West Ham win unprecedented silverware after 40 years? Pass
Give me a left-field way of how you would finish the season
- Thread starter Annihilate Now!
- Start date
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik and Imran hold a long overdue conversation about United's awful league form with 1 win in 7. They discuss a disappointing draw at Bournemouth, a not so disappointing draw against Liverpool and a crushing defeat at Chelsea - Is time nearly over for Erik Ten Hag?
Then in a special second half of the pod, Nik welcomes Natalie ( https://twitter.com/natalie_17) to discuss the fortunes of Manchester United Women as they booked a place in the FA Cup Final after a historic first ever win vs. Chelsea.
Imagine Troy Deeney trying to play chess
Any solution they come up with will be a left field way. But I would scrap the season and start again. Except Top 4 starts with +4 points and bottom 3 start with -4 points. Its as fair as it can get. Maybe it would be fairer if Liverpool start with +6 points but in this case I dont really care about fair!
Or they could do nude photo shoots of their partners - hottest wins. Ugliest gets relegated.
Or they could do nude photo shoots of their partners - hottest wins. Ugliest gets relegated.
I said manager with not manager who is.
It sounds outlandish if football returns early. But there is concern that the virus could bounce back after the summer (if it subsides at all), which means football may not resume until 2021.
Assuming it's safe in the new year, it won't be that much of a stretch to spread the remaining 9/10 leagues over the remaining months, especially if you chalk off January for "pre"-season.
Assuming an even more pessimistic return date around April 2021, suddenly we are dealing with fixture congestion again.
I think this is a pretty good idea to be fair.
Last Man Standing. Carry on playing all matches behind closed doors. Last team to get all their players infected are declared the coronavirus champions.
Duckworth Lewis.
Handbags at ten paces.
If the season isn't finished until December and there's a limited time to play next season I think they could have every team play each other once but at neutral venue.
An 8-Mile style rap battle between all the PL Coaches, with Mike Dean as the host.
I think Jose would win the league pretty comfortably then.
I think Jose would win the league pretty comfortably then.
The old "Gladiator's" Eliminator round. Instead of contenders, you have the managers on one giant 20 lane course.
Instead of the spandex that they wore on the show, they're all dressed as the respective clubs Mascot. Fred the Red, that stupid fecking Hammer from West Ham and of course, our oversized abomination, Mighty Red.
Every point clear in the current Premier League table equates to a 0.5 second head start and of course, John Anderson would officiate.
Instead of the spandex that they wore on the show, they're all dressed as the respective clubs Mascot. Fred the Red, that stupid fecking Hammer from West Ham and of course, our oversized abomination, Mighty Red.
Every point clear in the current Premier League table equates to a 0.5 second head start and of course, John Anderson would officiate.
Not going to lie, that was gripping!
What about if every team plays the crystal maze? Collect crystals and get more time in that glass dome thingy where each gold ticket you collect corresponds to the amount of points you get.
Declare Liverpool null and void.
Based on the all-time cumulative PL table. A bigger and more credible sample size than finishing this season with 20 odd games
Premier League best 11 vs Liverpool supporters best 11 for the league.
Or we can have the WWE PL Championship
City lost the championship to Norwich
Norwich lost to Burnley
Burnley lost to Leicester
Leicester lost to City
City lost to Wolves
Wolves lost to Liverpool
Liverpool lost to Watford
Watford lost to Crystal Palace
Crystal Palace win the WWE PL Championship
City lost the championship to Norwich
Norwich lost to Burnley
Burnley lost to Leicester
Leicester lost to City
City lost to Wolves
Wolves lost to Liverpool
Liverpool lost to Watford
Watford lost to Crystal Palace
Crystal Palace win the WWE PL Championship
They need to delay as long as they can. When it's safe to start again, they finish up the reminding games of this season. For next season, a smaller league, cut the league in two, winner of each league play finale.
Put every premier league season in a ball and pull it out of a draw.. the winner of the season that comes out, wins this season
A mass royal rumble with all players from all teams entering the ring. Bailly to be last man standing and therefore win us the league.
Start next season with the fixtures that are left. Then hand out prizes and promotions. Then new season starts with the same points.
So basically last few games count for this season and next season.
So for example - Man Utd play 10 games = 30 points
. Total points - 75. End up third. Just hypothetically! Then table is reset to points from just last 10 games. So we start on 30 and are first. We dont replay those last 10 games again.
Promoted teams and relegated teams swap on the same points. So say Villa's last ten games they get ten points and they swap with Fulham who ended with 12 points. Villa will be in Championship with 12 points and Fulham start the Prem on 10 points.
Done. Would mean we can still have a transfer window. A pre-season. Time to get corona in check. A completion of the season. Everything done.
So basically last few games count for this season and next season.
So for example - Man Utd play 10 games = 30 points
. Total points - 75. End up third. Just hypothetically! Then table is reset to points from just last 10 games. So we start on 30 and are first. We dont replay those last 10 games again.Promoted teams and relegated teams swap on the same points. So say Villa's last ten games they get ten points and they swap with Fulham who ended with 12 points. Villa will be in Championship with 12 points and Fulham start the Prem on 10 points.
Done. Would mean we can still have a transfer window. A pre-season. Time to get corona in check. A completion of the season. Everything done.
Two MMA tournaments. Ten men in each tournament - one tournament for the top 10, one tournament for 11-20.
Each team picks one player to send in, with a backup player to take over in case of injury or cuts that prevent that player from fighting.
Winner of the top 10 tournament wins the league, losing finalist comes second, and so on.
Player who has the biggest pasting/loses quickest in the bottom 10 tournament 1st round, comes bottom and his team finish 20th. Next quickest, 19th. And so on. The only problem with the second tournament is that after the first round of fights, there's nothing to fight for as the bottom 3 teams will be decided an relegated but it will still be a decent laugh and bragging rights.
The main tournament will be must-watch, though - like PRIDE in its heyday.
As United will be in tournament #1, for the title, my pick for our representative fighter would be:
Eric Bailly - hard, athletic, bit crazy.
However, let's face it, if he wins his first fight he's injured anyway so backup player is:
AWB - tough, athletic, more cerebral.
Each team picks one player to send in, with a backup player to take over in case of injury or cuts that prevent that player from fighting.
Winner of the top 10 tournament wins the league, losing finalist comes second, and so on.
Player who has the biggest pasting/loses quickest in the bottom 10 tournament 1st round, comes bottom and his team finish 20th. Next quickest, 19th. And so on. The only problem with the second tournament is that after the first round of fights, there's nothing to fight for as the bottom 3 teams will be decided an relegated but it will still be a decent laugh and bragging rights.
The main tournament will be must-watch, though - like PRIDE in its heyday.
As United will be in tournament #1, for the title, my pick for our representative fighter would be:
Eric Bailly - hard, athletic, bit crazy.
However, let's face it, if he wins his first fight he's injured anyway so backup player is:
AWB - tough, athletic, more cerebral.
Once we get a quick test to see if the players have had COVID-19 or currently do:
- Seven aside matches
- 30 minute matches
- A game every single day.
You could finish the season in two weeks.
- Seven aside matches
- 30 minute matches
- A game every single day.
You could finish the season in two weeks.
Re-instate the games immediately, played with no crowds though, and players are not allowed within 2 metres of each other throughout the game. Every time the keeper has the ball, he has to clean it with a disinfectant wipe.
The not so beautiful game.
All 19 teams’ squads take turns kicking Liverpool’s players in the nads. Including all of the pundits who used to play for them.
Whoever’s the first one to make KKKs nob fall clean off-their team wins. 2nd place for the one that nails Fowler, 3rd Jon Aldridge etc.
Then the Championship teams will have to sort places out, and so on down the football pyramid.
When we run out of players and pundits, I guess we’ll have to move onto the fans.
CL goes to whoever’eunachs’ Oliver Holt
Whoever’s the first one to make KKKs nob fall clean off-their team wins. 2nd place for the one that nails Fowler, 3rd Jon Aldridge etc.
Then the Championship teams will have to sort places out, and so on down the football pyramid.
When we run out of players and pundits, I guess we’ll have to move onto the fans.
CL goes to whoever’eunachs’ Oliver Holt
Should just sim the season out based on fm2020
As posted in other thread.
Do it on FIFA, with a giant 100ft screen and the players all taking control of themselves. Can be live-streamed so we can all watch. Just get EA to set the table and fixtures up as they are now.
Do it on FIFA, with a giant 100ft screen and the players all taking control of themselves. Can be live-streamed so we can all watch. Just get EA to set the table and fixtures up as they are now.
Flip a coin.
August-October: finish 19-20 season
November: break for international games and winter transfer window open
December-May: play shortened version of 20-21 season. Only 19 league games, CL and El are a two legged knockout competition from the beginning, and scrap domestic cups for teams in Europe.
November: break for international games and winter transfer window open
December-May: play shortened version of 20-21 season. Only 19 league games, CL and El are a two legged knockout competition from the beginning, and scrap domestic cups for teams in Europe.
TOP 6 fight out for European places, group in 2 group. TOP 2 goes to champion league and bottom teams goes to Europa. Same for bottom 6, 1st place stay in premier league and bottom 2 relegation. 2nd place finisher fight out to stay in Premier league. 2-3 games to determine the league. Prices money will be equally divided. Done!
A blitz, each remaining fixtures lasts 30 minutes or golden goal. Teams have to play four times in a single day.
Or
Penalty shoot out - All remaining games to be solved by penalty shoot out. Could be done over three days.
Or
Penalty shoot out - All remaining games to be solved by penalty shoot out. Could be done over three days.
A) 30 C days rule
After 30 consecutive days of no new c-virus cases, Combine this season with the next = Season 19/21* (Basically the season now is on hold/freeze).
Situation "Safer"?
Then simply continue the remaining games (EPleague and cups). CL and EL need to make sure every relevant countries where remaining teams originated are also 30 days "safe" respectively.
Follow these strict rules :
Games
2) Closed stadium (only football officials and teams, club staffs, stadium staffs and media staffs).
3) The staffs from each 3 departments must be set to best minimum.
4) Only 20 max players and roughly 5 coaches + medic per team. Use youth players if not enough healthy first teamers, and loan players. Loan system to be opened throughout this.
5) A team can freely apply for "withdraw" meaning they concede and lose the game straightaway.
6) Match broadcast is basically just online.
7) Good proper Screening must be done way before. Any players who have any illnesses must never join travel. Any squad that are found to be guilty of including such illed players (to gain advantage in match) will be fined and shamed.
8) no handshakes and all in attendances must wear protective gloves. Except players on pitch and refs, all must wear face masks.
9) Pitch and Stadium must be disinfected before and after games. Everytime.
10) Cut the match short about 90 mins game + 30 mins before and after. No interviews with players and managers. Game done, then shower and go home straightaway.
Miscellaneous
11) Games of any tournament combine must be spread out by 15 days. Eg. United play EPL on 1st Aug then will play Cup next on 16 Aug. This is why it extend that long. Minimize risks.
12) Government football bodies need to make sure of that and TV/media rights teams and sponsorships whatever need to work together about the schedule and airings.
13) Any champions then will have the asterisk * mark eg. FA Cup Champion Season 19/21*.
Lastly, Most Important.
14) Treat it like a friendly game, the goal is to entertain following the virus affecting all lifes. Don't fight or make unwanted scenes. Many things matters more in this life.
Edit:
too long, got too enthusiastic jotting this down.
After 30 consecutive days of no new c-virus cases, Combine this season with the next = Season 19/21* (Basically the season now is on hold/freeze).
Situation "Safer"?
Then simply continue the remaining games (EPleague and cups). CL and EL need to make sure every relevant countries where remaining teams originated are also 30 days "safe" respectively.
Follow these strict rules :
Games
2) Closed stadium (only football officials and teams, club staffs, stadium staffs and media staffs).
3) The staffs from each 3 departments must be set to best minimum.
4) Only 20 max players and roughly 5 coaches + medic per team. Use youth players if not enough healthy first teamers, and loan players. Loan system to be opened throughout this.
5) A team can freely apply for "withdraw" meaning they concede and lose the game straightaway.
6) Match broadcast is basically just online.
7) Good proper Screening must be done way before. Any players who have any illnesses must never join travel. Any squad that are found to be guilty of including such illed players (to gain advantage in match) will be fined and shamed.
8) no handshakes and all in attendances must wear protective gloves. Except players on pitch and refs, all must wear face masks.
9) Pitch and Stadium must be disinfected before and after games. Everytime.
10) Cut the match short about 90 mins game + 30 mins before and after. No interviews with players and managers. Game done, then shower and go home straightaway.
Miscellaneous
11) Games of any tournament combine must be spread out by 15 days. Eg. United play EPL on 1st Aug then will play Cup next on 16 Aug. This is why it extend that long. Minimize risks.
12) Government football bodies need to make sure of that and TV/media rights teams and sponsorships whatever need to work together about the schedule and airings.
13) Any champions then will have the asterisk * mark eg. FA Cup Champion Season 19/21*.
Lastly, Most Important.
14) Treat it like a friendly game, the goal is to entertain following the virus affecting all lifes. Don't fight or make unwanted scenes. Many things matters more in this life.
Edit:
too long, got too enthusiastic jotting this down.5 a side tournament wearing custom hazmat suits in the teams colours. 2x20 minutes.
Finish this one in a regular way, as soon as defensible. Depending on how late next season starts, either play a half-season (19 games), or half-season, then split the league in half (28 games). It'd be a little bit unfair with home/away games, but other leagues like Argentina does it. Alternately, play all games in neutral venues, either in England, or sell every league game to higher bidders (even abroad) for one season. Distribute any additional income from sold games to league teams across the entire pyramid to make sure all the teams get through economically.
Three legged team race followed by wheel Barrow race, followed by the egg and spoon race. Winner takes all. Final results are league positions.
What no Mum's Race? Highlight of any school sports day surely?
By the rules, season needs to be finished by end of June. I'm not sure how likely and realistic/fair it is to finish season with integrity. Liverpool deserve to win the league, cramming the games to be done in a month behind closed doors is hardly fair. Especially for teams fighting against relegation and top 4. You can't tell me that the away teams wouldn't have an advantage. This is clearly to ensure tv money.
Null and void, everyone stays where they were. Maybe put an asterisk beside Liverpool that they finished first, even though mathematically they hadn't won it.
Think this virus is going to last months in Europe most likely. Put cup games and CL/EL knockout games when they were scheduled in 2020 in 2021. Keeps everyone safe and start league in late September. Cancel fa cup/league cup and play this seasons knockout fa cup in the second half of the season. Basically put forward one year. It comes down to how are we going to protect everyone. I don't think as it stands now at the very end of March, we can say that it will be safe. Safe for the players and staff, paramedics and logistics of having closed stadium games. Good luck telling merseyside to stay inside if they are winning the league some week in May.
Cutting European games is still crucial in my opinion. Fans shouldn't be travelling anywhere for the next 6 months.
Null and void, everyone stays where they were. Maybe put an asterisk beside Liverpool that they finished first, even though mathematically they hadn't won it.
Think this virus is going to last months in Europe most likely. Put cup games and CL/EL knockout games when they were scheduled in 2020 in 2021. Keeps everyone safe and start league in late September. Cancel fa cup/league cup and play this seasons knockout fa cup in the second half of the season. Basically put forward one year. It comes down to how are we going to protect everyone. I don't think as it stands now at the very end of March, we can say that it will be safe. Safe for the players and staff, paramedics and logistics of having closed stadium games. Good luck telling merseyside to stay inside if they are winning the league some week in May.
Cutting European games is still crucial in my opinion. Fans shouldn't be travelling anywhere for the next 6 months.