Ozil and Pogba.
Player types you hate playing with..
- Thread starter Bobski
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Funnily enough just had these cnuts last week. Neither able to run or spot a beautiful pass. Me and the other forward keep getting into positions whole game and these two mofos playing tennis from our d box until the midfield and lose possession. Then asking why nobody wants to receive the ball. One guy left at half time he was our DMC. I lolled hard then, but by the end i decided not to go play with this lot again. Cnuts
The nutcase who thinks it 3pm Saturday afternoon and thou shall not pass with legs intact,
The one who refuses to be a goal keeper when he's the only one that's bad with the ball. Literally only there to help us have 5 players on the pitch.
This. Played 7 a sides on Saturday morning and I’ve lost half the skin on my knees from some pr*ck just constantly trying to nail everyone.
Haha some classics, think I’ve played with all these guys.
My biggest bugbears are:
The ‘too good to go in goals’.
The useless runner who all he does is run about a lot, constantly marking the same player as you as he follows the ball around the whole pitch.
The low ability shouter, who tries to bark orders constantly despite being shite himself.
And finally, the only pass to my friend guy.
My biggest bugbears are:
The ‘too good to go in goals’.
The useless runner who all he does is run about a lot, constantly marking the same player as you as he follows the ball around the whole pitch.
The low ability shouter, who tries to bark orders constantly despite being shite himself.
And finally, the only pass to my friend guy.
The dribbler who isn't much of a dribbler anyway and wastes time on the ball allowing the opposition to drop back. Only passes out once it's clear he has no chance of getting anywhere, or simply loses the ball. Normally doesn't track back.
Is that you Alexis?
Biiiig shout out to ‘I only pass to my mate’, do my head in, there’s loads of us I don’t care if you and your mate can link up particularly.. well badly, let the rest of us play.
The fat lad who has great feet and is a total bully , thinks he is Messi and Gattuso all in one. He can’t run 5 yards but is weirdly effective at 5-a-side.
Every single scenario mentioned reminds me someone (different people, but with some overlaps).
The guy who treats 5 a side as if it's an 11 a side game, refuses to help out without the ball "because he's a striker" so we inevitably end up a man down in defence. He won't even slightly press the oppo's deepest player when he has the ball wide open, then a blows a fuse because the ball isn't passed to him the nanosecond we win it back.
The shoot on sight guy pisses me off as a teammate, but it's usually the guys who don't have the coordination to complete a dribble or simple pass and moves so I cut them some slack.
The mouthy guy I've learned to ignore. He can shout into the wind for all I care.
The overly aggressive oppo's can feck right off. I will pull out of a challenge if I sense I could get hurt by some cnut coming in like a wreckingball 100mph, usually followed by a bollocking from the mouthy one.
The self appointed captains. I don't run into these guys often but it's the guys that think it's their job to keep track of who's been in net and hasn't been in a while, dictating who should mark who, will give you a pep talk if you get dribbled past or we concede a goal to the guy nearest to me.
The last paragraph - seems like a decent type of player to play with for me. Much better to have someone talking in a side than a bunch of mouses doing their own thing with zero team cohesion and as long as they're encouraging and not a twat.. do not see the issue. Oh and they must be one of the better players in the side - if you can't hold your own in a game, then do not bother giving out orders.
Every single scenario mentioned reminds me someone (different people, but with some overlaps).
The guy who treats 5 a side as if it's an 11 a side game, refuses to help out without the ball "because he's a striker" so we inevitably end up a man down in defence. He won't even slightly press the oppo's deepest player when he has the ball wide open, then a blows a fuse because the ball isn't passed to him the nanosecond we win it back.
The shoot on sight guy pisses me off as a teammate, but it's usually the guys who don't have the coordination to complete a dribble or simple pass and moves so I cut them some slack.
The mouthy guy I've learned to ignore. He can shout into the wind for all I care.
The overly aggressive oppo's can feck right off. I will pull out of a challenge if I sense I could get hurt by some cnut coming in like a wreckingball 100mph, usually followed by a bollocking from the mouthy one.
The self appointed captains. I don't run into these guys often but it's the guys that think it's their job to keep track of who's been in net and hasn't been in a while, dictating who should mark who, will give you a pep talk if you get dribbled past or we concede a goal to the guy nearest to me.
Agree on the others though.
But it just feels incredible when you find the opposite of this, when you play with someone who is just bang on, exactly on the same wavelength as you. All your passes come off perfectly, eye contact before making a run and he finds you perfectly, flicks and dummies come off like a dream. I cherish those days
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This thread reminds me of one guy who used to come to 5 aside games. American, never played football before, two left feet and built like a tank. He would swing his legs everywhere and collect whatever was in front of him, ball, your shins, anything. It was a very effective technique because nobody would tackle him for fear of getting their legs broken and everybody wanted to be on his team so he would't come after you. In a real game he'd be sent off after 5 minutes but in 5 aside he was unplayable.
It can be patronising. It's a 5 a side, we're not solving a complex maths problem. You don't want some guy talking to you about "be more alert" or "look at the ball, not the feet" when someone dribbles past you. One time this cnut stopped the game because he was arguing with someone about who was next in goal.
They're all bad but the worst type of player, the absolute worst to play with, is the guy that shouts for the ball when they are being tightly marked and you have space around you.
And people who shout awful instructions in general.
Honestly nothing worse in the world. I've always played my best football when I'm left to think for myself but because these days when I play it's only with friends I feel like it's my duty to just pass the ball whenever anyone asks for it. The horrible truth is that 90% of the time when these sorts of zero awareness characters demand the ball they make YOU look bad when they inevitably miscontrol/get stepped in front of by the far more aware opponent half a foot away.
And people who shout awful instructions in general.
Honestly nothing worse in the world. I've always played my best football when I'm left to think for myself but because these days when I play it's only with friends I feel like it's my duty to just pass the ball whenever anyone asks for it. The horrible truth is that 90% of the time when these sorts of zero awareness characters demand the ball they make YOU look bad when they inevitably miscontrol/get stepped in front of by the far more aware opponent half a foot away.
Nah. In my very low quality 6 a side games, I started to hate these guys whether you're on their team or not. They're by far the best person playing, but absolutely in love with themselves.Aka "venezia"
Unless they're so good they can win by themselves, then they become everyone's favourite teammate
If you're on the opposing team, it's a constant battle to stop yourself looking a mug. But if you're on their team there's a limited amount of fun involved in knowing that whatever run you make he'll just waltz through their defence and shoot while completely ignoring you anyway.
In the end, I rather they be on the other side. At least you get the joy of tackling the show off git.
The good player, who’s a chopsy cnut that gets aggressive if you somehow manage to take the ball off him.
When I did play I got frustrated by ball hoggers, players who passed the ball behind me when I was making a forward run and players who shy away from physical battles
What’s worst is when the player has all of these attributes!
FFS another Pogba thread?
Jokes aside, the player who loses the ball when showboating and refuses to track back.
I disagree with that one. It's an English thing to only ever pass to somebody in space. Good players should be able to take the ball under pressure, sometimes it's a good thing to get the ball to them.
Is that you Bruno?I am the kind of guy in midfield who likes to play difficult through balls and always looks to create chances, but the pass doesn't always work out and I sometimes end up losing possession.
I wonder if I am the kind of player who would piss people off
Players who think they're above the league they're playing in, but have done nothing to prove they are.
This one - and usually talking about this great pass or that great goal they scored
and without them, the team would be nothing.
Are you English? What sort of players do you play with? If I pass to a marked player in my games I'm never going to see the ball again. If you're gonna demand the ball, make a run for it. I suppose there are the odd good player who will try for a one-two or something more complex but 99% of the time the reason they want the ball is to turn and shoot with it against the legs of the guy next to him (if it gets that far) and that's all.
I am English but i've played plenty in other countries. It's definitely an English thing to avoid passing/showing for the ball if you're not in acres of space. Continental players are fine with it.
Sometimes a team will be trying to play out from the back but the opposition is pressing high. The pressure comes on the defenders and the passing gets a little fraught. I absolutely hate the type of player who plays a short pass and misjudges the pace and puts the recipient under too much pressure but immediately instructs him who to pass to next time. Waving his hands around and pointing like it somehow absolves him of any responsibility for the bad pass.
In order of annoyance:
3. Lazy guy..... usually also the same guy that won't go in goal.
2. The guy that wants to just ping 50 yard balls into the corners at 5 a side. Nothing ever comes of it apart from another simple idiot shouting "Good knock"
1. The soft arse that can't take people communicating on the pitch. As a defender you have to be vocal and if you watch any decent team they communicate a lot. I never tell anybody off or scream at people, even the lazy guy, but will be talking / asking players to pick up, push left / right, man on etc. Nothing more annoying than saying "Just push 5 yards further forwards mate", for them to have a little diva strop as if you've called them a Cnut. The soft arse is usually also the guy that thinks he is much better than he is / shoot on sight or don't pass guy.
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3. Lazy guy..... usually also the same guy that won't go in goal.
2. The guy that wants to just ping 50 yard balls into the corners at 5 a side. Nothing ever comes of it apart from another simple idiot shouting "Good knock"
1. The soft arse that can't take people communicating on the pitch. As a defender you have to be vocal and if you watch any decent team they communicate a lot. I never tell anybody off or scream at people, even the lazy guy, but will be talking / asking players to pick up, push left / right, man on etc. Nothing more annoying than saying "Just push 5 yards further forwards mate", for them to have a little diva strop as if you've called them a Cnut. The soft arse is usually also the guy that thinks he is much better than he is / shoot on sight or don't pass guy.
.
I'm the mouthpiece on my team, so I can't hate that guy. Mind you, I don't have a sh*tty attitude
I just don't like players who aren't smart. I don't care how bad you are, if you try and do the right thing then I can play with you. What ticks me off is if I start to make a run as the ball is coming to you, and instead of you passing it to me with your first touch, first you control it, then take a touch to get it out of your feet, and then you pass it. By this time I'm already offside. And when I bark at you, just say "sorry, I'll get you next time" rather than argue with me
I just don't like players who aren't smart. I don't care how bad you are, if you try and do the right thing then I can play with you. What ticks me off is if I start to make a run as the ball is coming to you, and instead of you passing it to me with your first touch, first you control it, then take a touch to get it out of your feet, and then you pass it. By this time I'm already offside. And when I bark at you, just say "sorry, I'll get you next time" rather than argue with me
For me:
1. The "creative" defender/midfielder who always chooses the hardest, most ambitious pass, preferably with the outside of his foot and the longer the pass the better. Success rate < 5%
2. The lazy dribler.
3. The verbal abusers (Racist, homophobic etc.)
4. The Vinnie Jones'es: toestepping, knee-to-thighing, nippletwisting and nutcrusting cnuts ruining friendly training sessions.
1. The "creative" defender/midfielder who always chooses the hardest, most ambitious pass, preferably with the outside of his foot and the longer the pass the better. Success rate < 5%
2. The lazy dribler.
3. The verbal abusers (Racist, homophobic etc.)
4. The Vinnie Jones'es: toestepping, knee-to-thighing, nippletwisting and nutcrusting cnuts ruining friendly training sessions.
I think I have been the annoying dribbler and definitely the shoot on sight guy through the years. I used to try and do it all by myself if my teammates weren't up to it but have since matured and try to involve everyone as much as possible as I can.
I still shoot far too often, though, it's a bad habit that is tough to get out of (they used to go in a lot more often) and it gets worse the more tired I get.
Another teammate I hate playing with is the guy who constantly calls for the ball, even when he's in a poor position. It's good to have willing players, but if you're 20 yards behind me in a straight line, stop calling for the fecking ball.
I still shoot far too often, though, it's a bad habit that is tough to get out of (they used to go in a lot more often) and it gets worse the more tired I get.
Another teammate I hate playing with is the guy who constantly calls for the ball, even when he's in a poor position. It's good to have willing players, but if you're 20 yards behind me in a straight line, stop calling for the fecking ball.
Another to add to the list – the drag back king. Has perfected this one annoying skill and will do it over and over for self satisfaction while not contributing anything else to the team or game.
Is your friend the type that includes the entire list?
Others:-
-The guy who turns up late every week, but wants everyone to carry on for hours if the pitch is free.
-The guy who doesn't take it seriously, I dont mean life or death, but laughing at his own mistakes that lead to goals conceded p155es me off
- the one footed guy, great right foot but any pass near his left will lead to a counterattack
- the guy who refuses to wash tge bibs any week, and is late paying..if he ever does
-The guy who turns up late every week, but wants everyone to carry on for hours if the pitch is free.
-The guy who doesn't take it seriously, I dont mean life or death, but laughing at his own mistakes that lead to goals conceded p155es me off
- the one footed guy, great right foot but any pass near his left will lead to a counterattack
- the guy who refuses to wash tge bibs any week, and is late paying..if he ever does
This reminds me of incident a couple of years ago. I was asked to join a team that was participating in a regional tournament. These guys weren't my friends, just people I met through football, nights out, friends of friends etc but I'd known them all for years. So we're at this tournament, and we're doing great - won our group by winning all our games.
We get all the way to the semifinals and then we come up against another very good team who have been smashing everyone 4-0. One of the black guys in their team and has a minor scuffle with my teammate, late tackle, some pushing and shoving, squaring up and my teammate fires a couple of racist slurs at him and me being black also, I was stunned. Ref comes across to break it up and we continue playing without it being addressed. The victim of the racist abuse scored the next goal, we lose 2-1 and are eliminated and I was secretly buzzing for him.
Thankfully no, but he did used to shoot on sight no matter what. But he changed after everyone constantly going on at him
Guy I play football with is a very good player and he's of some sort of ethnic ancestry (I don't want to guess at what) and got a load of random abuse on his social media from a team he played against - he took it as banter and tried to give some back but they just gave it twice as hard back at him and got REALLY nasty.
They're wastes of sperm and eggs, those boys. I think racists and that sort of thing doesn't really count as being a football thing, more an awful human thing. Sorry to hear that though lad, glad you got sort of a happyish ending to that story at least.
That goes beyond the point of this thread, really. If I’d heard that from a team’mate’, one of us would have to stop playing. It’s not annoying, it’s fecked up and out of bounds.
Whereas the most annoying type of player I play with, is the one who can’t be bothered to put in the effort if we’re a couple of goals down.
There are three that really get to me:
- The one who hates playing a "regular" pass and avoids it at all costs
- The one who likes to nutmeg and do fancy stuff, combined with halfhearted deefensive work and constant complaining.
- The one with a huge gap between perceived skill and actual skill. This is perhaps the worst
- The one who hates playing a "regular" pass and avoids it at all costs
- The one who likes to nutmeg and do fancy stuff, combined with halfhearted deefensive work and constant complaining.
- The one with a huge gap between perceived skill and actual skill. This is perhaps the worst