Player types you hate playing with..

GDaly95

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The pointer. Someone who just slowly approaches the opposing player who has the ball and instead of making any real attempt to win the ball they just point at other players who the guy on the ball might pass it to as if to usher his own teammates around despite doing feck all himself.
 

Grande

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I'm the mouthpiece on my team, so I can't hate that guy. Mind you, I don't have a sh*tty attitude :lol: :lol: :lol:

I just don't like players who aren't smart. I don't care how bad you are, if you try and do the right thing then I can play with you. What ticks me off is if I start to make a run as the ball is coming to you, and instead of you passing it to me with your first touch, first you control it, then take a touch to get it out of your feet, and then you pass it. By this time I'm already offside. And when I bark at you, just say "sorry, I'll get you next time" rather than argue with me :lol::lol::lol:
I’m that ‘not smart’ guy. I didn’t play much organized football growing up, so there’s a lot of the practical abc I never learned about team play. Particularily 11 a-side. When I played organized football as adilt, I’d put in more effort than most, but there’d always be a couple of players driven mad by my wrong/slow choices and positioning, when to press etc. Made me feel like an idiot, of course, which didn’t help either. Luckily a few of the other guys had mercy on me and used to give me some instructions here and there to help me out. Much appreciated.
 

troylocker

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This reminds me of incident a couple of years ago. I was asked to join a team that was participating in a regional tournament. These guys weren't my friends, just people I met through football, nights out, friends of friends etc but I'd known them all for years. So we're at this tournament, and we're doing great - won our group by winning all our games.

We get all the way to the semifinals and then we come up against another very good team who have been smashing everyone 4-0. One of the black guys in their team and has a minor scuffle with my teammate, late tackle, some pushing and shoving, squaring up and my teammate fires a couple of racist slurs at him and me being black also, I was stunned. Ref comes across to break it up and we continue playing without it being addressed. The victim of the racist abuse scored the next goal, we lose 2-1 and are eliminated and I was secretly buzzing for him.
Yeah! So sad when stuff like that happens. In a preseason match 20 years ago (Lower levels) one of our players, got tackled a couple of times by a guy from Somalia, and couldn't cope with it. It ended in a tirade of racist remarks. It was by far the most embarassing and shamefull moment I've experienced on the footballfield. Good thing it ended with a red card and all other present on and off the field condemming it.
 
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WeePat

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That goes beyond the point of this thread, really. If I’d heard that from a team’mate’, one of us would have to stop playing. It’s not annoying, it’s fecked up and out of bounds.

Whereas the most annoying type of player I play with, is the one who can’t be bothered to put in the effort if we’re a couple of goals down.
It was off-topic I know. It was a tournament with a cash prize on the line

Back to the topic though - the guy that can't stop taking wild shots that end up going above the the net that surrounds all the pitches. It takes at least a couple of minutes to get the ball back, unless the pitch it lands in is occupied and they boot it back to us.
 

Inigo Montoya

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Funny this comes up. My son's U12's lost their first game in 9 yesterday but a number came off moaning about one of our players saying what a pain in the arse he is for constantly moaning about everything.

He's also the coach's son...so that doesn't help:lol:

So I'd have to say the moaner and whinger
 

Mihai

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I'm the mouthpiece on my team, so I can't hate that guy. Mind you, I don't have a sh*tty attitude :lol: :lol: :lol:

I just don't like players who aren't smart. I don't care how bad you are, if you try and do the right thing then I can play with you. What ticks me off is if I start to make a run as the ball is coming to you, and instead of you passing it to me with your first touch, first you control it, then take a touch to get it out of your feet, and then you pass it. By this time I'm already offside. And when I bark at you, just say "sorry, I'll get you next time" rather than argue with me :lol::lol::lol:
Looks like you are friends with AWB
 

SadlerMUFC

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I’m that ‘not smart’ guy. I didn’t play much organized football growing up, so there’s a lot of the practical abc I never learned about team play. Particularily 11 a-side. When I played organized football as adilt, I’d put in more effort than most, but there’d always be a couple of players driven mad by my wrong/slow choices and positioning, when to press etc. Made me feel like an idiot, of course, which didn’t help either. Luckily a few of the other guys had mercy on me and used to give me some instructions here and there to help me out. Much appreciated.
The thing is, you seem to be able to admit it. Some of the guys I've played with can't. I tell them to make a pass with their first touch and they say "I did". They don't even realize they took 2 touches before they made a pass. The other thing that drives me crazy is when guys take a first touch that goes back to the same direction the ball came from. Your first touch needs to be into space. I've had guys yell at me for passing them the ball when there is a guy pressing towards them. They don't realize that a first touch can go to the side to get away from trouble. Basically, if I pass you the ball it's because you have an opening to step into. Too many people just don't see the space on the field...
 

Neil_Buchanan

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Mine was ‘all stamina, no technique’ - I can’t pass well and my shooting is terrible but I can read the game and never stop running, like a mad dog from the first whistle to the last.
 

Raees

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It can be patronising. It's a 5 a side, we're not solving a complex maths problem. You don't want some guy talking to you about "be more alert" or "look at the ball, not the feet" when someone dribbles past you. One time this cnut stopped the game because he was arguing with someone about who was next in goal.
Depends. Don't really want to be playing with brain dead players who cannot follow their man or do the basics. Depends on the level of players you are playing with and what you want to achieve from the game.. is it just a kick about for fun or a game you want to win. Might just be a 5 aside, but some 5 aside encounters are super competitive and others are a total jokefest. Likewise with the keeper situation, if no one is willing to go in goal and one guy is refusing to go in and it is meant to be everyone has to go in - you can see why someone feels the need to tell people to go in.
 

T00lsh3d

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Alternative question - which type of player do you think you are.
I think I’m closest to the low-ability shouter :lol:
 

Grande

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The thing is, you seem to be able to admit it. Some of the guys I've played with can't. I tell them to make a pass with their first touch and they say "I did". They don't even realize they took 2 touches before they made a pass. The other thing that drives me crazy is when guys take a first touch that goes back to the same direction the ball came from. Your first touch needs to be into space. I've had guys yell at me for passing them the ball when there is a guy pressing towards them. They don't realize that a first touch can go to the side to get away from trouble. Basically, if I pass you the ball it's because you have an opening to step into. Too many people just don't see the space on the field...
Well, I’m sure you have played at a much higher level than I have. Some people have a hard time admitting mistakes, and in the adrenaline rush of a game, much more so! I do have a hard time admitting to overly rough use of arms, but I’m not the wirst for humility. I once played with a guy who also was a ref (like me), and he insisted on claiming he had never once made a wrong call on the pitch refereeing. It was a short conversation.
 

WeePat

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Depends. Don't really want to be playing with brain dead players who cannot follow their man or do the basics. Depends on the level of players you are playing with and what you want to achieve from the game.. is it just a kick about for fun or a game you want to win. Might just be a 5 aside, but some 5 aside encounters are super competitive and others are a total jokefest. Likewise with the keeper situation, if no one is willing to go in goal and one guy is refusing to go in and it is meant to be everyone has to go in - you can see why someone feels the need to tell people to go in.
Yeah, context matters of course. I'm just talking about a kick about after work with mates or work colleagues. We're not pros, so there will always been one or two who have two left feet. I just can't be arsed with people walking around telling me where I should have been or what I should have done whenever we concede.

I prefer it to be good balance between super competitive and a jokefest. Expect people to take seriously enough to want to win the game, but not so serious where someone making a mistake deserves an angry bollocking. There has to be a certain level of intensity present for me to enjoy myself, but people being too serious are as much of a buzz kill as the ones who treat it as a big joke.
 

MancFanFromManc

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The I'm afraid to pass the ball, so hold on to it for ludicrous lengths of time then complain there was no movement when he has turned down 30 passing options"

"This" rascal all day long!!!! :mad: (and I think I may have been one when I was younger until I had it kicked out of me in the Manchester League)
 

Raees

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Yeah, context matters of course. I'm just talking about a kick about after work with mates or work colleagues. We're not pros, so there will always been one or two who have two left feet. I just can't be arsed with people walking around telling me where I should have been or what I should have done whenever we concede.

I prefer it to be good balance between super competitive and a jokefest. Expect people to take seriously enough to want to win the game, but not so serious where someone making a mistake deserves an angry bollocking. There has to be a certain level of intensity present for me to enjoy myself, but people being too serious are as much of a buzz kill as the ones who treat it as a big joke.
Ah work context - completely agree with you in that case then. No need for it.
 

Macca7

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I’m that ‘not smart’ guy. I didn’t play much organized football growing up, so there’s a lot of the practical abc I never learned about team play. Particularily 11 a-side. When I played organized football as adilt, I’d put in more effort than most, but there’d always be a couple of players driven mad by my wrong/slow choices and positioning, when to press etc. Made me feel like an idiot, of course, which didn’t help either. Luckily a few of the other guys had mercy on me and used to give me some instructions here and there to help me out. Much appreciated.

I'm similar to this. Quite good technically, good touch, can pick out and deliver a good pass etc. Which means 5/7 a side suits me. When I play 11 a side though, I struggle with positioning and pressing. Who to mark, when to go when to sit etc. Really annoying for myself and my team mates moreso probably.
 

Schneiderman

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And people who shout awful instructions in general.

Honestly nothing worse in the world. I've always played my best football when I'm left to think for myself but because these days when I play it's only with friends I feel like it's my duty to just pass the ball whenever anyone asks for it. The horrible truth is that 90% of the time when these sorts of zero awareness characters demand the ball they make YOU look bad when they inevitably miscontrol/get stepped in front of by the far more aware opponent half a foot away.
This annoys me so much! I always listen to them too, and then I'm just like why, why did I listen?

Also, not so much a type but anyone that turns up in a tracksuit. You know they're going to be shite before they kick a ball.
 

Schneiderman

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But it just feels incredible when you find the opposite of this, when you play with someone who is just bang on, exactly on the same wavelength as you. All your passes come off perfectly, eye contact before making a run and he finds you perfectly, flicks and dummies come off like a dream. I cherish those days :lol:
I have a guy like this. Much better player than me, but everytime we play together he somehow turns me into Messi.
 

matherto

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Mine was ‘all stamina, no technique’ - I can’t pass well and my shooting is terrible but I can read the game and never stop running, like a mad dog from the first whistle to the last.
When playing with friends in 8/9 a side, one of my best mates is one of these types (albeit his technique is better than he gives himself credit for). Usually if he's on my team, he just runs around up front and I sit just behind, he does all the running for me and I'll just pick him out to score. He's learnt that I'll always at least try and pick him out so we've got a good understanding of where to put the ball. Often looks like I've scuffed a shot to some of the others but I've just put the ball where he needs to be to get a dink on it into the net.

Always enjoy those games cause I get a ton of goals or assists thanks to his work.

I've got zero stamina unless I'm annoyed and have the ball in which case I'll tear past everyone and then go and die in a corner for a while. Definition of a youtube highlights player but of very amateur proportions.
 

Bobski

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Just had to deal with one who is pretty rare outside of kids football;

The Shameless Goal Hanger. Positions himself about 6 yards out(on an 8/9 aside pitch), no interest in getting involved in the game, just waits, trying to hide by the keeper for cheap goals. Makes it a boring game for whoever tries to mark him, at least until the defender realizes that even his own team think it is an awful tactic and won't pass to him even if he is wide open. The tantrums were amusing.
 

Cutch

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The one who on first impressions you think isn't too bad. Decent athletic ability, bit of a turn of pace and power in his shot. On closer inspection they infuriate the life out of you when they use their pace to run down a blind alley or shoot when they get in any sort of position. They'll come home with a few goals to their name but their ball retention will be about 10% and they'll never give you a return pass to complete a 1-2 or see you when you're the obvious pass on. Just atrocious decision making
 

Vooon

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What type of players bug you the most when they turn up for your 5/7/8/9 aside session?

I think there are a few easy ones to identify;

The won't track back type,
The shitty attitude/mouthpiece type,
The wanabee tough guy who can give it but not take it, ruins the atmosphere of the game.
The I'm afraid to pass the ball, so hold on to it for ludicrous lengths of time then complain there was no movement when he has turned down 30 passing options"
The guy who wants to nutmeg everyone but keeps losing the ball-usually paired with doesn't track back
The 2 mins in nets then shouting next keeper
The one who makes no effort in nets and looks afraid of the ball hurting them
The one at the back who wants to hit every ball 50 yards thinking he has Scholes range
I agree with all of these, they're spot on.

I used to play 3-a-side on a small pitch and we had a couple of guys who I used to hate playing with, one particular was a guy who had this for a modus operandi:
  • didn't track back
  • he basically blocked the goal by parking infront of it when he was tired (measured approx 1 by 0,5 meters)
  • he shot and often scored from deep in his own half and broke an unspoken gentleman's agreement that this was shitty behavior and sucked the life out of the game. Come on man, at least cross the half way line!
  • he waited way too long to sub when he obvs was in need of a rest and didn't contribute to anything other than either not tracking back, or parking infront of his goal sprinkled with immoral long shots
  • at last he couldn't handle a few knocks and would often sulk like a bitch instead of sucking it up like the rest of us
 

padr81

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What type of players bug you the most when they turn up for your 5/7/8/9 aside session?

I think there are a few easy ones to identify;

The won't track back type,
The shitty attitude/mouthpiece type,
The wanabee tough guy who can give it but not take it, ruins the atmosphere of the game.
The I'm afraid to pass the ball, so hold on to it for ludicrous lengths of time then complain there was no movement when he has turned down 30 passing options"
The guy who wants to nutmeg everyone but keeps losing the ball-usually paired with doesn't track back
The 2 mins in nets then shouting next keeper
The one who makes no effort in nets and looks afraid of the ball hurting them
The one at the back who wants to hit every ball 50 yards thinking he has Scholes range
I am all of the above and currently morbidly obese to boot. Don't think we'd make good team mates.
 

The Original

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1. The player who is terrible at everything yet doesn't listen.

2. The good player who insists on being the captain no one asked for, providing running commentary on each aspect of the game.

I tend to be the best player or the joint best so these two types really get on my nerves.

On the other hand I'm probably the ball hog who doesn't track back but it's only because I'm out of energy from running.
 

Jericho

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Selfish players who are shite, constantly calling for the ball, never passing when you're free for a one-on-one with the keeper, never tracking back when they lose the ball trying to dribble the entire opposition.
 

Steven7290

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The Hollywood baller by a country mile, as I'm banging my head in playing with him most weeks. TBF, this player is a hard working one without the ball with decent technical ability but a thick player as a CM in a 7 a side game. However, every time he has the ball it will automatically be a long pass the entire length of the field which of course 9 times out of 10 give the ball straight back to the opposition. We run around exhausting ourselves, recover the ball, pass to him, rinse and repeat. Now it gets to the point that I consciously try my best not to give him the ball at all which is impossible since he's the CM.
 

WeePat

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I agree with all of these, they're spot on.

I used to play 3-a-side on a small pitch and we had a couple of guys who I used to hate playing with, one particular was a guy who had this for a modus operandi:
  • didn't track back
  • he basically blocked the goal by parking infront of it when he was tired (measured approx 1 by 0,5 meters)
  • he shot and often scored from deep in his own half and broke an unspoken gentleman's agreement that this was shitty behavior and sucked the life out of the game. Come on man, at least cross the half way line!
  • he waited way too long to sub when he obvs was in need of a rest and didn't contribute to anything other than either not tracking back, or parking infront of his goal sprinkled with immoral long shots
  • at last he couldn't handle a few knocks and would often sulk like a bitch instead of sucking it up like the rest of us
We had to have rules set up that prevent shitty behaviour that make the game less fun.

Can't score from your own half, can't pass the ball above head height, so no long balls and once the keeper rolls the ball out to his player, the ball has to go through at least one other outfield player before it can be returned to the keeper.

It keep the game moving.
 

Vooon

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We had to have rules set up that prevent shitty behaviour that make the game less fun.

Can't score from your own half, can't pass the ball above head height, so no long balls and once the keeper rolls the ball out to his player, the ball has to go through at least one other outfield player before it can be returned to the keeper.

It keep the game moving.
Yeah, when I played cage ball we had rules like that. It was a kinda informal rule in our 3-a-side game as well, he was the only one who did it. Since he was one of the organisers no-one really brought it up.