Alan Shearer | Pundit

[FC Ronaldo]

He's not as bad as Martin Keown but he's pretty unbearable isn't he?

 

[.Rossi]

Eddie Hitler proved tonight that's he's a better pundit than any of those idiots.

Lineker looks like he's about to recite poetry with that "beard"

 

[FC Ronaldo]

Lineker stole his line about Coldplay's Chris Martin so he said it again and sat there smugly as if the audience hadn't already heard it.

In the world of Alan Shearer, nothing else counts but the views and sounds of Alan Shearer.

 

[Mciahel Goodman]

Danny Murphy is actually decent . Shearer is terrible though.

 

[El Zoido]

He offers nothing of value but he's not annoying like so many others are.

 

[Riz]

He offers nothing of value by he's not annoying like so many others are.

This, he's so so bland. Typical Shearer analysis is "and he's put the ball in the box and its a great header into the gooowl" - Yes Alan we just watched that happen as well. The only time I think he's decent is when he's really blunt about Newcastle or Sunderland.

 

[FC Ronaldo]

Danny Murphy is actually decent . Shearer is terrible though.

Danny Murphy who earlier tonight said that a few of his mates at Brighton had said that Joao Teixeira was "decent" when he played there. He won their young player of the year award. It's not hard to work that out (or research it as, you know, a pundit should) or inform the audience of such if you must elaborate.

 

[Mciahel Goodman]

Danny Murphy who earlier tonight said that a few of his mates at Brighton had said that Joao Teixeira was "decent" when he played there. He won their young player of the year award. It's not hard to work that out (or research it as, you know, a pundit should) or inform the audience of such if you must elaborate.

Still a decent pundit/commentator.

 

[devil in me]

Danny Murphy is actually decent . Shearer is terrible though.

I like Danny Murphy too, he one of the best the BBC have, although that isn't difficult.

 

[NoPace]

I think when he started, Shearer was like a 1/10 on MOTD, but he's improved and is now a solid 3/10.

 

[BobbyManc]

Danny Murphy who earlier tonight said that a few of his mates at Brighton had said that Joao Teixeira was "decent" when he played there. He won their young player of the year award. It's not hard to work that out (or research it as, you know, a pundit should) or inform the audience of such if you must elaborate.

What's wrong with that? Does speaking to people who've played with the kid regularly and trained with him every day not constitute research for you?

 

[Attila]

Danny Murphy is also rubbish

 

[Flying_Heckfish]

The way he licks his lips/teeth every other sentence is very unnerving

 

[Enigma_87]

Great player, crap pundit.

 

[OnlyTwoDaSilvas]

Love this 'Small Talk' interview with him in the Guardian prior to the World Cup in 2010:

Hello Alan. How are you? Good.

Fine thanks. Say, who do you think will win the World Cup this summer? Think and hope are two different things. I hope England can win it obviously. If they keep Wayne Rooney fit they'll have a very good chance but I think my favourites for the tournament will be Spain.

Should Fabio Capello take David Beckham? I would take him for his experience, I think he has something to offer. Certainly not in the starting 11 to begin with, but for experience, for someone who can go on and help England win a game, or save a game, I would take him.

Which strikers should go? It depends whether he takes four or five strikers. Wayne will go, I think Defoe will go, I think Heskey will go. The other spot, or the other two spots, are open to debate. There's plenty to choose from. Carlton Cole, Crouch, Agbonlahor ...

Yes, yes, but which of them should he choose? [A bit miffed at being pressed] Probably Crouch and Agbonlahor.

Why Agbonlahor? Because he's had a fantastic season. He's got lightning pace. He's scored goals and looks a threat.

We must talk about Newcastle, Alan. They're top of the Championship this season – is that because they are a much better team than last year or because they're in a much worse league? They're in a worse league, there's no doubt about that. There's a huge difference between the Premier League and the Championship. But having said that, Chris Hughton deserves a lot of credit for the way he's settled things down and got them playing some decent stuff. He's got them to the top of the league, and it looks as if they'll have enough to go up. Once, or if, that happens, that poses a different question.

The question that poses is: will they be good enough to stay there? So will they? Now you know why so many teams go up from the Championship and then struggle and go straight back down because of the vast difference in the leagues. It depends how much they spend. If they spend pretty big they'll be able to stay up, yeah,

What did you learn from your experience of managing Newcastle? I learned that's a very, very tough job, but I also learned that I really enjoyed it despite what happened at the end of it. I loved the everyday questions that were posed of you, the adrenaline rush, and obviously the games. I really, really enjoyed it, despite what happened.

So you're looking to get back into management? If the right one comes along then I'd be interested.

What do you mean by the right one? I don't know what the right one is. I don't think you can be too picky or choosy. Certainly I can't be.

Tell us this, Alan, who is the football pundit you most admire, apart from yourself? He won't thank for me saying it, but I suppose I'll have to say Alan. He's been there for so many years. He's well respected, and he does talk a lot of sense. Not that I'd tell him that anyway.

Who are you talking about? Alan Green? Alan Hansen.

Oh right. Did he give you any tips when you were a novice pundit? [Miffed again] No, he didn't.

Are there any pundits you don't like? There were plenty who I didn't like when I was playing. Now I think I have a decent relationship with all of them.

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Have any current players come up to you to complain about something you've said on Match of the Day? No, they haven't.

What's the last piece of music you bought? Lionel Richie, when I went to his concert at the Newcastle Arena about six months ago. Fantastic.

Who's your favourite TV detective? I don't watch a lot of TV, to be honest. With three kids I have my hands full.

What about when you were a youngster? What was your favourite cartoon? [Nonplussed] Cartoons!?

Cartoons. I didn't watch cartoons, I was too busy playing football.

Apart from a football, did you have a favourite toy when you were a child? [Triumphantly] Yes, a goalpost.

Apart from football paraphernalia, did you have a favourite toy when you were a child? No, like I told you I was too busy playing football.

Now that you have retired, can you catch up on playing with the toys that you didn't play with when you were a youngster? Have you, for instance, discovered the joys of action men or maybe Lego? [With mounting anger] No, I don't play with toys. And I'm not into the PSPs or anything like that. Whenever I have any spare time I have a game of golf.

Assuming you have time to eat, what is your favourite vegetable? Goodness me. What type of questions are these? [Exasperated] I should say peas, should I?

There's no right or wrong answer, Alan, that's the beauty of it. OK, peas.

Not Brussel sprouts? [Annoyed] Peas.

Just a big bowl of peas? [Palpably hoping chat will conclude very soon] With a bit of mash, sausage and gravy.

What about fruit? An apple.

That's quite emphatic. You wouldn't have any time for an orange or a banana? [Firmly] You asked for my favourite fruit, I said an apple.

That is accurate. By the way, what superpowers would you like to have? [Impatiently] What do you mean?

The ability to fly? X-ray vision? Elbows of pure iron? I'd probably be invisible, so I could go and listen to some of Fergie's team talks.

What's the silliest thing you've ever done when drunk? I don't get drunk.

What's the weirdest thing a fan has ever asked you? To sign her chest.

Was there an Alan Shearer tattoo on it? No, because I never saw, because I refused to sign it.

So there might have been? I don't know.

We can't rule it out, Alan. Now, on an unrelated matter, have you ever seen a ghost? No.

Do you believe in the existence of ghosts? No.

Do you believe in life beyond earth? [Impatiently] I don't know what I believe in. I try not to think about it. I don't want to think about it.

Alan, can you tell us a joke? Yeah, your questions.

Bye Alan, it's been bliss. Bye

Alan. Larger than life. Cannot be tamed.

 

[Cheesy]

He's just incredibly boring. It seems to be something about a lot of English pundits in general who were good players, with Michael Owen being the prime example. Jamie Redknapp's just a bit rubbish as opposed to boring, but could probably qualify too. Even Scholes seems to have been received quite poorly since going into punditry.

 

[Chorley1974]

Danny Murphy is also rubbish

Another who can't resist his bias.

 

[BobbyManc]

Love this 'Small Talk' interview with him in the Guardian prior to the World Cup in 2010:


Alan. Larger than life. Cannot be tamed.

That's amazing

Apart from football paraphernalia, did you have a favourite toy when you were a child?

Now that you have retired, can you catch up on playing with the toys that you didn't play with when you were a youngster? Have you, for instance, discovered the joys of action men or maybe Lego?

Those two questions in particular.

 

[OnlyTwoDaSilvas]

That's amazing

Apart from football paraphernalia, did you have a favourite toy when you were a child?

Now that you have retired, can you catch up on playing with the toys that you didn't play with when you were a youngster? Have you, for instance, discovered the joys of action men or maybe Lego?

Those two questions in particular.

That whole bit, from the cartoons, to toys, and right to the vegetables is excellent.

It's the "Fine thanks" right from the off that gets me, as well as the "Assuming you have time to eat..."

The best part is that it's very easy to imagine Alan Shearer in this interview, getting flustered, and not knowing how to engage with any sort of humour.

 

[Theonas]

He's just incredibly boring. It seems to be something about a lot of English pundits in general who were good players, with Michael Owen being the prime example. Jamie Redknapp's just a bit rubbish as opposed to boring, but could probably qualify too. Even Scholes seems to have been received quite poorly since going into punditry.

Very true! Michael Owen in particular! Can you imagine grabbing a pint with Michael Owen and Rafa Benitez.

 

[criticalanalysis]

Tbh I find A LOT of commentators outside of Sky and BBC are really decent. They just happen to be lesser names/not ex-footballers/less heard of in England.

For example whenever I'm watching streams, the American channels (like NBC) seem to have good analysis and pundits (American and non). For America in particular, they make sports analysis as big as the actual event so they have plenty of experience and know-how in what to say and what to address etc.

Also the BT Sport European round up show etc.

 

[stepic]

Love this 'Small Talk' interview with him in the Guardian prior to the World Cup in 2010:


Alan. Larger than life. Cannot be tamed.

awesome. an example of someone being completely ambivalent to everything else in the world except the one thing theyre focusing on, in this case, football, in order to succeed at that one thing. and I don't even think it's done on purpose.

Most people in the world are too interested and curious about things to just kick a football around for hours every day or to never ponder about life after death or to never appreciate what a sense of humour is

 

[dogwithabone]

Murphy is OK and I think McManaman on BT is too and also Souness is one of the better senior pundits. By the way I can't stand Liverpool but these three do seem to have cone out the other side to make half decent pundits.

 

[sugar_kane]

Love this 'Small Talk' interview with him in the Guardian prior to the World Cup in 2010:


Alan. Larger than life. Cannot be tamed.

To be fair the interviewer seems like a right smug, annoying cnut.

 

[2 man midfield]

Love this 'Small Talk' interview with him in the Guardian prior to the World Cup in 2010:


Alan. Larger than life. Cannot be tamed.

"Assuming you have time to eat" made me lose it

 

[ThierryHenry]

Love this 'Small Talk' interview with him in the Guardian prior to the World Cup in 2010:


Alan. Larger than life. Cannot be tamed.

 

[Hoof the ball]

How did I miss this from the other day?! "Man Utd are f****k"

 

[vidic blood & sand]

Although I'm not a shearer fan, I enjoyed this on Youtube, Insightful. Didn't think it was worth a new thread.