Are we being duped by United? #DupeGate

SteveJ

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The following theory was initially posted by Caf newcomer @Malicecooper. Personally, I'm not one to believe in conspiracy theories *deletes entire post history* but perhaps, IMO, this one has the outlne of truth. That is, unless everyone calls it nuts, in which case I'll pretend I've never heard of it & will bung a pile of Dislikes on top of my sidekick ginormous noob nutjob Malicecooper. Here goes, folks:
Malicecooper said:
Are we being duped by Man Utd? The Conspiracy Theory

Watching Utd play this season has inspired a conspiracy theory in me.

Did Utd actually appoint a new manager?. toward then end of last season and in the closed season there were two positions that had to be filled. The director of football and the manager. Ole was given the manager position and no one was appointed as director of football.

Or were they?

Ole is manager but actually he is showing all the requirements for the Director of football role and he is managing the team like a director of football would priorities and plan. He is actually not acting like a manager at all. This is where my conspiracy theory is.

Is Ole really the manager of Man Utd or is he only manager by title when he is actually the new director of football still acting as the interim manager?. The reality is that there were no managers that fit the Utd bill going forward available. I think that Utd want Poch but could not get him due to Spurs going so far in the CL and his contract with Spurs.

And now, suddenly a few games in Poch is destabilising himself at Spurs because his attention is elsewhere, well, Utd really. After last season Poch should have been untouchable this season and planning on improving his Spurs squad, yet none of this has happened.

So, my conspiracy theory is this. Ole is interim manager but will take his true post as director of football one an experienced manager is available that fits Utd's way forward. I believe Utd are waiting for Poch to be released or available from Spurs so they can then rejig and solidify the footballing business of the club. Ole has brought three players in, but to be fare these were no brainers and would actually be attractive to any manager coming into Utd.

Also notice that Ole cleaned out some of the weight but did not replace their vacated positions, all of which were key areas. I think this is because they want to keep this positions open as long as possible so the new long term manager can choose.

Otherwise what is happening at Utd right now really does not make any sense.

There, now i need to prepare for the CIA dropping through my ceiling and whisking me away to Guantanamo for whistle blowing.
 

diarm

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What would be the upside of keeping this such a big secret?

Why announce Solskjaer as the manager and look to pull the wool over everyones eyes? It would be easier and less disruptive all round simply to say Solskjaer will be taking over as DoF but in the interim, will oversee the managers role until a suitable coach can be identified and recruited.
 

Bastian

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A less benign one:

Ole was hired because he would not dream of rocking the boat. He was told he'd be backed. He wasn't. And he still sat there all smiles. Like they knew he would.
 

Eric7C

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"The reality is that there were no managers that fit the Utd bill going forward available."

I think this is the new there's no value in the market..
 

bludsucker

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Come now steve. Didn’t peg you as part of the tin foil brigade. That is some outlandish theory.
 

SteveJ

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Come now steve. Didn’t peg you as part of the tin foil brigade. That is some outlandish theory.
I've a sad history of conspiracy theory posts, mate. Normally, though, these involve the fact that Khloe Kardashian is Jack the Ripper and Lord Lucan.

To be honest, I have actually wondered if Phelan's effectively the boss & that Ole is the 'public face'.
 

JPRouve

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I've a sad history of conspiracy theory posts, mate. Normally, though, these involve the fact that Khloe Kardashian is Jack the Ripper and Lord Lucan.

To be honest, I have actually wondered if Phelan's effectively the boss & that Ole is the 'public face'.
Now that you say it, all our players wear shorts during games.
 

devilish

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An EPL manager need to be very astute to discover AWB and Maguire
 

Rhyme Animal

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Nonchalantly scoring the winner...
I have a better one -

Ole isn't Ole at all...

The real Ole is in storage at Molde Headquarters, and the manager we think is Ole, is actually a middle class Mancunian Granny - hence the hair / accent / look / managerial skills etc.

Woodward was forced into putting the granny in charge after losing a game of poker with Rooney, and Rooney daring him to 'take my Love of grannies even further'...

When Rooney returns to England (around January) the dare is complete, and the Granny will be released back into the wild and a proper manager put in place.

Meanwhile, the real Ole will be freed from storage in Molde and allowed to thaw out before resuming his real managerial career.
 

SteveJ

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Now that you say it, all our players wear shorts during games.
Hiding in plain shorts sight, mate. And let's face it, we've had plenty of hidings recently.
 

Idxomer

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The more plausible theory is that Woodward is the true director of football and he's the one mainly responsible for reducing the wage bill masquerading it as clearing the deadwood.

He just gave us a familiar a likable man to present us all that.

And yes this man is probably not responsible for much related to managing or coaching the team, he even hinted at that before. So, like the post above Ole is just a face for the fans and the media which is really a bit disastrous.
 

hobbers

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Ole has even less experience in a directorial role (ie none) than he does manager.

The idea of an ex player with no experience in the game being made DOF (be that Ole, Fletcher, Rio, Evra, whoever else) is asinine as feck. Especially when you then expect a top upcoming manager like Poch or Tuchel to come and answer to them.
 

acnumber9

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A less benign one:

Ole was hired because he would not dream of rocking the boat. He was told he'd be backed. He wasn't. And he still sat there all smiles. Like they knew he would.
Yep. That’s exactly what the board wanted after Mourinho. Meanwhile all the attention will fall on the patsy.
 

DavidDeSchmikes

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After the Newcastle game, there is a 2 week period until our next game. Plenty of time to snatch hire Pochettino.
 

horsechoker

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But what if what we're being shown on TV is all a mirage and we're actually champions but the Sheiks who own Man City are paying the media to edit the footage to make us look bad?
 

SteveJ

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But what if what we're being shown on TV is all a mirage and we're actually champions but the Sheiks who own Man City are paying the media to edit the footage to make us look bad?
Yes! It's just like that fake hospital/news broadcast scene in Mission Impossible: Dandruff!
 

UnitedChampionsAgain

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I hope Alex isn't managing again and this is the best he can get out of this shambling squad. He's been seen on the training ground a few times.
 
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SteveJ

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What the feck is this? Is this how far we as fans have fallen?
:lol:

Hey, don't blame me - I'm just the, er, one to blame.

I'll see myself out.
 

bludsucker

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I've a sad history of conspiracy theory posts, mate. Normally, though, these involve the fact that Khloe Kardashian is Jack the Ripper and Lord Lucan.

To be honest, I have actually wondered if Phelan's effectively the boss & that Ole is the 'public face'.
Is that you rafa.
 
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Denis79

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I've a sad history of conspiracy theory posts, mate. Normally, though, these involve the fact that Khloe Kardashian is Jack the Ripper and Lord Lucan.

To be honest, I have actually wondered if Phelan's effectively the boss & that Ole is the 'public face'.
Small part somewhere in me believes that. Cat is out of the bag, we're a comedy.
 

Finn MacCool

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It was Ole on the grassy knoll, acting on the orders of Lord Lucan. When his work is done he’ll ride off into the sunset on the back of Shergar - to the theme tune of “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly”.