Best names in Football

Mister_Stubbs

New Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
9,634
Location
6th
Don't Chelsea have a youth player called Naughty Naughty? Spelt differently though I believe.

Paul Dickov despite being a wanker was always a particular amusing name.
 

RoyoftheRavers

Full Member
Joined
Dec 20, 2010
Messages
436
Location
3101
Paulo Sousa
Marco Van Basten
Hristo Stoichkov
Franco Baresi
Filippo Inzaghi
Eden Hazard

All great football names that immediately command respect. They almost seem manufactured to perfection (like Ximenes, Miranda and Castello from Pro Evo back in the day).

For me, United names have too much familiarity to be associated with the wider football world.
 

montpelier

Full Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
10,637
It's completely wrong to laugh at this but the joint leading scorers in the 1985 Albanian Superliga were Fakja & Minga
 

Maagge

enjoys sex, doesn't enjoy women not into ONS
Joined
Oct 9, 2011
Messages
11,927
Location
Denmark
Don't Chelsea have a youth player called Naughty Naughty? Spelt differently though I believe.

Paul Dickov despite being a wanker was always a particular amusing name.
Nortei Nortey or the other way around. He was posted in this thread earlier.
 

Tomuś

Nani is crap, I tell you!
Joined
Oct 17, 2011
Messages
6,177
Location
Świdnik
Jacek Bąk

of Poland. 96 caps

pronounced as Bonk
In what twisted universe is it pronounced as [bonk] ? That said I've played against him.

EDIT: Just seen your username and I guess it's how they pronounced him when he was at Lens and Lyon. It's wrong, though.
 

montpelier

Full Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
10,637
In what twisted universe is it pronounced as [bonk] ? That said I've played against him.

EDIT: Just seen your username and I guess it's how they pronounced him when he was at Lens and Lyon. It's wrong, though.
I'm English, I only vaguely remembered him for the purposes of this thread. (our commentators definitely pronounced it like what I've pathetically described)

If you've played against him you must have been pretty handy, Mr Bak was useful from what I recall.
 

ivaldo

Mediocre Horse Whisperer, s'up wid chew?
Joined
Nov 15, 2012
Messages
28,699
Anil Koc has a pretty terrific name.
 

Tomuś

Nani is crap, I tell you!
Joined
Oct 17, 2011
Messages
6,177
Location
Świdnik
I'm English, I only vaguely remembered him for the purposes of this thread. (our commentators definitely pronounced it like what I've pathetically described)

If you've played against him you must have been pretty handy, Mr Bak was useful from what I recall.
I wish mate :( I only played him in local futsal league (as he comes from Lublin which is located 10 miles from my hometown) when he was already a couple of years into his retirement and I was already resigned that I'd not make it as a 11 vs 11 full pro. He was pretty decent back in the day, there were strong rumours of Liverpool (and one or two whispers Fergie could be interested) getting him from Lens. When i think about it I actually did face some big names of Poland NT ex internationals without making any sort of career for mysef.

EDIT: and his name is actually pretty funny as it translates not only to horsefly but also to a 'fart' colloquially. He is lucky he wasn't a winger or else Polish commentators would use punts like '(insert name) releases Bąk on the right/left hand side' more often.
 
Last edited:

Lay

Correctly predicted Italy to win Euro 2020
Joined
Jan 29, 2013
Messages
19,788
Location
England
Forgot if mentioned but there's a Belgian defender (I think) called Mark De Man.
 

montpelier

Full Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
10,637
rumours of Liverpool (and one or two whispers Fergie could be interested) getting him from Lens
ah yes, thank you, I remember that, now you say.

England played Poland a few times around that late 80s / early 90s is it? And Rangers too, is it? that I might remember playing Bak's Polish club team?
 
Last edited:

Tomuś

Nani is crap, I tell you!
Joined
Oct 17, 2011
Messages
6,177
Location
Świdnik
ah yes, thank you, I remember that, now you say.

England played Poland a few times around that late 80s / early 90s is it? And Rangers too, is it? that I might remember playing Bak's Polish club team?
I don't think so, no. Bąk played in his beloved Motor Lublin up to early 90s and they are shit (thankfully). You couln't see him playing for Motor in european tournaments of some sorts for a start. Also, he had not been capped back then yet. He got his debut in 1993 and we played you that year but I can't recall if he played. He faced England three times in late 90s/early 2000's, though.

He got 13 games in UCL proper I read so you could also notice him there, playing for Lens and Lyon. A good player overall I must say, wasn't United quality but to get 200 apps for strong Lens and Lyon sides combined is not a bad feat. 96 apps for Poland as well.
 

Big Ben Foster

Correctly predicted Portugal to win Euro 2016
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
12,454
Location
BR -> MI -> TX
Supports
Also support Vasco da Gama
Forgot if mentioned but there's a Belgian defender (I think) called Mark De Man.
Almost forgot about him- I'm a big fan of his teammates, goalkeeper Bloek De Schott and striker Skor De Gaulle.
 

JamesB__

Full Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2014
Messages
3,512
Supports
Stoke City
This thread just proves English names are boring.
 

montpelier

Full Member
Joined
Oct 24, 2011
Messages
10,637
I don't think so, no. Bąk played in his beloved Motor Lublin up to early 90s and they are shit (thankfully). You couln't see him playing for Motor in european tournaments of some sorts for a start. Also, he had not been capped back then yet. He got his debut in 1993 and we played you that year but I can't recall if he played. He faced England three times in late 90s/early 2000's, though.

He got 13 games in UCL proper I read so you could also notice him there, playing for Lens and Lyon. A good player overall I must say, wasn't United quality but to get 200 apps for strong Lens and Lyon sides combined is not a bad feat. 96 apps for Poland as well.
OK, apart from placing him in the wrong decade, at/near the wrong club/s, and offering the wrong pronunciation of his name to begin with , that went quite well for me, :D. I would also have to confess to not having heard of (beloved / shit thankfully, :)) Motor Lublin so it can't have been them I was mis-remembering, either.

But yes, I tentatively think that 96 caps was a pretty decent effort by the man.
 

Lay

Correctly predicted Italy to win Euro 2020
Joined
Jan 29, 2013
Messages
19,788
Location
England
John Lennon is a good one. Think he's a full back in Brazil.

Also a Brazilian footballer called Michel Platini.

Can't wait for Brazilian Phil Jones
 

Maagge

enjoys sex, doesn't enjoy women not into ONS
Joined
Oct 9, 2011
Messages
11,927
Location
Denmark
The Danish footballer formerly known as Kristian Bak Nielsen married someone so is now called Kristian Bach Bak (same pronunciation). He plays right back (which in Danish is also pronounced as the other two).
 
Last edited:

Sied

I..erm..love U2, baby?
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
10,323
The Danish footballer formerly known as Kristian Bak Nielsen married someone so is now called Kristian Bach Bak (same pronunciation). He plays right back.
Why did his name change when he got married?
 

krazyrobus

Full Member
Joined
Mar 23, 2007
Messages
4,741
I submit 2 names, 1 old 1 new.

New - Anthony Martial

Old - Fabio Quagliarella
 

Maagge

enjoys sex, doesn't enjoy women not into ONS
Joined
Oct 9, 2011
Messages
11,927
Location
Denmark
Never heard of that before. I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship.
Traditionally women here were expected to take their husband's name. These days it basically comes down to preference.
 

Jerch

Full Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
3,652
Location
Slovenia
I don't know if anyone said already;
Jesus Navas - always signed him in fifa because of his name.

Edit: add
Luke Shaw
Matteo Darmian
Thierry Henry
 

Pagh Wraith

Full Member
Joined
May 2, 2011
Messages
4,361
Location
Germany
The thread about team names is even older so I'm using this one.

Kurva Nord is currently in action in some Belarusian amateur league. That's quite a clever name for a Slavic team. :lol:
 
Last edited:

MrEleson

Full Member
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Messages
2,523
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang
Leroy Sané #insané
Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink
Jean Pierre Papin
Bas Dost