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BREAKING NEWS: Its just after 7pm on Monday 1st September and both Bayindir and Onana are celebrating signing for new clubs.
 
Onana: ‘They’re starting to call me Jesus!’
Bayindir: ‘That’s great. Is it because you’re going to save the season?’
Onana: ‘No, they say it’s because I have holes in my hands.’
 
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Agent calls Onana, “You’re going to Trabsonspor.”
Onana, “Say again, I didn’t catch that.”