Ed Woodward and the easiest job in the world

TwoSheds

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His seasonal to do list looks as follows pretty much every year.

June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players
July - sign decent but underwhelming player, maybe a couple of youth players.
Brief press that we only want the right players.
August - panic and overpay for a couple of good players, argue with manager / coaching staff, brief press that you haven't argued with manager / coaching staff. Investor call.
September - sign new Vietnamese nappy sponsorship
October - do nothing
November - investor call, everything is wonderful, we definitely won't feck up any more transfers, manager's job is safe
December - keep head down while manager mentions new signings
January - don't sign anybody, brief press that it's a difficult time of year
February - investor call, poor season is bad luck plus someone/thing else's fault, next year will be better, more tractor sponsorships incoming
March - brief press that we've got all our ducks in a row for next season, strategy planned months in advance, new transfer system
April - do nothing, occasionally reassure press that someone's job is safe
May - investor call to explain disappointing financial results, possibly sack manager, new kit announced
June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players

@joelglazer I reckon I could do a cracking job of the above and I'll take half the salary, hit me up on LinkedIn please.
 

Pexbo

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Specifically what are we to talk about in this thread?
 

TwoSheds

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Well you could endorse my candidacy you ungrateful whelp. Or just write down your shopping list, I don't give a feck. See, I'm ready for the top already. :cool:
 

Annihilate Now!

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I say it all the time, but anyone would kill to have the job security of Woodward.

There is nobody in the world that is so ridiculously bad at at least half of their job and still has the comfort in the role that he has.

It's extraordinary really.... a modern marvel of our times.
 

simonhch

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His seasonal to do list looks as follows pretty much every year.

June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players
July - sign decent but underwhelming player, maybe a couple of youth players.
Brief press that we only want the right players.
August - panic and overpay for a couple of good players, argue with manager / coaching staff, brief press that you haven't argued with manager / coaching staff. Investor call.
September - sign new Vietnamese nappy sponsorship
October - do nothing
November - investor call, everything is wonderful, we definitely won't feck up any more transfers, manager's job is safe
December - keep head down while manager mentions new signings
January - don't sign anybody, brief press that it's a difficult time of year
February - investor call, poor season is bad luck plus someone/thing else's fault, next year will be better, more tractor sponsorships incoming
March - brief press that we've got all our ducks in a row for next season, strategy planned months in advance, new transfer system
April - do nothing, occasionally reassure press that someone's job is safe
May - investor call to explain disappointing financial results, possibly sack manager, new kit announced
June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players

@joelglazer I reckon I could do a cracking job of the above and I'll take half the salary, hit me up on LinkedIn please.
I would go as far as to say that that EW is the worst thing to happen to the club after the Glazers, in the modern era; but even then I’d have to acknowledge that a CEOs workload is extraordinarily high. Even a crap one’s. So unless your post is tongue in cheek, we have to accept that your analysis is about as accurate Stevie Wonder playing darts. That said, I’d be willing to endorse you having a shot at the role over dear old Ed.
 

montpelier

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I would go as far as to say that that EW is the worst thing to happen to the club after the Glazers, in the modern era; but even then I’d have to acknowledge that a CEOs workload is extraordinarily high. Even a crap one’s. So unless your post is tongue in cheek, we have to accept that your analysis is about as accurate Stevie Wonder playing darts. That said, I’d be willing to endorse you having a shot at the role over dear old Ed.
Looks worryingly close to me.
 

TwoSheds

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I would go as far as to say that that EW is the worst thing to happen to the club after the Glazers, in the modern era; but even then I’d have to acknowledge that a CEOs workload is extraordinarily high. Even a crap one’s. So unless your post is tongue in cheek, we have to accept that your analysis is about as accurate Stevie Wonder playing darts. That said, I’d be willing to endorse you having a shot at the role over dear old Ed.
I feel like if you're a good CEO you have a clear structure in mind with clear responsibilities, you hire good people that you trust, and you delegate enough that you're not overstretched. You should have time to wander round your business and ask people what's going on or you're doing it wrong IMO.
 

Annihilate Now!

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I would go as far as to say that that EW is the worst thing to happen to the club after the Glazers, in the modern era; but even then I’d have to acknowledge that a CEOs workload is extraordinarily high. Even a crap one’s. So unless your post is tongue in cheek, we have to accept that your analysis is about as accurate Stevie Wonder playing darts. That said, I’d be willing to endorse you having a shot at the role over dear old Ed.
I'd say he's the worst thing to happen at the club period.

I think even under the Glazers, a semi-competent CEO would still be able to enjoy success.
 

SweetRightFoot

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'decisions at the top are made by football men...

like me, investment banker Ed Woodward and my friend Matt Judge the solicitor'
 

Lentwood

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Ed Woodward is 90% of the reason we're in such a mess. As bad as the Glazers are, they have 'invested' or sanctioned the spend of £900m on transfers since 2014.

Under any half-competent management team we should at least have been a steady top-four side over the last few seasons. To now be sat in 5th with a first team regularly featuring the likes of Lingard, Mata, Pereira, Fred, Matic, Lindelof and a bunch of teenagers is bordering on the criminally negligent
 

simonhch

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I feel like if you're a good CEO you have a clear structure in mind with clear responsibilities, you hire good people that you trust, and you delegate enough that you're not overstretched. You should have time to wander round your business and ask people what's going on or you're doing it wrong IMO.

:lol:
 

FreakyJim

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Just say Glazers out. Flush them out and the turd Woodward goes with them, simple as.
 

TwoSheds

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A CEO works at a strategic level, and you are not doing less than 80 hours a week. The demands are just just great. Even if you have the best team in the world.
The board work at a strategic level too. Everything is a choice. Of course I can see how it would be appealing to do more work yourself because everyone else is probably useless and of course the bigger the company you run, the more sites, the more divisions etc I can see how it could be necessary to do 80h+ but Manchester United is one business on a handful of sites and then so much fluff. If Woody is doing 80h it's because he's a moron.
 

simonhch

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The board work at a strategic level too. Everything is a choice. Of course I can see how it would be appealing to do more work yourself because everyone else is probably useless and of course the bigger the company you run, the more sites, the more divisions etc I can see how it could be necessary to do 80h+ but Manchester United is one business on a handful of sites and then so much fluff. If Woody is doing 80h it's because he's a moron.
Sorry mate, I know and have had access to a number of top CEOs, and you couldn’t be more wrong in terms of the workload.
 

Lee565

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You left out scowling in the stands when when we are having one of our now regular awful performances as if none of the mess is his doing for being out his depth.

Quite frankly everyone has it easy at the club.

The glazers face sod all backlash for milking the club for as much as possible.

Woodward for being completely incompetent with the football side of things but has no need to worry because glazers aren't bothered all the time the club is making them vast amounts of money.

Solskjear for being way out of his depth but is afforded lower standards than previous managers because he has a 4 year 'plan, throws youth players in the team in the side and says buzz words like passion , club DNA etc.. in the media along with being a nice, smiley United legend with a-team mates in the media protecting him.

The players for being able to put in average performances and getting lengthy contract extensions on twice the wages that actual top performing players for clubs challenging for major trophies get.

The only ones that have it hard is the non-deluded United that ain't fooled into thinking we are on the path to getting back to the top with our current 3/4 year plan.
 

TwoSheds

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Sorry mate, I know and have had access to a number of top CEOs, and you couldn’t be more wrong in terms of the workload.
I don't doubt you all believe it. I've known many CEOs and the most "present" ones weren't the best ones by any stretch. Albeit Danaher's CEO rightly had a ludicrous workload due to the number of different boards reporting into him.
 

Crustanoid

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You forget to mention his biannual holiday in January and June-August
 

Louis Van Gonads

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Woodward definitely gets way too much credit for doing sponsorship deals. Not difficult at a club like Man Utd.
 

M Bison

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The board work at a strategic level too. Everything is a choice. Of course I can see how it would be appealing to do more work yourself because everyone else is probably useless and of course the bigger the company you run, the more sites, the more divisions etc I can see how it could be necessary to do 80h+ but Manchester United is one business on a handful of sites and then so much fluff. If Woody is doing 80h it's because he's a moron.
Are you seriously suggesting Woodward has an easy job? I'd bet my mortgage he works a huge number of hours, whether its 80, who knows but most C level exec's work 60+ hours a week
 

Big Ben Foster

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I'd say he's the worst thing to happen at the club period.

I think even under the Glazers, a semi-competent CEO would still be able to enjoy success.
I can think of at least one thing that's happened to the club that was worse.

That said, Woodward out
 

RedIan

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Woodwards job is not easy, i dont for one minute think it is, i bet he has loads of sleepless nights... hes just not the right guy to head a top football club.

Slightly off topic but I remember When we were pretty crap in the 70,s and 80,s and everyone called for martin Edwards head then, he was hated, there was no social media to rant on so it was all chants and banners in the ground.
I wonder If social media cushions the hatred in the ground. Maybe Woodward has no idea how unpopular he is And why ! Just stay clear of the internet.
 

TwoSheds

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Are you seriously suggesting Woodward has an easy job? I'd bet my mortgage he works a huge number of hours, whether its 80, who knows but most C level exec's work 60+ hours a week
No I'm suggesting his job would be easy if he wasn't so shit at it because his bosses seemingly accept complete mediocrity without question.

I'm sure he does work long hours but I question how much he does that's actually useful, given his job is ostensibly to determine strategy and he comes across as a man who could lose at chess to a German shepherd.
 

Dr. Dwayne

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I can think of at least one thing that's happened to the club that was worse.

That said, Woodward out
Munich and relegation were definitely worse than Woodward as CEO.

That said, we as supporters shouldn't be talking about the CEO, which shows how bad he is at the football side of things.
 

simonhch

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I don't doubt you all believe it. I've known many CEOs and the most "present" ones weren't the best ones by any stretch. Albeit Danaher's CEO rightly had a ludicrous workload due to the number of different boards reporting into him.
I really can’t go into details but I’ve had access to a few of the top CEOs in the world. Household names. Albeit briefly, and the insight I gleaned was mind boggling. I’ve been in an around the top echelons of business for the past decade both from SMEs to NMEs, and all the most successful people have one thing in common; an unbelievable work ethic and stamina, married to exceptionally high quality of output. All of the top people in business pull preposterously long hours. You just don’t make it to the top and survive at the top if you don’t. Not in a merit based environment.
 

DixieDean

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In England, people like Woodward do have it easy. Far too easy. Why are they not held accountable for consistent failures?

In countries with a different (better) football culture, the fans would do *something* to get rid of useless clowns like Woodward or your current manager. Where are the protests? Where are the empty stadiums? Why do people keep turning up? It's an attitude like this, and by no means, it's not just a Man Utd issue, why people like the Glazer's have leached off your club for a decade-plus.
 

sunama

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:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Yeah dead easy to land sponsorship deals - fecking hell, this forum is hilarious at times!
When you have one of the biggest brands in the World, with millions of eyes per match, watching games - then yes, it is easy to sell sponsorship.
In sales, when you have a great product (or advertising) which people are queuing up to buy - the sales job is easy.
When you have a product which isn't so great, well known or people don't want to buy - the sales job is tough.

It's a lot easier to sell sponsorship for MUFC, than say Rochdale.
If a potential sponsor is reluctant to up his bid, I'd simply tell him that if he does not up his bid, I will have to let the sponsorship go to another company who is willing to pay up. And at MUFC, there will be plenty of companies wanting to pay up.
I cannot use the same tactic had I been selling sponsorship for a lesser known club, like Rochdale.

Let's delve deeper to see how EW is doing on the commercial side (revenues):



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deloitte_Football_Money_League#2019

Notice that
- MUFC has dropped 2 places, in the 12 months.
- LFC is on the rise.
- how far ahead Real Madrid are.

I realise that some people make out that EW is some sort of commercial master, but given the size of the brand, he really isn't. He is decent, not great.
When you consider how bad he is as a DoF and the fact that we are on a downward trend (2020 will be disastrous as Ole is performing badly), the guy should be fired, before he drags the club down further.

From top to bottom, we have people performing badly in their roles.
 

Bilbo

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His seasonal to do list looks as follows pretty much every year.

June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players
July - sign decent but underwhelming player, maybe a couple of youth players.
Brief press that we only want the right players.
August - panic and overpay for a couple of good players, argue with manager / coaching staff, brief press that you haven't argued with manager / coaching staff. Investor call.
September - sign new Vietnamese nappy sponsorship
October - do nothing
November - investor call, everything is wonderful, we definitely won't feck up any more transfers, manager's job is safe
December - keep head down while manager mentions new signings
January - don't sign anybody, brief press that it's a difficult time of year
February - investor call, poor season is bad luck plus someone/thing else's fault, next year will be better, more tractor sponsorships incoming
March - brief press that we've got all our ducks in a row for next season, strategy planned months in advance, new transfer system
April - do nothing, occasionally reassure press that someone's job is safe
May - investor call to explain disappointing financial results, possibly sack manager, new kit announced
June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players

@joelglazer I reckon I could do a cracking job of the above and I'll take half the salary, hit me up on LinkedIn please.
Well worth the time it took you to write this. Another negative thread is just what the forum needs.
 

noodlehair

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What I still don't get about Woodward is how he wasn't sacked after the transfer window in Moyes's first season?

I mean, he literally managed to pay £4m OVER the release clause of a player to sign them, for no other reason than to sign them 2 months later than he should have.

Imagine if you cost your employer £4m by spending 2 months avoiding doing your work and briefing everyone that it was a plan to save money.

The problem is he set the bar too high for himself there. Once the most useless you can possibly be is still good enough, basically whatever you decide is the right thing to do, is the right thing to do.
 

GiddyUp

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His seasonal to do list looks as follows pretty much every year.

June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players
July - sign decent but underwhelming player, maybe a couple of youth players.
Brief press that we only want the right players.
August - panic and overpay for a couple of good players, argue with manager / coaching staff, brief press that you haven't argued with manager / coaching staff. Investor call.
September - sign new Vietnamese nappy sponsorship
October - do nothing
November - investor call, everything is wonderful, we definitely won't feck up any more transfers, manager's job is safe
December - keep head down while manager mentions new signings
January - don't sign anybody, brief press that it's a difficult time of year
February - investor call, poor season is bad luck plus someone/thing else's fault, next year will be better, more tractor sponsorships incoming
March - brief press that we've got all our ducks in a row for next season, strategy planned months in advance, new transfer system
April - do nothing, occasionally reassure press that someone's job is safe
May - investor call to explain disappointing financial results, possibly sack manager, new kit announced
June - brief press with some bollocks about biggest club in the world, structural changes, new strategy, going to sign players

@joelglazer I reckon I could do a cracking job of the above and I'll take half the salary, hit me up on LinkedIn please.
You left out pointing, he likes to do a lot of pointing.
 

GiddyUp

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What I still don't get about Woodward is how he wasn't sacked after the transfer window in Moyes's first season?

I mean, he literally managed to pay £4m OVER the release clause of a player to sign them, for no other reason than to sign them 2 months later than he should have.

Imagine if you cost your employer £4m by spending 2 months avoiding doing your work and briefing everyone that it was a plan to save money.

The problem is he set the bar too high for himself there. Once the most useless you can possibly be is still good enough, basically whatever you decide is the right thing to do, is the right thing to do.
Same on Maguire. Told us we had just as good already then proceeds to sign him for probably a few mil more the following summer. Of those options he said were just as good, one can't jump, the other is on loan and he's arguing with shite one in the stand.
 

Rood

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I'd say he's the worst thing to happen at the club period.

I think even under the Glazers, a semi-competent CEO would still be able to enjoy success.
Yep but share price is up and we will probably sign an all time record shirt deal so its all good, right? :wenger::wenger:
 

BR7

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I feel like if you're a good CEO you have a clear structure in mind with clear responsibilities, you hire good people that you trust, and you delegate enough that you're not overstretched. You should have time to wander round your business and ask people what's going on or you're doing it wrong IMO.
The laissez faire approach? I got the feeling this is what’s happening at the club already...... sounds like you’re ready though, heck ..... Woodward out, two sheds in ... when you get the job can I pick the team please?

I think Woodward is a good money earner, we should keep him to run the financial side but jeez get him away from the football side of the club immediately.

Two sheds two sheds....... seriously can I pick the team?
 

Nou_Camp99

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I don't want him to be just sacked. He should be arrested for Fraud. The prick.