Football phrases that grinds your gears

Gio

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This annoys me too.
It's like two deeper lying midfielders are a brand new concept never seen before Pep et al.
A double pivot is just two deeper lying midfielders and has been around for decades, I swear without ever being called a double pivot until Pep came along.
I think the phrase came in just before Pep, roughly around when everyone started playing 4-2-3-1 in the mid-2000s, and was often used to describe how the likes of Benitez and Mourinho would set up in that formation.

But aye, I'm not a massive fan of positions getting renamed, as part of a tactical analysis subculture, when there are perfectly fine terms already in use.
 
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stevoc

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And Solskjær has won it!
Because I heard it again very recently, I will repost my post in here from 10.2019...

‘Saved by the post / crossbar / woodwork...’

The woodwork never saves a GK or a team, it doesn’t keep the ball out. If there were no posts & a ball went over the location where the post would be, it’s just a goal kick. Same thing with an imaginary crossbar (harder to imagine & recreate, though).

Remove them & shots that cross those intersection points are just goal kicks.
Or ''He beat the keeper but couldn't beat the post''. How do they know?

If it had actually been on target the keeper might have saved it.
 

Kopral Jono

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'The Gerrards and Lampards of this world...' and other 'of this world' phrases.

This has probably been mentioned somewhere in this thread but it's by far the worst.
 

OnlyTwoDaSilvas

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Uneccesary pluralusation of something that is a single entity....

"Man Utd need to be careful about the teams on their tail... Your Leicesters, Liverpools and Chelseas".

Just say Leicester, Liverpool and Chelsea.
The pluralisation is often followed by "of this world" which makes it even more bizarre. I've never heard it said outside of a football context.

"Your Leicesters of this world".

What?! There are other Leicesters, and potentially other worlds?
 

The holy trinity 68

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The pluralisation is often followed by "of this world" which makes it even more bizarre. I've never heard it said outside of a football context.

"Your Leicesters of this world".

What?! There are other Leicesters, and potentially other worlds?
Yeah that is a possibility, have you not heard about the multi-verse theory?
 

K Stand Knut

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The pluralisation is often followed by "of this world" which makes it even more bizarre. I've never heard it said outside of a football context.

"Your Leicesters of this world".

What?! There are other Leicesters, and potentially other worlds?
I don’t mean to be pedantic but you don’t really believe that there is only one Leicester in the world, do you?
 

bsCallout

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Because I heard it again very recently, I will repost my post in here from 10.2019...

‘Saved by the post / crossbar / woodwork...’

The woodwork never saves a GK or a team, it doesn’t keep the ball out. If there were no posts & a ball went over the location where the post would be, it’s just a goal kick. Same thing with an imaginary crossbar (harder to imagine & recreate, though).

Remove them & shots that cross those intersection points are just goal kicks.
If the post wasn't there and a shot was heading across goal, but the post stops it, surely it would have been a goal without the post there?
 

BusbyMalone

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"If [insert players name here] did this we'd be talking about it for weeks"

Feck. Off.
 

Noot

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"Good little cameo" to describe a player coming off the bench in the 60th minute and getting a goal. A cameo is a couple of minutes, what you're referring to is a substitute appearance.
 

calodo2003

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If the post wasn't there and a shot was heading across goal, but the post stops it, surely it would have been a goal without the post there?
It would be a goal kick / corner kick if deflected. The entire ball has to pass inside / under the posts / crossbar. Take the posts away, the ball would travel over that point, not passing inside of it. The goal mouth wouldn’t suddenly gain those five-ish inches in size if the posts were removed.
 

bsCallout

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It would be a goal kick / corner kick if deflected. The entire ball has to pass inside / under the posts / crossbar. Take the posts away, the ball would travel over that point, not passing inside of it. The goal mouth wouldn’t suddenly gain those five-ish inches in size if the posts were removed.
If the angle was right though i.e. shooting across goal and there was not post it would pass on the line into the goal net. The post are on the line not behind it aren't they?
 

VorZakone

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“He’s done well since he’s come on”

Thanks for the clarification, I thought you meant he was playing well whilst sat in the stands.
I feel you, but perhaps it's to clarify for viewers who didn't see the player being subbed in. :lol:
 

calodo2003

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If the angle was right though i.e. shooting across goal and there was not post it would pass on the line into the goal net. The post are on the line not behind it aren't they?
If you took the posts away, the goal mouth wouldn’t then enlarge to encompass those inches that the post occupies. There still is a defined edge to the goal mouth. If the ball passes over that point & any part of the ball crosses over that point where the goal mouth ends, the entire ball didn’t pass completely inside of the post & over the goal line. If every part of the ball is not completely inside of that point as the ball crosses over it, by rule it would not be a goal.

There will always be a ‘post’ even if it is just a very thin line demarcating the end of the goal mouth. If a ball even has a millimeter over it as it crosses that intersection point & under the ‘crossbar,’ it ain’t a goal.

This is obviously a scenario that will never occur in real life, but it’s just an incorrect statement when overly excited announcers or players bleat that ‘the post saved them.’
 

calodo2003

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‘A goal would come in very handy.’

When is a goal ever a burden or a poor result?
 

OnlyTwoDaSilvas

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I don’t mean to be pedantic but you don’t really believe that there is only one Leicester in the world, do you?
Ha, no, of course not. But the way its pluralised isn't to aggregate all the different places called Leicester in the world.

If it was a Geographical statement, it would make sense. Though I cant imagine when you'd talk about all the Leicesters at the same time.
 

meamth

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"Luke Shaw is fat"

"AWB is bambi on ice"

"Maguire is poor on the ball"

That grind my gears as I'm questioning their knowledge about football. How stupid can they be?
 

tomaldinho1

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The pluralisation is often followed by "of this world" which makes it even more bizarre. I've never heard it said outside of a football context.

"Your Leicesters of this world".

What?! There are other Leicesters, and potentially other worlds?
I've heard it in different context but I have no idea if it's grammatically correct or if it's just a habit that's caught on. In the example it's likely because of 'your' followed by a list of places but I'm a native English speaker and I have no idea if it's a rule and it seems wrong the more I think about it. Having said that you could also hear things like: 'the Barack Obamas and Donald Trumps of the world' where it would sound very weird without an 's' even though everyone knows you are referring to one specific person.
 

tomaldinho1

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"Luke Shaw is fat"

"AWB is bambi on ice"

"Maguire is poor on the ball"

That grind my gears as I'm questioning their knowledge about football. How stupid can they be?
The last one is surely ok as it's just an opinion though?
The AWB one makes zero sense, that would imply he literally cannot stand up without falling over and Shaw is not fat, he thicc.
 

EngimaMK

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I've heard it in different context but I have no idea if it's grammatically correct or if it's just a habit that's caught on. In the example it's likely because of 'your' followed by a list of places but I'm a native English speaker and I have no idea if it's a rule and it seems wrong the more I think about it. Having said that you could also hear things like: 'the Barack Obamas and Donald Trumps of the world' where it would sound very weird without an 's' even though everyone knows you are referring to one specific person.
Just say "Barack Obama and Donald Trump". Why pluralise in the first place? Then you don't need to add the, frankly ludicrous, "of the world".
 

Inigo Montoya

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Great feet for a big man!

Didn’t realise that tall players were devoid of skill
 

tomaldinho1

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Just say "Barack Obama and Donald Trump". Why pluralise in the first place? Then you don't need to add the, frankly ludicrous, "of the world".
A question for the grammatical experts! As said, have seen it before and that was just a random example - there must be a reason for it but I've no idea what that reason is.
 

Isotope

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"Excellent shot by Rashford!" When the ball was flying above the bar at high speed. If it's not even on target within the 2.4m x 7.3m area, that is NOT an excellent shot.
 

roonster09

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"Won't win with player x in the team" such a nonsense phrase and it's becoming too common now in forums. Makes 0 sense.
 

bazza3727

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"He's got that in his locker" - usually when someone's just fecked up a shot! Also don't like this trend of some commentators telling us how a guy scored/was on the winning side sometime previously (in another life), when playing against United. It doesn't matter, that was then - this is now and it has no bearing on the current game!
 

horsechoker

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Whenever non-Spanish speakers say "Barthelona"
Oh god I hate this. Just say BarSalona! Cities have different names/pronunciations in some languages we pronounce the S in Paris whereas in French they don't. Furthermore, Barcelona is a Catalan city and they don't pronounce it with a th but similarly to English (at least from what I can tell). It's the height of pretentiousness.

None of that criticism applies if you're a native Spanish speaker.
 

Pagh Wraith

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Oh god I hate this. Just say BarSalona! Cities have different names/pronunciations in some languages we pronounce the S in Paris whereas in French they don't. Furthermore, Barcelona is a Catalan city and they don't pronounce it with a th but similarly to English (at least from what I can tell). It's the height of pretentiousness.

None of that criticism applies if you're a native Spanish speaker.
On the cities I agree as they have different names in different languages. Not attempting to correctly pronounce foreign names is a pet hate of mine though. I've never heard any British commentator say easy names such as Pogba, Mané or Fernandes correctly. And don't get me started on Souček and Coufal. You don't have to be an expert on phonology. All it takes is a quick glance at a website like Forvo.