Football phrases that grinds your gears

jem

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I think someone has already mentioned it, but I really hate 'double pivot'
 

Tom Van Persie

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Commentators using nicknames or first names for players. Martin Tyler calls Firmino 'Bobby' and I cringe every time. McManaman always calls Alexander-Arnold 'Trent'
 

Foxbatt

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Putting in a shift. I hate it. I don't care if he puts in a shift or not if he plays just for 5 mins and wins a game due to his brilliance.
 

Irrational.

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“Taken one for the team” is another one that grinds my gears, often referring to a blatant act of cheating as a talentless knobjockey commits a “tactical foul” (another term I hate) to stop a counter, often resulting in a booking (unless you’re Fernandinho or Firmino).
 

Eternitiy

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I seriously dislike referring to players' positions by shirt numbers. Numbers have different meaning across different cultures and time periods. Why not refer to a player's actual position and/or role rather than a shirt number? I really don't understand it.
 

Grande

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‘Saved by the post/crossbar’ - The woodwork is outside of the goal, and if you shoot outside of the goal, the only one who is saved is you, when getting a rebound instead of a goal kick against.
 

ElCuddlos

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"At times". It's become a vocal tic by pundits used to water down a statement they aren't 100% behind to the extent that they use it in places where it makes no sense. Jenas is the main culprit.
 

pablo__p

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"Excellent shot by Rashford!" When the ball was flying above the bar at high speed. If it's not even on target within the 2.4m x 7.3m area, that is NOT an excellent shot.
A variation of this is "excellent run by Rashford" when he just runs into a group of defenders and inevitably loses the ball.
 

AngliaRed

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“ he’s said, welcome to the premier league” - after a crunching tackle on a new foreign player.

He hasn’t!
 

calodo2003

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‘Saved by the post/crossbar’ - The woodwork is outside of the goal, and if you shoot outside of the goal, the only one who is saved is you, when getting a rebound instead of a goal kick against.
Exactly.
 

WakeAndBeek

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Not a phrase as such but the way pundits pretty much force new signings or managers from abroad into saying or agreeing that the Premier League is the most physical in the world.

Asking someone who barely speaks English,“how does the style of football compare to what you’re used to back in Spain”
....
“I saw a few tasty tackles out there today, would you say it’s more physical?”

“...yes yes physical, good quality”
 

Needham

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Grinds my gears when interviewers make a question almost entirely out of idioms for foreign players, like "You must have been champing at the bit to step up to the plate today after the brickbats you've been getting of late..." You can see even a Mourinho squint half way through at times. Forunately most choose to ignore the substance of the question and say something generic instead and it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference to the outcome of the exchange.
 

Robertd0803

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"Lives rent free in your head".

Might not just be a football thing but what a stupid phrase.
 

Chairman Steve

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The concept of “asking questions of a team” is annoying as feck. I blame Andy Gray for mainstreaming that one and maybe even inventing it.

How about just saying putting pressure on a team and threatening them?
 

Leonzo1

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RCB and LCB when talking about center backs. It barely makes any difference yet people put way to much weight on it.
 

Kag

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If I hear 'patterns of play' used unironically one more time...

Arseholes like Michael Cox and Jonathan Wilson being paid to write tripe in relation to this are the real problem. Self-styled nobodies who analyse ideas that didn’t even exist prior to their pen hitting the paper.
 

Tyrion

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"Transition season" = Code for Bad Season

"Sent the keeper the wrong way" = He guessed correctly (usually)

"Moment of magic" = Intentional skill

There's a load more but I can't think of them off the top of my head
 

Tyrion

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Arseholes like Michael Cox and Jonathan Wilson being paid to write tripe in relation to this are the real problem. Self-styled nobodies who analyse ideas that didn’t even exist prior to their pen hitting the paper.
I disagree with that. I think they're the best football writers around. I'd much rather them than the other writers who play amatuer psychologists with footballers they barely know.
 

WakeAndBeek

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“You gotta give credit to Leeds for playing attacking football”

Firstly, pundits are acting like every other promoted team comes up and plays with 11 men behind the ball which, early 10’s Stoke and Big Sam sides aside hasn’t been the case for a while, and secondly, this praise is still heaped on after they lose 6-2 in games they could’ve got a result out of with a more pragmatic approach:lol:
 

Gazza

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Grinds my gears when interviewers make a question almost entirely out of idioms for foreign players, like "You must have been champing at the bit to step up to the plate today after the brickbats you've been getting of late..." You can see even a Mourinho squint half way through at times. Forunately most choose to ignore the substance of the question and say something generic instead and it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference to the outcome of the exchange.
Spot on... I mean, you're right
 

Gazza

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"Only in the Premier League do you see this!" Invariably after something happens that happens literally every week in other leagues, such as a comeback win, a 4-3, or a last-minute winning goal.

Also

"He does get some of the ball there"
"There is some contact there"
"You've seen them given"
 

Noot

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RCB and LCB when talking about center backs. It barely makes any difference yet people put way to much weight on it.
City fans have spent the last few years being told that we need one of our CBs to be left-footed or the whole system will somehow just collapse. Now we've stumbled onto Dias and Stones, our best partnership in years, and surprise surprise they're both right-footed. Really doesn't matter at all.
 

Ayoba

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When a shot hits the post/crossbar - "he almost hit it too well". No, no he didnt, if he hit it too well then it would've gone into the back of the net!!
 

Needham

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Dont like preplanned stuff like "The crazy gang have beaten the culture club".
 

Revaulx

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Stonewall.

What has a penalty got to do with an iconic* New York gay club?

* another word I really hate, but one that fortunately hasn’t infected football yet.
 

mitchmouse

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"xx has scored against his former team" - as if the norm is that everyone only plays for one club.
"xx is only 18" - as if football is a game for 40 year olds...
 

Falcow

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I seriously dislike referring to players' positions by shirt numbers. Numbers have different meaning across different cultures and time periods. Why not refer to a player's actual position and/or role rather than a shirt number? I really don't understand it.
Agreed. I think this became popular again when LVG took over and started using it. Everyone then started using it to demonstrate their knowledge.