Football phrases that grinds your gears

Sandikan

aka sex on the beach
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High press
"Them ones" (Hoddle)
"And it's live" (Tyler)
Game plan (usually used to slate lower teams)
 

Rozay

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‘He’s leant back as he hit it’ anytime a shot goes over the bar.
 

Chickentown

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Pluralising last names.
That's pretty harsh on your Redknapps, your Sounesseses, your Scholeses, your Keanes, your Savages, your Keowns.

Who played for your Liverpools, your Manchester Uniteds, your Arsenals...
 

cyberman

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Anything that contains the words modern football. Nobody gives a feck about your opinion on an outdated factor in the game. Souness is the worst with this. Your day is never coming around again so stop with the worthless comparisons
 

acolyte

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Anything that contains the words modern football. Nobody gives a feck about your opinion on an outdated factor in the game. Souness is the worst with this. Your day is never coming around again so stop with the worthless comparisons
Wish I could give you a like for this. Add to this the people that are constantly going on about outdated tactical concepts. Touchline hugging wingers aren't coming back anytime soon, get over it!
 

UnrelatedPsuedo

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Anything that contains the words modern football. Nobody gives a feck about your opinion on an outdated factor in the game. Souness is the worst with this. Your day is never coming around again so stop with the worthless comparisons
Have you read Thiago’s Guardian piece?

Worth it
 

Chairman Steve

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Commentators and pundits calling players/managers by their first names. Its one of those instances where some formality would be appreciated, otherwise it sounds like a chum fest or a fanboy fest.

Just listen to any England match where “Harry needs to do better there” and “Jordans got to do better coming for that corner” and “Gareth’s not afraid to pick whatever he wants”
 

AndOr Hererra

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“Hiding in big games”

Stupid phrase that doesn’t really mean anything to anyone and is generally just used to criticise a big player when he doesn’t perform his greatest against a top team
 

redshaw

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overloads, between the lines, down the channels

overloads is the most annoying
 

lilcurt

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"low block"

Seems to have become a thing in the last 5 years also, before which time it was "parking the bus".
 

micmac

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This transfer window I’ve heard “cautiously optimistic” it drives me crazy it’s like the “new normal”.
 

Wanderlust_09

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I absolutely despise the phrase 'clearing the deadwood'. Come on! That feels so dehumanizing to me, even if these players are all multi-millionaires. If I (or anyone) gets fired for whatever reason, I don't want to be referred to as deadwood.
 

Wibble

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"They wanted it more"

"You can only beat what is in front of you"
Most of those have an obvious meaning but these two in particular do. We have all seen sides with more desire to win than the other team. And the second is a truism that usually comes from criticism that a team hasn't played very good sides yet, usually in a cup format competition. Slogan style phrases can be annoying and bit meaningless but some of those are meaningful under some circumstances.
 

Wibble

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Although they have some meaning sometimes I do hate the term false 9 or false 10.
 

JPM#mufc

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Not a football saying but John Hartson saying "The Ukraine" the other day was really grinding mine.
 

redshaw

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It's hard not to hear Danny Murphy shouting most of these after watching the Spain Poland match.

I get Spain can be frustrating but he was constantly going on about these between the lines, get in behind, down the channels type phrases, his frustration really soured the commentary to waterboarding levels of repetitive inanity.
 

Beagle

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I think you must be much younger than me.
If you're implying I've not seen them play wide attacking football then that's not entirely true. I've been watching since around 2001.

But my point was why does a certain brand of football from a specific period get to be called the United way? Because that was exciting to watch and successful? What if we have a different coach with a very different style that becomes successful? Would it not be that good since it's not the United way? Do other clubs have such a thing? Like Liverpool? I'm not sure they played this high pressing style in the 80's.
 

Wibble

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But my point was why does a certain brand of football from a specific period get to be called the United way? Because that was exciting to watch and successful? What if we have a different coach with a very different style that becomes successful? Would it not be that good since it's not the United way? Do other clubs have such a thing? Like Liverpool? I'm not sure they played this high pressing style in the 80's.
Yes. Because it is the United way (tradition if you prefer) since at least the Munich air disaster. I'd rather we lose playing attractive attacking football (with or without true wingers) than win with boring Mourinho or van Gaal style football if that is the choice.

And I don't care at all about what Liverpool did, do or will ever do.