"Disappointing result today but we go again next week!!!(insert 3 x muscle emoji here)"
Go where exactly boys? Into yet another car crash performance?
Go where exactly boys? Into yet another car crash performance?
Football phrases that grinds your gears
- Thread starter Micky Targaryen
- Start date
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik and Imran hold a long overdue conversation about United's awful league form with 1 win in 7. They discuss a disappointing draw at Bournemouth, a not so disappointing draw against Liverpool and a crushing defeat at Chelsea - Is time nearly over for Erik Ten Hag?
Then in a special second half of the pod, Nik welcomes Natalie ( https://twitter.com/natalie_17) to discuss the fortunes of Manchester United Women as they booked a place in the FA Cup Final after a historic first ever win vs. Chelsea.
I will be successful here
"He likes to play in the hole behind the striker" or wingers that like to "cum inside".
"Brings them within a point"...?
So they are less than one point behind..? Because they are within one point..?
If they are one point behind, just fcking say that they are one point behind, not within one point behind....Grrrrr
So they are less than one point behind..? Because they are within one point..?
If they are one point behind, just fcking say that they are one point behind, not within one point behind....Grrrrr
Nobody says "within one point behind". "Within one point of the lead" maybe, but that makes sense."Brings them within a point"...?
So they are less than one point behind..? Because they are within one point..?
If they are one point behind, just fcking say that they are one point behind, not within one point behind....Grrrrr
Yes they do, and it irrationally irks me....
"He put in a shift."
When you hear this phrase on the Caf, you know they are referring to a player of very limited abilities.
When you hear this phrase on the Caf, you know they are referring to a player of very limited abilities.
Rolls Royce of a player.
And it’s liveeeeee!!
Famous European Anfield night.
And it’s liveeeeee!!
Famous European Anfield night.
Anything Glenn Hoddle says, especially 'very much so' and 'he's opened up his legs there'.
Low centre of gravity.
'And he finished that with aplomb'. Literally no-one says that apart from football commentators.
Squad player = shit player.
Low centre of gravity.
'And he finished that with aplomb'. Literally no-one says that apart from football commentators.
Squad player = shit player.
These terms are standard across swathes of platforms for debates between middle class tossers from the west.
p.s. hope the word 'swathe' didn't upset you.
“They’ve downed their tools.”
Yeah, because football players are assembly workers going on strike
Yeah, because football players are assembly workers going on strike
I don’t frequent swathes of platforms so I wouldn’t know that, I’m only a working class tosser from the west.
Whenever a young and upcoming player is discovered, he automatically becomes the "next Ronaldo" or "next Messi" etc.. which one of these actually are true though?
Oh, and fecking "XG".
Oh, and fecking "XG".
I really need this thread mate... more than anything, I absolutely despise the typical, unoriginal punditry/commentary speak that originates on telly but has permeated into the average football fans' vocabulary and I feel this almost irresistible urge to punch the wall whenever I hear them nowadays. 
"That right hand side" "that left hand side" (just say the)
"The likes of Pogba, Martial, Rashford..." etc (why say likes of if you're naming the whole team? this is the worst one for me by far anyway)
"He almost hit that too well"
"World class"
"Gegenpress"
"Natural talent"
So many more that I can't even think of right now
"That right hand side" "that left hand side" (just say the)
"The likes of Pogba, Martial, Rashford..." etc (why say likes of if you're naming the whole team? this is the worst one for me by far anyway)
"He almost hit that too well"
"World class"
"Gegenpress"
"Natural talent"
So many more that I can't even think of right now
Anything around a particular fan base deserving some success, as if they are more deserving than others, seems particularly prevalent with Newcastle United. I tell you what, I have a lot more respect and sympathy for the idea that fans deserve some success for fans of lower league sides that follow their team home and away, at the end of the day though we are all as deserving as each other.
"lacks coaching" when they dont play the way you do in FIFA
Take the game by the scruff of the neck. Neville says it in every game and it drives me mad.
Essentially all football cliches are getting tiresome. Can't the pundits think of something new to say instead of repeating the same thing again and again?
Essentially all football cliches are getting tiresome. Can't the pundits think of something new to say instead of repeating the same thing again and again?
"Toxic" - When fans are criticizing things about the club, like the shit players, and gets that. Apparently it's their fault.
"He works hard" - Like this is a big virtue for a Man Utd player.
"He works hard" - Like this is a big virtue for a Man Utd player.
“Definitely a yellow, not quite a red. Orange.”
"Ceiling"
Like nails on a chalkboard. Awful term.
Like nails on a chalkboard. Awful term.
In Sweden there’s a phrase being used quite regularly. It started maybe ten years ago and now every manager, commentator and studio expert use it. I don’t know how common it is in English.
The phrase is “ask questions”. So if a team makes a tactical change or has a certain tactic that team is asking the a other team a question. Now the other team has to “answer the question” or they’ll have a big problem. A player can also “ask the opposition questions”. A very fast winger for example. Can the opposition “answer the question”, in other words do something to prevent him using his speed to create chances.
It’s so silly.
The phrase is “ask questions”. So if a team makes a tactical change or has a certain tactic that team is asking the a other team a question. Now the other team has to “answer the question” or they’ll have a big problem. A player can also “ask the opposition questions”. A very fast winger for example. Can the opposition “answer the question”, in other words do something to prevent him using his speed to create chances.
It’s so silly.
Referring to them scousers as "pool"
"Getting rid of the dross"
Anything that adds an unneeded 'S'. "Need to be like the Shearers and Henrys" "The Arsenals and Chelseas" "The Mourinhos and Guardiolas of the world"
"He couldn't of hit that better" as a shot sails over.
A goalkeeper being described as a "Good Shot Stopper"
I'm hating the word "process".
"He couldn't of hit that better" as a shot sails over.
A goalkeeper being described as a "Good Shot Stopper"
I'm hating the word "process".
'he is entitled to go down there'.... after a player has been slightly touched...
No he isnt....feck off!
No he isnt....feck off!
“He should be doing better for his salary/what he cost.”
”[team X] wanted it more than [team Y]”
When people say a certain manager is "the perfect fit" What the feck does that mean?
The Project.
Such a lifeless soulless way of describing football
Such a lifeless soulless way of describing football
Can’t stand those generic tweets and Instagram posts players post after a disappointing result.
I really hate this one. Especially after the 15/16 chelsea season
This thread is kind of similar to the Football cliches thread.
Someone good ones in here: https://www.redcafe.net/threads/football-cliches-wheres-the-talking.348401/
Someone good ones in here: https://www.redcafe.net/threads/football-cliches-wheres-the-talking.348401/
"Rebuild"
"Process"
"Gets the club"
"Pashun"
"Workrate"
"Downed tools"
"Process"
"Gets the club"
"Pashun"
"Workrate"
"Downed tools"
He's playing as a false number nine.
Plastic fan. This insult is thrown out every time someone doesn't share thier opinion.
A game of two halves...well no sht Sherlock.
This is a must win game. There are very few must win games in a sense if you don't win then you are relegated or you lose the final but then it's bloody obvious so no one says it. They don't say this is a must win game at the win game at the world cup final. They just say it every week for games that nothing bad will really happen if it's a draw.
You should make the keeper work. Like going 2 inches wide from 40 yards is worse than a slow shot right at the keeper. Don't make the keeper work. Hit it into the net Doesn't matter what he does
Stock phrases like he has two good feet, he's a good shot stopper etc. Well they bloody should have they are professional footballers
A game of two halves...well no sht Sherlock.
This is a must win game. There are very few must win games in a sense if you don't win then you are relegated or you lose the final but then it's bloody obvious so no one says it. They don't say this is a must win game at the win game at the world cup final. They just say it every week for games that nothing bad will really happen if it's a draw.
You should make the keeper work. Like going 2 inches wide from 40 yards is worse than a slow shot right at the keeper. Don't make the keeper work. Hit it into the net Doesn't matter what he does
Stock phrases like he has two good feet, he's a good shot stopper etc. Well they bloody should have they are professional footballers
"If the GK hadn't saved it, it would ve been a goal"
Seeing people refer to Ronaldo as CR7 just makes me want to hurt someone. Don't know why?
Also:
"he has a low centre of gravity"
"flat back four"
"playing in the hole"
I wouldn't mind if I never hear these terms again. Also pretty much most of what is said during American commentaries.
Also:
"he has a low centre of gravity"
"flat back four"
"playing in the hole"
I wouldn't mind if I never hear these terms again. Also pretty much most of what is said during American commentaries.
What American commentaries? Do you know the PL commentaries are all British?