Football phrases that grinds your gears

[ValenciaRocks]

“I’ve seen em given”

Using the word “actual” when it’s not really needed. Something I see a lot on this actual site.

“This is our year”

“We know they can hurt us on the counter”

Famous one from Owen:
“If that shot had gone inside the post, that would of been a goal”

 

[Hound Dog]

Never heard this in my life and I've been watching football with British English commentary for decades.

It is used quite frequently in match reports.

 

[sparx99]

Agree with anything Tyler says, especially:

“AND ITS LIVE!”

He seems bored generally these days.

 

[sparx99]

“Transfer kitty”
“Big money move”
“X club to inquire about Y player”
“Test the waters with a bid”
“Come and get me plea”

you can add

‘preparing a bid’ preparing what exactly?

‘warchest’ particularly when it’s a small one!

 

[Kaivalya]

"He's hit it too well."

Also calling everyone 'Lad'

 

[sparx99]

Imagine if they did add on time for every player feeling a touch and collapsing, to the time they eventually take the free kick.

Every game would be 140 mins long.

They have trialled stopping the clock and playing 2x 30min halves. I’d be all for it tbh. The ball is often only in play 60-odd minutes and takes added time away from the referees bias and subjectivity.

it would also be great to have the rugby style red clock where the next break in play is the final whistle instead of just waiting for a goalie to boot it into the air.

 

[worldgonemad]

When a player 'turns on the afterburners'
Hes not a fecking jet .

 

[xonyo]

"He's used all his experience there" - when doing something as simple as shepherding the ball out of play for a goal kick.

 

[Vitali]

I see this one on this forum (and other football arenas) most days. "He is a top, top player".

What exactly is a "top, top player" (or mostly written as "top top")? I believe that there is nothing higher than the top.

Even funnier, I have seen arguments along the lines of what is outlined below.

A: "He was a top, top player."

B: "I disagree, A, he was a top player, but not a top, top player."

C: "Guys, let's put this one to bed. I've watched him play for decades and believe me, he was a top, top, top player."

I kid you not.

 

[Sandikan]

They have trialled stopping the clock and playing 2x 30min halves. I’d be all for it tbh. The ball is often only in play 60-odd minutes and takes added time away from the referees bias and subjectivity.

it would also be great to have the rugby style red clock where the next break in play is the final whistle instead of just waiting for a goalie to boot it into the air.

What's the next break in play though? The ball off the pitch? Or a foul?

It couldn't be the latter, as teams would just catch the ball, or foul to eat the time up.

 

[Sandikan]

"He's used all his experience there" - when doing something as simple as shepherding the ball out of play for a goal kick.

Even worse is that that phrase is generally a euphemism for "committed a cynical foul"

 

[Conor]

Maybe not exactly what the thread is looking for, but I absolutely despise the shit, overused thread titles people use on here, such as 'We need to talk about ___'.

 

[The Brown Bull]

These things even out over the course of a season.(After a bad reffing decision or just bad luck) They fffing don't!
"End to end stuff". As opposed to side to side stuff? Or stay in the middle stuff?
Commentators endlessly explaining the "away goal" rule.We get it , we really do.
And many more.

 

[Steve Bruce]

Can I put chants in here.

'He's one of our own'

'Liiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllll liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppooooooooooooollllllllllllll' (and not just because it's liverpool, it's slow, stretched out boring chant

'When the spurs go marching in' It's so slow, it's not meant to be like that.

'You'll never walk alone' Obvious reasons

I can go on and on

 

[shamans]

"Its a process"

"Players have no spine:

 

[shamans]

Maybe not exactly what the thread is looking for, but I absolutely despise the shit, overused thread titles people use on here, such as 'We need to talk about ___'.

Yeah same. Or the ones with question Mark's or trying to be creative.

 

[el3mel]

Shame. Came too late that everything has been mentioned.

Maybe I'll add "movement" and "He runs a lot" when it comes to Lingard.

 

[Steve Bruce]

At least we don't have to hear 'Gerrraaaarrrrdddd

 

[Sassy Colin]

"Back of a length"

It's always been short of a length and short of a length it should stay. You bowl a short ball, not a back ball. It doesn't make sense on any level whatsoever.

That's cricket, not football, but it doesn't half piss me off.

 

[Chipper]

"End to end stuff". As opposed to side to side stuff? Or stay in the middle stuff?

United under LVG.

 

[Untd55]

"He just gets it" when speaking about understanding the club. Everything related is just as annoying.

Also, not really relevant but I have seen it on here: "the mind boggles".

 

[fps]

He's literally put it on a plate for him.

 

[FreddieTheReddie]

Not exactly football phrase but "breath of fresh air" annoyed me during the "new manager bounce". I never heard anything particularly thoughtful from Ole so I guess fans were just happy to hear something positive after the "toxic one". I always felt his pressers would become meaningless at some point and here we are. Also "bleeds red", "gets the club", "the United way", "Ole at the wheel" started to get irritating after the Wolves game.

 

[SportingCP96]

Maybe not exactly what the thread is looking for, but I absolutely despise the shit, overused thread titles people use on here, such as 'We need to talk about ___'.

Or "lets talk about.." It makes me cringe so much and I dont know why.

 

[Le Red]

‘Saved by the post / crossbar / woodwork...’

The woodwork never saves a GK or a team, it doesn’t keep the ball out. If there were no posts & a ball went over the location where the post would be, it’s just a goal kick. Same thing with an imaginary crossbar (harder to imagine & recreate, though).

Remove them & shots that cross those intersection points are just goal kicks.

Lord you're a very literal kinda guy to be annoyed by that ain't you?

 

[Oscar.Z.Acosta]

From one of our former managers that has had trouble with descriptions of players on occasion.

 

[calodo2003]

Lord you're a very literal kinda guy to be annoyed by that ain't you?

Been a keeper for 40 years. I said to my father one day when I was young that the post saved me on a shot I couldn't save. He, being a long time referee, told me that I was incorrect in saying that, by taking the post away, blah, blah, blah. It has always stuck with me for the past 30 years!

 

[DavelinaJolie]

"He's put his ballsack in his mouth and is now rolling his hips"

I always thought it was a bit off-colour to be honest.

 

[Man of Steel]

Chongy.

It sounds to me like another way of saying 'Don't get your panties in a wad'

How to use the word 'Chongy' in a sentence. Example..

"Hey Roy Keane of Man Utd fame, why'd ya be so mean and angry to me? have you got a chongy or somethin?"

It's the merging of chunky and thong.

A chunky thong that could give Roy or anyone else depending on certain circumstances a "Chongy".

off topic but educational I feel.

 

[BrownRecluse]

“There’s a lot to unpack”

Drives me crazy

 

[Man of Steel]

Pundits, former players and managers etc calling players "The boy" when the player is in their twenties, and especially when the pundit/manager who says it is pretty young themselves.

I think it might be more a London thing?

 

[Cloud7]

“It balances out over the course of the season” Biggest load of garbage ever.

 

[Siorac]

It is most often used in PL games, no one is neutral (it's impossible to be neutral) when it comes to the PL, even if you support one of the lower league sides.

Why would it be impossible to be neutral? Just this weekend there's Bournemouth v Norwich, Aston Villa v BHA, Everton v West Ham - I couldn't give a feck about any of those teams. If I watched those games, I'd be completely neutral.

 

[Sassy Colin]

Why would it be impossible to be neutral? Just this weekend there's Bournemouth v Norwich, Aston Villa v BHA, Everton v West Ham - I couldn't give a feck about any of those teams. If I watched those games, I'd be completely neutral.

Why would you waste your time watching a game you couldn't give a feck about?

 

[Siorac]

Why would you waste your time watching a game you couldn't give a feck about?

I probably wouldn't. But maybe I'm really bored and just want to watch some football, any football.

 

[Sassy Colin]

I probably wouldn't. But maybe I'm really bored and just want to watch some football, any football.

Go have a wank instead, ffs.

 

[Siorac]

Go have a wank instead, ffs.

Dunno how long your wanks are but for me they don't kill nearly as much time as a game of football.

Though I must admit this is an odd debate because I actually have no intention of watching either of those games. But still. If someone forced me, I'd be neutral!

 

[Sassy Colin]

Dunno how long your wanks are but for me they don't kill nearly as much time as a game of football.

Though I must admit this is an odd debate because I actually have no intention of watching either of those games. But still. If someone forced me, I'd be neutral!

You will watch this football match which you have no interest in!

Spoiler

 

[Needham]

38 more messages

 

[Sparky_Hughes]

They deserved something out of the game. They didnt, or they would have got it.