- Dec 10, 2020
The Great British Bake Off (Tuesday, Channel 4) is how Britain likes to see itself. Each year the show presents us with a bunch of polite, eccentric, multicultural craftsfolk in a big tent replete with food, fuel and Union Jack bunting and implies that this is the real Britain. Then we turn on GB News and see the actual citizens of that blighted isle, light-headed with supply shortages and Facebookmemes, sucking Soylent Green from a pipe in the fulfilment centre where everyone works now in the absence of employment law, trade deals or hope.
The real Britain gets Boris Johnson, a prematurely aged toddler pumped full of regret, lies and leaking attic insulation. Bake Off gets the veteran judge Paul Hollywood, his eyes as blue as sadness and his beard as white as an angel’s wing. Johnson’s faithless handshake is like being grazed by some strands of wet hair. Hollywood’s affirming handshake is like being gripped by the full force of your father’s love.
I don’t watch GBBO that much but couldn’t they have gone with the opposite? While talented immigrants are being forced out of Britain in this show they usually end up winning!brilliant. They could also have pointed out that almost every year without fail the minorities are the first to be kicked out.