Guess Woodward's next press leak/briefing

Suedesi

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So, as typical after poor results, Woodie will brief the press about some vague upcoming change that will have a significant upturn for our team's fate in the not-to-distant future. My guess would be one of them:

- United in discussion to hire Director of Football
- United appoint new assistant physio from the South African Premier League Champions
- United sign 3 year old Argentinian prodigy, rumored to be the next Messi
- United sign new sponsorship deal with Insta Pot, the leading brand of slow cookers world wide

Feel free to add yours, winner gets a cup of instant noodles
 

The Bloody-Nine

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I wish someone would brief the press that one Mr Ed Woodward is floating in the bowl and the handle is jingling, due to his history of incompetence in all matters pertaining to football.
 

space

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Something about January and war-chest or some bullshit, only for no players to be available or worth signing in January or something
 

C3Pique

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Woodward sanctions 200m bids for Sancho and Haaland

When he knows they will/have already turn our offers down
 

Catt

Ole's at the wheel!
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When was the last "briefing" and what was said?
 

mu4c_20le

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I could really use a sponsorship announcement to lift my spirits right now.
 

fergiesarmy1

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He’s a bigger problem than who the manager is, then there’s the players and finally the owners. I’d go 10% Ole, 25% Ed, 25% players and 50% owners.
 

Chairman Steve

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”Senior Utd officials are understood to be concerned with Solskjaers form, but are happy to continue with him carrying on for the Tottenham and Man City matches. A Utd insider who was adamantly for Solskjær staying informed us that they have been fending off angry fan suggestions by replying ‘Ooooooooohhhh Sorry Massive United fan’, and then plugged Salford City season tickets”
 

Nou_Camp99

what would Souness do?
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I think he will be reluctant to sack Ole in fear off the reaction he may get. Suspect we will stick with Ole now till the summer regardless.
 

bondsname

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I think he will be reluctant to sack Ole in fear off the reaction he may get. Suspect we will stick with Ole now till the summer regardless.
Says a lot of personality of the man who is supposed to lead us back to the very top. Woodward is a fecking coward and any self respecting man would leave in his situation.
 

El Zoido

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We’ve partnered with that VR company that does headsets for cows so they can see green fields when they’re actually in confined spaces. Every matchday going fan will be provided with a headset that shows a classic United game from the Fergie era instead of having to watch the dross going on in front of them.
 

gica_7

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We are close to january so it must be something like "United is willing spend 200 million on january".
 

Eric's Seagull

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Some sh!te that there will be significant money available to spend in January but come January we will find out that the right players were not available.
 
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Nick7

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“The club is standing behind Ole’s vision and will invest in January but warn that the right targets might not be available”
 

Kostur

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He’s a bigger problem than who the manager is, then there’s the players and finally the owners. I’d go 10% Ole, 25% Ed, 25% players and 50% owners.
Why not Ole 17%, 31% Ed, 37% plauers and 75% owners while you're fecking at it?

Next briefing will be about us preparing a bid for Sancho/Haland/some other dick in January.
 

matt10000

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soapythecat

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This week we will see:
A new pledge/leak about a DoF appointment.
Some twat supposedly from Saudi will be tweeting again about a buy out.
Sancho and Haaland stories will be through the roof.
And United fans will fall for the lot. Again.
 

fergiesarmy1

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The lad is just giving 110%. Ease up.
At least there are some funny and friendly people on this board - cheers mate.

I’m gonna go on a rant here.

I used to post on this board back on the day over 15 years ago and it was a funny and friendly place to be. Since I have been here I have found it unfriendly, lacking humour, moderation very sad (got banned for a drunken post about Ed the red but I can live with that)

Been accused of being racist and xenophobic because I don’t like Pogba even though I have pictures of Cantona, Yorke and Cole all round my house and am not English which is where the accusers seem to be going at.
 

kouroux

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At least there are some funny and friendly people on this board - cheers mate.

I’m gonna go on a rant here.

I used to post on this board back on the day over 15 years ago and it was a funny and friendly place to be. Since I have been here I have found it unfriendly, lacking humour, moderation very sad (got banned for a drunken post about Ed the red but I can live with that)

Been accused of being racist and xenophobic because I don’t like Pogba even though I have pictures of Cantona, Yorke and Cole all round my house and am not English which is where the accusers seem to be going at.
Who did ?
 

kouroux

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Hal alal or whatever he was called.
Personally I cannot say I have seen someone being racist like that on the caf, on Twitter and IG, without a doubt yeah. Like I always say, criticism is fine, as long as it's fair. You are allowed to even dislike a player irrationnally without it being based on race.