Fixed. He scored in the cup. Prolific.
How many goals could YOU score up front for United in a season?
- Thread starter Cristiano Jonaldo
- Start date
Absolutely no chance
If you could score 5 goals a season you’d be a premier league striker, or an incredibly high level championship one.Maybe against us I'd have a better chance!
Being fit is nowhere near enough. Weghorst is fitter than anyone on this forum and he got 13 touches of the ball against Newcastle on Sunday. Even excluding all the technical and mental ability points, where you're hundreds of levels below even Wouty, how are you going to score when you're not even getting the ball?
In league goals probably 11-13, more like 15-17 if I got on a hot streak.
This is what really, really separates professionals from everyone else. It's the effortless power generation. It's fecking scary.
It's the difference between training to do something since you're about 6-7 years old, Vs doing it recreationally. Their muscles, joints and bones are so well tuned to be able to do it that it they get so much more out of a similar amount of effort
Well our striker was at Arsenal until he was 18 and one of the midfielders is now in the MLS, so I'm confident the level was high enough to know nobody who is not a full professional already is scoring anything other than a fluke goal. 5 is pure fantasy.
I am quick enough to tap some in during counter attacks. I am very confident I would at least score as much as wouty or at least 3. Even bebe got 2 in 7 for united and his technique at the time was supposed to below the professional level. Wout is not quick enough and agile enough to take advantage of some situations.
Ajr is going to be so surprised to see notifications on posts he made 8 years ago..
0
They'd be running out with the defibrillator ten minutes into my first appearance.
They'd be running out with the defibrillator ten minutes into my first appearance.
Couple things, there, though:
1. You need to have the tactical nous to get into position for those tap ins (and even more importantly not get caught offside);
2. You also need to make that run and get into that position multiple times per 90. Think about how many amazing runs Rashford et al make a game that aren't picked up. Are you going to have the legs to do for over 90 minutes? Even 30? Don't think so.
3. Not only do you have to be in that position, you still need to hit the ball with enough quality and technique to beat a PL standard goalkeeper. The likelihood of you getting an entirely unmissable 0.99 xG shot 'at least' 3 times in a season is so unlikely;
4. I'm sure you are a bit nippy. But I'm also just as sure you're not faster than PL level defenders.
Bebe was and is a professional level footballer who ended up having multiple successful seasons in La Liga. You're not outscoring Bebe.
You can't seriously believe that, yet there is no white text
Internet never forgets.
Depends on how far one would like to stretch the imaginary scenario where
"You're in the box, 5 yards from goal, the ball lands at your feet with no spin on it and is perfectly still,
the oppo's defenders forgot to cover you, the keeper leaves half the net empty....".
So yeah, if that was the case, a random person could score a goal. and if you duplicate this scenario 10 times, that random person would score 10 goals.
If we're talking about scenarios with any real possibility to exist,
the only answer would be 0,
and it'd be true also for League 1 / 2.
There must be a semi-pro level, or lower than that- I'm not familiar with the terms,
where an average Joe who's quite alright at football won't make an absolute fool of themselves.
It certainly isn't in the fecking PL.
"You're in the box, 5 yards from goal, the ball lands at your feet with no spin on it and is perfectly still,
the oppo's defenders forgot to cover you, the keeper leaves half the net empty....".
So yeah, if that was the case, a random person could score a goal. and if you duplicate this scenario 10 times, that random person would score 10 goals.
If we're talking about scenarios with any real possibility to exist,
the only answer would be 0,
and it'd be true also for League 1 / 2.
There must be a semi-pro level, or lower than that- I'm not familiar with the terms,
where an average Joe who's quite alright at football won't make an absolute fool of themselves.
It certainly isn't in the fecking PL.
5. The man marking at professional level would put you out of tune or balance 99 times out of 100and your chance of scoring one or two a la Inzaghi without being Inzaghi is just a dream…the best chance is you somewhat get the ball in vertical, alone, in a 1 vs 1 situation vs the keeper, the likes we see at half time with kids and sort of penalty in motion… and even then the most probable output is you fluff it 9 times out of ten.
I think it’s possible the average person scores a goal by chance or it just falls right. However you would negatively affect the overall team so badly that teams would probably set up tactical plans just to exploit you. The likes of Pep would ditch a centre back for another attacking midfielder because he’d know you wouldn’t be able to do anything in space.
Pretty sure there was that random fan who scored twice after giving Harry Redknapp some abuse from the stands.
Was in pre season though I believe.
Was in pre season though I believe.
Obviously I am not serious. But I have to believe there is some guy below league 1 who would tap in 2 or 3 more than Wout. Bebe when he was very raw managed 2 in 7 then non league Jamie vardy could get 5 in 60 games.You can't seriously believe that, yet there is no white text
Would you get chances every game though? Don't forget that in this scenario your team essentially plays with 10 men in every single game in a highly competitive and difficult league.
I think you'd barely see the ball, let alone get chances.
Mullin at Wrexham is the first player that springs to mind.
The difference between those players who don't make it and those who do is massive, the difference between those who don't and the rest is even bigger.
I have played with & against former LOI players and lads who were in academies in the UK underage. It's ridiculous how much better they are than your average player.
Absolutely no chance
Bebe is the best example
What post
That's another question about this type of scenario: does the opposition know how bad (well, normal human, even with better than avg fitness) you are? Because if yes then I agree that the tactics would change because of the now completely useless striker up top for United, and the defenders would have an even easier time taking the ball off of you once they know you're unlikely to do anything dangerous. If the opposition has to magically treat you like a regular PL striker then I reckon the chances of scoring one goal get marginally better, but not by much.
Sorry i thought that you were quoted from the threadstart at 2015, maybe wasn´t correct
I reckon you have more chance taking a wicket in a test match against any team in the world, than scoring a goal in a professional football game.
It brings up the question what sport is easiest to fake, but yeah no matter how bad you bowl it's possible for them to be caught out if you are mediocre I guess.
If I had joined a professional football club when I was 16. I'd be as good a CB as Maguire or Lindelof.
Right now, if I had the stamina to last 90 mins every week in the PL. I could score 5 goals in a season. 1 banger.
Edit - who am I kidding. I'd have 5 touches of the ball every game.
Right now, if I had the stamina to last 90 mins every week in the PL. I could score 5 goals in a season. 1 banger.
Edit - who am I kidding. I'd have 5 touches of the ball every game.
Anyone in this thread that thinks they would score more than one goal in the premier league is wildly delusional. I guess I could see one flukey off the backside scraped effort or a tap in but if you want to test yourself properly then look at the slowest clocked speeds in the premier league. Mendez-Laing was the SLOWEST player in the premier league when Cardiff were in it and clocked 25.665kmh. The fastest speed the last time I could go at the last time I played football was 24kmh. It's a world of difference. Anyone who's ever seen or met a premier league footballer will agree, they are always so surprisingly HUGE in person too - their job is their body, they are machines. Not to mention that I'm sure 99% of you couldn't control a football without it bouncing 5 yards away from you. That's the one thing I could do well and it would never be enough. I'd hope to get an assist by getting it in the mixer but that would be about it.
I reckon if I got 90 minutes for 38 gameweeks, I could sneak 1 goal. Assuming im not on pens
Quick story time. Around 3 years ago when I was playing regular football locally, we played against a team that had two players from the Iraq national team, they were 25 and 23 at that time.
I was playing my usual position at CB and for 30 mins I was deluded enough to think I was holding my own against them.
They just look different when they run, receive the ball, make a pass or shoot, it's hard to explain but their movements are so nimble and they seem to have so much time on the ball.
Anyway, we were leading 3-2 with 15mins to go when both of them just turned it on.
They combined to score 4 goals in those 15 mins and none of us had any idea how to stop any of those goals, let alone physically do it.
They barely broke sweat, almost as if they were playing a different sport. That's the difference.
I was playing my usual position at CB and for 30 mins I was deluded enough to think I was holding my own against them.
They just look different when they run, receive the ball, make a pass or shoot, it's hard to explain but their movements are so nimble and they seem to have so much time on the ball.
Anyway, we were leading 3-2 with 15mins to go when both of them just turned it on.
They combined to score 4 goals in those 15 mins and none of us had any idea how to stop any of those goals, let alone physically do it.
They barely broke sweat, almost as if they were playing a different sport. That's the difference.
This impressed me when I first saw PL players up close, I don't think that I'd fully processed that they're nearly all larger in stature than the average man, even some of the short players are actually just average height. That plus the speed as you say, and I know that I'd just be bulldozered in every action I attempted if I were dropped in a PL game.
I’m pretty sure that you can score about 2 to 5 goals in this scenario if you don’t do anything aside from waiting for tap ins, especially if you’ll play around 55-60 games. The team will struggle massively because of it though, so you’ll play less.
I would definitely give Haaland a run for his money. Would easily score as many as he has for us.
If i played every minute of every game as a forward and my teammates tried to find me, i think i would score 0 goals and 0 assist.
Against top 2-3 teams I don’t think you’d even get a touch but United are a top four team, we’ve had some big wins and you’d definitely get a few chances given there is a better quality of player around you when you play lower teams. Again this is assuming decent fitness, not too old and you played at an ok level.
We recently played 60 minutes with 10 men at Old Trafford against the 20th in the table. We looked dreadful and never looked like scoring.
Unless by 'ok level' you mean full professional, then no, you'd barely get a sniff, let alone multiple chances every game. We only scored 41 goals this season in the league, and that's without some semi-pro chancer holding us back (insert Weghorst joke here). Meaning our actual professional top level forwards struggled to get chances.
Playing like that would ruin the build-up and your team would be constantly under pressure essentially playing with 10 men all match long. That strategy would be a sure fire way to score 0.