If you could offer Ruben one piece of advice

Call the journalists 'mate' a lot and then, even if you have a record almost as bad as ten Hag they'll say feck all about it.
 
I’m having a hard time getting over the length of his jeans but I’ll let the zoomers on here comment if it’s an acceptable look now.

For actual advice:
  • Don’t overcomplicate things right away, Rangnick-style
  • Take care of our defence first and foremost. A lot went wrong with Ten Hag but the many heavy defeats were the hardest things to stomach.
  • Results > style of play, no matter what some say.
  • Let’s not talk about winning the big trophies and not even think about it. Goal should be to be in the CL every year, and not yo-yo in and out of it. Being a mainstay there allows us to build long term and get back to where we need to be.
  • Charisma and friendliness with the press is helpful and gives you time
 
Be 100% true to your self. And I think he will be.
 
Buy Enzo Fernandez from Chelsea.
 
Book a trip to Turkey the moment you discover the smallest hint of a bald patch.
 
Don't think that the players are your friends.
 
Nobody in this current squad is irreplaceable ….don’t be afraid to cut them loose.
 
I’m having a hard time getting over the length of his jeans but I’ll let the zoomers on here comment if it’s an acceptable look now.

For actual advice:
  • Don’t overcomplicate things right away, Rangnick-style
  • Take care of our defence first and foremost. A lot went wrong with Ten Hag but the many heavy defeats were the hardest things to stomach.
  • Results > style of play, no matter what some say.
  • Let’s not talk about winning the big trophies and not even think about it. Goal should be to be in the CL every year, and not yo-yo in and out of it. Being a mainstay there allows us to build long term and get back to where we need to be.
  • Charisma and friendliness with the press is helpful and gives you time
Keep this guy as far away from Amorim as possible.

Terrible advice apart from first and last one
 
"Even if you can't imagine, some of them are really that shit"

"Don't waste too much time on 2nd impressions"
 
Look at the level of players that won the titles regularly in the Premier League, and measure every current player against that and make that the main criteria for future transfers.
 
Let them know what's expected, be clear what happens if they don't meet it. No vibes, it's my way or you are out.
 
Whatever the intended long term style of play/system is, implement it straight away and frontload as much of the growing pains as you can into this season, even if that means worse results.

Because this season is the one in which which people will have the most patience, and ever decreasing amounts thereafter.

The dumbest thing he could do is implement some pragmatic, compromised approach in an attempt to get results in the short term only to then have to try and reset the style of play later down the road. That doesn't work.
 
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Be careful of the British press as you've got a massive target on your back now that you're the Man United manager. They'll be out to twist everything into a negative / controversy at any opportunity far more than at any other club.
 
Call out the refereeing inconsistencies. Make favors that other teams get a talking point in press meets.
United are too big to ignore. The English media essentially lives off United news. Exploit it to our advantage.

Ignore the twats in the media and among fans who would moan that it is beneath our level to do all such shenanigans.
 
Playing attractive football is as important as getting results. In fact, being able to do the former consistently virtually guarantees the latter. This season has zero pressure - use it to your advantage.
 
Playing attractive football is as important as getting results. In fact, being able to do the former consistently virtually guarantees the latter. This season has zero pressure - use it to your advantage.
We're still in every competition, with a realistic chance of winning any of the cups (including the EL). And are only 4 points away from 4th with 27 league games remaining - I really hope no-one tells him there's zero pressure on this season, and I'd be amazed if he felt that way himself.
 
Ignore the fans, media, former players, pundits and the voices in your head