Film Jurassic World Dominion

Oranges038

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Looks shite.

But I might watch it, because it has that Sharknado, so bad, that it might actually be enjoyable for just laughing at how bad it really is, kind of feel to it.

Could become my second favourite bad Dinosaur movie of all time. Nothing will ever top Pterodactyl with Coolio. What a wonderfully shit film that is.
 

Fortitude

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Were you kicked in the head by a horse?
:lol:
OH wants to watch this trash and I’m doing my utmost to suggest we go watch at Vue where I have free tickets as I don’t see why this should get £50 of my money when it’s obviously appalling.
 

Mr Pigeon

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Starlord roped a dinosaur and held it in place, with the 30 tonne Dino trying it’s best to break free, within the first 10 minutes.
That is all.
Yeah because HE'S THE ALPHA look at him being the Alpha, strong Alpha with his Alpha face and Alpha rope.

Don't forget the bit where all the old and new cast meet up and we get award winning lines like "I know you, you're the guy who trains raptors!" "You were the guy on the old island!"

Will Smith better be careful at next year's Oscars otherwise Alphaboy will stretch his arm out and tame him.
 

RedDevilRoshi

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Went to see it tonight just to get it over and done with.

Pretty much what I expected - utter shite and hopefully now the final one in this franchise.
 

simonhch

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One of the worst films I’ve ever seen. I went in expecting nothing but was still somehow disappointed. Even my 7 year old went “meh”.
 

The holy trinity 68

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Starlord roped a dinosaur and held it in place, with the 30 tonne Dino trying it’s best to break free, within the first 10 minutes.
That is all.
That dinosaur is a Parasaurolophus, they weighed around 3 tonnes not 30, which is about the same weight as a small elephant.

Still most likely impossible for Chris Pratt to do what he did in that scene.
 

UnrelatedPsuedo

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They could make a far cheaper movie that made identical box office. They’re idiots. Pay the screenwriter, not the SFX team.

Is it the Chinese market that wants this shit?
 

maniak

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The most hilarious scene was the black market scene. Huge dinos breaking free and eating folks and half the blokes there just keep doing whatever they were doing as if nothing was going on. Same as outisde in the square, 2 huge dinos eating people and literally 10 meters away folks sitting outside in a cafe sipping their drinks not a care in the world. Brilliant.
 

Mockney

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Personally speaking, It undoubtedly looks incredibly stupid, and nothing like a Jurassic Park film at all, and I for one am very excited about going to see it in IMAX and then never thinking about it again..
If anything it wasn’t remotely stupid enough! And don’t get me wrong, it’s incredibly stupid - for one it’s not really about Dinosaurs at all, it’s about giant locusts, which is an admirably stupid pivot for a Jurassic Park film - but I was hoping for something so much more transcendently stupid…

There’s nothing, for example, as gloriously stupid as the last film’s Dinosaur auction… where a cast of B movie stereotypes implausibly bid ridiculously low sums in the region of Burnley transfer targets for the right to own living uncontrollable attack dinosaurs, the best of which will kill on command, as long you are already pointing a gun with a special laser sight at someone, making the whole added ‘killer dinosaur’ step completely redundant.

There’s a brief glimpse of the kind of stupid masterpiece this could’ve been in an extended nonsensical Bond sequence around the middle of the film, which incorporates not just the best worst aspects of the previous films (the stupid laser thing, Chris Pratt on a motorcycle) but also a seedy underworld Dino fighting ring, a Dino with a robot arm and Raptors jumping over rooftops to chase a small woman at the behest of a Carmen Sandiego villain with a magical laser pointer.

But sadly once this sequence ends, all its potential is squandered as the characters then all race to meet up in another jungle setting with some generic underground labs thrown in, and everything returns to the most unimaginative version of this kind of thing (they are very literally back in a park)

There are a couple of good new big feathery boys. Particularly a giant evil sloth thing, but even these sequences end what seems like a couple of beats too early (As the master of escalation, Spielberg would be turning in his grave… the one he sleeps in, as penance for Crystal Skull) so we can hurry back to the stupid locust plot the film bafflingly thinks we care about.

The big face off between our (far too big) cast and the new big bad dinosaur is laughably bad, as after Alan Grant tells everyone to “not move” (something we’ve never previously been told would work with this thing) everyone, including him, just immediately run around trying to hide or climb a big ladder for some reason, and the big super evil giant dinosaur just kinda slowly lets them ponder about for a bit until Jeff Goldblum throws a stick at it.

The return of the spitty boy is pretty good though. And the new black lady is fun (something a Star Wars fan would never say. Immediately making this better and less awful - but sadly not more stupid - than any Star War) but yeah, bit of a waste IMO

But then, who thought giving the director of The Book of Henry and the writer of Pacific Rim 2: Rim Harder! Creative control of the 6th Jurassic Park film would yield amazing results!?… I mean, someone, obviously, but still.

It’s no worse than the other 2 at any rate. And Jeff seems to be having fun. And I’m not going to see the big Naval recruitment war fetishist film produced by a cult leader to cash in on Nostalgia for one of the worst plotless films of the 80s, however great it is, because I’m not a cnut… like all you cnuts. Give me stupid dinosaur shit any day*… Just preferably significantly stupider dinosaur shit.

* about how the evil military definitely shouldn’t own dinosaurs!
 
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Sylar

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Watched with 4dx. 4dx was the fun part rather than the movie

Similar, the movie could have been the same without any dinosaurs. Just the big locust plague and that's the movie

I do find it funny that dinosaurs attack you if somebody points a laser at you. If you're that good aim, and wanna kill somebody, then just shoot with a gun since you can aim

The old cast were decent as you can tell goldblum was clearly having fun

With the ending of the second and even beginning of this, it could have and should have been batshit awesome
 

RedDevilQuebecois

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Chris pratt should be finished after this. How many straight flop in a row that is?
I find it insulting that he was considered for an Indiana Jones reboot when he never looked like he's worth the entry ticket in any movie. Even in the remake of The Magnificent Seven (a really enjoyable movie overall), I thought he was meh compared to the other members of the cast considering that Pratt was supposed to be incarnating the part of Steve McQueen's 1960 character.
 

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I have no desire to see this (and I made a point of seeing the last two at the cinema - mostly to my disappointment)... but I was thinking, is there another franchise where the first film is so vastly superior to the rest of the films? And all the rest of the films are largely seen as pretty naff (though I'm a fan of Lost World, but I know a lot of people arent)
 

Simbo

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I have no desire to see this (and I made a point of seeing the last two at the cinema - mostly to my disappointment)... but I was thinking, is there another franchise where the first film is so vastly superior to the rest of the films? And all the rest of the films are largely seen as pretty naff (though I'm a fan of Lost World, but I know a lot of people arent)
Jaws? These are about the quality of Jaws 3/4/etc just with higher budget.
 

dannyrhinos89

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I have no desire to see this (and I made a point of seeing the last two at the cinema - mostly to my disappointment)... but I was thinking, is there another franchise where the first film is so vastly superior to the rest of the films? And all the rest of the films are largely seen as pretty naff (though I'm a fan of Lost World, but I know a lot of people arent)
I actually liked lost world and I even thought JP 3 was somewhat ok but its drastically downhill from there.

Nor seen this new one yet but my expectations are so low ill just try enjoy it.
 

Nickosaur

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hate what this franchise has become

raptor #1 from the first film would be rolling in her grave
 

UnrelatedPsuedo

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Jurassic Park is a masterpiece.

They borrowed the name to make 5 monster movies. When viewed as such, they’re perfectly serviceable.

The only thing that bothers me is that they spent so much money to make something that bad. The last 3 have been atrocious.
 

FrankDrebin

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Managed about 15 minutes of this stinker last night before I gave up on it.

I was hoping the film would be stupid and fun but it was just stupid, bland and depressing.
 

Mockney

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Managed about 15 minutes of this stinker last night before I gave up on it.

I was hoping the film would be stupid and fun but it was just stupid, bland and depressing.
Absolutely this. Should’ve leaned into the silly James Bond Malta sequence… instead they just took everyone to another indistinguishable jungle and fretted over bugs and clones…. Pointless waste of a premise
 

FrankDrebin

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Bryce Dallas Howard is a terrible actress, bargain basement Julian Moore, and Chris Pratt with his hand thing, wtf is that ? some dino-Jedi mind trick going on there.
 

Ludens the Red

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Wow, that was bad, like really bad. The only saving grace was Jeff Goldblum who clearly read the script and knew it would be bad so just took the piss.

Completely senseless movie. They made a huge thing about the giant locusts destroying farms and basically never revisited it until literally the end and it made no sense. All the villains in the movie get taken out within half an hour and the one that’s left is a pitiful excuse of a character.
Many gripes but a shameful end to the sequels.
 

Norman Brownbutter

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Watched this tonight... I have never said sorry to my eyeballs before, but there you have it.
 

christy87

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I’m in the middle of watching it and I have to say it’s truly shite, even the score is all over the place, big loud music just for flying a plane with no danger and it’s overly loud in general like a skit movie.
 

Jericholyte2

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What we’re the dinosaurs that were found at the lumber yard (?) that Maisie found when she went beyond the bridge at the start of the film?

Maybe I’m horrifically sentimental but that scene left me with a tear in the eye, especially when the send came out from under the snow, the music to is (Upsy-Maisie) was just beautiful.
 

diarm

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I've spent the last 20 odd years happily knowing The Happening was the worst film I have ever and would ever see.

We're 20 minutes into this and I'm beginning to suspect Walberg might have competition.
 

Meller

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I've spent the last 20 odd years happily knowing The Happening was the worst film I have ever and would ever see.

We're 20 minutes into this and I'm beginning to suspect Walberg might have competition.
What? No.
 

Salt Bailly

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What we’re the dinosaurs that were found at the lumber yard (?) that Maisie found when she went beyond the bridge at the start of the film?

Maybe I’m horrifically sentimental but that scene left me with a tear in the eye, especially when the send came out from under the snow, the music to is (Upsy-Maisie) was just beautiful.
I'm with you, this will go down as an underrated classic.