Players whose names are a lie

Eyepopper

Lowering the tone since 2006
Joined
Sep 1, 2006
Messages
66,926
Colin Hendry - that thing about him harassing chickens with a hair dryer was never proven.
 

Red Stone

Full Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2011
Messages
8,768
Location
NZ
Nick Pope - Not even a priest.
John Stones - Don't think he's stoned anyone.
Leonardo Spinazzola - To this day, Zola remains unspun.
James Maddison - Maddie died before she could have kids.
Tiemoue Bakayoko - Only John Lennon has ever backed Yoko. The rest of the world hates her.
 

WeePat

Full Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2015
Messages
17,372
Supports
Chelsea
Timmy Abraham - is actually not what you get when you order a Tammy Abraham on wish.com
 

Dwight Corke

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Dec 2, 2020
Messages
87
- Smalling is 6 foot 4
- Chris Eagles couldn't fly
- Darren Fletcher can't feather arrows
- Gareth Bale is not a haystack
- Eric Dier is still alive
- Ryan Mason can't build buggerall
 

WeePat

Full Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2015
Messages
17,372
Supports
Chelsea
This one is at least true during Ramadan.

 

Eurotrash

Full Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2005
Messages
1,820
Location
Cake or Death?
Ashley Young is the eldest in Villa's squad, by quite some margin.
Son is not even remotely related to me.
Granit Xhaka is not made of magmatic rock.
 

48 hours

Full Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2018
Messages
6,747
Location
Cheshire
Totti - wasn’t totty
Umtiti - not someone contemplating tits
Petit - wasn’t that small
Waddle - wasn’t fat enough to waddle on the pitch
Izzet - no it isn’t
 
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Green_Red

New Member
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
10,296
Dion Dublin, not actually from Dublin
Chris Eagles, can't fly
Paul Parker, not a pen
Djemba Djemba, not so good they named him twice
 

NRg

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
32
Butland - usually lands on his side while goalkeeping

Gollini - tries to keep goals coming in

Cancelo - actually proceeds with instructions from Pep

Matty Cash - most likely invests in crypto

Lewis Dunk - doesn't play basketball

Gunnarson - didn't come through Arsenal ranks

Varane - not a lizard

Max Kilman - not convicted as of the time of this post

Matt Targett - no one's aiming at him

Kortney Hause - you can't buy him as a property

Jonjoe Kenny - doesn't play with an orange parka

Rob Holding - doesn't seem to be holding Arsenal's backline really well

James Justin - I get it, he's young but he's been around for a while now

Stuart Dallas - not from Texas

Todd Cantwell - is actually doing alright

Sean Longstaff - I doubt it

Thomas Partey - doesn't bring any fun to Arsenal's midfield

Joshua King - fair to say he didn't live up to his potential, didn't even reach Prince-Boateng

Shane Long - actually pretty average height for a striker

Peter Crouch - didn't do much crouching in his career
 

sincher

"I will cry if Rooney leaves"
Joined
Sep 20, 2004
Messages
25,588
Location
YSC
Bernd Leno - undamaged by fire
Tyrone Mings - smells pretty good
Teemu Pukki - is rarely sick at all
Kelechi Iheanacho - does not own any Mexican food
Juan Mata - increasingly doesn't
Ben Chilwell - has problems relaxing
Daniel Amartey - no, you're Daniel
Max Kilman - does not murder as many people as possible
 

ThatsGreat

Full Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2016
Messages
1,651
Supports
Arsenal
Matt Targett, is neither a striker or a dart board
Matty Cash, isn't an atm machine.
 

Red Star One

Full Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2017
Messages
5,201
Location
Barcelona
Isaac Success - not too much of a success
Oscar - not even once nominated for the Academy Awards
Danny Shittu - you don’t get to play in Premier League if you’re truly shittu