DDG - I thought he'd saved it into the goal again at first. Good job for not actually doing that. I enjoyed the tactic of taking SO long to take goal kicks that when he started doing it to timewaste towards the end it was impossible to book him because he wasn't actually taking any longer than before
Young - Why does he always pointlessly pretend to have a back injury at some point in the first half?
Lindelof - Pretty sure I saw him win a header at one point.
Maguire - Actually managed to go the entire second half without even mildly annoying me...although it could have been that the pace of the game was so slow it was impossible for him to be slower. Still, the defending was good
Williams - He reminds me of the Da Silva twins. Fantastic and also terrifying at the same time.
Matic - He really wasn't that bad, although I'm not sure he moved more than about 3 inches for the whole game.
Fred - In the process of making Neville look like a massive idiot for constantly patronising him...although the main thing making Neville look an idiot as that he keeps saying idiotic things.
Pereira - Bizarre player. Spends entire games looking useless then randomly comes up with a pass or cross that it's basically impossible for anyone who's useless to do.
James - Apparently you're allowed to just hack his leg off when he's running clean through on goal now and it's not a red card and no one even acts like it should have been.
Martial - Goalscoring record is starting to look quite impressive. Overdue a haircut.
Rashford - Actually managed to beat a defender and score by falling over and then tackling himself into the goal
Subs:
- I'll be honest, I was slightly drunk and can't actually remember who the subs were. I think Shaw came on and booted the ball into someone at some point?
Burnley - I mean, they're basically Stoke except not as good at being Stoke as Stoke were.
Mike Dean - Burnley's MOTM by a mile. Can anyone explain that WIlliams booking for diving? The Burnley keeper literally did exactly the same thing about 30 seconds later and he just blew for a freekick without any hesitation. Ignored James being caught by a near knee high stud challenge when he was through on goal. Ignored Bardsley assaulting Martial on the edge of the box to stop him running through on goal, when he was already on a yellow card. Managed to award a freekick on the edge of our box to Burnley for Maguire running into the ball and then kicking it. Managed to award them another freekick which they nearly scored from for Lindelof having his shirt pulled.