rimaldo
All about the essence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2008
- Messages
- 40,842
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a collection of the origins of posters that inhabit this world.
rednome - a humble man. a humble man with fingers too large to type properly. rednome is in fact a typo. the bald one wanted us to know of his follicly challenged ways by declaring himself "reddome"when he joined the fabled caf on account of the fact his head was constantly red due to the sun and his lack of protection against it due to a lack of hair. why his hair was lost is a mystery. some say red indians scalped him. some say he lost it in a game of poker, others claim he is the offspring of weaste, a large bottle of brandy and an unfortunate, stray shynx cat called neville. this is all open to conjecture of course. all we know is this lack of hair has affected him so and all he can muster is days working alone and smoking weed as he takes photos of things from his window, too scared to venture outside due to the sun and the thought of ridicule. some say he will find his hair again someday. other's call him a cnut. some are undecided.
spammy - born and inbred in sunny liverpool spammy grew up as a street urchin. although you wouldn't know it for his modest surroundings and lack of role models other than some moustachioed scousers didn't turn him into a stereotype. he has grown up from a tearaway ragamuffin to be quite the man actually. a regular on jeremy kyle. he has been out of work for many years due to a variety of ingenious excuses, all designed to confused and confound the people at the dss and keep his benny money trickling in. a bad leg due to falling down the stairs after falling over a washing up basket placed precariously at the top of the stairs. a wounded knee after running away from some native americans who were chasing him after a bodged robbery. a lack of enthusiasm for all things manchester. tolerated and somewhat loved. he's alright for a scouser.
dr. dwayne - known to most as simply “red moose man lover”, the doc is often found skulking around the open fields of the canuck looking for “prey” as he calls them. dressed only in women’s panties he occupies the heathy growth around the edge of the fields, war paint, believed to be moose droppings, smeared across his mostly naked body and a stethoscope draped around his chicken like neck, just waiting for a moose to violate. many fear going on to the cold marshlands after dark. for their woolly attire for keeping the cold out is very similar to that of the moose and the wild doc, hepped up on goof balls and wild animalistic lust often confuses the two. one brave man escaped with his life and has this story to tell.
“yeap. it was around half 8 on a cold february night darn tooting. i moseyed on out into the fields for a walk. a strange grunting seemed to follow me as i yokelled my way across the green. all of a sudden this darn lunatic jumped from the trees and stripped me off my woolly jumper. i done a recoil in horror hot dang and saw this strange man, you know one of them homosexual types, hunched over my jumper giving it the darn humping of a life time. i yelled ‘hey man you better be at least paying for the dry cleaning’ he shot me a look with his cat like eyes and ran off like a dog into the bushes. them bushes wobbled for a good fifteen minutes hooooowey before a good few final, easier wobbles brought it to a rest”
born in the late 1940’s the doc was raised by native americans in an abandoned gold mine on the outskirts of vancover. they hailed him as a sun god due to the constant bright red rash around his genitals. he was soon cast out of the mines for his sins. his sin of trying to bribe the tribe elder with moose droppings for a quick bang of his back doors. with a limited grasp of the english tongue he found a rather large bearded lady to stalk in the city centre. he’d wait outside the doctors surgery all day, glaring at her through the windows. he’d break in at night when everyone left to smell the base of her musty chair. it was then he had his master stroke. he broke into one of the doctors office’s and stole a diploma from the wall. from that day on he passed himself off as dr. dwayne, always convincing people of his qualifications with a stolen diploma. always looking for moose to violate.
esmufc09 - just too fat to use toilets properly this poor soul defecates wherever he can find space to move. some say he faked his own death so he could gorge in mcdonalds without the hassling of millions of adoring fans. some say he’s not the real elvis, that elvis would have enough money not to live at home with his mother and just sit posting on the internet all day. a beacon of hope to all. yes you may not get the ladies and yes you may not be popular or indeed cool, but you can carve out a semblance of an existence by be e-cool. a loveable smurf and a credit to his people.
rednome - a humble man. a humble man with fingers too large to type properly. rednome is in fact a typo. the bald one wanted us to know of his follicly challenged ways by declaring himself "reddome"when he joined the fabled caf on account of the fact his head was constantly red due to the sun and his lack of protection against it due to a lack of hair. why his hair was lost is a mystery. some say red indians scalped him. some say he lost it in a game of poker, others claim he is the offspring of weaste, a large bottle of brandy and an unfortunate, stray shynx cat called neville. this is all open to conjecture of course. all we know is this lack of hair has affected him so and all he can muster is days working alone and smoking weed as he takes photos of things from his window, too scared to venture outside due to the sun and the thought of ridicule. some say he will find his hair again someday. other's call him a cnut. some are undecided.
spammy - born and inbred in sunny liverpool spammy grew up as a street urchin. although you wouldn't know it for his modest surroundings and lack of role models other than some moustachioed scousers didn't turn him into a stereotype. he has grown up from a tearaway ragamuffin to be quite the man actually. a regular on jeremy kyle. he has been out of work for many years due to a variety of ingenious excuses, all designed to confused and confound the people at the dss and keep his benny money trickling in. a bad leg due to falling down the stairs after falling over a washing up basket placed precariously at the top of the stairs. a wounded knee after running away from some native americans who were chasing him after a bodged robbery. a lack of enthusiasm for all things manchester. tolerated and somewhat loved. he's alright for a scouser.
dr. dwayne - known to most as simply “red moose man lover”, the doc is often found skulking around the open fields of the canuck looking for “prey” as he calls them. dressed only in women’s panties he occupies the heathy growth around the edge of the fields, war paint, believed to be moose droppings, smeared across his mostly naked body and a stethoscope draped around his chicken like neck, just waiting for a moose to violate. many fear going on to the cold marshlands after dark. for their woolly attire for keeping the cold out is very similar to that of the moose and the wild doc, hepped up on goof balls and wild animalistic lust often confuses the two. one brave man escaped with his life and has this story to tell.
“yeap. it was around half 8 on a cold february night darn tooting. i moseyed on out into the fields for a walk. a strange grunting seemed to follow me as i yokelled my way across the green. all of a sudden this darn lunatic jumped from the trees and stripped me off my woolly jumper. i done a recoil in horror hot dang and saw this strange man, you know one of them homosexual types, hunched over my jumper giving it the darn humping of a life time. i yelled ‘hey man you better be at least paying for the dry cleaning’ he shot me a look with his cat like eyes and ran off like a dog into the bushes. them bushes wobbled for a good fifteen minutes hooooowey before a good few final, easier wobbles brought it to a rest”
born in the late 1940’s the doc was raised by native americans in an abandoned gold mine on the outskirts of vancover. they hailed him as a sun god due to the constant bright red rash around his genitals. he was soon cast out of the mines for his sins. his sin of trying to bribe the tribe elder with moose droppings for a quick bang of his back doors. with a limited grasp of the english tongue he found a rather large bearded lady to stalk in the city centre. he’d wait outside the doctors surgery all day, glaring at her through the windows. he’d break in at night when everyone left to smell the base of her musty chair. it was then he had his master stroke. he broke into one of the doctors office’s and stole a diploma from the wall. from that day on he passed himself off as dr. dwayne, always convincing people of his qualifications with a stolen diploma. always looking for moose to violate.
esmufc09 - just too fat to use toilets properly this poor soul defecates wherever he can find space to move. some say he faked his own death so he could gorge in mcdonalds without the hassling of millions of adoring fans. some say he’s not the real elvis, that elvis would have enough money not to live at home with his mother and just sit posting on the internet all day. a beacon of hope to all. yes you may not get the ladies and yes you may not be popular or indeed cool, but you can carve out a semblance of an existence by be e-cool. a loveable smurf and a credit to his people.