Team Pre-Season Meal

Desperado

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That list is absolutely shocking, it’s not the food order of a squad that’s willing to sacrifice to win everything, that’s the order of a squad that ends up trophyless at the end of the season. It’s concerning that half of them couldn’t stay away from their chicken tempura, cheesecake and sticky toffee pudding.

But this is why I love Ronaldo and why I love that he’s back. He’s serious about his football and he’s willing to sacrifice everything to win; for everyone in the squad winning seems to be preference, for him it’s a necessity. I don’t know how they usually train but I’ll bet now that Ronaldo is around, everyone is going to be working twice as hard. Let’s see if our fitness levels improve this year…
 

Pogue Mahone

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Found someone who has no clue how athletes work. Ronaldo takes it to the extreme, in reality what he does is almost pointless. Look at GOATs in other sports. MJ literally smoked regularly. LeBron drinks wine (too much according to some). Even Tom Brady enjoys food (but has a weird diet). Eating a cheeseburger a few times a month isn't affecting their careers.
I really couldn’t give a shit about American “athletes”, whether they’re goats or sheep. I can tell you for a fact that sports scientists unanimously agree that diet and nutrition can be optimised for peak performance. And the meals in the OP are far from fecking optimal.

Obviously, an occasional cheat meal is not a problem. Neither you nor I know if this was the case here.
 

horsechoker

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Can't wait for us to lose another final so I can blame it on well-done steaks and stick toffee pudding
 

Mike Smalling

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Some people are taking these orders way to seriously - it's sort of hilarious.

Most likely this was a nice meal out to build a bit of team spirit in the off-season. I would be surprised if any of them eat like this regularly. Also, these players burn a whole lot of calories during training, so a dessert once in a while is not a catastrophe - not everyone needs a body fat percentage of 4-5% to perform. If we had actually seen issues with players gassing in the second half, I could maybe understand the reactions, but last season the team seemed super fit, and we generally performed better towards the end of games.
 

Flytan

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I really couldn’t give a shit about American “athletes”, whether they’re goats or sheep. I can tell you for a fact that sports scientists unanimously agree that diet and nutrition can be optimised for peak performance. And the meals in the OP are far from fecking optimal.

Obviously, an occasional cheat meal is not a problem. Neither you nor I know if this was the case here.
Well maybe you should since they're superior athletic freaks. And even if it were the case that they need to be optimized 100% of the time, what would be the point of being an athlete if you can't enjoy a simple meal. You think players are robots or something who base their existence on football.
 

Dante

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Have you seen the fecking meals they ordered?!? Those were not the choices of elite level athletes being obsessive about dietary intake.
Well, yeah. But it's like ordering diet coke with your burger. You know in your head that the unhealthiness of the burger is going to undo any of the benefit you're getting from the diet coke. But you do it anyway out of inculcation and in order to keep your missus quiet.

It was probably a small concession to the nutritionists who were likely sat on the next table. Which will be why there's also no battered fish, bacon fries, pepperoni pizza or onion rings on any of the wishlists.

Medium steaks might not be a big deal, logically speaking. But players are ritualistic. They'll follow the rules they know, and ignore the ones they don't.
 

Skåre Willoch

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None of them had diamonds or nuts. Sheeple the whole lot.
 

redpatron

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Found someone who has no clue how athletes work. Ronaldo takes it to the extreme, in reality what he does is almost pointless. Look at GOATs in other sports. MJ literally smoked regularly. LeBron drinks wine (too much according to some). Even Tom Brady enjoys food (but has a weird diet). Eating a cheeseburger a few times a month isn't affecting their careers.
Ronaldo also likes to look good with his shirt off, a lot of his diet is for a beach body. So he has to suffer through his meals. Micheal phelps use to eat a carb loaded diet filled with pizza, pasta, and burgers. Money Mayweather diet was Burger King, BBQ and Mountain Dew. These guys burn crazy amounts of calories, eating junk food isn't going to bother them if they put in the work.
 

11101

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Found someone who has no clue how athletes work. Ronaldo takes it to the extreme, in reality what he does is almost pointless. Look at GOATs in other sports. MJ literally smoked regularly. LeBron drinks wine (too much according to some). Even Tom Brady enjoys food (but has a weird diet). Eating a cheeseburger a few times a month isn't affecting their careers.
With the utmost respect to great sportsmen, Ronaldo would run rings around all of them in any kind of fitness or athleticism test.
 

Revan

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With the utmost respect to great sportsmen, Ronaldo would run rings around all of them in any kind of fitness or athleticism test.
Why do you think so? Basketball players seem to be far more athletic than footballers, despite being twice as large.
 

charlenefan

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Absolutely love the standards he's raising already
 

FreddieTheReddie

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Well, yeah. But it's like ordering diet coke with your burger. You know in your head that the unhealthiness of the burger is going to undo any of the benefit you're getting from the diet coke. But you do it anyway out of inculcation and in order to keep your missus quiet.
Or maybe you know that the burger contains at least 1000 kcal so you don’t want to take another pointless 300 kcal woth the coke if the diet version tastes almost the same.
 

11101

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Why do you think so? Basketball players seem to be far more athletic than footballers, despite being twice as large.
Footballers run twice as far in a shorter time. They're also not getting continually substituted, and they're doing longer sprints on a bigger field of play. Basketball players are likely more explosive but fitness wise they're miles apart.
 

Revan

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Footballers run twice as far in a shorter time. They're also not getting continually substituted, and they're doing longer sprints on a bigger field of play. Basketball players are likely more explosive but fitness wise they're miles apart.
Dunno. You see the things that Westbrook does, and then you realize that he is the same size as Ibrahimovic. The athletism looks to me in a different planet, but then, I am not an expert, just looking at them.
 

11101

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Dunno. You see the things that Westbrook does, and then you realize that he is the same size as Ibrahimovic. The athletism looks to me in a different planet, but then, I am not an expert, just looking at them.
Westbrook will play for 5 or 10 minutes then sit down for a bit. Basketball players cover 5km on a good day, in a game that lasts 2 to 3 hours all told. If your average PL footballer doesn't double that distance in the 90 minutes they'll probably find themselves staying at home the following week. Some will do 13km or more in a single game.
 

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I see an insane lack of nuts here, what the feck

also, that well done filet. Jesus Christ Almighty.
 

Dan_F

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Westbrook will play for 5 or 10 minutes then sit down for a bit. Basketball players cover 5km on a good day, in a game that lasts 2 to 3 hours all told. If your average PL footballer doesn't double that distance in the 90 minutes they'll probably find themselves staying at home the following week. Some will do 13km or more in a single game.
You are forgetting that basketball players play matches every two days. And the season is 82 games minimum. If you did distance covered over a week/month in season it probably isn’t massively different. And the distance covered in basketball is done with far more speed and intensity. Hence needing more regular breaks. They’re also moving around frames that are far heavier and bigger. It’s too simplistic to just look at distance covered per game.
 

Dwazza Gunnar Solskjær

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You are forgetting that basketball players play matches every two days. And the season is 82 games minimum. If you did distance covered over a week/month in season it probably isn’t massively different. And the distance covered in basketball is done with far more speed and intensity. Hence needing more regular breaks. They’re also moving around frames that are far heavier and bigger. It’s too simplistic to just look at distance covered per game.
The playing surface is incredibly unforgiving as well.
 

Revan

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Westbrook will play for 5 or 10 minutes then sit down for a bit. Basketball players cover 5km on a good day, in a game that lasts 2 to 3 hours all told. If your average PL footballer doesn't double that distance in the 90 minutes they'll probably find themselves staying at home the following week. Some will do 13km or more in a single game.
They also play up to 100 games per season though (regular + playoffs). That is why they get injured so often. Finally, they are in sprints for the entire game (at least the guards).
 

ChaddyP

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Someone should forward the leaked meal menu to Ronaldo. He'll slap some sense into the whole squad.
Obviously Ronaldo doesn't know he should just be eating 5k calories of nuts and avocado. Would easily maintain his physique
 

RonaldoVII

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That list is absolutely shocking, it’s not the food order of a squad that’s willing to sacrifice to win everything, that’s the order of a squad that ends up trophyless at the end of the season. It’s concerning that half of them couldn’t stay away from their chicken tempura, cheesecake and sticky toffee pudding.

But this is why I love Ronaldo and why I love that he’s back. He’s serious about his football and he’s willing to sacrifice everything to win; for everyone in the squad winning seems to be preference, for him it’s a necessity. I don’t know how they usually train but I’ll bet now that Ronaldo is around, everyone is going to be working twice as hard. Let’s see if our fitness levels improve this year…
That's a bit dramatic. They'd just finished a tough week of pre-season, I'm sure one cheat night out wouldn't hurt. You're acting like they have it every night.
 

Desperado

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That's a bit dramatic. They'd just finished a tough week of pre-season, I'm sure one cheat night out wouldn't hurt. You're acting like they have it every night.
A bit dramatic sure but nobody knows how frequently they do that.

My whole point is that these guys are at the apex of the sport where the margins for error are tiny; fitness, nutrition and training could be the difference between a 1-1 and 2-1 scoreline especially towards the end of the season. They should be held to the highest standards until offseason. I mean we were all complaining for months last season about how gassed all of our players were compared to other teams, weren’t we? Many factors play into that, like number of games played, lack of rotation etc. but fitness and nutrition play a role as well. So yeah a bit hyperbolic, but if I were a United player I would be following the Ronaldo diet every meal every day until mid-may because I’d want every advantage available to me.
 

Sandikan

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As I have pointed out a thousand times, no wonder why Shaw looks like a 42 year old office worker that jogs a bit every week. Too fat to be a professional, don’t serve him cheeseburgers ffs.
What an absolute donut of a post.
 

Champ

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Imagine how much some of these drones would lose their corn if they realised players often eat pizza straight after games.
Ranieri swore by giving his players pizza after games when Leicester won the league.

Ian Holloway was another who used to stop the team bus after Blackpool games to get pizzas in when they were in the premiership.

Happens frequently.
 

Sandikan

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Ranieri swore by giving his players pizza after games when Leicester won the league.

Ian Holloway was another who used to stop the team bus after Blackpool games to get pizzas in when they were in the premiership.

Happens frequently.
Exactly. I'm not quite sure what some people's expectations are of these players.
Even Olympians have treats for goodness sake.
 

11101

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They also play up to 100 games per season though (regular + playoffs). That is why they get injured so often. Finally, they are in sprints for the entire game (at least the guards).
The rest and recuperation in between those games makes the difference, same as the rest during the games. Basketball players are indeed excellent athletes, but when it comes to fitness footballers are on another level. It's just the nature of the sport.
 

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That list is absolutely shocking, it’s not the food order of a squad that’s willing to sacrifice to win everything, that’s the order of a squad that ends up trophyless at the end of the season. It’s concerning that half of them couldn’t stay away from their chicken tempura, cheesecake and sticky toffee pudding.

But this is why I love Ronaldo and why I love that he’s back. He’s serious about his football and he’s willing to sacrifice everything to win; for everyone in the squad winning seems to be preference, for him it’s a necessity. I don’t know how they usually train but I’ll bet now that Ronaldo is around, everyone is going to be working twice as hard. Let’s see if our fitness levels improve this year…
Unless you have the breakdowns of food eaten across pre-season and in-season for the winningest sides on the planet, you're post is based purely on assumption.

Even the most food-obsessed athletes on the planet (competitive body-builders) have cheat days.
 

Fortitude

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The rest and recuperation in between those games makes the difference, same as the rest during the games. Basketball players are indeed excellent athletes, but when it comes to fitness footballers are on another level. It's just the nature of the sport.
Although I think footballers have the edge over basketballers, you're giving a very narrow definition of fitness and basing it purely on cardio.

You put both sets of athletes on a brutal assault course that works the arms and core just as much as the legs and engine, and the footballers would be out of their comfort zone, don't you think?
 

11101

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Although I think footballers have the edge over basketballers, you're giving a very narrow definition of fitness and basing it purely on cardio.

You put both sets of athletes on a brutal assault course that works the arms and core just as much as the legs and engine, and the footballers would be out of their comfort zone, don't you think?
My original statement was pretty narrow, that footballers have superior fitness and athleticism. That if you put the 6ft9, 250lb LeBron James on a field he wouldn't see which way Ronaldo went.

Footballers run further.
They sprint more.
They're more agile.

That makes them fitter and more athletic to me.

If you wanted the stronger or more powerful, then of course it wouldn't be them.
 

Brightonian

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Found someone who has no clue how athletes work. Ronaldo takes it to the extreme, in reality what he does is almost pointless. Look at GOATs in other sports. MJ literally smoked regularly. LeBron drinks wine (too much according to some). Even Tom Brady enjoys food (but has a weird diet). Eating a cheeseburger a few times a month isn't affecting their careers.
Yep I always find it funny when people act as if pro footballers need to diet the same way Sharon at the office does. They will have a huge daily calorific intake. Fat will be burnt. You wouldn't be eating cheeseburgers for every meal but the odd one won't do any harm at all.
 

Revan

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My original statement was pretty narrow, that footballers have superior fitness and athleticism. That if you put the 6ft9, 250lb LeBron James on a field he wouldn't see which way Ronaldo went.

Footballers run further.
They sprint more.
They're more agile.

That makes them fitter and more athletic to me.

If you wanted the stronger or more powerful, then of course it wouldn't be them.
Are footballers more agile, really? Check some videos of Stephen Curry. Then realize that he is the same height as Lukaku. Or check Durant who is half a foot taller than Ibrahimovic. I do not see in any way how footballers are more agile than elite basketball players.
 

Fortitude

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My original statement was pretty narrow, that footballers have superior fitness and athleticism. That if you put the 6ft9, 250lb LeBron James on a field he wouldn't see which way Ronaldo went.

Footballers run further.
They sprint more.
They're more agile.

That makes them fitter and more athletic to me.

If you wanted the stronger or more powerful, then of course it wouldn't be them.
Putting a basketballer on a football pitch is as inconclusive as putting footballers on a basketball court; it's not a measure of anything other than them being specialists in their chosen profession. Running a literal fitness test between the differing sportsmen of the same height and weight is at least some kind of barometer, but what that fitness test consists of, one would think, could pre-determine the results.

If it's cardio, like you seem to be solely basing it on, then footballers are likely to sweep. If it's an actual fitness test - a measure of completeness - then I don't know who would fare better, but the natural advantages of the footballer are severely curtailed, as no matter how much you run, it doesn't tell you a thing about how many chin-ups, sit-ups, press-ups, arm strength or core strength you have.
 

led_scholes

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Didn't Doncic and the whole Slovenian team drink vodka and smoke cigars during the Olympics?

Athletes do have their days offs. Ronaldo is an extreme. The other extreme is Anderson. Obviously eating pizza every day is going to harm you in the long run, yet eating a pizza every now and then is definitely fine for them (and everyone).