The Omegle Collection

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
Alright, on the request of several newbies and a few mains posters, I've made a collection of my Omegle chats in one place, as opposed to being spread out over a thousand posts.

I thought I had gone past the 100 barrier but I haven't. When I do I will stop making them.

Read through them and leave a comment, but please if you have an Omegle chat to post, use SATAs thread.
 

Hectic

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Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: hello
Stranger: hi
You: Battle to the death?
Stranger: yeah!
You: [EQUIP SWORD] Slashes strangers face
You: aha!
Stranger: cnut :(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Female or male, tell me right now!
Stranger: i'm a male, 23, nerd, virgin
You: Elvis?
Stranger: no
You: I bet it is.
Stranger: Harry
You: You post on redcafe don't you.
Stranger: no
You: 2 out of 3 of those facts about you are the same as Elvis.
You: It's me, Hectic, your father.
You: You little nerd you.
You: Trying to act older
Stranger: 23 years - little?
You: No....its those little nerdy glasses you wear
You: How come you haven't been posting today
Stranger: i don't wear glasses
You: Yes you do.
Stranger: no i don't
You: Anyway, have you seen the BSG thread?
You: Shut it elvis.
You: I know you do.
You: So.
You: As I was saying,
Stranger: btard?
You: Oh elvis, you and your silly humour.
Stranger: you are making me confused
You: You always were.
You: Especially in the Newbies.
You: I remember those times well, and now you are Solius bitch.
You: Strange times.
You: Humble times.
Stranger: yes, i suppose it is, and I am :(
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
Stranger: yo
You: So, I was like feck her.
You: You know?
Stranger: dude
Stranger: i know
You: damn right
You: I was like. feck YOU!
You: I was like, bitch I will slap you, with both hands.
Stranger: the good ones can be the worst ones
Stranger: oh yeah? the 'ol doubleslap?
You: And she was like, yeah? YEAH?
Stranger: YEAAAHHHH!
Stranger: What did you do man, you set her dumb ass straight!!!!!
You: Then I went to slap her, and she caught my wrist and threw me against the wall.
You: I tried to get up but she clocked me straight out.
You: I went to the police but they won't help me.
You: She abuses me dude.
Stranger: wait
Stranger: wtf????? WTF????
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: I use my right hand to say Hello, and my left hand to say feck off.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


10 Straight disconnects, no responses. Record set.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey
Stranger: hello
You: Let's type backwards, c'mon it will be fun!
Stranger: Ko. Siht si adnik nuf!!!
You: You are unbelievably retarded, I hope you are happy with yourself.
Stranger: No, I'm not :(:(
You: Now. Be gone!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello
Stranger: hi!!
You: You left the oven on, your house is burning down.
Stranger: really? oh no!!!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hey there
You: Are you male or female, I demand to be told now!
Stranger: female lol
You: Good. That means I have the upper hand.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

She left before I could say I was joking.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey
Stranger: hey!
You: Imagine the best thing that can happen to you, the wildest dream come true and all of your problems are gone forever, can you imagine that for just one second?
Stranger: ok....I'm imagining it
You: Are you basking in the bliss, now I've got something to tell you about your future Sophie, because all those things you imagined....They can come true.
Stranger: but my names not Sophia!
You: What is it then?
Stranger: Cassie.
You: Oh. Sorry Cassie, wrong reading. I've got it now, Cassie, here we go.
Stranger: *Waits excitedly*
You: Your dog is going to die tomorrow.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello.
Stranger: howdy hun!
You: I take it you are a woman deary?
Stranger: lol I am indeed.
You: Pick a number between 1 and 5.
Stranger: 3.
You: No! Don't type it out. Think again.
Stranger: Ok.
You: Is it 3?
Stranger: lol how did you know!!!
You: It's a numbers game, as a man, I'm always odds on to out think you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Again, I hope I can meet her again to say I was kidding!
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello slave.
Stranger: erm Hello.
You: I am the king, you are my slave
Stranger: I didnt come on here to be made someones slave.
You: I know, such is fate that you were given false presences to lead you to enslavement on a website.
Stranger: Its not very fair though is it. Why cant i be king and you be the slave?
You: Because you are a facecunt.
Stranger: :(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello.
Stranger: hi
You: I want to piss on you!
Stranger: not again
You: Again?
You: What do you mean again??
You: Are you the girl from the video????
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there
Stranger: heya
You: Want to chat horny style?
Stranger: why not. you go first though!!!
You: I raise a hand, slowly and with great intention, I reach out and place my Pawn two steps forward. I eagerly anticipate your move.
Stranger: ok.....mmm....I step closer to you....I go to kiss you.
You: Incorrect move.
Stranger: what???
You: You can't make that move in Chess. Incorrect move.
Stranger: chess? what the feck?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hi there.
Stranger: Hello.
Stranger: how are you?
You: Not bad thanks, a little tired.
Stranger: how come?
You: I've been doing a fund raising for charity all day, it's got to me a bit.
Stranger: Awwww that's sweet though hun, I'd sponser you!
You: You don't know what activity I'm doing though.
Stranger: Im sure its nice, what is it?
You: I'm battering teenagers for a good, 6-8 hours a day.
Stranger: woah? battering?? as in beating?
You: Yep, tough stuff.
Stranger: You are sick!
You: You are sicker though, you are sponsoring me.
Stranger: i take it back, I take it back!!!!!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: This is intense.
Stranger: Hi! whats intense?
You: This. It's fecking intense.
Stranger: this chat?
You: Intense man.
Stranger: yeah it is I guess, whats up?
You: I'm tense.
Stranger: Ok. Where you from.
You: Can't say, it's too intense.
Stranger: You are kinda freakin me out
You: I know, it's getting intense.
Stranger: stop it.
You: Can't......In.....tense
Stranger: WTF'S wrong with you, stop that shit.
Stranger: damn it
Stranger: Hello?
Stranger: are you still here, whats going on???
You: I'm back. That was intense.
Stranger: feck #%&5554!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Good Evening User, you are speaking to a Omegle ChatGuide.
Stranger: a what?
You: A ChatGuide, we monitor the Omegle rooms for abuse and spam-users.
Stranger: Sure you are.
You: I don't mind, you don't have to believe me. However, On my Omegle Moderation Panel I can isolate your IP and browse through your chat history and demonstrate.
Stranger: no you cant, if you can, prove it
You: I gave it a quick skim, amongst a short temper and perhaps more interesting, you seem to be into homosexual roleplay.
Stranger: wtf!!
You: Well that's what I can see unless someone else uses your computer.
Stranger: are you really a chatguide?
You: Yes, I wasn't messing around.
Stranger: what else does it say?? My bro uses this pc the most.
You: I can't go into it, but I think we've found the source then.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there.
Stranger: Hello!!
You: I feel like having a nice long chat, can you help me out?
Stranger: sure thing! where do you want to start.
Stranger: ....
Stranger: ??
Stranger: Hello?
You: Sorry about that, I had to go for a
Stranger: for a.......
Stranger: ??
Stranger: where are you?
You: Really sorry about that again.
Stranger: its alright, so where we.
You: Ah yes, lets have a chat. So, here's where it all starts;
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ???
Stranger: I can't keep waiting!
Stranger: are you messing with me??
Stranger: i want to hear this story but you keep going!!!
You: I can't apologize enough, very Hectic day.
Stranger: its alright. SO! where were you.
You: Thanks for waiting all this time, I appreciate you not leaving!
Stranger: no probs
Stranger: ??
Stranger: not again, where do you keep going!!!!
You: And I pull it out, and it squirts all over your hair!!!! mmmmmmm.
You: Sorry, wrong conversation.
Stranger: THATS WHAT YOU BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hi there.
Stranger: hello, whats up?
You: Nothing much, fancy a game?
Stranger: What kind of game?
You: Guess who, you have to guess who I am in 15 questions. Alright?
Stranger: Alright. Are you a man?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Are you famous?
You: Yes.
Stranger: are you very rich?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Are you from America?
You: Yes.
Stranger: are you an actor?
You: Yes.
Stranger: im good at this.
Stranger: Have you got any hair?
You: Yes.
Stranger: Is it black?
You: Yes.
Stranger: are you white?
You: Yes.
Stranger: are you Tom Cruise?
You: No.
Stranger: hmmm, do you have glasses?
You: No.
Stranger: Are you older then 40.
You: No.
Stranger: Have you starred in a major film this year?
You: No.
Stranger: Are you ryan reynolds?
You: No.
Stranger: are you married?
You: No.
You: That's it, you didn't get it, took a long time but you didn't get it.
Stranger: damn damn damn, I must of been close though, who was it?
You: It was stone.
Stranger: Stone who?
You: No, you had to guess who I am, I'm a stone. Like a rock, but more of a stone.
Stranger: a fecking stone? how the feck am I meant to guess that, what were the questions for then?
You: To mislead you encase you guess I was a stone.
Stranger: how could i guess you were a feckING STONE!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there.
Stranger: hiya, how are you?
You: Good thanks, fancy playing a little game?
Stranger: ok, what is it?
You: Describe to me in vivid detail what you can see around you and I have to guess what it is, then it's my go.
Stranger: sounds fun, ok. I can see four walls, pink curtains and loads of little bears!
You: Easy, you are in your bedroom.
Stranger: Yup! your go!
You: From my position, I can see a door straight ahead, there's a single window to my left, an array of various papers around me, and if I look directly down, I can see a small object in the distance swimming across a circular lake!
Stranger: Hmmmmm, this is fun, but hard, are you at work near a lake maybe?
You: I'm taking a shit and looking right at it.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello!
Stranger: Hi
You: I like this place, it's very anonymous, you can say anything you like!
Stranger: Yeah its pretty cool used it today for the first time.
You: Oh really, I've been a regular here for months, we all tell each other our inner-most secret and no-one traces it back to you. It's cool.
You: Try it out, tell me something you wouldn't tell a single person who you know in real life.
Stranger: Why not! alright, if Im honest the one thing I kept to myself, since it happened. purely from embarrassment, is that I only have one testicle, a result of a nasty childhood accident, only my family knows.
You: Doesn't it feel better to get that off your chest to someone else?
Stranger: you know what, I think it does.
You: Still can't feel that good, after all, you only have one bollock.
Stranger: :(
Stranger: Your turn then, tell me something you wouldnt tell anyone else!!
You: Fair is fair. Alright, this one has been troubling me for a while, I know this guy who only has one testicle, and I can't take anything he says seriously!
Stranger: cnut
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there.
Stranger: Hey
You: You up for a bit of fun and play?
Stranger: yes x
You: Excellent, you start.
Stranger: I start to take my clothes off.....
You: Wait wait.
Stranger: ...
You: Let me set the scene first.
Stranger: good idea hun!
You: We are alone, surrounded by nature itself
Stranger: i like it baby
You: I turn to you, I look deep into your eyes. I take your hand in mine and guide it to my other, I place something in your hand and let you go.
Stranger: opens hand to look at what it is.
You: It is a ring.
Stranger: a wedding ring hun?
You: One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Chapter 2.
Stranger: lord of the rings????? are you fecking kidding me!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hey, whats your name?
You: Simon.
Stranger: hello Simon.
You: Simon says disconnect.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there!
Stranger: hey x
You: Are you up for a bit of sex fun?
Stranger: when you put it like that!
You: I look at you from across the room, you look magnificent, you catch my eye, and we both feel something.
Stranger: I glide across the room slowly, sweeping through on a bed of smoke, i lift up my dress a little bit, revealing long beautiful legs
You: I look you up and down, wondering how such a vision can exist.
Stranger: I start breathing heavily, i am so close to you
You: I can almost touch you, I reach out to take your arm, I over-extend, miscalculating the distance, I begin to fall and before I right myself, in a moment of sheer panic and horror, I shit myself a little bit.
You: ....
You: Are we going to be able to work around this, or is this a conversation-ender?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hi!
You: Give me an 'I'
Stranger: I
You: Give me an 'm'
You: Don't hesitate, just spell it out!
Stranger: m
You: Give me an 'A'
Stranger: where is this going?
Stranger: a
You: Give me an 'W'
Stranger: w
You: Give me an 'a'
Stranger: a
You: Give me an 'n'
Stranger: n
You: Give me an 'k'
Stranger: k
You: Give me an 'e'
Stranger: e
You: Give me an 'r'
Stranger: r
You: There we go, spell it out.
Stranger: Im a wanker.
You: Couldn't have said it better myself.
Stranger: that was it?
You: Call it a freebie.
Stranger: Well Ive got a chant for you!
Stranger: Give me a 'I'
You: Sorry, don't have the time.
You have disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hey.
You: Where you from, may I ask?
Stranger: england f
You: Ah me to, can't believe I'm chatting on here at 12:30am!!
Stranger: 12:30? it's only 11:30 though!!
You: Nope, clocks went forward again.
Stranger: seriously?
You: Yep, they went forward the other week, but at 11pm earlier tonight they went forward again, it's normally 2nd of April that clocks usually go forward, so this was unusual. Confused a hell of a lot of people.
Stranger: I cant believe it! I just lost an hour. Ive got to get up in 6 hours now, feck!
You: Tell me about it, it seems hardly anyone knows, its going to be another late morning for workers all round it seems!
Stranger: :(
Stranger: well, I set my lappy clock right and i put my alarm earlier so I should be good.
You: Good thinking.
Stranger: well, im going to bed now seen as I lost a damn hour!!
You: Haha...fair enough...Hope you aren't the only in for work on time tomorrow!
Stranger: me too!
Stranger: thanks as well!! xx
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there.
Stranger: heya!
You: Hows it going?
Stranger: very good, you up for some fun?
You: It's usually me who has to ask, let's see, yes.
Stranger: you wanna start?
You: Sure.
You: I twirl you around so your back is facing the table, I hold you in my arms.
Stranger: i move in closer to you, looking into your eyes as I inch closer....
You: I find my target, my hands settle on a box behind you on the table, I bring it around and give it to you. Open it my sweet.
Stranger: looks at box with wide eyes, opens it excited
You: Ooooooooh! That's the 250,000 box my dear, the biggest of the power 5 is out of the game.
Stranger: huh?
You: - Takes off mask, Cue lights and studio applause! Thank you for joining me, Noel Edmonds, on Deal or No deal!
Stranger: Deal or no deal.....noel edmonds....wtf....WTF
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there.
Stranger: hi
You: are you a man or a woman, if you don't mind me asking?
Stranger: woman lol
You: I have some derren brown like skills if you will let me try them out on you!
Stranger: I love db lol
You: Evidently, 'db'.
Stranger: he he
You: Alright, first I need you to indulge me in a deep secret of yours, it's all anonymous so be truthful and honest, or frankly my trick won't work.
Stranger: ok, but first, what is the trick?
You: I am going to use your secret, to let you know something about yourself, something shocking and deeply meaningful to you, and it would be made all that bit more special because of this anonymity.
Stranger: ok lol, sounds amazing!
Stranger: right, I once kissed a good friend of mine, shes a girl and no-one knows.
You: Excellent.
Stranger: So, what does it mean?
You: It means, you are a Lesbian.
Stranger: lol.
Stranger: ....
Stranger: For real?
Stranger: thats it for real?
You: You won't like the other thing I know from your secret though.
Stranger: well what is it, it must be better then calling me a lesbian.
You: Well, I'm nearly 100% sure the other girl, your friend, looks better then you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey.
Stranger: Hello!
You: What's up?
Stranger: nothing much, this stupid window isnt opening properly and the text is coming up all weird
You: Oh I had that problem, you just need to turn off your router and restart your computer. It's a software bug in the first release, some users are trying the beta so they don't get the problem, but now it's invitation only.
Stranger: oh right, sounds a bit confusing. So what do I have to do?
You: Basically, is the router near you?
Stranger: yep
You: Good, well, all you need to do is unplug the router or turn it off from the mains, restart your computer. If it still persists, then the update didn't work and you need to uninstall your browser, and try again.
Stranger: damn, this is what you had to do?
You: First time over yep, it's very easy though, and I'm sure it will work after you restart, and if it doesn't, then come back here and just type in 'User: Hectic' when you next chat. I will get a message telling me you've come online and I'll help you out again!
Stranger: ok cool, thats pretty nice of you man, im not too good with computers haha!
You: I can see that haha.
You: You better do that stuff now anyway.
Stranger: yep im about to turn the router off, cya later Hectic!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there,
Stranger: hey hun
You: I've got a trick, but you have to work with me.
Stranger: I love tricks
You: I'm sure you do, but that's another story.
Stranger: haha
You: Right, look into my eyes.
Stranger: *looks straight into you eyes
You: That's good.
Stranger: it is?
You: Hold it, hold it, keep looking, hold that position
Stranger: *holds
You: Dead ahead, look straight, deep into my eyes, I'm close.
Stranger: *waits for the trick, cant wait!!
Stranger: keeps looking straight
You: Nearly done!
You: SPLAT!!
Stranger: what was that?
You: I don't think you want to know, and I don't think you should look in the mirror either.
Stranger: OMG!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

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Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello there.
Stranger: Rooooonaldoooooooo!!!!!
You: Ah, a Brazittian.
Stranger: Brazillian
You: Brazittian yes.
Stranger: noo, brazillian
You: Yes, Brazittian.
Stranger: Rooonaldooooooo
You: Is dead.
Stranger: no he not. rooooonaldoooo!
You: Is dead.
Stranger: stop that
You: Ronaldo.
You: Is dead.
Stranger: stop it now. STOP IT NOW. RONALDOOOOO
You: ...
You: Is dead.
Stranger: ronaldo not dead you fuuking feck
You: Did you say Ronaldo?
Stranger: yes
You: Is dead.
Stranger: STOP MOTHERfeck ROnalldo
You: Is dead. Brazittian Ronaldo is dead.
Stranger: please stop, stop now, i dont like, rnaldo isnt dead.
You: Is dead.
Stranger: feck nooooooooooo.
You: Alright, let's start over.
You: Hi, what's your name.
Stranger: hi, im ronaldo.
You: Is dead.
Stranger: i hate you and kill myself
You: Is dead.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Welcome to Omegle Chat, I'm your ChatGuide, Hectic.
Stranger: Hello, are you really a CG?
You: I am indeed, I've been busy tonight, a lot of activity.
Stranger: ah, can you help me?
You: I can try. What's the problem?
Stranger: sometimes the window freezes after people disconnect, or sometimes randomly.
You: Are you using Internet Explorer?
Stranger: yes I am.
You: Aha, I would recommend upgrading to Firefox or Opera for this particular service, it runs twice as smooth on those browsers since we changed the server.
Stranger: Ah! ill give that a try actually.
You: I'm looking into your Log now and I can see that your page times-out a lot. Perhaps you have a firewall, or IE is blocking something out, an upgrade should fix that completely.
Stranger: Thanks!
You: No problem. However, I've browsed through your chat history and I've come across some disturbing conversations....
Stranger: you are allowed to see our chat history???
You: Yes, it's part of the reason we are allowed to run this chat service, so we can monitor independent users and report them if necessary.
Stranger: Report??
Stranger: Look, im not the only one who uses this computer ok, my brother and my sister both use it as much as me, and this site is bookmarked so anyone could of used it.
You: At this point, It doesn't matter who used your computer at the time.
Stranger: please dont report me....i was only kidding and i thought this was a stranger site so you could say anything. its only messing about, please Hectic.
You: I'm afraid you have breached our T&C repeatedly, and as a ChatGuide I have to report you to the relevant authorities. I have your IP Address and I have notified your Operator.
Stranger: fecksake come on please i will do anything, im begging you!!
You: It's too late.
Stranger: omg
You: I advise you to delete your private history, that's the least you can do.
Stranger: is this a joke?
You: I'm serious, and after reading some of those Chat Logs, you should be too.
Stranger: omg omg omfg
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


:lol:

What a complete spastic.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello there.
Stranger: hey!
You: fancy a bit of keyboard sex?
Stranger: haha im not very good at cybering
You: Me neither, but let's give it a go anyway.
Stranger: ok
You: Can I start please babe?
Stranger: sure
You: I'm sorry boss.
Stranger: sorry about what?
You: I'm so tired. So so tired boss.
Stranger: what? why are you calling me boss.
You: You can call me John Coffey, boss.
Stranger: ooook, so do you want to start?
You: Yes, sir Boss, like the drink only not spelt the same.
Stranger: ....
You: Just my name boss. J-O...
Stranger: i thought your name was jc?????
You: I helped it. Didn't I help it? I just took it back, is all. Awful tired now, boss. Dog tired.
Stranger: this is realy familiar, i dont know what it is.
You: Don't know. To tell the truth, Boss, I don't know much o' anything.
You: Boss? I gots to speak with you now, Boss.
Stranger: wait a minute, have you been quoting green mile quotes at me all this time?
Stranger: why??
Stranger: wtf i thought you wanted cyber????
You: I couldn't help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Stranger: stop that now its very sad and its upsetting me
You: Yes, Boss. Don't hardly remember, ma'am.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello!
Stranger: hi whats up
You: redcafe?
Stranger: lol haha yeah I do go no there
You: What's your user name?
Stranger: havent joined up yet just lurk really
You: I'm Hectic.
Stranger: seriously? wtf!! i was just reading your thread on this
You: I didn't make a thread, Sata did.
Stranger: is it really you???
You: You should join up. Yes, I'm a moderator on there, I smoke, and yesterday I lied that I was Canadian.
Stranger: lololol i read that!!!
You: So, you wanted to ask one question?
Stranger: yes yes yes please!!!
You: Go right ahead, I've got all the time in the world.
Stranger: thanks!
You have disconnected.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: This is intense.
Stranger: Hi! whats intense?
You: This. It's fecking intense.
Stranger: this chat?
You: Intense man.
Stranger: yeah it is I guess, whats up?
You: I'm tense.
Stranger: Ok. Where you from.
You: Can't say, it's too intense.
Stranger: You are kinda freakin me out
You: I know, it's getting intense.
Stranger: stop it.
You: Can't......In.....tense
Stranger: WTF'S wrong with you, stop that shit.
Stranger: damn it
Stranger: Hello?
Stranger: are you still here, whats going on???
You: I'm back. That was intense.
Stranger: feck #%&5554!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: Hello there.
Stranger: hi!
You: This is crazy.
Stranger: tell me about it had loads of crazy people on here haha!!
You: Proper crazy.
Stranger: yep
You: Crazy.
Stranger: yesterday someone went mental and kept saying it was intense! i was like wtf...
You: That is crazy.
Stranger: ...
Stranger: hello?
You: Sorry, door bell went, fecking crazy intense over here.
Stranger: omg
You: I know.....It's crazy.
Stranger: who the feck are you are whats your problem
You: I'm crazy, and my problem is it's Intense.
Stranger: stop tjis shit please.
You: Intense man.
Stranger: feck offf wtf is wrong with you n how do i keep getting you?
You: It's crazy intense.
Stranger: AAAAAARRRHHHHB you are a cnut.
You: Don't go crazy at me, I'm already intense enough as it is.
Stranger: im going
You: Don't blame you.
You: I would do the same mate.
Stranger: are you going to speak normally now ??
Stranger: still there???
You: feck me that was intense. Thought you were going to leave.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


It was only a matter of time before I bumped into someone from yesterday!

:lol:
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey, what's up.
Stranger: hey there nm you?
You: A bit bored really, just listening to some music.
Stranger: anyone I know?
You: How would I know?
Stranger: lol i dont know
You: It's a guy called Shad, a bit of relaxed Hip-Hop.
Stranger: sounds cool. im listening to Micheal jackson wooooooo!!
You: I've got some funny MJ jokes if you want to hear them?
Stranger: are they bad jokes?
You: Not at all, in fact, these ones actually put MJ in a better light.
Stranger: cool, shoot!
You: What is the difference between acne and Micheal Jackson? Acne doesn't "come" on your face until you are 13.
Stranger: ewwwwwwwww!
You: That was a sick one just to mess you about!
You: Let me tell you the non-offensive ones!
Stranger: oook, but that one was horrible!
You: What's the difference between MJ and a grocery bag?
One's white, made from plastic, and harmful to children, the other you carry your groceries in.
Stranger: i dont get it
You: That's probably a good thing.
You: When is it bedtime at Neverland Ranch? When the big hand is on the little hand.
Stranger: awww thats not nice is it?
You: It's better then this though.....
You: What's the hardest stain to get out of little boy's underpants? MJ's make-up.
You: That was a bad one.
Stranger: noooooo thats horrible!!!!
Stranger: where are these nice jokes
Stranger: ??
You: I've got them now.
You: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A Michael Jackson slumber party.
You: Wait wait!
You: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper? Michael Jackson’s hand.
Stranger: i think im gonna be sick
Your conversational partner has disconnected
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there!
Stranger: hey xxx
You: aha, a member of the opposite sex, fancy a little internet-bang?
Stranger: a what?
You: Internet Bang - A cyber fist - A little ADSL DP.
Stranger: cyber lol ok but nothing too crazy!!
You: I agree, it's good to lay down some foundations.
Stranger: ok
You: I look into your -
You: What color are you eyes?
Stranger: deep blue!
You: I look into your deep blue eyes, and my heart stops still for a moment, such a breathtaking vision in front of me, my defences collapse instantly.
Stranger: i smile up at you and place a soft kiss on your lips
You: I move slowly into you, taking your body in my arms.
Stranger: mmmm
You: I twirl you around and ask you to close your eyes.
Stranger: I close my eyes
You: I put my hands into yours.
You: Open your eyes.
Stranger: opens my eyes
Stranger: what is it?
You: Look down at my hands.
Stranger: looks down....hearts beating fast
You: It's Gangrene.
Stranger: wat
You: I've got Gangrene hands.
Stranger: thats fecking disgusting
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hey there!!!
Stranger: heya :)
You: Fancy helping me out with my new chant, it's fun fun!
Stranger: lol why not
You: Just follow me and don't stop till we are done, I want to try and get through this with no mistakes. Are you with me?
Stranger: Yes!
You: I SAID ARE YOU WITH ME???
Stranger: YES!!!!!!
You: Calm down.
Stranger: lol
You: Give me a 'e'
Stranger: e!
You: Give me a 'r'
Stranger: r!!!
You: Give me a 'o'
Stranger: o!
You: Give me a 'h'
Stranger: h!
You: Give me a 'W'
Stranger: w!!
You: We have to be quicker then this!!!
You: Give me a 'd'
Stranger: d
You: Give me a 'e'
Stranger: e
You: Give me a 's'
Stranger: s!
You: Give me a 's'
Stranger: s!!
You: Give me a 'e'
Stranger: e
You: Give me a 'f'
Stranger: f
You: Give me a 'n'
Stranger: n
You: Give me a 'o'
Stranger: o
You: Give me a 'C'
Stranger: c
You: Nearly done
Stranger: im confused lol
You: Give me a 'f'
Stranger: f!!
You: Give me a 'l'
Stranger: l!
You: Give me a 'e'
Stranger: e
You: Give me a 'S'
Stranger: s!!!
You: And..........done.
Stranger: wohoooooo!!! that took forever lol, even tho it doesnt make sense! whats next???
You: You tell me, you're the self-confessed whore.
Stranger: excuse me?
You: That's what it says above, in your own words.
Stranger: no it doesnt
You: Have a look at it backwards.
Stranger: omfg
You: Always read the small print.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello friend.
Stranger: im not your friend pal,
You: I'm not your pal, buddy!
Stranger: im not your buddy friend
You: I'm not your friend, pal!
Stranger: im not our pal, buddy
You: I'm not your buddy, friend!
Stranger: im not your friend pal
You: I'm not your pal, buddy!
Stranger: im not a cnut
You: Juries out on that one.
Stranger: cnut!
Stranger: hahahahaahahahha
Stranger: .....
Stranger: hello?
Stranger: i was only joking!!!
Stranger: ...............
Stranger: wheretf are you
Stranger: ????
Stranger: buddy?
Stranger: pal?????
Stranger: friend????
Stranger: heeelllooo? please come back
You: I'm back, I'm back!
Stranger: where did you go man.
Stranger: i been waiting here for fukin ages!!!!!
You: Jury came back, turns out you are a cnut.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello stranger!
Stranger: heeey x
You: Can I offer you a bit of a sleezy naughty chat?
Stranger: nice way of putting it
You: Subtle.
Stranger: im not sure, i only came on to check this site out
You: Go on, it won't take long my sweet.
Stranger: lol! ok
You: We are sitting down, I pull you close to me, I whisper sweet nothings in you ear......
Stranger: I push in close to you my long hair falling on your shoulders as we touch
You: I unzip my jeans and push your head down, and moan in ecstasy.
Stranger: i go up and down, i keep eye contact and feel you in my mouth
You: Suddenly, I finish abruptly all over you, I stand up, leaving you kneeling on the floor, juices dripping, I shout 'This is my stop!' and get off the train. Onlookers turn around and face you with disgust.
Stranger: I WOULD NEVER DO THAT U SICK feck
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 

Hectic

account not controlled by niall
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
71,902
You: Hello my sweet.
Stranger: Hello my darling
Stranger: hows life
You: Divine
You: My little butternut turkey.
You: Have they been feeding you well?
Stranger: hihih
You: My spring chicken.
Stranger: yes!
You: My roasted lamb cobbler.
Stranger: ok
You: My minted Cornetto surprise.
Stranger: what?
You: My rampant beef.
Stranger: what does that even mean
You: My over-dosed spring onion.
Stranger: these arent real dishes
Stranger: what are you talking about
You: My little cutlet of flapjack.
Stranger: wtf is that
You: Have they been feeding you well?
You: Have they been feeding you well my dear?
You: Have they?
You: Have they been feeding you?
Stranger: i suppose they have
You: My little garlic sprout.
Stranger: not again
You: My parma ham joint.
Stranger: that was funny, but please no more
You: My coffee bean queen.
Stranger: are you a robot?
You: My battered apple.
You: My cultured carrot.
You: My beetroot baby.
Stranger: how are you doing this so fast.
Stranger: omg im losing my mind
You: Have they fed you well?
You: Have they?
Stranger: yes master, they have fed me well.
Stranger: yes ok yes. yes yes yes yers god damn yes!!
Stranger: i dont no what im waiting for. or why im even still here
Stranger: ......
Stranger: well?
You: Have they been feeding you well my dear?
Stranger: YES THEY HAVE BEEN feckING FEEDING ME WELL
You: My peach bonanza.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.