The RedCafe Annual Awards 2011 | First Page Edited With Insults


The one and only
Nov 28, 2006

Best poster 2011: Mockney
Worst poster 2011: Kelvin
Most under-rated poster 2011: rcoobc
Most improved poster 2011: Mockney
Poster you'd meet for a drink 2011: moses
Creepiest Poster 2011: Weaste
Poster who should have posted more 2011: Plech
Most clueless poster 2011: Devilish
Best non-United poster 2011: pete
Most annoying non-United poster 2011: pete
Fanboy of the Year 2011: wr8
Agenda Poster of the year 2011: Randall
Transfer Muppet of the Year 2011: wr8
Biggest Whiner 2011: Randall
Biggest liar 2011: TMRD
Best E-Fight 2011: Boss v Brwned
Poster who is usually drunk or stoned the most whilst posting 2011: Popper
Funniest Poster 2011: rimaldo
Funniest Post 2011: Plech's All turn to Kopites
Nice guy award 2011: SteveJ
CE Forum Essay writer of the Year 2011: Team Rupert GB
CE Forum Nazi of the Year 2011: Team Rupert GB
Grumpy Old Git of the Year 2011: Randall

Most helpful Mod/Admin 2011: Sults
Least Helpful Mod/Admin 2011: Dwayne
Best Banning 2011: Scholesy
Worst Banning 2011: Cold Zebra
Regular who'd make a good Mod: R_Nick

Best Newbie 2011: SteveJ
Worst Newbie promoted 2011: Kid_Cunto

Best thread 2011: Attack the Space
Worst thread 2011: Werewolf
Best Caf Moment 2011: Attack the Space
Worst Caf Moment 2011: Googlegate
Departed/Banned user who should come back: Spammy
Biggest Spammer 2011: wr8
Most Racist Poster 2011: rednev
Biggest WUM 2011: Baz
Rant of the Year 2011: Boss 'Can I live?'
Brad award for Drama Queen of the Year 2011: Boss
Keyboard warrior of the Year 2011: Boss/Lance
Most likely to resemble online persona in real life: MUM
Top Red of the Year 2011: Ralphie
Best Windup of the Year 2011: Geebs' The newbs is closing
Worst Windup of the Year 2011: friendlytramp

Redcafe lifetime achievement award: Spoony

Evening, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, Forev and Weaste, and welcome to the RedCafe Annual Awards 2011. The votes have been cast and counted, bribes accepted and spent and all that remains is to announce the winners. If you don’t see your name on the list don’t worry, it either means you aren’t even good enough to get recognition on an internet forum or that you actually have a life outside of this place. So you’ve got that, that’s safe.

But for those of you who have won, just remember that as a very famous mentalist once said, “Fame is a mask that eats into the face”. Winning tonight might make you feel like you’re ten feet tall, your head will be filled with thoughts of important or glamorous parties (that you will never be invited to) or that you might one day be able to have full sex with a woman but I’m here to tell you that won’t ever happen. The only thing a RedCafe award gets you is recognition from a bunch of people whose greatest achievement is having the internet (and also 15% off in participating Little Chef restaurants).

We’re going to try get through these reasonably quickly and you’ll see that for a few of them we haven’t bothered doing two presentations as the same person has won two pretty similar awards and/or we couldn’t be arsed doing another one for them. Good luck to all involved and remember; there’s always next year. For most of you.

Hugs and Kisses

Fade to black with some Black Eyed Peas song playing in the background. Probably that one about getting things started, but they're all good really.


Yaaas Broncos!
Apr 6, 2009
Yo Brophs, Brophs, I'ma let you finish, but Kid Cunto was one of the worst newbies of ALL TIME!


Clare Baldings Daughter plays too much Wordscapes
Feb 7, 2008
Yo Brophs, Brophs, I'ma let you finish, but Kind Cunto was one of the worst newbies of ALL TIME!
What is the meaning of this blasphemous misspelling?


Likes Dags. but not as much as his Dad
Oct 11, 2006
There is no such thing as a Kind Cunto


The one and only
Nov 28, 2006
So we're going to start with what is as much an ode to keeping a careful eye on your mental health as it is about an award on an internet forum.

The award for Biggest Liar

Ways to win an argument about Justin Fashanu:

1. Have a well thought out, compelling argument which considers all of the salient points and offers a very reasonable basis for agreement.

2. Say “He was alright by me, I don’t mind bummers, black or not. Once they stick to their own and stop catching aids from chimpanzees and that. And anyway, I know three gays and none of them have tried to fingerbang me while I was asleep”.

3. Claim to be black and then, under almost no pressure, admit you were lying all along. At this point you should suggest cryptically that in fact you were making a deeper, satirical point and that everyone who read your idiotic lie was at fault, not you, as it was their prejudices which lent absurdity to the whole situation. Then the next morning claim that you were drunk, as if that’s the same thing as being mentally unwell. Then get yourself banned for something stupid, though that may not be related.

The winner of the award for the Biggest Liar of 2011 is TheMancRedDevil.


Full Member
May 1, 2009
Next year is my year.

Edit: In general. Not just for that award.

Randall Flagg

Worst of the best
May 23, 2009
I'm not home yet. I am posting live and exclusively from a train. Someone post that Lenny GIF for me


Not actually very big
Apr 6, 2009
this year is my year on SM
Tonights gonna be a good night...


I’m afraid I just blue myself
Sep 18, 2008
Well deserved TMRD.


Full Member
May 18, 2009
Since I'm not going to win anything and TMRD isn't here, Can I have my moment of glory and accept it on his behalf?
Sit down mate. I'll tell you what that reward REALLY is all about. You don't want any of that.


Likes Dags. but not as much as his Dad
Oct 11, 2006
Pizza slices for one and all

Did you preheat the iron before doing this? Because its better if you preheat it, and its in now way the sign of a man who likes sucking cocks...


A prince among poopers
Jul 29, 2005
Sack Geebs, Sell Sults

Goes to none other than.......

rednev (pictured in Dr Marten's with red laces)

Well you've got to hand it to nev. The guy's consistent year in, year out no matter what you think of him. From the Utd Forum to the Current Events and the right the way back to the doesn't matter where rednev pops up, but one thing is for sure..he'll be outspoken, he'll be controversial and he'll be xenophobic bordering on the cusp of racism with every electronic utterance with his spastic Welsh hands.

Whether it be the death of Bin Laden, bailing out Ireland, the death of Kim Jong-Il, good old Mrs T, religions, the war on terror, the Falklands or just the price of lollipops in the local corner shop you can guarantee that rednev will be there to give his either wummish or racist agenda stance on things.

Many years ago rednev graduated in some weird twisted Welsh university with a first class honours degree in Islamophobia and regards himself as one of the leading authorities on all things middle east, with much of his work focusing on how middle eastern countries, their people, policies and cultures are all wrong. But it doesn't stop there, no siree. The Irish are thick, the English are thicker. Should he be permanently removed from the CE for continual racist and spastic remarks? No he shouldn't, he's a racist spacker for sure, but he's our racist spacker. He often saunters into the General to mix it up with the ethnic minorities and his hatred of each and every one of you is apparent. If rednev had his way he'd have each and every one of you's shot.

People should be allowed to deny whatever they want. What right does anyone have to tell anyone else what views they can hold on history?
^ As you can all see, the Holocaust was just a big conspiracy for rednev.

Well done nev, you giant racist feck!