Who are the really stupid footballers?

Shakesy

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The average IQ (yes, I know it's not an indication of true intelligence) is a hundred, give or take.

So, that means United's first team has, what, 3 or 4 really dumb players.

Who are they? What about players from other teams? Who comes across as being intellectually-challenged in world football?
 
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RedDevilMachine

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All of them. I mean if you actually have a very high IQ, being a footballer is the last job you want to work as.
 

KirkDuyt

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Rick Karsdorp walks this competition. He makes Herschel Walker sound like the chairman of Mensa.

Do they have a chairman?
 

KirkDuyt

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Harry Kane doesnt look particularly bright either, but that's mostly because his mouth hangs open when he's not speaking. I've not actually ever heard him talk.
 

The Urban Goose

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Jason McAteer used to be mocked by other footballers for being thick as mince.

Also, who was it that asked for his pizza to be cut into only four slices rather than eight as he wasn't very hungry?
 

awop

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He could be hiding it and have every diploma on earth but listening to Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink makes me think he's lacking many braincells.
 

mctrials23

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I would wager that there are far more immature and infantile footballers than there are really thick ones. Living slightly outside of normal society due to being good at kicking a ball around seems to lead to many of them just being big children with loads of money. Jermaine Pennant is a good example. Has the maturity of I reckon about a 13 year old, maybe 15 if I am being generous.
 

Oranges038

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Jason McAteer used to be mocked by other footballers for being thick as mince.

Also, who was it that asked for his pizza to be cut into only four slices rather than eight as he wasn't very hungry?
Believe that was Jason himself.
 

The Original

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All of them. I mean if you actually have a very high IQ, being a footballer is the last job you want to work as.
The rational thing for humans to do is seek paths that lead to happiness. Humans must also work to live.

Therefore, the rational thing for an individual to do is pick a career that allows you to do what makes you happy and earn a small fortune while at it, while acquiring fame and a name that opens many doors, including some undeserved ones, that allow you choose pretty much any path that would continue to make you happy, afterwards.

So your argument is that intelligent people are not rational. Which doesn't sound like a very intelligent thing to say sir.
 

Red Star One

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Di Canio obviously, Totti was also very limited in thinking as far as I remember. From current players Grealish truly strikers as a real cookie, worth mentioning Zouma for his ignorance and cruelty against animals perhaps. Famously Michael Owen, too.
 
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Skåre Willoch

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Zouma is an obvious candidate.

Ronaldinho? Using a fake passport when you're that famous. C'mon.

Kyle Walker? I don't know why - but he strikes me as the type to be a thug or debt collector or something like that.
 

GDaly95

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I saw a Sancho interview around the time he joined and maybe he was nervous but it really seemed like the lights were on but no one was home.

Barkley seemed the same.

Grealish.
 

horsechoker

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Ole'sgunnarwin

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Bruno Fernández is the least intelligent footballer I've seen at United and I think he's a good player. Some of the diving and unnecessary flicks at the wrong time baffles me. Pogba was a close 2nd.
 

Nick7

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All of them. I mean if you actually have a very high IQ, being a footballer is the last job you want to work as.
If you’re really intelligent, love football, and are really good at it why wouldn’t you want to be a footballer? Earn a shit ton of money, invest it and retire early.
 

do.ob

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Kai Havertz has the most stupid anecdote, that I'm aware of, to his name.
 

Skåre Willoch

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Red Star One

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Bruno Fernández is the least intelligent footballer I've seen at United and I think he's a good player. Some of the diving and unnecessary flicks at the wrong time baffles me. Pogba was a close 2nd.
Brains can't be buy

I actually don't think Bruno is a stupid lad
 

Bepi

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Without neither being technically stupid, Balotelli vs Cassano was like the clash of titans in Italy 15 years ago.
 

HookedOnAPhelan

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I've always thought Timo Werner looks like he might be an idiot, like the type of person who struggles with tying their shoelaces.