Wot a signing? - Summer 2024 edition | Most successful jinx thread 2024
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik (@Rood) and Jamie (@Vault Dweller) are here to talk about United's dreadful home defeat at the hands of Big Ange's Tottenham Hotspur. Should this have been the end of Ten Hag? How long does he actually have left? And does Nik finally want ETH out?!
Past 10 years+ our transfer department has been a procrastination masterclass.
Okay fair enough, I explained what I meant in the other post.
Key takeaway - which you seem to be ignoring - is that this isn't something that should prevent us from getting deals to the end of the line or close to the end of the line.
In fairness it was very regularly a procrastination masterclass when we were successful too. It’s just that we actually got good players at the end of it then, instead of waiting 3 months for Fellaini or Mount
The 2007-08 summer was brilliant. Strong links to Hargreaves and Nani throughout the season, then at the end of May we announced Hargreaves followed by the Nani/Anderson double signing, then we spent the rest of the summer trying to sort out the Tevez transfer (with his weird third-party ownership situation).
Felt very much like the exception to how we usually handled our business though.
The difference is that we moved to a "one transfer at a time" model, and refused to move on to a target unless the previous one was finalized.
The only reason I responded to your initial post was the assertion that any transfer we made would not be effective until July. That seemed an odd thing to say.
I accept that we can still do deals... doesn't everyone?
Another summer of Red Cafe pretending that our inactivity in the market is anything but a serious problem. This place cares more about narrative than actual performance and results. We're not Real Madrid. There are deep problems with the squad that need to be addressed immediately. With the amount of issues, I should have been seeing news already of efforts to get rid of like half of this clownshow of a squad. But nope. Nothing. And the excuses are already built in this summer. Euros, Copa America, Olympics, holidays. Oh boy.
Nothing on Teletext
Yeah I don’t get what that’s all about. Read somewhere (maybe Mitten) that we’ve lost out on a lot of targets with that method, as you’d expect too.
Think I read somewhere else that INEOS are putting an end to it, hopefully anyway
This Summer is going to be an absolute shitshow
They can't even make up their fecking mind about whether they are keeping or sacking Ten Hag. This lot is not going to give us a breathtaking rebuild of United
They can't even make up their fecking mind about whether they are keeping or sacking Ten Hag. This lot is not going to give us a breathtaking rebuild of United
Vidal is playing for Colo-Colo and I think Chilevision is Tier 1 for them. Once they report it, it’s as good as done.
Doesn't matter swear every one of our players people are asking to keep now based on one game of not being shit. Gonna be EtH back and most of the same squad if people had their way
Are people actually hoping for new transfers with no DOF, a manger whose position is in doubt and has shown he is a calamity at identifying targets, a scouting network that clearly cant be relied upon and a CEO who hasn't started yet?
Who would be signing people? Whose identifying the targets? Whose assessing the squad and deciding what we need? Whose planning the structure of the squad going forward?
If we made signings now, (and possibly all summer) it is a sign that the dumb wasting of 100's of millions is going to continue under INEOS and things arnt going to get better.
Personally im hoping only short term signings and loan deals are made this summer, and when we do invest we do so with a proper infrastructure in place and well thought out plan.
Who would be signing people? Whose identifying the targets? Whose assessing the squad and deciding what we need? Whose planning the structure of the squad going forward?
If we made signings now, (and possibly all summer) it is a sign that the dumb wasting of 100's of millions is going to continue under INEOS and things arnt going to get better.
Personally im hoping only short term signings and loan deals are made this summer, and when we do invest we do so with a proper infrastructure in place and well thought out plan.
What with the delays in getting the new senior backroom positions in place, the manager position yet to be resolved and the Euros, I get the feeling it'll be next summer before we have anything like a decent chance to really improve the squad.
I hope I'm proved wrong.
I hope I'm proved wrong.
It’s Ceefax these days
Ah correct due process, Woodward approved
Christ you make signing players sound like solving theoretical physics equations.
It’s really not that difficult, and if we are to believe INEOS are any different than the previous regime then they shouldn’t get a built in excuse just because they chose to go to war with Newcastle over their target for DoF. Also we’ve already hired men in every other “infrastructure” position? It’s not just SJR twiddling his thumbs in an empty office googling “Good young footballers”.
Pretty much.
What’s funny is all of the excuses that have been peddled for a decade are still used, yet a few knowledgeable Cafe posters could right now designate a solid 7/10 summer at a minimum if provided a budget.
Doesn’t take 150 years of combined footballing world experience to target and offer for 3-4 of the following: Yoro, Branthwaite, Diomande, Zirkzee, Sesko, Todibo, Olise, Toney, Guirassy, Vermeeren, Wharton, Onana, Varela, Palacios, Hjulmand, Wieffer, Fofana, Neves.
Obviously depends on budget and some sales but any 3-4 of the names listed above would be a great summer and that’s just me as a random bloke on a forum coming up with that in my spare time.
If our scouts allegedly can't be trusted, why haven't we sacked them by now?
Not looking good. Utd is not seriously link to any manager or players(Both in and out).
Look at just how much money we have wasted on bad signings over the last decade. Just carrying on the it’s not that hard approach is an absolute recipe for disaster.
Well firstly because we don’t have people in place to assess them yet.
As for out scouts not being able to be trusted look at our track record look how much money we have wasted.
It’s been 100s of millions most summers for a decade and we have a mess of a squad.
How can you trust anyone who has been invoked with out squad building over the last decade!
Haha I remember checking Teletext repeatedly for score updates during games back in the early 90s.
You came home after the summer vacation just to check if anyone had been bought hehe
We never had the "it's not that hard" approach though which is my point. We overcomplicated and dragged on every window taking hilarious amounts of time "negotiating" while generally having to only move for one target at a time before moving on to the next. We haven't had a single window where we just did quick, efficient business decently early.
Not to worry. Chelsea will still have some good deals at the end of August. 
Not to worry. Chelsea will still have some good deals at the end of August.
Fortunately for us they won't want to move though as they are on cushy long contracts.
Thats true, but in order to do things like that you need a well organized hierarchy with a long term plan that identifies the squads needs (short and long term) asses the market and accurately identifies targets within the budget they wish to spend. At the moment with our structure still up in the air, we are a million miles away from being in the is position.
At the end of the day we arnt in the position we are in becuase we haven't signed early enough in the window, or because we havent spent enough money. We are in the position we are because we have spent way to much money buying the wrong players and haven't had people in place who know how to build a squad effectively. That is currently still the case! So buying now would be insanely dumb compounding the issue rather than improving it.
Have we signed David Hirst yet?
Waiting on Shearer.
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I went on the internet and it said we were linked to some winger called Labia Majora?
Van de Beek = new signing
Mount return = new signing
Hannibal return = new signing
That's three for no fee, Jim the Rat as ever working wonders
Mount return = new signing
Hannibal return = new signing
That's three for no fee, Jim the Rat as ever working wonders
probably no signings. Any money in the kitty is needed to fix the roof. Anyway, Mount and Shaw will be like new signings :-)
All the top players are away at various international competitions (except Haaland), therefore dot think there is going to be anything much happening until later in July onwards.
Of course agents and intermediaries will be talking but expect all transfers to really kick off post Euros/Copa America.
Of course those that didn’t make their national squads Final Cut could be pushed through earlier (Branthwaite)???
Like the buses, they will all come at once…..
Of course agents and intermediaries will be talking but expect all transfers to really kick off post Euros/Copa America.
Of course those that didn’t make their national squads Final Cut could be pushed through earlier (Branthwaite)???
Like the buses, they will all come at once…..
Let’s make up some random gibberish to paint someone I don’t like as bad and then call him a rat.
God you’re cool.
Did you forget Sancho or is that a step too far?
Greenwood is too far
Such a random thing to cry about, got a hearty chuckle out of me as if I’ve stumbled across his kid’s burner account. Jim the rat is his nickname, calm down.