Your Al Bundy moment

[KirkDuyt]

Scored an outside foot screamer from outside the box which went in the topcorner of the cross bar.

It was the 8-1(the 1) and I was so hung over I could barely stand up.

 

[Art Vandelay]

Where is the youtube videos of that game . Is it like Liverpool vs Pickford crazy stuff? I see you explained it all.
It sounds like you would be a Pogba/Phil Jones clone with pure magical stuff at times and doing stupid shit giving away own goals.

Pickford sums it up really. It was 50/50 if the first question asked would be "Why the feck did you do that?" or "How the feck did you do that?"

I was shite, but spectacular. More of a combination of Hulk and Titus Bramble.

 

[adexkola]

It is hard to trust reading all people here. I guess people that only scored regular goals would not bother to post. Still most are probably telling the truth in maybe a bright light though.
I think to lie about great moments would make most people feel bad talking about it with little gain other than being fun to read. I do think most of you guys are telling at least 80% truth.

Might as well use this post to post some embarrassing moments of mine

1. Played 1 game as keeper. My team was dominating affairs and there was a basketball game behind me... Lost concentration and was watching the basketball behind me... Conceded a simple back pass and got kicked off

2. Rushed into a tackle against a great dribbler who slipped the ball away. Did the electric slide, bastard scores off that

3. Missed multiple volley shots, looked stupid as everyone shouted "o lugo"

 

[RuudVNistelrooy10]

It was during my first year in university. Just came back from a string of injuries, lost quite a fair bit of agility but was still a pacey striker.
We needed a win to ensure qualification into the knockout stages after drawing our first two games. We had a very strong team back then but lacked cohesion because we only started playing together for less than a month.

Last 5 minutes of the game, broke the offside trap with a perfectly time run and got onto a perfectly weighted through ball. Rounded the keeper Ronaldoesque(the Brazilian one of course) style and passed it into the net from a tight angle like Andy Cole in 99'. Everyone knew my name on that day, nothing feels better than scoring a late winner. Put one in the side netting an exactly similar chance but on the left side during a friendly 3 days before that. It was a move we were working on and it paid off. Qualified top of the group and went on to win it.

Reach the semi finals the next year and won it again the following, but I never scored from open play again in the cup since that goal. although I played mostly as a winger since then and was mostly injured during our second win.

 

[fishfingers15]

I wasn't Usain Bolt but I could run pretty fast (11.13 secs over 100 meters for a state gold medal of sorts). I used to play in the right wing because I could run with the ball fast. I was always the last man on corners or freekicks because I could chase people down fast. When we were pushing for the equalizing goal, I remember plenty of last-ditch defending to prevent break-away goals. I used to be confident of chasing down a reasonable lead for the attacker.

Perhaps the best memory of football from my school years was a game away to a school in a nearby town (Pudukottai, which literally translates to a new fort). It was the last game of a round robin format between 10 schools and we needed only a draw while the opponents needed a win. We stayed overnight in an affiliate school nearby and arrived at the opponent school early morning. After many postponements, finally game kicked off at 1 PM. We had skipped breakfast for some glucose and boiled eggs, so we got so hungry that we had just taken a heavy lunch thinking the game would kick off at 3 PM. They promptly scored a goal within the first 15 minutes but every time any of our players would go near touchline or outside for things like corners and throw-ins, we were being threatened with violence. Ref decided to cut the game to 35 minutes per half for some reason as well. We kept them at arm's length and scored a goal in the last 5 minutes and had to run all the way to the bus station because we were chased by school thugs.

It was the last game I played for my school too, as some of us sat out of the semi and final games because of board exams. We ended runner up that year (1997)

 

[Billy Blaggs]

It is hard to trust reading all people here. I guess people that only scored regular goals would not bother to post. Still most are probably telling the truth in maybe a bright light though.
I think to lie about great moments would make most people feel bad talking about it with little gain other than being fun to read. I do think most of you guys are telling at least 80% truth.

Some of my my favorite goals going across the goalkeeper from the right to the left and then for poking it Romario style with the outside of my right boot. But that was my best goal just because it was a cross from the right wing that he pulled to far back and I just went for it with a full bicycle not a scissor kick. I just got up in time to see it hit the top left corner. On the way back the ref said fecking hell.
I dined on that goal forever with my team. And my girlfriend who is now my wife saw it. I was king for a while.

 

[Billy Blaggs]

Plus I was good at bicycle kicks because I couldn't head for shit
I could pass with my head but I never got the whole power header at goal technique down. Most of my goals were when someone would put me through or dribbles because I started as a winger.

 

[The Nani]

It is hard to trust reading all people here. I guess people that only scored regular goals would not bother to post. Still most are probably telling the truth in maybe a bright light though.
I think to lie about great moments would make most people feel bad talking about it with little gain other than being fun to read. I do think most of you guys are telling at least 80% truth.

The best volley I ever hit which was struck on the run RVP style with the ball coming from long over my shoulder was actually saved by a GK who couldn’t have had any idea what he was doing.

The only other that comes close probably rendered some poor young lad impotent.

Sad truths.

 

[adexkola]

The best volley I ever hit which was struck on the run RVP style with the ball coming from long over my shoulder was actually saved by a GK who couldn’t have had any idea what he was doing.

The only other that comes close probably rendered some poor young lad impotent.

Sad truths.

was on the receiving end of a few of those. One hit me square in the head... Had my head ringing all afternoon

 

[Art Vandelay]

was on the receiving end of a few of those. One hit me square in the head... Had my head ringing all afternoon

I took one in the nuts in 5-a-side while in nets. I refused to go down because there was a crowd watching, I was assuming they were marvelling at my toughness as I leaned on the crossbar. Two minutes later the exact same thing happened again and I figured I'm not going down again. I took one step backwards and went down like a sack of shit. It's not a fun experience at all. I was laying in the foetal position after having gone up a few octaves.

 

[Florida Man]

Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

Would have won state had coach put you in the 4th quarter.

 

[Florida Man]

I once tackled and dispossessed a college level player so badly, she was never seen again.

 

[tenpoless]

Not sure if this counts but story time :

Had this five a side tourney when I was still at school, like 14 or something.

I was playing as a striker "mainly" because I couldn't do anything else other than to kick the shit out of the ball really hard and hoping it goes in. I couldn't dribble, I couldn't do accurate passes, friends always told me to stay near the box when They had the ball. Being the underdog player, I tried to emulate Park Ji Sung as much as possible (He's my idol). I knew my limitation so I usually helped defending and ran my bollocks off.

It was an alright team. My partner striker was this massive Indian kid (a transfer student) who's so nice and had dribbles like Ronaldo but didn't have that scoring instinct (weak shoot + bad positioning). If We were combined We'd make a complete striker. Our GK was fat (no offense) so We didn't expect him to jump and make outrageous saves. The players needed to work hard winning the ball.

Anyway We managed to get into the semi after several high scoring games. In the last minute in semi the fat GK threw the ball to me, bypassing the entire midfield when it was 3-3 and I scored the winning goal (just kicking it straight to the keeper really hard) & took us to the final.

Now before this I wasn't the most popular, every girls loved the Indian kid because He had flashy dribbles. But I took the team to the final so my teacher said He needed my hard work once more and They seemed to love it. The night before the final I was getting very nervous, the thought had crept into me that if I score another winning goal, maybe.. girls will like me and I can be as popular as the Indian kid. I literally couldn't sleep that night and my nervousness caused me to wank rather intensely.

I slept like a baby after because I was knackered but I thought the sleep would be enough & I had bought power drinks anyway.... It didn't happen. During the final match I could only run for about 4-5 mins (I worked hard) and spent the rest of the match pretending I wasn't tired.. but I swear my knees were weak, mouth dry, my shoots weren't as hard as usual, my vision was blurry, I could barely run. We had no striker substitute and We lost the match 5-0. I had like 6 chances to score but none of them got in.

I still feel guilty sometimes. But the funniest part wasn't that, after the game I told my schoolmate I was very tired in that game and We could have won. And his response surprised me. Said He'd seen someone in a white sweater behind the opponents' goal the whole time during the match, crouching. He said the guy kept starring at me and probably did some black magic to prevent the ball from getting in and made me feel tired.

He didn't know it was because of masturbation.

 

[Red Pumpkin]

I was the definition of an erratic player. Best player on the pitch one week, worst of the bunch next week. Confidence and pressure. My coach nicknamed me after a famous artist as you could expect something spectacular one way or the other.

My two claims to fame would probably have to be somehow picking out the top corner from the half way line. Our coach had before hand said something like "their goalie is a pygmy, take a shot from midfield if you get a chance". I'm fairly sure be didn't mean from 50 meters out though.

The other would be playing a blinder against one of the top 3 teams in the country, a team that habitually beat teams like mine with ease (a fair, regular district team but far from elite) in a game we won 2-0. What made it even more special was that I had quit playing since a couple of months back and was called up the day before because my old team were short of players. My coach shook his head after the game and said "Red Pumpkin might be the only player that improves without practicing or playing regularly".

 

[Thomas A.Anderson]

Made a debut for local team as the youngest goalkeeper ever for a senior team. It was the first week of the league campaign. We won 4-1, made a few pretty great saves, probably would be first choice after that.

Next day got accepted into university, had to move, gave up football. Impeccable career.