Your Football Film/Series (Cause people like to f**k up my threads)

[Duffy]

So off the back of this post in a general thread, it gave me the idea of doing a whole thread on films you would make including footballers. Now these films do not have to be about football necessarily, but rather just star some of the characters we see each week on the football field - played by actors and actresses chosen by you. Threw together the below TEMPLATE for you to use to describe your film and you can add actors in to play the cast.

Film Name:
Genre:
Synopsis:
Cast:

 

[Duffy]

Film Name: A Slip To Remember
Genre: Drama/Comedy
Synopsis: Stevie's been unlucky in life but is determined to turn things around. He suits up and decides to take Manhattan by storm, becoming a successful catwalk star. As his biggest show yet approaches it's up to Stevie to not let his opportunity slip and not let fellow model Demba take the spotlight. SPOILER: Stevie slips on the catwalk.
Cast:

Mark Wahlberg as Stevie G

Eddie Murphy as Demba

George Clooney as Jose

Mila Kunis as Eva the Physio

Danny Trejo as Luis Suarez

And this guy from Hollyoaks as Rat-face Henderson

 

[Rooney in Paris]

Ffs Duffy!

 

[Duffy]

Ffs Duffy!

Go on, join in, you know you want to

 

[Tarrou]

Suarez

 

[Patchbeard]

I...I don't think I can top that.

 

[Rooney in Paris]

Go on, join in, you know you want to

Have to give it some thought, you've put the bar very high!

 

[Duffy]

Film Name: Return Of The Fact Man
Genre: Action
Synopsis: Rafa is back for revenge. He arrives back on the Mersey side of town to take revenge on those who did not listen to him first time around. He has 6 days to kill 6 targets responsible for running out of his former job otherwise his darkest secret - that he is actually a waiter and not an assassin - will be revealed.
Cast:

Jack Black as Rafa Benitez

Sean Connery as Sir Alex

Anne Hathaway as Fernando Torres

Cuba Gooding Jr as Glen Johnson

Ardal O'Hanlon as Robbie Keane

Reese Witherspoon as Andriy Vorinin

And this random tramp as Liverpudlian Guy

 

[Duffy]

Film Name: 15 Years Later
Genre: Comedy
Synopsis: They've gained some weight, lost some hair but they're still wild at heart. 15 years after the wildest summer of their lives, the boys of summer 99 are on tour again - well 6 of them are. Big Pete, Jaap, Andrew, Paul, Jesper and Ginger Dave (Who is more in the way than anything) are off to Magaluf and it is gonna be massive!
Cast:

Patrick Stewart as Jaap

Richard Gere as Big Pete

Forest Whittaker as Always Drunk Andrew

Rupert Grint as Paul

Carey Mulligan as Jesper

And Louis CK as Ginger Dave

 

[Rooney in Paris]

Stahp Duffy!

 

[Duffy]

Ok i'll give someone else a chance...

 

[Patchbeard]

Film Name: Deception
Genre: Musical
Synopsis: Up and coming composer Jurgen Klopp is distraught when his musical prodigees Mario & Robert desert him for the shining lights of broadway and the award winning musicals of Pep Guardiola. Through adversity Jurgen tutors a catalogue of new talent to rival the shows of the great Pep, but will rumours of new star Marco's exit disrupt the ultimate musical showdown?
Cast:

Sean Bean as Jurgen Klopp

Matthew Fox as Pep Guardiola

That Mumford & Sons singer as Robert Lewandowksi

Justin Bieber as Mario Gotze

Miley Cyrus as Marco Reus

Sean Bean also as Kuba

 

[Duffy]

One more...

Film Name: Room For Danny
Genre: Comedy/Drama
Synopsis: Danny has just been dumped, chucked out because his ex said he didn't give her enough of the good stuff. She is with her new man and Danny has to face up to facts. In one night his new workmates show him that there is more fish in the see...but Danny just can't seem to score!
Cast:

Tom Hardy as Aaron

Jude Law as Jack

Warrick Davis as Santi

Chris Cooper as Arse The Boss

Julian Sands as Big Daft Per

And Mary J Blige as Danny

 

[Duffy]

Brilliant @Patchbeard

 

[Member 39557]

I'd Love It:

The story of Kevin Keegan's turbulent title collapse in 1996/97. An amazing sequel to Black Swan, director Darren Aronofsky explores the descent into madness from the perspective of a mop haired football manager.
Initially agitated by a throwaway comment from a rival manager, experience the tragic downfall as Keegan descends into a shadow of his former self and becomes tormented by visions of red devils, barcodes and mercurial frenchmen.

Peter Capaldi: Alex Ferguson

Ian Mcshane: Confident Keegan

Alan Davies: Unhinged Keegan

Kuno Becker: Lauren Robert

Fabio Lanzoni: David Ginola

Eminem: David Batty

LL Cool J: Les Ferdinand

Andy Serkis: Richard Keys

 

[Patchbeard]

Film Name: Genderisation
Genre: Comedy
Synopsis: Karim's work as a male stripper comes under threat from new kids on the block James and Javier. However he begins to suspect their gender. With hilarious consequences.
Cast:

Shia LeBeouf as Karim Benzema

Camilla Belle as James Rodriguez

Sigourney Weaver as Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez

 

[Duffy]

Film Name: Falling For You
Genre: Horror
Synopsis: 5 people awake in a room one day not knowing how they got there. Little do they know there is something that links all of them - non of them can stand up for longer than 4 seconds. Without being able to stand they must work together to escape the room and live their lives.
Cast:

Ralph Fiennes as Arjen Robben

Martin Lawrence as Ashley Young

Jaden Smith as Nani

Jamie Foxx as Didier Drogba

And Michael Imperioli as Fabio Grosso

 

[Duffy]

Film Name: Life Of Luxury
Genre: Drama
Synopsis: The lives of Hollywood high-rollers are getting more expensive all the time. The latest craze is to buy Luxury people, at millions of dollars each, but truth be told they don't end up doing much. What a waste of money.
Cast:

Andy Garcia as Berba

Dwayne Johnson as Collymore

Don Cheadle as Robinho

Maggie Gyllenhaal as Andy Carroll

And Ben Kingsley as Seba Veron

 

[DatIrishFella]

Title: An Unexpected Journey, There & Back Again : The Desolation of Roy Keane
Genre : Adventure/Drama
Synopsis : Roy Keane is swept into a quest to get Ireland to the World Cup final under the tutelage of the fearsome manager Mick McCarthy. Roy finds himself in the company of a 23 man squad, but little does he know, something is awry, his company of 23 brave men are plotting behind his back, none more so than his rival Steve of the house Staunton, a fellow Roy didn't see eye to eye with, but for the sake of this mission, they put their differences behind them. News had reached camp that the mighty captain, Roy, had said somethings about his men he would regret! Mick, Niall & Steve would be his eventual demise!!

Cast:

Mel Gibson as Roy Keane

Les Dennis as Steve Staunton

Nicholas Cage as Mick McCarthy

&

This 2x4 as Niall Quinn

 

[Duffy]

Les Dennis is a great shout.

 

[RedRevongge]

Film Name: Sport Trek
Genre: Sci Fi
Synopsis: A group of sports stars spend a long period of time on a spaceship for seemingly no reason whatsoever. They spend thousands of years travelling to other planets in order to try and find others who are of the same species (with little success)
Cast:

Patrick Stewart as Arjen Robben

Leonard Nimoy as John Parrott

Some ugly mudda fecker as Carlos Tevez

Michael Dorn as Joleon Lescott

 

[ZDwyr]

This thread is quality. If I find the time I'll try and come up with something.

 

[Duffy]

This thread is quality. If I find the time I'll try and come up with something.

Was just about to dig it out and bump it, if this idea falls by the wayside it'll be a travesty.

 

[Dirty Schwein]

that same post made me think to make a thread like this but I KNEW @Duffy would do it so I left it and here it is

Film Name: Smash It
Genre: Comedy
Synopsis: Two idiot pundits make a bet to 'smash' the female referee and get caught so they go on the run from the FBI
Cast:

Jack Nicholson as Andy Gray

Mr.Bean as Richard Keyes

Sarah Silverman as Sian Massey

Keanu Reeves as Jamie Redknapp

This Croissant as Harry Redknapp

 

[Duffy]

Atkinson as Keys

 

[Duffy]

 

[Rooney in Paris]

Not a fan of this one Duffy, not quite sure who George is meant to portray, and I don't quite grasp the plot. Preferred your earlier efforts.

 

[AngeloHenriquez]

The Cyrus and Reus one, that's genius.

 

[Skizzo]

It's gone now since you didn't like it

 

[Rooney in Paris]

I liked it Skizzo, and I think it's a shame you bowed to Duffy's fascism.

 

[Duffy]

I liked it Skizzo, and I think it's a shame you bowed to Duffy's fascism.

Sorry I hadn't realised Peter Crouch and Nacho Monorail were actors. Well in that case it doesn't defeat the whole object of the thread.

 

[Rooney in Paris]

Fascism, I say.

 

[Duffy]

Lets get this back on track...

Film Name: The Dirtiest Players
Genre: Action/Heist
Synopsis: A sexy lady called The Organizer and her lover, lets call him Duffy, manipulates 6 of the worlds biggest poker cheats to rig the World highest stake Poker Tournament. Can the 6 dirtiest players work together to deliver The Organizer with the thing she craves so badly - £236,000.36 and more Duffy!!!
Cast:

Alison Brie as The Organizer

Duffy as Duffy The Lover

Jason Statham as Kevin Muscat

Colin Farrell as Roy Keane

Vin Diesel as Nigel De Jong

Joe Manganiello as Gennaro Gattuso

Ray Winston as Vinnie Jones

And Vinnie Jones as Dennis Wise

 

[DatIrishFella]

Film Name: To The Left, To The Right
Genre : Sports comedy
Synopsis : A young man from Porto Alegre emerges as one of the brightest talents his country has seen in recent years, he goes on an a whirlwind adventure across Europe with FC Porto, and then it happens, his big break, a move to Manchester United! But all is not what it seems ......

Cast:

Norma from Shamless as Anderson

Eddie Murphy as Kleberson

Gael Garcia Bernal as Cesc Fabregas

 

[Patchbeard]

Series Name: How I met Xavi
Genre: Series/Comedy
Synopsis: Young magician Joe aspires to be like his idol Xavi. So someone writes a whole show on the story of how he finally met Xavi. With a shit ending.
Cast:

Jamie Bell as Joe 'Xoe' Allen

Jason Bateman as not Xavi but Xabi

Josh Radnor as Xavi

 

[Duffy]

Film Name: Away They Diego
Genre: Action
Synopsis: A group of men all named Diego race cross country to see who can find the missing Horn of Mattatitty. With a weapon of choice each, they each jump in their VW's (The budget could not stretch to sports cars) and head for California. Little does the victor know the ultimate power the Horn holds.
Cast:

Danny Trejo as Diego Costa

Barbara Streisand as Diego Forlan

Rodrigo Santoro as Diego Simone

Aaron Paul as The Diego

Alastair McGowan as Diego Lopez

And Ruth Jones as Diego Maradona

 

[Patchbeard]

Film Name: Karma
Genre: Religious
Synopsis: Glenn is punished for being a bit of a tosser by being reincarnated as his old self with dubious hair. Joined by other characters with dubious hair they try to decipher the meaning of life.
Cast:

Brad Pitt as Glenn Hoddle

Beyonce as Kevin Keegan

Ailsa Stewart as Mark Hughes

Peter Dinklage as Chris Waddle

 

[Patchbeard]

I think you might put a bit more thought into the synopsis's @Duffy

Sorry about the series...

 

[Duffy]

I think you might put a bit more thought into the synopsis's @Duffy

Sorry about the series...

I'll let you off cause Karma sounds like a classic.

 

[Patchbeard]

@Duffy I think you may have started something... http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29541852

Film Name: Ghana World Cup Cash Row (working title)
Genre: Thriller
Synopsis: "I can see the poster now; lots of soccer balls, a stadium and a guy on the run."

Cast:

Dwayne Johnson as Andre Ayew

Mr.T as Christian Atsu

Michael from Lost as Michael Essien

Walt from Lost as Asamoah Gyan

and Graham Norton as Sulley Muntari