Your Al Bundy moment

[Member 93275]

Out of a thousand kids starting in street or grassroots football, only one makes it to pro football (ok, I don't have the exact numbers, but you get my drift). I was one of the 999, but had my moments, even a magic moment. Now I proverbially sell shoes, my kids don't respect me, and my wife doesn't cook for me.

What was your magic moment as such a football player?

 

[Casanova85]

Scoring at the 1" minute.

Crap afterwards. Got subbed. Match ended 4-1 (victory).

 

[VorZakone]

4 goals in 1 match. Also a defence-splitting pass from the halfway line.

 

[Mr Pigeon]

Last five minutes of the game, 0-0. Went on a long sprint down the left flank, past three players and crossed in for the popular kid at school to head it in from five yards out. Perfect run, perfect cross. He got all of the credit. School is shite.

Same game I put in two sliding tackles that stopped dangerous runs and blocked a fair few crosses from coming in. Left backs got feck all respect. And they wonder why Scottish football is shite. Everyone wants to be a striker.

 

[SadlerMUFC]

In a tournament a couple years ago. We breezed through to the finals but in that game we played poorly. I ended up making at least half a dozen top saves. In the end we went to penalties. I saved 2 and they shot one wide and we ended up winning and I got MVP for the tournament...

 

[Based Adnan]

First day at a new job 4 years ago and they needed a GK for their work team later that night so I agreed to fill in. Genuinely had a De Gea vs Tottenham kind of game including a penalty save and got hailed a hero. Pretty good way to start a new job

 

[duffer]

Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

 

[berbatrick]

as a defender, with the goalkeeper out of the box, i managed to save a goal with a backheel. for an asthmatic kid this was the height of sports achievement.

 

[Velvet Revolver]

confused Al for Ted and was quite hesitant opening this thread!

 

[Casanova85]

Ted Bundy burns in hell.

 

[JamesO]

Scored twice from centre midfield on my primary school debut in a 6-0 win which included a towering header from a corner.

Got put up front for next game and struggled ending up going off injured with a dead leg.

Somehow ended up at left back for the game after that and stayed there for rest of the school year, switching to right back the year after.

All this whilst playing centre back for my under 10's team at the time.

 

[BrianMcClair'sBarnet]

Supposedly scoring a quality goal which only my brother and his mates seem to remember instantly.
That's my Quantum Leap moment right there.So I can go back in time and be put into my younger selfs body and relive this supposedly amazing goal I cant ever seem to fecking remember.

 

[Infestissumam]

mainly played right back or center back. Once set up a game-winning goal with a peach of a pass, splitting two defenders for an easy finish. Striker got all the credit of course.

also scored two goals in a game once, although no one seemed to care or remember. We did win 19-0 after all, but I still think my brace was a big deal!

 

[Art Vandelay]

I once scored all 7 goals in a 5-2 win. I scored straight from the kick off after my second OG. Ran forward a bit, people backed off and I lashed it into the top corner from about 35 yards.

Twice scored from the other teams corners from inside my own box. Both volleys, both times their keeper was way outside his box and I just belted it.

My problem was that I had an abundance of Al Bundy moments and moments of brilliance. I was the master of the spectacular and dramatic. Last minute winners, ridiculous volleys and freekicks. Long range thunderbolts from out of nowhere. I scored from my own half at least 15 times. I could split the defence with a pass at any moment.

It was everything else that was the problem. I could not be trusted to keep posession, my short range passing was erratic at best, I'd switch off defensively and you could not rely on me to finish from 5 yards. Also my penchant for the ridiculous went both ways, some of the OG's I scored were quite frankly mental and you couldn't do them if you tried. I also had a red card in me at any moment.

 

[Monkey bus]

Won a breakdancing competition at school. Prize was a Huckleberry Finn book. Street!

Scored an absolutely worldly against Paul Scholes’s team at school (Cardinal Langley) - it was Paul Scholes’s team.

 

[Gavinb33]

We played in a cup game against a team who were the division below and battered them 18-0 I was about 11 or 12 playing on the right wing I set up every goal, at halftime my Dad said if I scored he would give me £5 I just couldn't get a goal in the end but 18 assists still got £5 off my Dad

 

[Catt]

My coach when I played girls football told the team "if you all could pass like Catt, we wouldn't be in this mess" I was obviously the girly version of Paul Scholes. Much cuter though.

 

[The Nani]

Got sucked into a pickup match with a bunch of local university players a year or two ago even though I had no business doing so in my middle-aged state.

Hit one of the dumbest volleys I’ve ever struck in my life and almost exploded one kid’s testicles in the process.

Glorious day.

 

[Pexbo]

Not football but I nearly went a whole season unbeaten in a pool league when I was 16, format was first to three and my aggregate was 54/5 going into the last week when I got someone’s cigarette ash blown into my eye So I had to wear my glasses instead of contacts and had a gammy eye and lost 3-0 to an absolute donut in my final match. Absolutely killed me at the time

 

[Snafu17]

Not football but I nearly went a whole season unbeaten in a pool league when I was 16, format was first to three and my aggregate was 54/5 going into the last week when I got someone’s cigarette ash blown into my eye So I had to wear my glasses instead of contacts and had a gammy eye and lost 3-0 to an absolute donut in my final match. Absolutely killed me at the time

This reads like a story out of that Mitchell and Webb snooker commentators sketch.

 

[Pexbo]

This reads like a story out of that Mitchell and Webb snooker commentators sketch.

Worse still, in the same fortnight I was mentioned in a weekly review of the weekends football on the leagues website with something along the lines of “Pexbo was playing well on the right wing but with the rain hammering down he was forced to go off with poor visibility through his glasses and hair gel stinging his eyes”.

I never lived that one down, it was my gammy eye that was stinging but they stitched me up like a kipper there

 

[Paul_Scholes18]

I remember being a sub for a game at my local team. We (Man United) had won a big game just before so I was really happy and confident from the start even if I was annoyed not to start the game. Came from the bench and totally dominated the game and we went from 2-0 down to 2-2. Close to go all the way and win it, but it was still very good. Just having some positive energy from the bench can lift a team around. I think it was my confidence and happiness that effected the players around me mainly.

 

[King Eric 7]

I got played on the left wing, presumably because no-one else wanted to play there. Scored a wonder goal with my left foot from outside the penalty area and my school thought I'd be their saviour for the football team. Everyone was talking about "that goal". I had pace and some dribbling skills but sadly just about everything else was lacking and I got badly found out.

 

[Paul_Scholes18]

I once scored all 7 goals in a 5-2 win. I scored straight from the kick off after my second OG. Ran forward a bit, people backed off and I lashed it into the top corner from about 35 yards.

Twice scored from the other teams corners from inside my own box. Both volleys, both times their keeper was way outside his box and I just belted it.

My problem was that I had an abundance of Al Bundy moments and moments of brilliance. I was the master of the spectacular and dramatic. Last minute winners, ridiculous volleys and freekicks. Long range thunderbolts from out of nowhere. I scored from my own half at least 15 times. I could split the defence with a pass at any moment.

It was everything else that was the problem. I could not be trusted to keep posession, my short range passing was erratic at best, I'd switch off defensively and you could not rely on me to finish from 5 yards. Also my penchant for the ridiculous went both ways, some of the OG's I scored were quite frankly mental and you couldn't do them if you tried. I also had a red card in me at any moment.

'
Haha this is totally crazy. Think it is hard to match doing things at both ends.

 

[Posh Red]

I once scored all 7 goals in a 5-2 win. I scored straight from the kick off after my second OG. Ran forward a bit, people backed off and I lashed it into the top corner from about 35 yards.

Twice scored from the other teams corners from inside my own box. Both volleys, both times their keeper was way outside his box and I just belted it.

My problem was that I had an abundance of Al Bundy moments and moments of brilliance. I was the master of the spectacular and dramatic. Last minute winners, ridiculous volleys and freekicks. Long range thunderbolts from out of nowhere. I scored from my own half at least 15 times. I could split the defence with a pass at any moment.

It was everything else that was the problem. I could not be trusted to keep posession, my short range passing was erratic at best, I'd switch off defensively and you could not rely on me to finish from 5 yards. Also my penchant for the ridiculous went both ways, some of the OG's I scored were quite frankly mental and you couldn't do them if you tried. I also had a red card in me at any moment.

Great read

 

[Posh Red]

Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.

 

[The Nani]

I once scored all 7 goals in a 5-2 win. I scored straight from the kick off after my second OG. Ran forward a bit, people backed off and I lashed it into the top corner from about 35 yards.

Twice scored from the other teams corners from inside my own box. Both volleys, both times their keeper was way outside his box and I just belted it.

My problem was that I had an abundance of Al Bundy moments and moments of brilliance. I was the master of the spectacular and dramatic. Last minute winners, ridiculous volleys and freekicks. Long range thunderbolts from out of nowhere. I scored from my own half at least 15 times. I could split the defence with a pass at any moment.

It was everything else that was the problem. I could not be trusted to keep posession, my short range passing was erratic at best, I'd switch off defensively and you could not rely on me to finish from 5 yards. Also my penchant for the ridiculous went both ways, some of the OG's I scored were quite frankly mental and you couldn't do them if you tried. I also had a red card in me at any moment.

And I thought I was a frustrating player. Great stuff.

 

[Sunny Jim]

My firend was a goalkeeper for a team in some shite, but oficially recognized league (5th tier or so). He called me one Day as they needed players. Somehow they managed to register me so i could play. I played as a right winger (dunno why i have no pace, good stamina though). Soo... In the opening 5 minutes i received a ball at halfline, sprinted towards the goal, managed to dribble past one player. I cut in side and hit the ball with my left foot from about 20 meters. The keeper was well beaten... But Ihit the bar at far corner. That's about it.

 

[Acquire Me]

I once scored all 7 goals in a 5-2 win. I scored straight from the kick off after my second OG. Ran forward a bit, people backed off and I lashed it into the top corner from about 35 yards.

Twice scored from the other teams corners from inside my own box. Both volleys, both times their keeper was way outside his box and I just belted it.

My problem was that I had an abundance of Al Bundy moments and moments of brilliance. I was the master of the spectacular and dramatic. Last minute winners, ridiculous volleys and freekicks. Long range thunderbolts from out of nowhere. I scored from my own half at least 15 times. I could split the defence with a pass at any moment.

It was everything else that was the problem. I could not be trusted to keep posession, my short range passing was erratic at best, I'd switch off defensively and you could not rely on me to finish from 5 yards. Also my penchant for the ridiculous went both ways, some of the OG's I scored were quite frankly mental and you couldn't do them if you tried. I also had a red card in me at any moment.

I would love you as a pro. Great read.

 

[Jacob]

As a kid in 7-a-side, I was probably the best in town, scored at least 80 percent of my teams goals and we won pretty much everything we were part of.

As soon as we grew up and transferred to 11-a-side, my poor physique got exposed and I turned shit. The most memorable moment for me was scoring a Stankovic-esque goal from the halfway line with the left foot over the keeper who had made a poor clearance after breaking a counter. This was against the second best team in town and we were mid-table.

 

[Jacob]

I remember watching this futsal game a while back where an acquitance had scored an OG in a cup final. He subbed himself off crying. After plenty of pep-talk by team mates and the coach, he agreed to go on again. He scored the second OG 5 second later. Game finished 1-2 Good watch

 

[Art Vandelay]

'
Haha this is totally crazy. Think it is hard to match doing things at both ends.

Well if you'd seen the actual OG's you'd be baffled. Some of them seemed to defy physics.

I didn't even touch on my tackling. I only really had 3 types of tackle. The last ditch one where I sprint after someone who's gone clean through and put in a perfect tackle or use my pace to just get there at the last second. That one caused me problems, it made people think I could defend when really I was just fast. The other two types of tackle I had were the token gesture just sticking a leg out while hoping for the best which was my go to move and finally what to the untrained eye could look suspiciously like attempted homicide.

Maybe it was all 5 goals in a 3-2 win and I've gotten confused over the years. I definitely scored every single goal in that match. My main memory was a guy turning up late and at half time asking what he missed. He was then told that it was 1-1 and I'd scored twice, his only question was to our keeper "Did he do the back pass thing again?" I did not! My OG was a lovely volley from their corner that I put in the top corner from the edge of our box while getting a bit too casual with a clearance because I was in a bit of a mood that I'd been dragged back to defend.

Then I scored again right after half time from a position where I really should have crossed but instead just hammered it into the far corner. 2-1. Then around 10 minutes after half time the back pass thing happened again, although unusually this one was a header. Again I'm back to defend a corner only this time I'm in our 6 yard box for reasons that escape me and instead of just clearing it I got a few steps ahead of myself. I was heading it back to our keeper so I could sprint forward and he could launch it for a counter attack, I was a genius me. I headed it right back across him into the bottom corner and was being laughed at for I'd done the back pass thing again. 2-2. Kick off comes, I take a step forward thinking I'll just run at them and see what happens. They back off and off, I nudge it out of my feet and bang top corner. 3-2. Then I think I scored two low hard drives. I definitely scored two low hard drives against that team playing into that net and I'm pretty sure they were in that match.

 

[adexkola]

Scored a goal on the half volley right next to the stone marker. Lifted my arms like I was Invictus.

Did a C. Ronaldo dribble (this was 2004-05). Provided several assists in one game. Was called C. Ronaldo for the rest of the camp.

Chested a ball, turned around and did a overhead kick. I'm sure it looked cool from a distance.

 

[adexkola]

It was more enjoyable watching football from the sideline, my school had some great players. We would skip entire periods of class to stay on the football pitch and play some version of pick up football. Teams of 5 - 7 each. First to score stays on against a new team. Surface was this fine yet hard sand that had the perfect pace just after a rain.

Remember one match where one team was talking shit, and the other side proceeded to humiliate them for a few minutes with legovers and nutmegs. Sent the keeper sliding twice before knocking the ball between the stones

 

[Billy Blaggs]

I scored a bicycle kick from about 25 yards once. Easily the best goal I ever scored. And yes it was in an adult game

Getting that in before the jokes!

 

[Paul_Scholes18]

Well if you'd seen the actual OG's you'd be baffled. Some of them seemed to defy physics.

I didn't even touch on my tackling. I only really had 3 types of tackle. The last ditch one where I sprint after someone who's gone clean through and put in a perfect tackle or use my pace to just get there at the last second. That one caused me problems, it made people think I could defend when really I was just fast. The other two types of tackle I had were the token gesture just sticking a leg out while hoping for the best which was my go to move and finally what to the untrained eye could look suspiciously like attempted homicide.

Maybe it was all 5 goals in a 3-2 win and I've gotten confused over the years. I definitely scored every single goal in that match. My main memory was a guy turning up late and at half time asking what he missed. He was then told that it was 1-1 and I'd scored twice, his only question was to our keeper "Did he do the back pass thing again?" I did not! My OG was a lovely volley from their corner that I put in the top corner from the edge of our box while getting a bit too casual with a clearance because I was in a bit of a mood that I'd been dragged back to defend.

Then I scored again right after half time from a position where I really should have crossed but instead just hammered it into the far corner. 2-1. Then around 10 minutes after half time the back pass thing happened again, although unusually this one was a header. Again I'm back to defend a corner only this time I'm in our 6 yard box for reasons that escape me and instead of just clearing it I got a few steps ahead of myself. I was heading it back to our keeper so I could sprint forward and he could launch it for a counter attack, I was a genius me. I headed it right back across him into the bottom corner and was being laughed at for I'd done the back pass thing again. 2-2. Kick off comes, I take a step forward thinking I'll just run at them and see what happens. They back off and off, I nudge it out of my feet and bang top corner. 3-2. Then I think I scored two low hard drives. I definitely scored two low hard drives against that team playing into that net and I'm pretty sure they were in that match.

Where is the youtube videos of that game . Is it like Liverpool vs Pickford crazy stuff? I see you explained it all.
It sounds like you would be a Pogba/Phil Jones clone with pure magical stuff at times and doing stupid shit giving away own goals.

 

[Paul_Scholes18]

I scored a bicycle kick from about 25 yards once. Easily the best goal I ever scored. And yes it was in an adult game

Getting that in before the jokes!

It is hard to trust reading all people here. I guess people that only scored regular goals would not bother to post. Still most are probably telling the truth in maybe a bright light though.
I think to lie about great moments would make most people feel bad talking about it with little gain other than being fun to read. I do think most of you guys are telling at least 80% truth.

 

[Arruda]

I scored the only goal in a 15-1 defeat of my 5-a-side team in a tournament on university.

 

[MrMarcello]

Five-a-side match, received a pass just inside our own half and raced down the right wing before a defender caught up to me near the corner flag. I managed to flick the ball between his legs, raced around his left side to regain possession, then did a crossover to meg an arriving defender before smashing a shot left-footed (I'm almost exclusively right-footed) from maybe three yards out, beating the keeper to the near post and high. Same match I smashed a right-footer from maybe 15 yards out before that crazy goal which ended up being damn near the last kick of the match. We lost like 12-6 or something.

 

[Hernandez - BFA]

Scoring a brace for my new team, one was a header (which I'd never scored one before in a match) and the other was a volley from a dropping high ball in a way that I could never hit a football the same way again. 30 yards out - thunderbolt and dipped into top bins. I was too shocked to even celebrate it.