a couple of crackers here indeed !
When Australia toured New Zealand a few years back and Blair Pocock was
opening the batting for the Kiwis. Having played and missed at a couple he
was then approached by Mark Waugh from slip. Waugh pointed at Pocock and
said "oh yeah, I remember you, you toured Australia a couple of years ago.
You were shit then too." Pocock then proceded to hit the next ball for
four and pointed at Waugh and said "oh yeah, I remember you too, you had
that fecking ugly old girlfriend........and then you went and married her
you dumb cnut."
Glenn McGrath (to Otto Brandes, tubby South African no. 11, after a 85 mph
delivery whistles past OB's chin) : Why are you so fat?
OB : Because every time I feck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.
During Australia's last tour of South Africa it was rumoured that Daryll
Cullinan had been consulting a psychologist to exorcise the demons
that appeared whenever Warne removed his hat. No sooner had Cullinan
arrived at the crease than Warne snarled: "I'm going to send you straight
back to your shrink."
Ian Healy once became frustrated with an overweight batsman from a South
African provincial side who seemed not the least interested in
scoring runs. Eventually Healy called to the bowler: "Why don't we put a
Mars bar on a good length to see if we can lure him out of his crease?"
An English county bowler was having surprising success against the great
West Indian Viv Richards, who'd played and missed at several balls.
Foolishly, the bowler piped up: "Hey Viv, it's red and it's round." A
steaming Richards cracked the next ball into another postcode and told the
bowler: "You know what it looks like, man - go fetch it."
Merv Hughes was being Merv, aiming constant abuse at English batsman Robin
Smith. But having been told that he "couldn't bat to save his
fecking life," Smith smashed a four, walked down the pitch and said: "Make
a good pair, don't we? I can't fecking bat and you can't fecking bowl."
Sledging can be plain amusing. It's unlikely Merv Hughes was thinking
tactically when he told a struggling English batsmen: "I'll bowl you a
fecking piano, ya Pommie pooftah. Let's see if you can play that."
During a WSC final at the SCG where the game had been shortened due to
rain
and the atmosphere was running at about 95% humidity a very
exhausted Arjuna Ranatunga appealed that he had "sprained" something. He
duly asked the umpire for a runner. As clear as a bell through the effects
mic you heard Healey's legendary reply "you don't get a runner for being
an
overweight, unfit, fat cnut".
When Australia toured New Zealand a few years back and Blair Pocock was
opening the batting for the Kiwis. Having played and missed at a couple he
was then approached by Mark Waugh from slip. Waugh pointed at Pocock and
said "oh yeah, I remember you, you toured Australia a couple of years ago.
You were shit then too." Pocock then proceded to hit the next ball for
four and pointed at Waugh and said "oh yeah, I remember you too, you had
that fecking ugly old girlfriend........and then you went and married her
you dumb cnut."
Glenn McGrath (to Otto Brandes, tubby South African no. 11, after a 85 mph
delivery whistles past OB's chin) : Why are you so fat?
OB : Because every time I feck your wife, she gives me a biscuit.
During Australia's last tour of South Africa it was rumoured that Daryll
Cullinan had been consulting a psychologist to exorcise the demons
that appeared whenever Warne removed his hat. No sooner had Cullinan
arrived at the crease than Warne snarled: "I'm going to send you straight
back to your shrink."
Ian Healy once became frustrated with an overweight batsman from a South
African provincial side who seemed not the least interested in
scoring runs. Eventually Healy called to the bowler: "Why don't we put a
Mars bar on a good length to see if we can lure him out of his crease?"
An English county bowler was having surprising success against the great
West Indian Viv Richards, who'd played and missed at several balls.
Foolishly, the bowler piped up: "Hey Viv, it's red and it's round." A
steaming Richards cracked the next ball into another postcode and told the
bowler: "You know what it looks like, man - go fetch it."
Merv Hughes was being Merv, aiming constant abuse at English batsman Robin
Smith. But having been told that he "couldn't bat to save his
fecking life," Smith smashed a four, walked down the pitch and said: "Make
a good pair, don't we? I can't fecking bat and you can't fecking bowl."
Sledging can be plain amusing. It's unlikely Merv Hughes was thinking
tactically when he told a struggling English batsmen: "I'll bowl you a
fecking piano, ya Pommie pooftah. Let's see if you can play that."
During a WSC final at the SCG where the game had been shortened due to
rain
and the atmosphere was running at about 95% humidity a very
exhausted Arjuna Ranatunga appealed that he had "sprained" something. He
duly asked the umpire for a runner. As clear as a bell through the effects
mic you heard Healey's legendary reply "you don't get a runner for being
an
overweight, unfit, fat cnut".
