Let's play a new game I just thought of; Gutless or Garbage?
The premise is simple, take a Manchester United player and assess whether he is 'gutless' - cowardly without an ounce of fire, passion or care for the club, 'garbage' - just shite at football, both, or neither.
Andre Onana
I'd say neither. He's shown some fight and taken responsibility for his poor form, and he's displayed his quality elsewhere.
Altay Bayindir
Is he even a real person? Can anyone confirm his existence? If a goalkeeper never plays in goal does it make a sound? Who cares.
Diogo Dalot
I think there is a degree of fight about him, I just think he's crap. Garbage.
Aaron Wan Bissaka
See above.
Raphael Varane
He has immense quality, and I don't think you can go as far as he has in the game as a defender being a coward. I don't like the idea that injuries bring in to question his commitment to the club. Neither.
Lisandro Martinez
Might be the easiest of the whole lot. Neither.
Harry Maguire
Weirdly somewhere between both and neither. I wouldn't say he lacks heart necessarily when he plays, but he does and says very strange off the pitch that call his commitment to the club in to question. As a player I wouldn't say he totally lacks quality, but maybe enough to mean he isn't good enough to play for us. Both or neither, don't really care.
Victor Lindelof
Both. Next.
Johnny Evans
I like Johnny Evans, as a 5th choice emergency centre-half, as an old experienced head who knows the club, I didn't hate the signing. If we're expecting him to consistently play for us though he's garbage.
Luke Shaw
Similar to Varane in that I'm sure some people would say his fitness issues point to him not being fully committed, and I would argue against that strongly. He's certainly not garbage. Neither.
Tyrell Malacia
As a back-up left-back he's 'fine' but let's be real, he's garbage.
Sergio Reguilon
See above.
Casemiro
A very easy neither.
Sofyan Amrabat
Early days. I'm not totally convinced by his quality at the top level but he'll be useful enough this season. Tentatively saying neither.
Scott McTominay
Outright garbage, situationally gutless.
Hannibal Mejbri
Certainly isn't gutless, but I'm not convinced he'll be good enough. Seems harsh to call a 20 year old garbage.
Christian Eriksen
He's a good footballer, I like him. I wouldn't say he's gutless he just offers nothing physically or out of possession which maybe makes him seem like he is. Neither.
Mason Mount
I actually rate him, despite his rubbish last season at Chelsea and being less than pointless at United so far. You could say he's any of the 4 options and I couldn't bring myself to care enough to argue with you.
Donny van de Beek
Who?
Bruno Fernandes
I wouldn't say he's gutless, but I do think people confuse passion and fight with petulance and childishness. I think we sometimes see too much of the latter from Bruno. He's neither though.
Kobe Mainoo
He's an actual child.
Amad Diallo
No idea. Hope he's alright, 'alright' would be great for us at this point.
Facundo Pellistri
No idea about his temperament, but I don't think he's good enough.
Jadon Sancho
God knows on either front.
Alejandro Garnacho
He's inconsistent and childish. He's also barely 19. Neither.
Marcus Rashford
Whatever I say here will get me crucified. Neither.
Antony
I don't know if he's gutless, but again he's a petulant little boy. He's also utter shite. Garbage.
Rasmus Hojlund
Neither.
Anthony Martial
Both (
).
The premise is simple, take a Manchester United player and assess whether he is 'gutless' - cowardly without an ounce of fire, passion or care for the club, 'garbage' - just shite at football, both, or neither.
Andre Onana
I'd say neither. He's shown some fight and taken responsibility for his poor form, and he's displayed his quality elsewhere.
Altay Bayindir
Is he even a real person? Can anyone confirm his existence? If a goalkeeper never plays in goal does it make a sound? Who cares.
Diogo Dalot
I think there is a degree of fight about him, I just think he's crap. Garbage.
Aaron Wan Bissaka
See above.
Raphael Varane
He has immense quality, and I don't think you can go as far as he has in the game as a defender being a coward. I don't like the idea that injuries bring in to question his commitment to the club. Neither.
Lisandro Martinez
Might be the easiest of the whole lot. Neither.
Harry Maguire
Weirdly somewhere between both and neither. I wouldn't say he lacks heart necessarily when he plays, but he does and says very strange off the pitch that call his commitment to the club in to question. As a player I wouldn't say he totally lacks quality, but maybe enough to mean he isn't good enough to play for us. Both or neither, don't really care.
Victor Lindelof
Both. Next.
Johnny Evans
I like Johnny Evans, as a 5th choice emergency centre-half, as an old experienced head who knows the club, I didn't hate the signing. If we're expecting him to consistently play for us though he's garbage.
Luke Shaw
Similar to Varane in that I'm sure some people would say his fitness issues point to him not being fully committed, and I would argue against that strongly. He's certainly not garbage. Neither.
Tyrell Malacia
As a back-up left-back he's 'fine' but let's be real, he's garbage.
Sergio Reguilon
See above.
Casemiro
A very easy neither.
Sofyan Amrabat
Early days. I'm not totally convinced by his quality at the top level but he'll be useful enough this season. Tentatively saying neither.
Scott McTominay
Outright garbage, situationally gutless.
Hannibal Mejbri
Certainly isn't gutless, but I'm not convinced he'll be good enough. Seems harsh to call a 20 year old garbage.
Christian Eriksen
He's a good footballer, I like him. I wouldn't say he's gutless he just offers nothing physically or out of possession which maybe makes him seem like he is. Neither.
Mason Mount
I actually rate him, despite his rubbish last season at Chelsea and being less than pointless at United so far. You could say he's any of the 4 options and I couldn't bring myself to care enough to argue with you.
Donny van de Beek
Who?
Bruno Fernandes
I wouldn't say he's gutless, but I do think people confuse passion and fight with petulance and childishness. I think we sometimes see too much of the latter from Bruno. He's neither though.
Kobe Mainoo
He's an actual child.
Amad Diallo
No idea. Hope he's alright, 'alright' would be great for us at this point.
Facundo Pellistri
No idea about his temperament, but I don't think he's good enough.
Jadon Sancho
God knows on either front.
Alejandro Garnacho
He's inconsistent and childish. He's also barely 19. Neither.
Marcus Rashford
Whatever I say here will get me crucified. Neither.
Antony
I don't know if he's gutless, but again he's a petulant little boy. He's also utter shite. Garbage.
Rasmus Hojlund
Neither.
Anthony Martial
Both (
).