The Queen of Warrington

[Ole_Gunnar]

That's genuine quality right there. It makes Redlambs' stuff look academic.

 

[Redlambs]

That's genuine quality right there. It makes Redlambs' stuff look academic.

At least you are talking about me! I agree btw

 

[kf]

predicament/Dipper cnut

fecking genius mate!

 

[McCool]

Plech, I am impressed and amused!

I could've written something like that, but I went to the pub.

What do you do?

 

[Plechazunga]

predicament/Dipper cnut

fecking genius mate!

Cheers man, I was concerned that one was slightly ropey...

Are you cnuts seeing it correctly aligned? I had it centred, but then when I logged on on a different computer, it was all misaligned, with lines overspilling...

 

[Ole_Gunnar]

We should give Plech some kind of Congressional Medal of Honour with 'caf' replacing the word congressional so it retains it's abbreviation and is duplicitous to net users outside the cafe.

 

[kf]

Plech, you've surpassed yourself.

“Boa tarde,” said the nauseating link-man,
(Which means ‘Good evening’, not ‘The snake’s a spastic’);

They trooped back in, lamenting, “Just our luck,
The Sign’s been on the roof the whole time! Shit!
Damn it, bloody hell, this sodding sucks,
Cocking wanking frigging twatting tit;
cnuting arses, bollocks, bugger, feck,
Pissing bastard quimflaps, cockbiscuit…”
Thus did the gang express their sad regrets,
Like MacEnroe, in traffic, with Tourettes.

Pissing bastard quimflaps, cockbiscuit!

O whitest Snow, how black you are at heart!
(That’s racist); for you make the dreary world
A blank new canvass, primed for vibrant art,
A virgin future, flawlessly unfurled;
A second chance at childhood! A fresh start!
But then you melt, and back our souls are hurled
To jobs and duties, borrowings and spendings,
And council-tax, and shopping-lists, and endings.

I think Lord Byron himself might have been proud of this. He was a gay fecker after all.

When I was just a tiny boy, my mum
Once took me up a hill, upon a sledge;
So far, so good. She then did something dumb,
And left me free, to slide over the edge;
I slammed into a tree, and broke my thumb -
I’m fortunate I wasn’t left a veg;
Why did she leave me? So that she could natter
To some daft bint, re shit that doesn’t matter.

Now you're getting all autobiographical. I can understand your angst. What with being almost murdered by your mother and having part of your knob chopped off.

Creamed David Seaman, as a kind of pun

Yuletide greetings to you and yours and a suggestion for a New Year's Resolution - you should be getting paid for this stuff!

 

[Wibble]

Great touch making the last word spastics.

 

[VP]

Brilliant.

 

[noodlehair]

Absolute class. The man can't hang doors, or feed himself, without arsing it up, but he's an absolute genius at creating huge rhyming stories about weirdos he met on an internet forum.

Top stuff

I had to read it in fecking stages mind, due to it being so long

 

[Dyslexic Untied]

This kind of stuff makes all the shit threads of "Central midfield" or "FCUM vs. MUFC" worthwhile.


Fantastic reading Plech, got better and better as it went on. Genius.

 

[StanTA]

I didn't read it, was it good?

Did like the cameo roll of the Olympic Ihni binni dimi diniwiny anitaime in the group fotos though

 

[Anna_Livia]

Jesus

That is brilliant, and not just cos I sort of get a mention via my missus's snow/death obsession.

"She walks in Bootle"

Too good.

 

[vijay]

Wonderful first post by Plech. But I will read that one day..probably

Merry Xmas

Toodle

 

[Melbourne Red]

That exceded all my expectations.

 

[vijay]

Plech... I read everything.

bloody brilliant..

 

[k-standred]

Very funny Plech

 

[Midfield]

Good stuff, Plech.

How do you made all of this by yourself?

Brilliant

 

[sutty]

Bender

 

[utdalltheway]

here's your little green smiley. well deserved.

you're wasted on here mate.

 

[laura]

Plech,you definitely deserve an award or a medal!

 

[Shane B]

Plech... you are a fecking nutter.

That is a masterpiece.

 

[VanNistelrater]

I only read up to the bit where it insults me.

It was good until then, but since i've decided it's shit.

It's shit.

 

[Youngie]

"When proud youth shrivels, and Viagra calls,
I’ll join the spray o’er high Niagara Falls................."

..Genius!
Should be adapted for Ch4 with Ian Mckellen narrating and starring.... ???
(but that's another thread)

 

[VanNistelrater]

No really Plech, it is genuinely brilliant

feck knows why you spunk your time with us wasters on here!

 

[MadDogg]

Somehow I read all that in one go. A well-used 48 hours.

Incredible work mate (both of the 'that's racist' lines just about made me spit food all over the keyboard), and well worth your little green smilie.

 

[WeasteDevil]

It's shit like this that makes this place the best forum on the Internet, Punto.



Plech you truly are the king of forumosphere funny cnuts.

 

[topper]

I gave up after two lines... what's it about...?

can somebody summarise the bloody thing please

 

[sutty]

can somebody summarise the bloody thing please

Read it, it is excellent

Its a story about a load of gimps, a pub sign, deco and some jism.

 

[Davo]

I'm not reading all that

However, I'm prepared to advance Pletch the following green smilies, on reputation alone



I can't say fairer than that....

 

[Plechazunga]

I'd've taken that in August

Thanks mongos for the kind comments and small green laughing smilies

 

[ERICSAGOD]

Plech, you are without doubt a genius . . . mad, but nonetheless a genius.

I salute you . . . but you obviously have too much time on your hands.

Thank you anyway . . . laughed my balls off, and now I've got to go and find them.

 

[Wibble]

...