Utd Sign Carrick

toxic04

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Maltese Manc said:
Why isnt this oon sky yet ?
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Well its a long story.

The guy who's working on head terminal tonight at sky news (his name is Alan) Well he was sitting down just mooching around waiting for the usual reuter breaking news/phonecalls (afterall that is his job). Anyways to cut a long story short he started to put his finger in his asshole and moving it round it circles. Apparently he could feel his poo moving against his rectum....

So anyways Alan was doing this and still is, despite the Carrick story being breaking news. Although Alan got the earlier story about Ruud, he may end up being fired for not bringing the general public up to date with this story. Apparently this whole finger up his ass and swirling it round felt so good that he's like "Ahhhh yeahhh that's good" right there in his office chair doing that.

P.S. I am not Alan. Just like someone who I know is friends with him
 

WeasteDevil

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toxic04 said:
CARRICK SIGNS



??
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Stop your feckwittery NOW! It isn't big, and it isn't clever, and it's been going on for too long. Either make valid points with words, or do not make them at all in the football sections of the forum.
 

Bearded but no genius

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toxic04 said:
Well its a long story.

The guy who's working on head terminal tonight at sky news (his name is Alan) Well he was sitting down just mooching around waiting for the usual reuter breaking news/phonecalls (afterall that is his job). Anyways to cut a long story short he started to put his finger in his asshole and moving it round it circles. Apparently he could feel his poo moving against his rectum....

So anyways Alan was doing this and still is, despite the Carrick story being breaking news. Although Alan got the earlier story about Ruud, he may end up being fired for not bringing the general public up to date with this story. Apparently this whole finger up his ass and swirling it round felt so good that he's like "Ahhhh yeahhh that's good" right there in his office chair doing that.

P.S. I am not Alan. Just like someone who I know is friends with him
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What the feck is this?
 

JazzG

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About £10mill too much if that £17mill figure is to be believed but Man utd desperately need a player there and the Spuds don't wanna sell so it was bound to be a high figure.
 

toxic04

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K sorry everyone :(

I do enjoy talking on the forums normally and try my best to make good point. I just felt a bit mischievious tonight.

Apologies.
 

Jacob

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I think it will end up with Mascherano and Carrick.. a perfect pairing to me..
Mascherano is the maniac tackler who wins balls for us, while Carrick sprays those around with hopefully good accuracy.
 

Jacob

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Apparently, we are paying £8m upfront, and the rest later.. If we get ~£12m for ruud, that would leave us 4m + our 25m transfer kitty.. Mascherano will probably come for 17m-24m. Which would leave us with 5m over.. With this money we could buy a decent goalie (eg. Kuczczak).

What do you lot think about my masterplan?

Good eh? Carrick, Mascherano and Kuczsak it is then :P
 

toxic04

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Jacob said:
I think it will end up with Mascherano and Carrick.. a perfect pairing to me..
Mascherano is the maniac tackler who wins balls for us, while Carrick sprays those around with hopefully good accuracy.
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Who is Mascherano?










J/K!!

To be honest i'm not sure if we will get both Carrick and Mascherano, but I agree they would be a superb pairing. Not only did Mascherano have a good World Cup but I hear he is also impressive before (for his home club Corithians) The only downside is that Chelsea have strong links w/Corinthians (feeder club right?) Hence...Mascherano is Chelsea bound.
 

skillz

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Do we still do that shitty thing of including the wage packet etc when announcing the Fee, i remember us doing that when we were a plc.

Also we have paid a bit over the top, i think 12mill is a good price for him.

Now we have swapped Ruud for Carrick,

I still reckon 1 more mid and now a young striker (not Defoe he is too small to play our system). Other than Fernando-I aiint ever leaving- Torres any ideas?
 

toxic04

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skillz said:
Do we still do that shitty thing of including the wage packet etc when announcing the Fee, i remember us doing that when we were a plc.

Also we have paid a bit over the top, i think 12mill is a good price for him.

Now we have swapped Ruud for Carrick,

I still reckon 1 more mid and now a young striker (not Defoe he is too small to play our system). Other than Fernando-I aiint ever leaving- Torres any ideas?
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Who is Fernando-I aiint ever leaving- Torres any ideas?

Who does he player for? Is there any you tube action of him pumping in the goals?

Lol joke

I hate to say it, but I think Fergie will gamble on Rooney, Rossi, Saha, Smith, Ole.

& If anything happens trust me, the shit will hit the fan in January and the newspapers will be at it that we're after a striker.

I hear theres some good talent from Huntlaar (spelling?). Hopefully he dosen't sign Zlatan this summer though.

Well feck it..there's always Kluivert availbile too.:p
 

Red Indian Chief Torn Rubber

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Amir said:
Yep, great mind games, we end up paying 14m or 17m :)

In all honestly, it's a good signing. Chelsea are still far ahead though. Someone compared our midfield to theirs. Problem is, after their first choice three midfielders, comes Essien. With us, IF we sign Mascherano and Carrick, come O'Shea or Fletcher.
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Your wrong! It will be Scholes and Giggs:)
 

Richter

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http://sport.independent.co.uk/football/premiership/article1201257.ece

"There have been further reports linking United with the Argentina defensive midfielder Javier Mascherano, of Corinthians, and Ferguson's interest in him would suggest the United manager believes Carrick alone will not suffice. For all his many qualities as a passer of the ball, the midfielder is not a ball-winner - the like of which United have missed since Roy Keane's departure in November."

"There is also the small matter of another defensive midfielder. Currently it would appear Carrick and Scholes are the favourites to start for United in central midfield, a pairing that lacks a genuine ball-winner."

Looks like we need a ball winner Mozza;)
 

Jacob

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Richter said:
http://sport.independent.co.uk/football/premiership/article1201257.ece

"There have been further reports linking United with the Argentina defensive midfielder Javier Mascherano, of Corinthians, and Ferguson's interest in him would suggest the United manager believes Carrick alone will not suffice. For all his many qualities as a passer of the ball, the midfielder is not a ball-winner - the like of which United have missed since Roy Keane's departure in November."

"There is also the small matter of another defensive midfielder. Currently it would appear Carrick and Scholes are the favourites to start for United in central midfield, a pairing that lacks a genuine ball-winner."

Looks like we need a ball winner Mozza;)
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I say Gattuso or Mascherano, what say you?
 

EspadaYdaga

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toxic04 said:
Well its a long story.

The guy who's working on head terminal tonight at sky news (his name is Alan) Well he was sitting down just mooching around waiting for the usual reuter breaking news/phonecalls (afterall that is his job). Anyways to cut a long story short he started to put his finger in his asshole and moving it round it circles. Apparently he could feel his poo moving against his rectum....

So anyways Alan was doing this and still is, despite the Carrick story being breaking news. Although Alan got the earlier story about Ruud, he may end up being fired for not bringing the general public up to date with this story. Apparently this whole finger up his ass and swirling it round felt so good that he's like "Ahhhh yeahhh that's good" right there in his office chair doing that.

P.S. I am not Alan. Just like someone who I know is friends with him
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:lol: :lol:
 

UBERScholes

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Dead pleased imagining the signing of Carrick is imminent, sometime in these next few hours or weeks imminent, I rate him highly, but surely it would signal the signing of another midfielder, hopefully Mascherano or I dare say Daniele de Rossi, the latter signing after no warning would literally make me cough in astonishment, shit my pants in ecstasy and come in next doors poodle, all at the same time. Anyone ever hear the myth that if you fart, come and sneeze all at the same time you are frozen in that ungodly position for all eternity? That's one Mythbusters wouldn't dare try out, and they didn't even reply when I sent them the letter so clearly they know it's true
 

sele

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bigjet66 said:
Carrick is shit.
If the stories are true, we got screwed.
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based on what he is shit?

he was the main reason spuds challenged for fourth, he performed well in all the big games . i think it is a very good signing expensive but how can you expect teams to sell there best players cheaply.
 

bigjet66

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Carrick will be just like Fletcher/Kleberson/Miller. Without proper cover, he will be useless.
He has got no technical ability, he is not strong, he doesnt tackle, his passing is ok but not M.U.Q, he doesnt score goals, he doesnt deliver assists, he doesnt dominate games.

Even O'Shea is a better player in midfield.

A complete waste of money.
 

Richter

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bigjet66 said:
Carrick will be just like Fletcher/Kleberson/Miller. Without proper cover, he will be useless.
He has got no technical ability, he is not strong, he doesnt tackle, his passing is ok but not M.U.Q, he doesnt score goals, he doesnt deliver assists, he doesnt dominate games.

Even O'Shea is a better player in midfield.

A complete waste of money.
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;gaytard
 

Bearded but no genius

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bigjet66 said:
Ok....

Same quality, then...
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You're insane.

He is a quality distributor of the ball, and a good addition to the squad.

I just hope we also buy a DM to play alongside him so we stay in a 442 formation.
 
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