I just got a PM

[B Cantona]

I tell you what, fair play to you Hectic for some fine prankery, but bloody hell there are some thick bastards down in the newbies

 

[ILBB15]

 

[Hectic]

Another one with someone who hasn't even posted here before.

Racism will not be tolerated on these boards.

One more comment like that and you will be banned.

Ummm..I have not posted before on the board and I'm definitely not racist.

 

[Hectic]

It's about that time.

You have reached the point where promotion is imminent.

The only thing left is for a couple of the Moderation Team to agree with the promotion, but that's just a techicality.

We have a bit of a tradition on the Caf where upon gaining promotion you have to do something, a task which shows you are committed.

It's nothing major, a bit of a laugh is all. Your challenge or assignment if you like is to write backwards for 20 posts.

Just say what you would usually say but type it backwards. It's always a bit of fun and at the end of the day you are a killjoy if you don't do it.

My task when I was promoted last year was to create as many topics in 10 minutes as possible. It was pretty hilarious.

Glad to see you promoted soon anyway so congratulations and welcome aboard. Get started as soon as you can, remember the quicker you do it the shorter your stay in the newbies.

Cheers mate.

That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do on a keyboard, but it was fun after I got the hang of it. Do I get to tell my fellow newbies why I was acting like such a weirdo? Or is this top secret? I'll keep mum if this is supposed to be a secret.

 

[Gobo]

 

[botond]

top secret

 

[Hectic]

Guys!

The big one I was talking about yesterday, the best prank yet has nearly finished and it's worked perfectly. I'm waiting for one last pm from this guy, but it's not even funny how funny it is!

 

[GiggsFan]

hectic this was a master stroke by you. he was literally begging me not to report him

 

[Hectic]

Should I make my own thread with all these pranks inside or just leave it here guys?

 

[Stemmy]

Keep it here as the thread title masks the fact its an actual prank thread.

Allthough since this guy found out it might have blown the cover

https://www.redcafe.net/showthread.php?t=158361

Brilliant though Hectic

 

[Hectic]

feck it you are right.

Plus it's got all the replies and laughs of the other posters which makes it funnier still.

This has been amazing. They are too easy to wind-up. Wait till you see the next one.

 

[Hectic]

Can the mods make a new rule regarding people spamming the place with backwards writing?

 

[Stemmy]

That lad doesnt have much of a sense of humour...he spent the whole time replying to your mans backward posts.

 

[Hectic]

.duarf a sa desopxe eb nac eh os agiL aL ro A eireS ot seog knarF taF epoh fo dnik I

I agree with you wholeheartedly there. Hes shit. Hes always been shit. He always will be shit. Carrick is better than him IMO.

You are hugely bent.

Looks like the other newbies didn't like it so much.

 

[pert]

 

[Stemmy]

Bloody hell your man Nandersoni isn't letting it go

I think you might have hurt his feelings

 

[Hectic]

Don't know what his problem is, feck it I'll prank him later.

 

[Stemmy]

Pit him in an e-debate over the pros and cons of taking things seriously

He'll be pro obviously...

 

[Hectic]

Pit him in an e-debate over the pros and cons of taking things seriously

He'll be pro obviously...

relx and heinzefan, I just got the reply we were waiting for. I'm trying to milk it but he might already know who I am now. Let's see if we can't get one more out of him.

 

[Stemmy]

Hectic now he's really laying into you here....

might be a good opportunity to have a mod PM him a little Banning threat.....one that might be lifted if he completes a certain task

 

[Hectic]

Nah, I know who he is.

He will be banned as soon as a mod see's his thread in the mod/forum anyway.

Funny I didn't recognise him before.

 

[viiinz]

Don't know what his problem is, feck it I'll prank him later.

lets prank him later

 

[botond]

Nah, I know who he is.

He will be banned as soon as a mod see's his thread in the mod/forum anyway.

Funny I didn't recognise him before.

hes hurt, seeing that you promised a promotion for the guy

 

[Hectic]

THE PLAN

I have the plan sorted. Relx want’s serious revenge on his cousin, how do we go about it?

heinzefan and air-_mood is going to post to Kirk Hammett (relx cousin) and complain that the graphic material he is sending them is seriously offensive and he has to stop or they will complain to the mods.

I am then going to pm him and say I have recieved serious complaints about him that exceed simple bannings, I will say I have traced his IP Adress back to his house and give him a little warning and say, yes I know where you live (I have his actual address thanks to relx but can’t post due to security reasons) and then I will tell him the internet police have been informed as it's a serious charge.

Here is heinze's complaint to Kirk.

hey man will you stop sending disgusting porn links to me via private message. im not that type of guy. im not as disgusting as you.
so STOP being such a dick man.

Following heinze’s and air’s pm’s of complaint, I wrote this to Kirk.

We have received serious complaints from other posters about you. It seems you have grossly misused your private message functions and have been sending extremely graphic material to posters.

Not only is this sort of behaviour completely against the Redcafe.net rules, but it seems you have seriously offended one of the posters, who I might add is a minor. These actions are nothing short of disgusting. I will allow you to state your case before you are permanently banned from these forums.

I was worried he might not take the bait, but that was until heinzefan showed me Kirks reply.

no mate I swear I didn't send any porn links to anyone here honest. my account was probably hacked and another person send them to you please don't report to the mods they might take serious action

As well as this to me:

i didn't send any porn links sir, seems like someone hacked my account then sent those porn links using this account. i swear i didn't do it, honest. i admit i surf porn, but i don't forward links to other people. please be lenient on this sir, please i beg you.

Notice he calls me sir.

After a couple replies here and there from heinzefan, Kirk begins to lose it:

no no no i didn't send anything man. the pm i sent to you was the first time i've ever used the function. do the right thing man, don't report me for an offense i didn't commit. please i beg you. i'll say it again, do the right thing man, do the right thing. Doing the right thing isn't reporting me to the mods, just ignore the offensive pms the other guy sent you.

Then:

job man, good job. i hope you feel better ya bloody grass. you wank at Gabby Heinze's photos before you sleep, that explains your chosen nickname. i suggest you change your nickname to grassman, yes grassman.

or maybe grassfan, whichever you prefer.

So, I thought to myself, how can we really scare him. So I sent him this:

It seems you have not heeded my previous comments. You continue to send abusive graphic material to posters, one of which is nowhere near old enough to view such material.

I have no choice but to pass this on to the IWF (Internet Watch Foundation) who deal with individuals like you, who send abusive images to minors. We have of course alerted your Internet Service Provider - Singnet about your actions. If you think this is an idol threat then you are mistaken.

We are very serious about our posters on here, and our no tolerance attitude is effective. We have traced your IP Address back to the following residence: (Can’t show for security reasons)

This information has been forwarded to the proper authorities.

What do you have to say for yourself?

He came back shook!

i didn't do it sir, why don't you check the list of IPs which logged in to my account, that should give you the IP address of the real culprit. you got my residence spot on too, i don't think it's a joke.

do the right thing sir, do the right thing. i swear i didn't do anything wrong so far here. i've been framed.

I tried to milk it for another response:

You sound pretty honest to be far but the charges are extremely serious.

The address was no joke, it should have been perfect. I'm not sure what to do with this now, I will have to investigate it further and then discuss it with the Moderation Team.

I don't want to have to send this to the police, but it is just that serious.

Have you anything to say that could convince me this definately wasn't you?

Finally, he came back with this. He has a long way to go in life

i still have a long way to go in life, just hope that you scan the IP addresses that were used to login into my account here. it wasn't me, and i'm 100% sure that it was another person framing me. i didn't post anything disturbing here. leniency is the best policy in this case.

Now that’s a prank! He even admitted to surfing porn!

 

[GiggsFan]

lets prank him later

im in of your in

 

[Hectic]

fecking hell you got me there!! that bitch was behind this all along?!!?

good stuff man, no worries i don't take things to seriously . i guess i deserve this for all the pranks i done to relx. i actually texted him to ask who are you, he said i'm in big trouble if you sent me a pm.

feck this is embarrasing

Oh yes Kirk, you took things very seriously.

 

[Gobo]

hats off, thats the best one yet

 

[manxmanc]

Hectic this stuff is stuff on legends, its hilarious!


That Nandercunt is a spastic! Revelz/Balboa by any chance?

 

[Stemmy]

Bloody hell Hectic that ones brilliant..nearly in tears laughing at my desk here

 

[Hectic]

Hectic this stuff is stuff on legends, its hilarious!


That Nandercunt is a spastic! Revelz/Balboa by any chance?

It's Slabber or revelz or one of the SA lot.

I can't stop laughing at the kirk one.

 

[viiinz]

i wonder what relx will say about this

 

[Hectic]

cheers, i have to go now. it was a very well-planned prank, i can't believe that bitch was behind this all along.

Hehe! I take the crown for this one.

relx, your cousin has been done over!

 

[Hectic]

fecksake, I nearly has the IWF (Internet Watch Foundation) after him!



Wait till the mods see this.

 

[botond]

 

[manxmanc]

It's Slabber or revelz or one of the SA lot.

I can't stop laughing at the kirk one.

Ffs they can't leave us and the other site alone!

That Kirk one was the best yet! You had him properly going, good work!

 

[massey]

" i still have a long way to go in life" feck sake that was brilliant hectic.

 

[Marcosdeto]

"i admit i surf porn, but i don't forward links to other people. please be lenient on this sir, please i beg you"

 

[ALX8725]

!tnuc gnikat ssip uoy citceH sknahT

I got promoted!!!!

I beam with pride!

 

[Hectic]

!tnuc gnikat ssip uoy citceH sknahT

I got promoted!!!!

I beam with pride!

Good man, I'm glad to see you were.

Check out the pranks above!

Kirk

 

[Stemmy]

!tnuc gnikat ssip uoy citceH sknahT

I got promoted!!!!

I beam with pride!

Haha fair play mate, that was a good one....

Should read kirks though, fecking priceless