101 Uses for Emmanuel Eboue

noodlehair

"It's like..."
Joined
Apr 1, 2004
Messages
18,302
Location
Flagg
1. A Wheel

Scousers stolen your car wheel? Don't waste your money on expensive tyres and crap, simply attach Emmanuel Eboue to the underside of your car, and away you go

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2. A Lava Lamp

Why spend silly money on a spastic glow in the dark bubble machine;

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Simply get a load of these up on your computer screen, and dim the lights. Hypnotic
 
3. Cricket Ball

Fancy a game of cricket? Emmanuel Eboue's incredible rolling motion makes him a perfect cricket ball

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Looks like he's heading for the boundary
 
4. Steam Roller

Flatten crops, other people's cars, pets, valuables and what have you

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5. A giant tortilla roller.

Always dreamt of making the worlds largest tortilla but having trouble rolling it? Well now all your problems are solved with this life size roller! Simply wrap your tortilla around Eboue and watch him go!

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6. Rolling fireball of death

No army ever won a war without setting things on fire and sending them the way of the enemy.
Set Emmanuel Eboue on fire, and watch him roll his way through the entire enemy camp, causing an emmediate, unconditional surrender. Probably

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7. Lawnmower.

Can't afford one of those fancy "sit on and drive" types the neighbours shows off with every other weekend? Then for the ultimate act ofone upmanship that will put the Jones' well and truly in their place simply take one rubbish Arsenal player, attach blades and tell him it's the Champions League final.

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8. Bowling ball

Ever wanted tthat perfect game? Not working for you with the current balls? Simply pick up an Eboue and watch him roll down the lane hitting strike after strike
 
Doesnt he break the law of perpetual motion?
 
9. Garden sprinkler

Fed up of trying to set up a sprinkler in your garden? Simply wrap Eboue in a hose pipe and watch him as he rolls around your garden, growing flowers in his wake.
 
Namliam said:
Yes he does. He actually gets faster 'mid roll'.

He defies all laws of physics.

Eboue.
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The lad got badly exposed for the first. Good going forward but a bit suspect defending!!
 
Namliam said:
I have to point out that this probably wouldn't work.

Still 93 more uses to list.
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I never said anything about the uses being practical.
Evra as a footballer probably wouldn't work, but it's happened
 
11. Pomegranet juice maker

Simpley drop him in a batch of of pomegranets and watch the mouth watering juice squirt from the fruits
 
13. Superhero

Not sure how this would work exactly. Most superhero's are basically crap though. I mean, come on, Batman? rubbish. RollerBoue would flatten him no problem

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Are we skipping 12? Its a good way of skipping our target. I'll go for 63.

Street cleaner. simply let him rolling the streets and watch as that nuisance chewing gum attaches itself to Eboue, leaving the streets clean and sticky free.
 
SmashedHombre said:
Are we skipping 12? Its a good way of skipping our target. I'll go for 63.

Street cleaner. simply let him rolling the streets and watch as that nuisance chewing gum attaches itself to Eboue, leaving the streets clean and sticky free.
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I'll interject:

12. Thread winding machine - Roll up your yards and yards of thread/wool easily by this 2006 version. Also comes in red.
 
Crowd disperser and riot breaker. Those scousers getting rowdy again? Simply deploy Eboue and watch the crowds disappear.
 
17.Snake catcher.

Having trouble catching those pesky snakes? Let loose an Eboue and watch as he rolls over the slithery creatures, tangling round his body. THe end result is a conveniently knotted serpent.
 
18 Hamster excerciser. My hanster is gettign a bit fat and can't get around like he used to so I tie a rubber band to him and put the other end on my hamster's wheel. and as he turns the whell turns and hammy gets some excercise.
 
noodlehair said:
13. Superhero

Not sure how this would work exactly. Most superhero's are basically crap though. I mean, come on, Batman? rubbish. RollerBoue would flatten him no problem

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:lol: Best yet.
 
28 - Live dummy for Fire Safety
"Stop, drop, and roll"
 
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