Constructive things you would say to each United player

[Marcus]

Of course Ole is the coach and the players should stick with what he instructs, but that aside, what would you say to our players to get them to improve?

Rashford - Run down the channels and get in behind the fullbacks more. Shoot from distance by all means but no further than 3 meters outside the box. Have composure in front of goal and pass the ball into the net. Just like you did when Ole first took over.

Pogba - Keep things simple, since your natural tendancy is to overcomplicate. Don't hold on the ball to the last moment drawing 2 or 3 players to you. That is a high risk move because your pass might be desparate at that stage and if your team mate loses control, the team will be on the backdoor. Take the long-range freekicks for United.

Lingard - Your job is to make sure that you are always at the correct angle to be open for your team mates to pass to you. You have licence to dribble and run and players but since your ball control is not great, don't put yourself in tight situations where turnover puts the team in trouble.

Lindelof - Your previous manager identified heading as a problem of yours. Go and work on your jumping and practice heading. If Rooney could improve on his heading, so can you. Also, maybe shave your head bald again. You look more intimidating to your opponents and maybe your heading will improve also with less hair in your face.

 

[Sir Scott McToMinay]

Juan Mata - run faster.

 

[fergiesarmy1]

Pogba - put a shift in

 

[horsechoker]

Attack the space

 

[Foxbatt]

Kick the hell out of the opposition.

 

[Sky1981]

Either ole is dumber than us, or we think we know more than ole.

I dont think ole's extraordinary manager, but to think we know better than him is absurd.

Yes sometimes a managers decision can be mindboggling, like those time when saf put giggs in the middle against tiki taka barcelona, but they must see something we dont and did it for a reason, hindsight aside

 

[Sterling Archer]

Constructive?

Leave pride rock and never come back.

 

[Foxbatt]

Sometimes they simply feck up. They are not infallible and to say that everyone here on CAF has no idea about football is simply not true.
Players may have been top class but as coaches they may not be so bright.
A lot of ex players try to do what their manager did when they were players. Even Pep but he has also expanded it.
SAF should have won a lot more in Europe it not for his bad tactics. People should look at what Gary Neville has said about the preparation for the Barca semi final by Carlos Quiroz. It shows how methodical he was in the tactics. He said they practiced the movement without the ball too.

 

[tenpoless]

Phil Jones - stop talking shit about your manager
Lingard - you can be a club legend at MK Dons
Fred - Robinho legend at Madrid, you want follow?

 

[Feed Me]

Piss off and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

 

[TheReligion]

Are we really telling Lindleof to shave his head to become intimidating

 

[The Man Himself]

Young - Retire.

 

[Freak]

Lingard - Time to look for a new club.

Rashford - Stop thinking you are Ronaldo because you're not.

 

[ZeMario]

To everyone:

If you're not making runs in front of the ball when we are attacking teams who are in balance defensively- you will be sold tomorrow. No more standing still waiting for a pass to your feet.

 

[Tickle Lad]

Show appreciation to your parents. Even if they made mistakes they still brought you up to the best of their abilities.

 

[mattunited1978]

James - fake the cross more

Rashford - get your head up and have a look

Lingard - Fek off

 

[Robbie Boy]

To all: Stop being so ridiculously shit.

 

[Kostur]

feck off.

 

[norm87cro]

Lindelof: grow a pair

 

[red4ever 79]

Rashford - Dont ever take another fk again and play on the left
Lingard - Here is your P45
Young - Goodnight
Jones - F*ck off

 

[Rockets Redglare]

Phil Jones- make sure your boots are on the right feet.

 

[Steve Bruce]

For a lot of them, I'd offer them career advice...... Change career

 

[dev1l]

@Marcus you re asking too much from certain posters. They have an aversion to the word "constructive" and anything which sounds remotely positive.

 

[simon240781]

James and wan bissaka don't let the deadwood drag you down to their level

 

[Amerifan]

It’s your job is to make the shirt look good, not the other way around.

 

[MAME DIOUF 32]

Rojo - you just need to turn the dial back to the left a bit.

 

[MyOnlySolskjaer]

I don't like any of you dickheads.

 

[OleGunnar20]

I don't like any of you dickheads.

Can't fault the honesty

Mata - You were a footballer once. Take this ayahuasca and rediscover the magic of the universe and passing the ball forwards sometimes.

 

[tenpoless]

I don't like any of you dickheads.

@Marcus you re asking too much from certain posters. They have an aversion to the word "constructive" and anything which sounds remotely positive.

He's Rashford, give him a break

 

[Tincanalley]

De Gea - “look up”
Lindelof - “keep taking the supplements”
Maguire- “Don’t worry, you’ll soon wake up”
Shaw - “that’s Anderson’s locker!”
Pogba - “you are not a United legend yet; doing simple things well might make you one. And... get a decent agent”
Rashford - “bring your football brain to work this week”
Mata “your helicopter is here”
Wan Bissaka “go Wan!!”

 

[patty123]

Phil Jones - stop talking shit about your manager

Agreed, as when you are being made a fool of on EA latest fifa 20 game thing, where he falls over and the opposing players stop and laugh at him, hardly in a position to slate others.

Martial stop doing an impression of Nani's hot and cold nonsense

Rashford leave you're ego at the door as heart drops when this guy steps up to take a free kick and learn not to be so greedy when you have no clear shot.

Mata stay the heck off SM after a lousy performance and promising greatness in the next match, as it seems you're doing that since you joined and its repetitive now.

 

[Tincanalley]

De Gea - “look up”
Lindelof - “keep taking the supplements”
Maguire- “Don’t worry, you’ll soon wake up”
Shaw - “that’s Anderson’s locker!”
Pogba - “you are not a United legend yet; doing simple things well might make you one. And... get a decent agent”
Rashford - “bring your football brain to work this week”
Mata “your helicopter is here”
Wan Bissaka “go Wan!!”

Oh Yea Phil Jones. “Watch the spinning disk. You are hypnotized. Now, Go Tackle Woodward.”

 

[Lentwood]

One constructive thing you can apply across the board

This is Manchester Utd, you should be passing forwards at every opportunity

 

[Decomposing In Paris]

Wear sunscreen.

 

[Relevated]

Lee grant - stop being greedy and throw a few quid my way

 

[wolvored]

Jones Lingard Mata Matic Rojo you would make great league 1 or 2 players. Rashford Martial when you play do the complete opposite of what you where going to do and you will become better players.

 

[Offsideagain]

Paul Pogba ‘ You are not worth the £600,000 per week your agent is apparently asking for. Bugger off if you don’t want to play for us or get your head down and put in a shift or two.

 

[Sparky_Hughes]

Lingard, leave, now, don't talk, don't look back, just sod off.
Pogba, you aren't as good as you think you are...... Yet.
De gea........ Concentrate
Rashford, reign the ego in and do what got you here, also not as good as you think you are yet.

 

[manunited1919]

Lingard: your social media is calling you. You are now famous beyond your dreams and every day you become more and more famous. Go ahead, quit United, wear pink glasses, and start a rock band. You will then see threads which read “Loving Lingard” instead of “Hating Lingard” in the CAF.

Mata: Please help our team some more as a player/coach. You won’t get many starts, but you will still get to mentor our future players. And by all means, keep writing that blog.

Matic: Your phone just rang, Alexis and Romelu want you to come over for a party. Here, use my jet to get there, and by all means go there with your lovely wife, she will love Milan and won’t want to come back.

Rashford: We want you to keep scoring goals and developing, but you need to start using your head some more. How should you use your head? a) By practicing your heading every single day and learning to head the ball, like Cristiano used to do. b) By looking up, thinking quickly and passing to an open teammate. You know assists are like half goals, get more of those. c). Never use your head to hang shiny golden names from it. That Rashy thingy - donate it to a good cause or melt it, we don’t want to see it again. Finally, when you score 20 and assist 15, you will shut your critics up. Until then, put your head down and work hard, for the team.

 

[Deery]

Fred- You’re not really shit people just think you are.