How can we cheat against Italy?

[horsechoker]

I hope Gareth is showing the lads this, it will be difficult because Italy are good cheats themselves.

I'd play Grealish because he attracts a lot of fouls but I'd get him in the box and tell him to flop around like a fish.

Same for Sterling.

I'd have Kane backing up into Donarumma like he wants to twerk on him.

 

[arthurka]

I hope Gareth is showing the lads this, it will be difficult because Italy are good cheats themselves.

I'd play Grealish because he attracts a lot of fouls but I'd get him in the box and tell him to flop around like a fish.

Same for Sterling.

I'd have Kane backing up into Donarumma like he wants to twerk on him.

Enough

 

[Nick7]

 

[T00lsh3d]

I hope Gareth is showing the lads this, it will be difficult because Italy are good cheats themselves.

I'd play Grealish because he attracts a lot of fouls but I'd get him in the box and tell him to flop around like a fish.

Same for Sterling.

I'd have Kane backing up into Donarumma like he wants to twerk on him.

What are you on about mate? England don’t cheat….it’s those bloody foreigners with does it

 

[Snowjoe]

I wish we’d started doing this years ago, now I know how good the other counties feel when you win after something like this any everyone hates you. Feels great

 

[Ronaldo's ego]

I’ve already made some calls to have a few Italian lads kidnapped. Don’t tell anyone.

 

[Vidyoyo]

God that kit is the loveliest shade of blue

 

[horsechoker]

I’ve already made some calls to have a few Italian lads kidnapped. Don’t tell anyone.

I've had this Italian plumber's girlfriend kidnapped, no chances he's getting past the small armless creatures that guard my castle.

 

[FreakyJim]

Just keep following Dave Wilson's school of football and you'll be fine.

 

[Reiver]

Just play Sterling. Judging by that penalty tonight, England will cheat just fine.

 

[RedTiger]

We could inject the Italian player's arms with a neurotoxin that renders the arms paralyzed so the Italians can't communicate with the ref when we do cheat on the pitch.

 

[Alex99]

I wish we’d started doing this years ago, now I know how good the other counties feel when you win after something like this any everyone hates you. Feels great

It's amazing.

Fecking Barcelona fans crying about diving

 

[Paxi]

They'll be asking for their sisters shirt all game long.

 

[Idxomer]

Not gonna happen with Chiellini around.

 

[Raw]

It's amazing.

Fecking Barcelona fans crying about diving

Truly an amazing feeling

 

[giorno]

19 years and a world cup later and i still get ptsd from that fecking game

 

[arnie_ni]

You'll be out cheated I've no doubt

 

[giorno]

Pft. England's chef will be italian, he'll take care of everything

 

[T00lsh3d]

Not gonna happen with Chiellini around.

Chiellini vs Kane will be some high level shithousery

 

[Phil]

It's amazing.

Fecking Barcelona fans crying about diving

We will be out cheated and we won't like it one bit.

 

[Scorpy]

Not gonna happen with Chiellini around.

Laughed a lot at this yesterday. Too bad it's not showing where he picked him up at the end

 

[PoTMS]

I wish we’d started doing this years ago, now I know how good the other counties feel when you win after something like this any everyone hates you. Feels great

It's amazing, isn't it? We're all apparently arrogant so may as well play up to the stereotype.

 

[FreakyJim]

taking on the Italians in cheating, that is ambitious and brave

 

[Alex99]

We will be out cheated and we won't like it one bit.

It's baffling how many people seem to forget about very basic aspects of supporting a football team when it comes to England.

Suddenly the concept of celebrating a victory despite a controversial decision is alien and enough to turn them off the sport.

 

[horsechoker]

Just imagine, it's 1-1 in the second half of extra time. England have a sub remaining, who could it be? Sancho? Rashford? Grealish? Calvert Lewin?

He takes off his tracksuit

What? WHAT? I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

IT'S SON HEUNG MING! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? HE'S JOINED THE NWO ENGLAND, YOU SON OF A BITCH.

Son saunters onto the pitch to Jimi Hendrix's voodoo child and plays 20 one twos with Kane around the entire Italian team, cooly slotting it home.

It's coming home K-Pop remix goes 20 times platinum

 

[giorno]

I would genuinely be so angry if you actually manage to outcheat us

It's fine if you win, but cheating is *our* thing damnit

 

[0le]

Contender for thread of the year.

 

[Trequarista10]

We'll have to up our game against Italy. They are the masters of the dark arts.

The diving is good for England, but we need to work on our expressions of pain. We need to lose the English pride and sportsmanship. No putting on a brave face and getting back to your feet to show you're not hurt. We need to practise our screams and give it some rolls on the floor. Getting a penalty or free kick isn't enough, we need to convince the ref to brandish a red card.

I'm hoping the officials from UEFA will be leaving nothing to chance though, and will be supplying the referee with a little envelope before and after the game.

 

[Bepi]

I would genuinely be so angry if you actually manage to outcheat us

It's fine if you win, but cheating is *our* thing damnit

We can start crying wolf in advance, at poor Denmark’s expense.

 

[giorno]

I'm talking actual cheating here, not this lame stuff like diving

I'm talking pulling a juventus. We need Luciano on the case

 

[horsechoker]

I'm talking actual cheating here, not this lame stuff like diving

I'm talking pulling a juventus. We need Luciano on the case

Unfortunately for you lot, England have got a fascist leader and it's in our back yard.

I imagine the ref's family are currently being seized.

 

[redshaw]

Well Italy wrote the book on cheating.

We might need to call up Rashford in extra time if the legs have gone on the others, he's good at drawing fouls

 

[botond]

play with 3 balls this time

 

[Bepi]

I'm talking actual cheating here, not this lame stuff like diving

I'm talking pulling a juventus. We need Luciano on the case

Nah, I would be surprised if our players feel Wembley on Sunday more than theirs. Pickford was unstable already, Maguire was also uncharacteristically aggressive, and Southgate replaced Grealish half an hour after sending him in. They are cooked already. They need to stay into an atomic bunker or they will all be zombies on Sunday.

 

[giorno]

We have Infantino and Collina, i don't understand why our opponents are allowed to field more than 7 players yet

 

[DavidDeSchmikes]

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

 

[babablue]

Laughed a lot at this yesterday. Too bad it's not showing where he picked him up at the end

Loved it as well. Here you go. It's even better with sound

 

[Tacitus56AD]

I like this thread. That`s the right mindset! Beating your opponent with their own weapons.

But be carefull, they`ve been doing this since the Mussolini-days(even got the swedish ref to assist on a goal in that 1934 win).

 

[Martial'sEmergingSmile]

Maybe something with laser pointers?

Oh...no...that already happened.

 

[rimaldo]

Maybe something with laser pointers?

Oh...no...that already happened.

the nights are drawing in. we were being gracious and ensuring kasper’s retinas were attuned and letting enough light in so he could see the ball well enough to save it. our graciousness nearly cost us our place in the final. where are our plaudits?