My mind leak on the transfer situation - ramblings of an moronic fan

Murder on Zidane's Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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I've been thinking about what we need to do over the next two transfer windows and thought I'd verbally vomit all over the Cafe. The transfer plan over the next two/three windows needs to focus more on players out before players in.

PLAYERS OUT

Pogba

Goodnight sweet prince, was so incredibly excited at your arrival but it has been the most disappointing transfer for me of recent years, perhaps ever. The cost to keep him here, the actual impact on the pitch just doesn't match and I am now sure he needs to be sold. We have mismanaged his situation, allowed his agent to speak about affairs in public and probably (benefit of doubt) probably been pretty poor ourselves. I doubt we can get a fee but getting his extortionate package off of the wage bill would be highly beneficial.
+ £10m

Martial

One of the biggest bluffers at the club. Rarely does a player have a career that peaks on their debut and then is all downhill from there. A real lesson here is that you should not give all young players the benefit of the doubt. If the rumours are true that certain Glazer's really like him, ignore your owners opinion every time and get rid. I honestly haven't enjoyed watching him play for years. I feel his professionalism is lacking and his overall ability is only shown in YouTube compilations from games played before the Trump administration. Huge contract reward for quite literally nothing. This lowers our ability to generate a fee for him, think we will be lucky to get back what we initially paid but here's hoping his agent does us a solid and get's a medium club with a rich owner to part ways with some dough.
+ £30m

Matic

Time to head out to pasture old chap. It's been a good run but we spent very highly on the player you were 24 months previously. I rate you higher on the ball than Fred and Scott but that isn't so much a compliment rather a sad indictment of the state of our midfield. Can do a job, just not sure that's starting midfielder for Manchester United. Perhaps another Jose / Agent backhander and you can enjoy a semi-retirement in Rome.
+ £12m

Dalot

I hear Wolvehampton is nice this time of year! When Gary Neville tries to prasie your selection on MNF by saying that "he's a powerful runner" we know that he cannot spot any footballing attributes. The fact is you are not a powerful runner makes Neville's comments all the more amusing and I imagine were decided on by committe in his mates WhatsApp group. Time to go.
+ £20m

Bailly

I like Bailly, I really do. I like his spirit and the chaos he brings to almost every game and on his day, he is a great one v one defender. It's a shame his day is once every leap year. Just as likely as to headbutt his own knee than he is to play a full 90 mins, it's time to go. If there was a way to ship Maguire from the club then he would be in his place but alas the club will never sanction that so it must be Eric who leaves us. + £15m

Donny Van de Beek

Casper, rarely ever seen on the pitch and when he is, has all the prescence of a friendly ghost. Reports from training that he is impeccable technically but cannot cover ground. Now I am not sure if this is true or there is a personality clash but this has been the strangest transfer of recent times. Two managers in a row not rating a player when the current system is clearly broken speaks volumes. I'd say try and get him to Madrid or Dortmund or wherever will take him before his stock drops.
+ £25m

Dean Henderson

Too much hair product, too little ability. Our very own Simon Mignolet. Play for a club getting battered most weeks and you're making saves and showcasing your shot stopping. Get the chance at a bigger club and wilt. The goalkeeping for Salah's goal gives me nightmares. Every time he's played he's made errors and shown his opinion of himself is much higher than that of his actual talent. Pickford mk2. Think Newcastle could be a decent location for him.
+ £30m

Total: £132-142m

PLAYERS IN


Pick two from two of the group below

Group one:

#1 Declan Rice
#2 Jude Bellingham

Group two:

#1 Tchouaméni
#2 Kamara
#3 Bissouma
#4 Haidara

This then gives us a midfield unit of four players who have great mobility, good ball skills and can help dominate bigger games. Spend wise, I reckon if we get near to what he can via sales, this would be a £10-20m net spend to rectify our midfield. We can then look at a replacement RB and CB (Sven Botman etc).
 

FrankDrebin

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Minor Hendo ,I'm sorry but your prices for our players are insane.
 

Thunderhead

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think your valuations on a couple of those players are too high, Matic especially, also doubt you'd find many buyers for those players at the moment.
 

KranjskaKlobasa

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Pogba will do a bosman in the summer so there is no income.
I doubt that any club from Italian retirement league will pay so much for one-legged Matić.
Henderson barely played this season so his stocks have also plummeted, same for VdB.

Only realistic values from the list are the remaining ones - Martial, Dalot and potentialy Bailly if he stays fit for the remaining of the season.
 

Murder on Zidane's Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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think your valuations on a couple of those players are too high, Matic especially, also doubt you'd find many buyers for those players at the moment.
Feel free to amend/change. even if I am 20% off, then we'd still raise £100m which will cover Rice plus 1/3 of another player.
 

BuzzKillington

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I like your optimism and agree they all need to leave, but if we got £80m combined for those players I’d be delighted.
 

Murder on Zidane's Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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Pogba will do a bosman in the summer so there is no income.
I doubt that any club from Italian retirement league will pay so much for one-legged Matić.
Henderson barely played this season so his stocks have also plummeted, same for VdB.

Only realistic values from the list are the remaining ones - Martial, Dalot and potentialy Bailly if he stays fit for the remaining of the season.
£12m for Matic is pittance for a guy who will walk the Italian league.
 

FrankDrebin

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Hendo: £25/30 million

Martial : £12/ 16 million.

Pogba : Free

Matic : £ 3/5 million.

Beek : £15 million

Dalot: £ 7 Million

Baily : £ 6/8 million
 

Samid

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The insane wages we hand out to every man and his dog means we'll rarely get a reasonable fee for any of our players. It would require a Dan James kind of desperation from the likes of Leeds for us to receive a fair offer. Realistically we're looking at:

Pogba free
Martial 15m
Matic 3m
Dalot 10m
Bailly 10m
Beek 15m
Henderson 20m
 

V.O.

Last Man Standing finalist 2019/20
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I'll be impressed if we can get 50p in Zimbabwean notes for what's left of Matic.
 

Lay

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Considering how shite we are at selling players, we should be pleased if we get a quarter of your estimations
 

FrankDrebin

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£12 million for Matic though, the guy can barely run. And you think penny pinching Italian clubs are going to fork out over 10 million for the guy ?

Be lucky to get a tin of Coppola chopped tomatoes for the guy.
 

Bwuk

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Selling Dalot and leaving us with only AWB at right back sounds a great idea
 

VP89

Pogba's biggest fan
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Pogba will go for free, I dont think the wage savings contribute to the transfer fee budget?

If we just stick to transfer fees:
Pogba 0
Lingard 0
Mata 0
VDB 25(?)
Baily 10m
Martial 30 (hed prob go on loan though)
Cavani 0

So we wont actually off load much in terms of transfer fees. That said it should be enough to supplement whatver budget we do have for two midfielders. We also desperately need a proper right back too, not sure why this is overlooked.
 

Murder on Zidane's Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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The insane wages we hand out to every man and his dog means we'll rarely get a reasonable fee for any of our players. It would require a Dan James kind of desperation from the likes of Leeds for us to receive a fair offer. Realistically we're looking at:

Pogba free
Martial 15m
Matic 3m
Dalot 10m
Bailly 10m
Beek 15m
Henderson 20m
OK, I think Martial fee is ridiculous levels of pessimism. When Jordan Ibe go for more than that, you have to ask questions.

Even so thats - £73m - 80% of a Declan Rice
 

Murder on Zidane's Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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Selling Dalot and leaving us with only AWB at right back sounds a great idea
This then gives us a midfield unit of four players who have great mobility, good ball skills and can help dominate bigger games. Spend wise, I reckon if we get near to what he can via sales, this would be a £10-20m net spend to rectify our midfield. We can then look at a replacement RB and CB (Sven Botman etc).
You see where I said we look at a replacement RB>??
 

2 man midfield

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What did we get for Ashley Young, 900k? Can’t see anyone in Italy paying us with any money that doesn’t have Mr Monopoly’s face on it
 

CraftySoAndSo

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Sorry, but he would suit Italy down to a T.
I agree he can do very well there but to say he will walk it is a little bit insulting imo. It may not have as much quality as the Premier league but there are a decent amount of teams that play at a good intensity so it's not like he'd be "retiring" like going to China or Middle East or somewhere like that.
 

Turnip

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I think the issue with pricing is that the buying club would no doubt know we want their wages off the books, so no one is going to pay what they're actually worth unless there is a bidding war, which other than maybe Pogba (who will be out of contract so it's irrelevant) I don't see that happening with any of them .
 

VanDeBank

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Mental we're not flogging our shite to Newcastle.

Hendo, AWB, Maguire, VDB, Martial, Lingard, etc, etc.

Instead they seem interested in players we should be into. Tripp, Sangare, etc.
 

Red00012

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Mental we're not flogging our shite to Newcastle.

Hendo, AWB, Maguire, VDB, Martial, Lingard, etc, etc.

Instead they seem interested in players we should be into. Tripp, Sangare, etc.
We as a club probably would sell but their ego’s just wouldn’t allow it to happen
 

BlueHaze

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All I can say is if this club wants to go back to winning things you can forget about this shambles of a transfer policy where be blow £80m a piece on players like Rice or Bellingham. Feck that. As if £80m on Maguire is not repulsive enough already.
 

Sarni

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We will get about £15m for Henderson at best, £20m for Martial, £10m each for Dalot and Bailly and nothing for Matic. VDB may actually get us £25m indeed.
 

Murder on Zidane's Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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Henderson is a big, British GK prospect. Kepa went for £75m and he is like a human colander. If Pickford can go for £35m several years back, he can go for £30m.
 
Opinion on signings New

Murder on Zidane's Floor

You'd better not kill Giroud
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I feel like everyone is fixated on the prices - as if they are WILDLY ridiculous. The point is raising money to lower net spend on bigger acquisitions. What would people do with the money raised? Who would they focus the cash on?
 

bond19821982

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Since you have called yourself as a moronic fan, I have nothing to add about the OP.

As you rightly said, it's moronic to expect any of the values for that players. No one is paying that.
 

Lash

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For me, I would spend our reduced wage budget on getting different profiles in. Shifting out our bloated squad, only to pile it all into something like Rice or Bellingham doens't seem sensible.

I'd invest in couple of defensive minded CMs (Zakaria/Kamara or a leftfield signing that RB teams seem to do), a more experienced creative CM with good technique (Tej Savanier for example) and then start to bring through our younger players into the fold - Mejbri, Garner, Galbraith.
 

userman

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I've been thinking about what we need to do over the next two transfer windows and thought I'd verbally vomit all over the Cafe. The transfer plan over the next two/three windows needs to focus more on players out before players in.

PLAYERS OUT

Pogba

Goodnight sweet prince, was so incredibly excited at your arrival but it has been the most disappointing transfer for me of recent years, perhaps ever. The cost to keep him here, the actual impact on the pitch just doesn't match and I am now sure he needs to be sold. We have mismanaged his situation, allowed his agent to speak about affairs in public and probably (benefit of doubt) probably been pretty poor ourselves. I doubt we can get a fee but getting his extortionate package off of the wage bill would be highly beneficial.
+ £10m

Martial

One of the biggest bluffers at the club. Rarely does a player have a career that peaks on their debut and then is all downhill from there. A real lesson here is that you should not give all young players the benefit of the doubt. If the rumours are true that certain Glazer's really like him, ignore your owners opinion every time and get rid. I honestly haven't enjoyed watching him play for years. I feel his professionalism is lacking and his overall ability is only shown in YouTube compilations from games played before the Trump administration. Huge contract reward for quite literally nothing. This lowers our ability to generate a fee for him, think we will be lucky to get back what we initially paid but here's hoping his agent does us a solid and get's a medium club with a rich owner to part ways with some dough.
+ £30m

Matic

Time to head out to pasture old chap. It's been a good run but we spent very highly on the player you were 24 months previously. I rate you higher on the ball than Fred and Scott but that isn't so much a compliment rather a sad indictment of the state of our midfield. Can do a job, just not sure that's starting midfielder for Manchester United. Perhaps another Jose / Agent backhander and you can enjoy a semi-retirement in Rome.
+ £12m

Dalot

I hear Wolvehampton is nice this time of year! When Gary Neville tries to prasie your selection on MNF by saying that "he's a powerful runner" we know that he cannot spot any footballing attributes. The fact is you are not a powerful runner makes Neville's comments all the more amusing and I imagine were decided on by committe in his mates WhatsApp group. Time to go.
+ £20m

Bailly

I like Bailly, I really do. I like his spirit and the chaos he brings to almost every game and on his day, he is a great one v one defender. It's a shame his day is once every leap year. Just as likely as to headbutt his own knee than he is to play a full 90 mins, it's time to go. If there was a way to ship Maguire from the club then he would be in his place but alas the club will never sanction that so it must be Eric who leaves us. + £15m

Donny Van de Beek

Casper, rarely ever seen on the pitch and when he is, has all the prescence of a friendly ghost. Reports from training that he is impeccable technically but cannot cover ground. Now I am not sure if this is true or there is a personality clash but this has been the strangest transfer of recent times. Two managers in a row not rating a player when the current system is clearly broken speaks volumes. I'd say try and get him to Madrid or Dortmund or wherever will take him before his stock drops.
+ £25m

Dean Henderson

Too much hair product, too little ability. Our very own Simon Mignolet. Play for a club getting battered most weeks and you're making saves and showcasing your shot stopping. Get the chance at a bigger club and wilt. The goalkeeping for Salah's goal gives me nightmares. Every time he's played he's made errors and shown his opinion of himself is much higher than that of his actual talent. Pickford mk2. Think Newcastle could be a decent location for him.
+ £30m

Total: £132-142m

PLAYERS IN


Pick two from two of the group below

Group one:

#1 Declan Rice
#2 Jude Bellingham

Group two:

#1 Tchouaméni
#2 Kamara
#3 Bissouma
#4 Haidara

This then gives us a midfield unit of four players who have great mobility, good ball skills and can help dominate bigger games. Spend wise, I reckon if we get near to what he can via sales, this would be a £10-20m net spend to rectify our midfield. We can then look at a replacement RB and CB (Sven Botman etc).
Good read. One might not agree with the estimated fees but there are certainly transfer fees to receive for the mentioned players that could go into re-investing in new players. We could also add players like Tuanzebe, Williams and Pereira that will hopefully contribute with another 25m in total.
When also considering the vast wages that we free up by getting rid of these players it should be possible to bring in two CM's, a RB, a reserve GK and a and attacking player for next season if the money is spent wisely.
 

Noc-Z

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From the OP list of outgoings:
Pogba will go for free in the summer, I don't imagine Matic commanding a fee, so I'd keep him as a fairly useful squad player for now. I don't see why we should sell Dalot at this time - he has been getting a few games and looking quite decent, but we also haver more pressing concerns so without bringing in a RB, I feel we should keep him for now.
To add:- I would be happy to see Maguire sold, but I know it will absolutely not happen. I just feel he was one of Oles biggest mistakes - the ridiculous transfer fee, the undeserving armband he is completely not up to honouring and his performances overall. I see him as a burden tbh. If there was any way of even loaning him out I would but I know there's a slim to none chance of him leaving. It's time for Mata to go - no fee required. Lingard I think has to go too. Hopefully Pereira turns his loan at Flamengo into a permanent move. I doubt it, so maybe he will move to Spain in the summer. Fred and McT aren't good enough but won't be sold - they should be demoted to squad players. Cavani is going to go in the summer. Ronaldo isn't happy, and no wonder, but I think he will stay another season. Rashford isn't good enough, again, not a player we will sell but I honestly would.

In terms of in - we need a CB, a CDM and a CM urgently. 3 signings I think we need to start to at least stop the rot. In terms of challenging again....we will need more than that in time. We are probably 5-10 years from challenging from the league due to the incompetency and inadequacy running through the club from top to bottom.

With ingoings/outgoings I'd be playing something like this next year:-

Ronaldo (Greenwood as back-up)
New LW Bruno Sancho
New CDM/CM New CDM/CM
Shaw New CB Varane New RB
De Gea

Does Shaw deserve to keep his place - probably not, will we sign 5 new players over this window and then summer? Maybe! but I doubt it.

I had trouble writing out a formation even with the gaps as I don't know what we will play, what works best. Its a bit of a nightmare.
 
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