Pick your all time 5 a side team of favourite nicknames

[simplyared]

Some nicknames we already know. However if you check it out (yes google is allowed) you can find some very interesting and not least funny nicknames of famous players.

Here's my entry:

• The Baldheaded God (Barthez)
• Psycho (Stuart Pierce)
• The Architect (Pirlo)
• Three Lungs (Ji Sung Park)
• Bomber (Gerd Muller)

A fair team, good balance, and nicknames spot on.

Shoot!

 

[FrankDrebin]

"Schnapper" Neur
"Der Kaiser" Franz Beckenbauer
"Captain Future" De Rossi
"White Smoking Jacket" Kaka
"Batigol" Batistuta

 

[Web of Bissaka]

II Fenomeno
Baby-Faced Assassin
Hulk
Ginger Ninja
Black Spider
​

Not a balance team,
so switch Hulk with Edgar"The Pitbull" Davids.

 

[MyOnlySolskjaer]

On behalf of Ole.

Rashy
Giggsy, Butty, Scholsey
Youngy,
Sergy​

 

[Pughnichi]

The Great Dane - Schmeichel
Tarzan - Puyol
Zizou - Zidane
The Divine Ponytail - Baggio
Batigol - Batistuta

 

[Eggric]

Lads I have actually played with in Sunday/Pub league teams:

Big Dave (GK - obviously)
Simple (DF - this was a bit mean...)
Biggest Dave (DF - Dave's bigger friend, also called David)
Tom's mate (MF - we never even attempted to use his real name/nickname)
Ammo (FW - as in, short for "ammunition")

Good banter, I miss those days!

 

[Invictus]

Going with geography-related nicknames!

• Sepp Maier (GK): The Cat of Anzing
• Fabio Cannavaro: The Wall of Berlin
• Paulo Roberto Falcão: The 8th King of Rome
• Francisco Gento: The Storm of the Cantabrian Sea
• Marco van Basten: The Swan of Utrecht

Spoiler: Other interesting ones

Andriy Shevchenko: The Eastern Wind
Pelé: The King of Football
Bastian Schweinsteiger (and others): God of Football
Luigi Riva: The Roar of Thunder
Johan Cruyff: The Redeemer
Matthias Sammer: The Red Baron

 

[Rasendori]

I liked the theme idea from @Invictus .My theme would be names you would expect in a superhero comic/anime. Bearing in mind, Kahn's other nickname was vol-kahn-o I believe Kahn's nickname is particularly fitting as illustrated by

Spoiler: this

Der Titan (Oliver Kahn)
The black marvel = (meravilla negra) (José Leandro Andrade)
The divine master (Domingos Antônio da Guia)
The sacred monster (Mario Coluna)
Black Panther (Eusebio)

 

[1950]

For me a great nickname, even if it's not a comical one, needs an air of levity to go along with the reverence. II Divin Codino is perfect, while anything containing the word 'Prince' is usually borderline cringe.

And kleines, dickes Müller is far, far superior to Bomber.

How about:

Aílton: Kugelblitz (ball-lightning)
Aljoša Asanović: vatreni lakat (fiery elbow)
Stig Tøfting: plæneklipperen (lawnmower)
Servet Çetin: ayıboğan (bear strangler)
Sebastiano Rossi: l'ascensore umano (the human lift)

 

[simplyared]

Big Pete
Sideshow Bob (David Luiz)
The Donkey (Tony Adams)
Captain Marvel (There's only one)
Stan the Man
Like the team, like the names!

 

[simplyared]

Calamity James (goes without saying)
Nutty (Nigel Winterburn)
Cashley (Ashley Cole)
Choccy (Brian McClair)
Shorty (Romario)

 

[djembatheking]

The Great Dane
Dolly
Daisy
Captain Marvel
Le Roi

 

[harms]

I like simple ones.

Freezer (Marc Goodfellow)
Mike - Chris - Dave (Chris Smalling, Kiki Musampa, Cezar Azpilicueta)
Wardrobe (Papa Bouba Diop)

 

[harms]

Some really unique and iconic ones though:

The Galloping Major - El Fenomeno
Bello Di Notte* - Il Divino Codino - The Mighty Mouse
​

*beauty of the night for those who don't know this one. This was a reference to Zbigniew Boniek's outstanding performances in continental competitions, as the European games happened later at night compared to a mid-day Serie A games.

Apparently Sebastiano Rossi was nicknamed "l'ascensore umano", a human elevator. Paddy Long Legs and The Romford Pelé were quite good together. Gullit's — Tulipano Nero (probably wouldn't be widely accepted today?), and Elkjær's the Madman of Lokeren were pretty cool as well.

 

[Tel074]

The best nickname ever was Fitz Hall being called one size

 

[DWelbz19]

That Guy
Welbz - DWelbz - DWelbz19
Welbz Is That Guy
​

 

[youngrell]

The best nickname ever was Fitz Hall being called one size

 

[JJ12]

Big Pete

Vida
Keano
King Eric
Ronnie

 

[paulscholes18]

Great Dane
One Size
Pitbull Captain Marvel
Chucho

 

[simplyared]

The Shower Clearer - Dion Dublin
(A name given to him by Sir Alex)

 

[Web of Bissaka]

Der Titan (Oliver Kahn)
The black marvel = (meravilla negra) (José Leandro Andrade)
The divine master (Domingos Antônio da Guia)
The sacred monster (Mario Coluna)
Black Panther (Eusebio)

Hulk and Captain Marvel?

 

[Web of Bissaka]

JLingz
Messe Lingod
Agent Pogba
Mike
Big Match John

 

[tenpoless]

De Donut (De Gea)
Serbian terminator (Vidic)
DB7 (Beckham)
L'archittetto (Pirlo)
Afro man a.k.a Lanky bastard (Fellaini)

Only tactic is Vidic winning the balls, Beckham & Pirlo always stay behind to send long ball to Fellaini. Fellaini to do whatever it is He wants up front. He should always be at least 1 metre near the Keeper.

 

[Paolo Di Canio]

Slabhead - Harry Maguire

 

[Infordin]

II Fenomeno (Ronaldo)
Czech Fury (Nedved)
The Architect (Pirlo)
Tarzan (Puyol)
Black Spider (Yashin)

 

[simplyared]

Kamikaze - Giorgio Ghezzi (Italian GK)
The Butcher of Bilbao
The Little Witch
The Waving Corn Cob
The Non-Flying Dutchman

 

[Chipper]

More of a "use 5 nicknames that nobody else mentioned yet" team:

The Cat (Peter Bonetti)
Crazy Horse (Emlyn Hughes)
Popeye (Atillio Lombardo)
Jukebox (Gordon Durie)
The White Feather (Fabrizio Ravanelli)

Manager: The Bald Eagle (Jim Smith)

 

[Baneofthegame]

Cesar Azpilicueta - Dave
Éric Cantona - The King
Franz Beckenbauer - Der Kaiser
Fitz Hall - One size
Paulo Futre - La Joya (The Jewel)

 

[RooneyLegend]

Spiderman(Brian Baloyi)
Jaws of life (Andrew Rabutla)
Professor (Mlungisi Ngubane)
16 valve (Doctor Khumalo)
Legs of thunder (Jerry Skhosana)

 

[King Andow]

Clown college graduate Jones
Scooby Doo dressed up as a person (Smalling)
Pastor Fred
Lingardinho
Can't control (Carlton Cole)