It's clearly not a particularly coherent view, but then this isn't an issue where coherence is necessary.
Al, when you're accepting that your position is incoherent, that's surely a good time to step back and wonder whether it's valid.
If you are in the mood for doing that, I think you'll find Mike's point about conservatism and social change is the key one. When it comes to areas like economics, consensus has shifted historically between right and left. For instance, the consensus today favours free markets and few nationalised industries, but also regulation of markets, worker protections and a minimum wage. A Labour government (albeit a centrist one) even gave independence to the central bank.
When it comes to social and civil rights issues, on the other hand, it's hard to think of one where conservatives haven't eventually come to accept that liberals were right. Whether it's slavery, laws against Catholics, universal suffrage, inter-racial marriage, legalisation of homosexuality, whatever, the faction representing the status quo - that is, conservatives - turned out to be wrong, and progressives right (at least as almost everyone sees it today).
Now in every case there were some conservatives who argued the point not on the basis of hatred, but on the basis that making a change kind of felt wrong, and implementing it would be too upsetting for some people, and in the interests of civility and keeping the peace they must be placated. And in each case that was a load of bollocks.
If marriage equality really was such a divisive issue that legislating it was likely to cause serious social conflict, then it might be worth thinking about. (Because I don't think equality trumps all other values in all situations.) But that's clearly not the case here - the worst that will happen is that the Daily Mail will publish fulminating editorials and letters from irate retired colonels.
That last point isn't completely frivolous though. For instance, if democracies continue to expand the circle of those who they consider worth treating well - which is the process at the heart of all these changes - then I reckon in the future the consensus will be that it's wrong to experiment on animals, eat farmed meat and generally use animals' bodies for our own ends. But any government that tried to ban meat now would face immediate dismissal or, if they refused to back down, basically civil war. So here I find the argument that what's morally right (by my lights) should be ignored, and those who are wrong should be appeased, to be persuasive.
Marriage is supposed to be a religious thing, and while it is, the anti-gay marriage bunch will always have an argument - that as said in the bible, it's strictly between a man and a woman.
Well you can get a secular marriage in this country. Loads of people do. So why not let gay people marry?
I'm not sure anyone, in this thread at least, is arguing that religious institutions should be forced to marry gay people.