Songs for Smalling

[ciderman9000000]

He can feel it coming in the air tonight (The Ball)
He's been waiting for this moment for all his life (The Ball)
Can he head it? Smalling in the air tonight (The Ball)
Of course he can, he's fecking massive! (The Ball x2)

 

[ciderman9000000]

Smalling is a massive man, from Maidstone United
Wenger thought he'd signed him up; the Gooners got excited
But Fergie said, "feck that," and rode down south on Gary Neville
Next thing poor old Wenger knew, Smalling's a Red Devil

 

[Chirag]

Smalling is a massive man, from Maidstone United
Wenger thought he'd signed him up; the Gooners got excited
But Fergie said, "feck that," and rode down south on Gary Neville
Next thing poor old Wenger knew, Smalling's at Man United

Fixed.. makes it sound better..

 

[ciderman9000000]

Eat it! (Eat it!)
Eat it! (Eat it!)
Eat that growth hormone, you little brat!
I want a posh car, I want a big home
No son of mine will play for Maidstone
So, eat it!
Just eat it!

 

[ciderman9000000]

Fixed.. makes it sound better..

It doesn't rhyme though, you complete tanker of shite.

 

[Salvation]

Eat it! (Eat it!)
Eat it! (Eat it!)
Eat that growth hormone, you little brat!
I want a posh car, I want a big home
No son of mine will play for Maidstone
So, eat it!
Just eat it!

Well done, Cider

 

[Plechazunga]

To the tune of London Calling, by The Clash:

London’s Smalling, from a faraway town
Where life is a circus, and the mayor is a clown
London’s Smalling, he came up to Manc
Cos we are the champions, and Fulham are wank
London’s Smalling, he’s landed in heaven
He’s playing with Rio, Nemanja and Evans
London’s Smalling, he’ll learn all our ways -
Like flattening strikers, and flattening As...

Their winger has got it, still going, bloody hell,
He’s found space to cross it, ’kinell Rafael,
The keeper is flapping, but I have no fear
Cos Smalling’s among us and he’s...
fecking humungous!

 

[jgraham]

I stumbled across this last night


I laughed

 

[Ivor Ballokov]

To the tune of London Calling, by The Clash:

London’s Smalling, from a faraway town
Where life is a circus, and the mayor is a clown
London’s Smalling, he came up to Manc
Cos we are the champions, and Fulham are wank
London’s Smalling, he’s landed in heaven
He’s playing with Rio, Nemanja and Evans
London’s Smalling, he’ll learn all our ways -
Like flattening strikers, and flattening As...

Their winger has got it, still going, bloody hell,
He’s found space to cross it, ’kinell Rafael,
The keeper is flapping, but I have no fear
Cos Smalling’s among us and he’s...
fecking humungous!

fecking hell, it just kept getting better and better "He’s found space to cross it, ’kinell Rafael,"

 

[GDH]

He’s found space to cross it, ’kinell Rafael,

Haha, brilliant.

 

[Cling Bak]

To the tune of London Calling, by The Clash:

London’s Smalling, from a faraway town
Where life is a circus, and the mayor is a clown
London’s Smalling, he came up to Manc
Cos we are the champions, and Fulham are wank
London’s Smalling, he’s landed in heaven
He’s playing with Rio, Nemanja and Evans
London’s Smalling, he’ll learn all our ways -
Like flattening strikers, and flattening As...

Their winger has got it, still going, bloody hell,
He’s found space to cross it, ’kinell Rafael,
The keeper is flapping, but I have no fear
Cos Smalling’s among us and he’s...
fecking humungous!

Brilliant!!

 

[Decotron]

I stumbled across this last night


I laughed

that sounds like it was recorded in a orphanage toilet

 

[Billy Blaggs]

My five year old son made this up but its pretty class actually lol.

He's big and he's small
and he's big and he's small
and he'll kick the ball (change this to he'll kick your balls)

He's big and he's small
and he's big and he's small
and he'll kick your fecking balls!!
UTD UTD!!!

 

[Plechazunga]

To I Can't Help Falling In Love With You, by Elvis Presley

Six foot four
Seventeen stone two
I can’t help, Smalling will slaughter you.

 

[Plechazunga]

To the tune of Morning Has Broken

Smalling has broken
Your feckin ankle
It's split right open
Look at the blood

Your lung's been punctured
Your spine's been shattered
Your spleen's been ruptured
By his great stud

Smalling has savaged
Most of your organs
Smalling has ravaged
Both of your legs

Your metatarsal
Looks like a train wreck
Have that, you arsehole
Come on you Reds.

 

[Kraftwerker]

 

[jrsenior]

I stumbled across this last night


I laughed

Fecking hell
That ciderman singing?

 

[golden_blunder]

Smalling Smalling
wherever you may be
you shag giraffes in your own country
but it could be worse
you could be scouse
fecking your da in your council house

 

[jrsenior]

Smalling Smalling
wherever you may be
you shag giraffes in your own country
but it could be worse
you could be scouse
fecking your da in your council house

" in your own country", i thought Smalling was english?

 

[Plechazunga]

To the tune of Any Dream Will Do

In London town (in London town)
Lived a lad named Smalling (whoa-oh)
When Fergie saw him (whoa-oh)
He said, "Name your price.

"He'll wear a shirt (he'll wear a shirt)
With a bright red devil (whoa-oh)
Like Gary Neville (whoa-oh)
But in a larger size."

Left Fulham young (left Fulham young)
He's too good for that shite (whoa-oh)
Twice as good as Zat Knight (whoa-oh)
And Aaron Hughes...

And twice as big (and twice as big)
As Alain Goma (whoa-oh)
What a misnomer (whoa-oh)
He's feckin huge.

 

[McLovin]

To the tune of Morning Has Broken

Smalling has broken
Your feckin ankle
It's split right open
Look at the blood

Your lung's been punctured
Your spine's been shattered
Your spleen's been ruptured
By his great stud

Smalling has savaged
Most of your organs
Smalling has ravaged
Both of your legs

Your metatarsal
Looks like a train wreck
Have that, you arsehole
Come on you Reds.

 

[ciderman9000000]

Fecking hell
That ciderman singing?

No that's not me! Sounds like someone with a weasel stuck in their throat.

 

[hungrywing]

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Free Fallin'

Nah, too American.

 

[RednProud]

We're all bigging up Chris Smalling
We're all smiling at his name
It's appalling how he grows
We're all falling at his toes
Cus Chris Smalling will be mauling all our foes.

(to the tune of 'who's that twat from Argentina'

 

[Ole's_toe_poke]

We're all bigging up Chris Smalling
We're all smiling at his name
It's appalling how he grows
We're all falling at his toes
Cus Chris Smalling will be mauling all our foes.

(to the tune of 'who's that twat from Argentina'

Not bad. The best one thus far.

 

[RednProud]

We're all bigging up Chris Smalling
We're all smiling at his name
It's appalling how he grows
We're all falling at his toes
Cus Chris Smalling will be mauling all our foes.

(to the tune of 'who's that twat from Argentina'

Slight improvement

We're all bigging up Chris Smalling
We're all calling out his name
It's appalling how he grows
We're all falling at his toes
Cus Chris Smalling will be mauling all our foes.

 

[Ivor Ballokov]

Weave in now weave out
stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Breath in now breath out
Stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Chris smallin' smallin' smallin'

Now I know ya'll be lovin this shit right here
M.U.F.C whizzkid is right here
People who are scouse with them hands in the air
Cause if you are scared then we don't care
One two three time zoom to the 6
Jonesin for you're kicks and the Chris Smallin' tricks
So where the feck you at punk?
Shut the feck up
And back the feck up
Before we feck your 'tack up
(Throw yo hands up)

Weave in now weave out
stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Breath in now breath out
Stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Chris smallin' smallin' smallin'

YOU wanna mess with the Smalling? - Yeah
You can't mess with the Smalling - Why?
Cause he get it on - When?
Everyday and everynight - Oh
See this gold trophy thing right here - Uh-Hu
Well we're doin it all the time - Wha?
So you better get some better cheats
And uh, get some better dives - Doh!

He got the game set
So don't complain yet
24/7 never beggin for a raincheck
Old school soldier
Musclin' out your hot shit
You look shit
He'll trounce all you spastics
(Throw yo hands up)

Weave in now weave out
stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Breath in now breath out
Stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Chris smallin' smallin' smallin'

Hey ladies Hey fellas
And the people that don't give a feck
All the lovers all the haters
And all the people that call themselves playas
Hot mammas, pimp daddies
And the people rollin' in the Caddies
Hey rockers, hip-hoppers
And everybody all around the world

Weave in now weave out
stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Breath in now breath out
Stood up now falls down
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now

Chris smallin' smallin' smallin'

 

[Plechazunga]

YOU wanna mess with the Smalling? - Yeah
You can't mess with the Smalling - Why?
Cause he get it on - When?
Everyday and everynight - Oh

To the tune of Big Spender

The minute you walked on the pitch
(Bam, bam!)
I could see you were a man of some stature
A real big defender...
Huge looking, really tall
I’d like to say more about you but I know sweet feck all

So let me get right to the point
(Bam, bam!)
Just keep this in mind, and you’ll be a success -

(Diggididiggididiggididiggidy)​

Hey, big defender!
(Bam, bam! da-da)
Defend... a little better than Wes

(Boom, bamba-dam da-da)​

 

[Red_Aaron]

to Alicia Keys' 'Fallin'

He-ee is chris smalling
And he’s out
For blood
Off of you

Ha-ave you ever
Seen someone
Of that size
He'll crush you

 

[Red_Aaron]

UB40s 'cant help fallin in love'

Wise man said
Only Wes dives in
but that’s ok cuz’ Smalling will cover you

 

[Plechazunga]

I already did that one, and it's Elvis not UB40 you cnut

Actually it's Bing Crosby, I just looked

 

[Red_Aaron]

you're living in the past man, stop living in the past

 

[Plechazunga]

To the tune of Early This Morning, by Jay-Z

Everytime I think about you (We’ve got Chris Smalling)
I feel so excited (yeah, yeah)
Wish we could hold onto you forever (We probably can, look at Mike Phelan)
I woke up early, Chris Smalling, you're our new centre-half (Chris Smalling, Manchester... ghetto U-T-D)

Oh...uh-uh, uh...

Never read the papers for rumours of transfers (Uh)
Rather be diagnosed with tumours and cancers (Come on)
But I woke up early, Chris Smalling, you’re our new centre-half
Chris Smalling... yeah...

It was the best of times and the worst of times
Hargreaves out for three weeks, then I heard you signed
Yeah
Last night, put my head down, had nightmares of Wes Brown
Ain't that he’s a let-down, like Smile after Pet Sounds
But I do sometimes get down, when I think Pique left town,
So I put on my dressing-gown, I’m counting my blessings now
That's right
I woke up early, Chris Smalling.

Before and after signing for United