The Redcafe Video Game Review Thread

Olly Gunnar Solskjær

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Magical Taruruuto-kun: Magic Adventure
(まじかる☆タルるートくん Magic Adventure)



Premise: You must guide the main character, Taru, through various levels across five worlds to defeat Raivar and save Honmaru's girlfriend. Who are these people? I have no idea, but it's based on a Japanese Anime/Manga, so they're probably from that.

Opinion: Mainly a regular kind of platformer with a few small differences/additions. Your guy doesn't have any weapons, and he can't jump on the enemies, instead he uses his long tongue to attack everyone. He also uses his tongue to eat the takoyaki that are lying around each level. You don't want to eat them all the time though as they can be used as ledges and walls to help you reach various places. At the end of a level you can use the takoyaki as a currency to buy power ups from a shop. Here you can buy things like extra lives etc.

You move around the game on a world map, similar to the kind seen in Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario World etc. As well as the levels being on the map, you will also come across various people on the paths with minigames for you to complete before you can move on. These are all in Japanese so I'm not sure what they all are, but they can usually be figured out or just guessed. I do know one though, which is a high-low card game, so that's easy enough to play along.

The levels are quite varied, from greens to woods, castles to sunken ships, seas to fiery caves and more. As you can see from the screenshots, it's nice to look at, and shows off the different levels well. The music is good too. Nice and cheery to fit the colourful levels.

The game starts off quite easy and simple, and stays quite simple throughout the game, but some parts to get a bit trickier later on. Nothing amazingly hard, but enough that it doesn't get boring and to make you want to keep playing for a bit longer.

Overall a solid, pretty simple but fun game for you to try out if you like platformers, or just want to try out some unknown Japan-only games.

(This review is of the Super Famicom game. There's one based on the same anime for the Mega Drive, but that seems to be a completely different game.)
 

KingEric7

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One for anyone hoping to play the Kingdom Hearts series. Now that I'm going through the second one, I feel in a position to give a review on:

Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories



Before starting, I'll just say that I write the following so as not to spoil the first or second Kingdom Hearts games, and instead do so to give an idea of what to expect in terms of the gameplay, combat and storyline of this title. One of these factors is amazing and innovative, whilst another is infuriating in many ways. Also, as a warning, this is going to be extremely long, but I'm very bored and don't really mind if anyone reads it. This thread should also be a sticky and it needs more reviews. Right...

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If ever there was a game to sum up what an absolute bunch of wankers Square-Enix are, then this is it.

Following on from the success of the first Kingdom Hearts game on the PS2, the newly formed Square-Enix released an immediate sequel to Squaresoft's now famous title - an instalment that, whilst different, was to directly continue the story of Sora and Riku from the first game. 'Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories' is set during the scenes following directly on from the ending of its predecessor and, as such, the game is a direct sequel - a prospect that, to most fans, would surely have garnered excitement and anticipation. After all, the first game was challenging, absorbing and beautiful - without a doubt one of the best Action RPGs ever created - and came with the novelty of having a whole array of Disney and Final Fantasy characters as members of the cast. The game's ending also left you with uncertainty regarding the fate of a couple of characters, and a sequel would've gone some way to tying up these loose ends. In theory then, this is something that would be quite difficult to get wrong.

Unfortunately, the problem with Chain of Memories is this: it isn't really a proper sequel. It wasn't even released on the PS2 originally, and was instead released on an entirely different platform - the Game Boy Advance. The proper sequel is the fantastic Kingdom Hearts 2 released 4 years later on the same platform as the first one, which showed all the developments you'd expect to see in a sequel. In Kingom Hearts 2, the combat is naturally built upon and improved in many respects, the character graphics are much improved and new worlds are added to existing ones. There are some slight niggles, but it is the brilliant sequel you'd expect to result from the brilliant original. Chain of Memories on the other hand is not like this; it is instead a card-based strategic RPG that takes place in randomly generated, much smaller worlds taken predominantly from the Kingdom Hearts. Additionally, the combat is extremely different, and the worlds are created depending on the cards you use to explore them. They are nothing like as open or as interesting as those of the other two instalments, and are really more like levels than worlds - levels that you play through not only as Sora, but also as Riku after you have completed the game.

Does this then reduce Chain of Memories to being a mere spin off? Not in my opinion, no. Now that I've gone through a good chunk of Kingdom Hearts 2, I am firmly of the belief that it is pretty much integral that the Chain of Memories storyline is experienced, and that the plot is too important for this game to be classed as that. Seriously, the second game must surely be a complete cluster-feck at the start without having played it, leaving you mindlessly filling in blanks until it all comes together and starts to make some sense. One reason for this is because Square-Enix introduce 5 or so main characters to the storyline in Kingdom Hearts 2 without really giving any initial background - characters, just to add, that the whole of Chain of Memories is based almost entirely around. Further, if you do not go through the Chain of Memories story, you are left with no idea as to why the start of the second game is how it is until much later on, meaning that the plot becomes predicated initially on one giant "WTF?". You're left in a sort of limbo assuming that some significant events must've occurred, whilst at the same time having no idea what and why. This isn't to say that it's impossible to play Kingdom Hearts 2 whilst missing out Chain of Memories altogether - hundreds of thousands of people probably did - but doing so will leave you guessing at the context and the events prior to the game, whilst playing it and trying to shut out the fact that you don't fully understand the scope of what's happening. No RPG gamer should aim for that.

Now...'Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories'.

'Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories' is the remastered version that was released for the PS2 AFTER Kingdom Hearts 2 (retards/wankers), and is the game that should be played instead of Chain of Memories. The graphics have been given a complete revamp from the Gameboy Advance version, the control scheme and gameplay have been made more similar to the original Kingdom Hearts, and voice acting has been made to cater for new and returning characters. This, in theory (...), is a good thing, as it makes the game relate a lot more to the first one, resultantly making it something more than an annoying, integral spin off on another platform. It also gives more life to the combat, which is now absolutely amazing and some of the most challenging and inventive combat I've seen in any RPG. It is honestly far too good for a game like this, and should've been done for an RPG that was spectacular in its own right. This is something I well get to later on (if anyone reads that far), as there is some moaning to do primarily regarding every other facet of the game; most significantly, the voice acting.
 

KingEric7

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The voice acting of Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories is honestly by far the worst I have seen in any game, and is probably worse than that of any game that will ever exist. Every single scene is like some sort of horrid conglomeration of every foul utterance spoken by Hope and Vanille from FF13, and at all times it is too cringe-worthy to deal with. There were times whereby I was actually whispering things in disgust, shaking my head and considering walking out whilst letting the scene play out so I wouldn't have to put up with it, only to then remember that the only reason I started the game was because of those scenes. I won't go into any more detail than that, but this seriously ruins the integral plot that I refer to up there, which is only integral because it exists in the first place and impacts the second game. The plot itself really is not that good, and the two stories can be summarised easily (spoiler free) as follows:

Sora's story:

Memories Memories Memories Memories Heart Heart Heart Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Light Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Memories Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Donald Goofy feck Off Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Namine Memories

Riku's story:

Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Ansem Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Diz Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness Darkness King Mickey

And that's about it... it consists of constant, utterly awful shit chatting about Namine and Darkness (Riku...he's like...seriously fecking dark) and basically nothing else, yet somehow they've made it so that it's important to play this game. Square Enix have made what is, in many respects, a shit game that you basically have to play if you want to fully appreciate the Kingdom Hearts series. What's more, they've not even worked in a cracking, original soundtrack to go with it - they've just ripped most of it from first title, with one other from the second and a few originals to fill it out (some of which are good, to be fair). The soundtrack has typically and comically been released as a separate album, which I have of course bought and not downloaded to spite these wankers.

What almost saves this game admittedly, as stated, is something that makes the game worth experiencing as opposed to just watching the cut scenes on Youtube. A card based combat system in an action RPG does not sound exciting on the face of things, but it is quite easily one of the best systems I have ever encountered. By collecting and buying cards, you build a deck that is to be used in battle, with each boss battle demanding different sleights (combo moves), summons and support abilities from that deck. It is absurdly strategic, and made even more so by the fact that cards are numbered and can be broken by enemy cards of a higher number (or 0). This means that you have to time your moves so that they do not clash with opposing cards, move around and dodge enemy attacks, and also consider what cards the enemies are going to feck you or your cards up with so that you can break theirs.

Needless to say, this is the hardest game I have ever played in my life. I started it on Proud (hard) mode, quit within an hour and turned it down to medium. That was still too hard, but I got through it eventually. It was about twice as hard as Kingdom Hearts on Proud, which was unreasonably difficult at times.

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To conclude, I'd like to go back to the original comment at the start of all this rambling:

"If ever there was a game to sum up what an absolute bunch of wankers Square-Enix are, then this is it..."

The reason this comment stands is because Square-Enix have made a crucial 'spin-off' with a shit story that you have to buy. This game was originally released on an entirely different console that you had to buy. They then released the proper version that people would've wanted to buy, after the original time-frame that people had to buy. Said version, whilst better, has voice acting so bad that it has most likely sent up a warning to other civilisations - civilisations that will now want to exterminate us before we spread our shiteness to other worlds (worlds that do exist, instead of the mere levels on Re: Chain of Memories).

To top this all off, just to finish, is the absolutely flat out wankerish difficulty of this game. This is a game I wanted to get out the way, but the difficulty of the combat makes it take about three times longer than it should do. In any other game this combat would've been an absolute joy and a redeeming feature, but the voice acting and character interaction alone was too bad for that. In general, the game has you screaming with discomfort throughout boss battles and dialogue, whilst leaving you insufferably bored during the levels that bridge the two. It all becomes a mad rush to get to something less frustrating or intolerable, which is something you quickly realise will only happen when you reach Kingdom Hearts 2.

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Congratulations to Square-Enix for pulling off this frankly weird and shite experience. You are the only company that could've made this game and forced people into buying it, detesting it and appreciating it all at once.


5/10

(and that 5 is due to the 20/10 score for combat, with -15 for voice acting and an almighty 'meh' for everything else).
 

Revan

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Final Fantasy VIII



The successor of the legendary Final Fantasy VII. A lot of people hate this game. Some think that this is the best. The true is somewhere in the middle.

The story -

It is a classic Final Fantasy game. What does this mean? That the story is good, sorry it's great. Like in all Final Fantasy games, you start as a teenager (young person) who is very skilled. After it slowly you create your team, become stronger and ultimately you go into a quest to save the world. Of course you shall succeed if you do the things right. If not, then go play Packman.

Without spoiling it, you start as a student on a mercenary military force, you find a lot of companions (actually not a lot for an RPG only five) and then you go into a mission to assassinate the leader of one of the most powerful nations in the world, a powerful sorceress. Things then go weird, and after that you're essentially on your own. There is also a small twist on that.

The love story on the game is one of the best ever, and certainly the best in Final Fantasy games I have played.

The characters -

The main character, Squall Lionheart is an annoying son of a bitch. A very closed person, selfish and almost unemotional, His trademark is using 'whatever' word every few seconds. But wait. With the progression of the story you'll realize why this is so and you'll understand that Squall is in fact a different person. While not with as good heart as Cecil from Final Fantasy IV, Terra from Final Fantasy VI or Cloud from Final Fantasy VII, he' still a very good person. Anyway I felt a bit that his character was very much inspired from Cloud. Though not as cool.

The other characters. Good but not great. Quistis is his instructor and is a good character on her own. Rinoa is a great character, don't understand the hate. Zell very one dimensional. I liked Irvine, thought that he was cool. Selphie, expect the first scene, she is boring after.

But wait, one of the best part of the game is that there is another party on the game, and the stories of the both parties are related to each other. How? Play the game.

The villain -

Copy Kefka from Final Fantasy VI. Change the sex. Don't develop the story that much. Take out the annoying awesome laugh. Don't fully explain the motives. Paste

The leveling up -

But why I am leveling up, but I can't beat enemies? Then I level up even more and they beat me more easily. Because, in this game you don't need that much to level up. When you level up, so do the enemies. Which means that they become stronger. Which mean that you have to restart the last save points. So? There is an easy solution. The junctioning. The junctioning is getting Guardian Forces, junction them and then junction magic to your abilities (HP, Strength, Vitality, Magic, Spirit, Speed, Luck, Evasion and Hit). If you do the things right, the game will become easy. I died only two times during the game, one time in the beginning when I was fighting unprepared a T-Rex, and one other time when the enemy spelled Death and I hadn't Death junctioned. Do things right, get the right magic junctioned and the game will become one of the easiest games ever. Talking about magic, here it comes

The magic -

The. Worst. Part. Ever. You have to draw magic from enemies. Which means that you have to spend countless of hours fighting enemies just to draw magic from them. Shieeet. But for some other magic (usually better magic) and for some nice items you have to play card games. Also, the magic is very useless in the fights, especially in the later stages, but essential for junctioning.

Card game -

Fun on it's own. But not if you have to play 10-15 hours. That is boring. And you have to play if you want nice items and some great magic before you can draw it. The game is easy as long as you only have the 'Open' rule. But if you have to play with other rules, things are not great. And if you have to play with Random you are fecked. And if you have to play with all rules, you will swear on the game like a little uneducated child.

The fighting -

Junction well and use physical attacks and limit breaks only. That means that the fight will finish soon. Or use magic and summon GM (whose animation takes about a week to end) and the fight will last longer. The enemies are not that strong if you did the homeworks right. But there is an optional superboss, that is very powerful and in the category of Ruby/Emerald from Final Fantasy VII. The Omega Weapon. You need to have 9999 HP with all three members of the party, good junctioned magic, understand his attacking pattern and pray that he doesn't kill you (or like in my case Phoenix to come with an 1/12 chance to revive your party if they all end dead). Beating him gives you a feeling of extra satisfaction. After that, you only have to go to fight a series of battles with the final boss, which are childish battles compared with Omega.

The music -

Nobuo Uematsu, need I say more?! Great music, though there wasn't any theme as good as Terra's, Celes's, Cloud's or Aerith's themes from Final Fantasy VI and Final Fantasy VII. But again, there are a few themes that could be claimed to be as good as them.

Extra note -

Ragnarok, the airship is brilliant. Absolutely loved it. They should have let you spend more time with it.

Chocobo World, a minigame in the game. Didn't played it, but from what I read is boring.

Verdict - This game is not as good as Final Fantasy VI and Final Fantasy VII, but only a few games are on that level. Personally I liked even Final Fantasy IV more than this. It was tedious at crap at times, playing countless of hours a card game became boring and drawing magic was boring from the beginning. The junctioning was awesome though, as was the fighting. The story and characters were relatively good. The villain was interesting but not that original, so not that good.

In overall a good game, possibly a very good one. Recommended to everyone who like JRPG. 8/10
 

Dirty Schwein

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Name: League Of Evil 3
Platform: iOS
Thoughts: Brilliant game. Touch controls are the one of the best, if not the best on any iOS game. The same applied for the two prequels. Has decent graphics, plenty of stages and is very difficult. The gameplay is awesome and the game is super addictive.
Score: 9/10