Ratings vs portuguese Arsenal(Braga)

marjen

Desperately wants to be like Noodle
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
8,643
Location
At the back post
De Gea - Surprise, surprise, a run of games and voila - he's looking confident as hell. Up next: The bench vs Villa.

Valencia - Decent as RB/Beast as RW. Up next: RB vs Villa.
Smalling - Looked as he's been injured for 10 weeks and this was his comeback. Up next: Injured for 10 weeks.
Evans - A word of advice: If someone's kicking the ball past you, and the only way something other than them losing the ball will happen is by freezing into a Michael Carrick Zombie Deluxe Version, don't freeze into a Michael Carrick Zombie Deluxe Version. Up next: The hairdryer.
Evra - Jesus is not back, apparently. Up next: Walking on solid ground.

Nani - I think he's practicing his "I'm leaving, boss" speech in his head all the time. Up next: Zenit.
Anderson - Look, he's simply unfit. Poorer than his last outings. Up next: A burger.
Giggs - Asking a man who's turning 39 this month and also a winger/attacking midfielder to anchoring a midfield consisting of a striker and a hungry, chubby guy is not going to earn you any science awards, Fergie. Up next: Probably CB vs Villa.
Rooney - Best player on pitch. Godawful hair. Dive. Took penalty despite me explicitly stating that this cannot happen. Nice flick. Up next: Hopefully in behind RVP vs Villa.
Welbeck - Not a winger. Not Will Smith in Fresh Prince in Bel Air either, but neither he nor Fergie seem to mind either of those. Up next: A haircut, for the love of God.

Hernandez - Apparently refusing to score while standing basically inside the goal with the ball somehow glued to your feet, purposely trying as hard as you can not to score a goal, will somehow result in you scoring a goal. I'm confused. Up next: Just shoot.

van Persie - Would score even in a temple full of nuns. Up next: A blowjob. From me.
Rafael - Brilliant, except for the part when he fell on his arse while trying to lift his foot, as some kind of response to refusing to do anything with the ball resulting in Braga almost scoring. Up next: Rampage.

The janitor - Look, it's not rocket science. Just don't do anything that results in the light not working for the two hours a week there's something actually happening at the stadium. You twat. Up next: The supermarket to buy reserve bulbs.

Fergie - Brilliant idea to bribe the janitor. Up next: Back four vs Villa consisting of Valencia, Carrick, Wootton and Büttner.
 

Fergus' son

Gets very easily confused
Joined
Oct 13, 2011
Messages
11,161
DDG - 7
Valencia - 7
Smalling - 5
Evans - 5
Evra - 6
Welbeck - 4
Anderson - 4
Giggs - 5
Nani - 5
Rooney - 7
Hernandez - 5

Rafael - 7
RVP - 7
Rio - 7
 

I'm always right

New Member
Newbie
Joined
Dec 4, 2009
Messages
15,912
Location
Mêlée Island
DDG - 7
Valencia - 7
Smalling - 6
Evans - 5
Evra - 6
Welbeck - 5
Anderson - 6
Giggs - 6
Nani - 6
Rooney - 7
Hernandez - 6

Rafael - 7
RVP - 7
Rio - 7
 

Annihilate Now!

...or later, I'm not fussy
Scout
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
50,084
Location
W.Yorks
marjen said:
Evans - A word of advice: If someone's kicking the ball past you, and the only thing something other than them losing the ball will happen is by freezing into a Michael Carrick Zombie Deluxe Version, don't freeze into a Michael Carrick Zombie Deluxe Version. Up next: The hairdryer.
Click to expand...
What does this even mean?
 

Lynk

Obsessed with discrediting Danny Welbeck
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
Messages
14,976
BIG feckING DAVE - 8 - That trick alone deserves a high rating
Valencia - 7 - Switches to right wing and changes the game
Smalling - 5 - Expected
Evans - 5 - Jonny, Jonny....
Evra - 6 - Solid

Nani - 5 - Bad Nani
Anderson -5 - Eh
Giggs - 6 - Prior to the comeback he was gash...
Welbeck - 3

Rooney - 7 - Won us a penalty, scored it. Set up Chicho's goal too
Hernandez - 6




RVP - 9 - God
Rafael - 6
Rio - 6
 

Annihilate Now!

...or later, I'm not fussy
Scout
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
50,084
Location
W.Yorks
... but it shouldn't have been a penalty?! The Braga player just ran (in fact, he pretty much jumped) straight into Evans. There was nothing Evans could do... and it wasn't a penalty.
 

marjen

Desperately wants to be like Noodle
Joined
Jul 11, 2009
Messages
8,643
Location
At the back post
Annihilate Now! said:
... but it shouldn't have been a penalty?! The Braga player just ran (in fact, he pretty much jumped) straight into Evans. There was nothing Evans could do... and it wasn't a penalty.
Click to expand...
He could try not to stick his leg out and freeze into a deluxe version of the patented Michael Carrick Zombie, and just leave the ball for Rooney to take care of. Flat-footed defending.
 

Cina

full member
Joined
Aug 10, 2007
Messages
50,912
DDG - 7

Evra - 7
Evans - 6.5
Smalling - 7
Valencia - 8 MotM

Anderson - 6
Giggs - 5
Rooney - 7

Nani - 6.5
Hernandez - 7
Welbeck - 6

RVP - 7
 

Orton

Ati-virus, keeps missing the n button
Joined
Feb 24, 2006
Messages
18,981
Location
bonnie wee Scotland
DDG - 7
Valencia - 6
Evans - 6
Smalling - 5
Evra - 6
Nani - 6
Giggs - 5
Anderson - 4
Welbeck - 3
Rooney - 6
Hernandez - 5

RVP - 7
 

charlenefan

Far less insightful than the other Charley
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
33,052
De Gea - 6 - Nothing much to do in the game tbh

Valencia - 6 - Good going forward, positionally suspect in defence though (understandable)
Smalling - 7 - Very good I thought
Evans - 5 - Harsh pen but got caught in the first half as well marks him down
Evra - 7 - Another good game from Evra

Nani - 5 - Completely useless at the moment
Anderson - 4 - Was like playing with 10 men with Anderson on the pitch tonight
Giggs - 6 - So so game
Welbeck - 4 - Rubbish

Rooney - 5 - Poor game I thought
Hernandez - 6 - Isolated, looked bright on the ball when he got it though

Ferdinand - 7 - Steadied the defence
RVP - 7 - Game changer
Rafael - N/A - Cant really remember him doing anything of note
 

iczster

Lord Sugartits (and worst transfer muppet ever)
Joined
Nov 25, 2010
Messages
11,748
Location
North Manchester
Annihilate Now! said:
... but it shouldn't have been a penalty?! The Braga player just ran (in fact, he pretty much jumped) straight into Evans. There was nothing Evans could do... and it wasn't a penalty.
Click to expand...
concur AN, Johnny could of done what number 30 does here though

 

Ronnie O'Sullivan

Full Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2003
Messages
3,449
Location
Bouvetøya
DDG - 7
Valencia - 6
Smalling - 6
Evans - 5
Evra - 6
Welbeck - 4
Anderson - 5
Giggs - 5
Nani - 5
Rooney - 7
Hernandez - 6

Rafael - 6
RVP - 7
Rio - 7
 

Raven Blade

Dull
Joined
Jun 24, 2004
Messages
33,953
Location
Red man down in London town
Starting 11

De Gea (6) Secure. Didn't see much action but saved shots and handled very well.

Valencia (7) Valuable :devil: Solid defending in the 1st half. Found space to drive forward and threaten later on.
Smalling (6) Eager. Willing to get involved in the action. Slowly regained his sharpness, some careless passing aside.
Evans (5) Committed. Held defensive line and was comfortable passing from the back. Conceded pen.
Evra (6) Dependable. Positioning slightly off at times but was responsible enough when we required him to defemd.

Anderson (5) Untidy. Competed physically against their attackers. Always available across midfield but didn't use possession effectively enough.
Rooney (7) Commanding :devil: MOTM Dictated our play for large periods, but was only effective after the blackout. Then scored pen and assisted Hernandez.
Giggs (6) Smart. Composed in possession but struggled to influence the game. Did assist Van Persie though.

Nani (5) Nullified. Tracked back, was speedy on the counter but lost possession. Had some crosses and a blocked shot though.
Hernandez (6) Determined. Constant movement across the pitch. Kept looking for chances and eventually scored late goal, somehow.
Welbeck (4) Ineffective. Provided width and some decent link play. Had minimal goal threat though and wasted one chance.

Subs

Ferdinand (6) Experienced. Positioned himself well and ensured our defence stayed solid.
Van Persie (6) Spark :devil: Held ball well and looked to influence up front. Scored crucial equaliser.
Rafael (5) Outlet. Gave us more attacking impetus on the right wing.

Overall (6) Wet and weird. Very lacklustre for the most part as we struggled to play any worthwhile football. After conceding a pen then experiencing a power cut, we got our lucky break. Still unsure how we managed to finish with that scoreline though. It defies belief.
 

Name Changed

weso26
Joined
Jan 10, 2008
Messages
27,395
Location
Dublin
De Gea - 7

Valencia - 8
Smalling - 7
Evans - 6
Evra - 6

Nani - 6
Anderson - 5
Giggs - 6
Rooney - 7
Welbeck - 5

Hernandez - 6

Subs:
Ferdinand - 6
Van Persie - 7
Rafael - 6
 

Oldham

Full Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
2,896
Location
Xmurfs
DDG - 7
Valencia - 8
Smalling - 7
Evans - 5
Evra - 5
Welbeck - 5
Anderson - 7
Giggs - 6
Nani - 5
Rooney - 6
Hernandez - 6

Rafael - 7
RVP - 7
Rio - 8 we would not have won without him coming on
 

kelvinkato77

Full Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
356
Location
The Beach
Randall Flagg said:
The OP reminded me of a retarded Noodle.

Shockingly unfunny.
Click to expand...
I disagree, respectfully. Though the OP might have been influenced by humour on this board over the years (there is absolutely nothing wrong with that) - at least he's tried to bring back the ratings threads which have been shockingly lacking over the last season and a half. They are much more entertaining and informative than say.. "Post match vs who the feck ever.."

Also, it is funny.
 

Trigg

aka Trippin_Stoned
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
5,951
Location
Sowerby Bridge
DDG - 7 - Did what was needed. Hope he gets a proper run of games now!
Valencia - 7 - Decent at right back much better at right wing. Looked to take his man on the outside too which was good to see.
Smalling - 7 - For a first game back thought he did really well.
Evans - 5 - Looked a bit off last night. Didn't think it was a pen either. Injured?
Evra - 6 - Lacked a cutting edge going forward other wise alright.
Welbeck - 5 - Not really involved, carried the ball well at time but passing was erratic.
Anderson - 6 - Last 90 minutes which should please some but wasn't has sharp as his previous outing.
Giggs - 6 - I worry about Giggs whenever he's in the team now. Not sure pairing he and Anderson together was the best decision.
Nani - 5 - Wasteful and looking increasingly like hes on his way out :(
Rooney - 7 - Won a pen and scored a pen was too deep trying to over compensante for out midfield pairing I feel.
Hernandez - 6 - Isolated. Funny goal.

Rafael - 7 - Good, might be a defender but the right side looked a lore more balanced with him in it.
RVP - 7 - Took his goal well but with his quality it was almost a given that he'd score.
Rio - 7 - Good. We looked better defensively with him on the pitch.
 

Jonno

Full Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2010
Messages
8,375
Location
Preston, Lancashire
DDG - 7

Valencia - 7
Smalling - 5
Evans - 5
Evra - 6

Welbeck - 5
Anderson - 5
Giggs - 5
Nani - 5

Rooney - 7
Hernandez - 5

Rafael - 7
RVP - 7
Rio - 7
 

cacs

Full Member
Joined
Aug 8, 2008
Messages
1,245
Location
Omagh, Co.Tyrone /Sydney
DDG - 7
Valencia - 6.5
Smalling - 6
Evans - 6
Evra - 6
Welbeck - 4
Anderson - 7
Giggs - 5
Nani - 6
Rooney - 6
Hernandez - 6

Rafael - 7
RVP - 8
Rio - 8
 
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