Weird feelings of football

[Waltraute]

Liverpool is always relevant.

Mark Hughes as a manager isn't our old Sparky. He ceased being our old Sparky when he went to Barcelona.

Roy Keane is just a WUM.

Last season didn't happen.

 

[Truedevil]

Lazio and Napoli are the same club.

 

[Amethyst]

James Milner is subbed in at 60 minutes every game he plays.
Greece manage to somehow get out of the group stage at a major tournament when they look dead and buried.
Liverpool never get beaten by a massive scoreline.
Ramires has never once been booked for the first bookable tackle he commits. He finally gets carded in the 85th minute having been 'on thin ice' for over an hour.
A Turkish team qualifies for the Champions League or Europa League every season only to be removed because of match fixing.
Any striker from a West African country playing the Premier League is described as 'powerful'.
Playing 'goal music' in the Premier League is the beginning of the road the relegation.
Either Lazio or a team from Russia play one match a season behind closed doors as punishment for racist chanting.
Porto are somehow always in pot 1 of every Champions League draw after either coming 3rd in their group or being eliminated in the round of 16 almost every year.

 

[Amethyst]

Villareal doesn't have an away kit

 

[Skizzo]

Inzaghi will play the offside game all day, get called offside 17 times, but still break it and score in the 85th minute.

if he scores any earlier than that, he may not be heard from the rest of the game.

 

[Theafonis]

Barcelona always score 6+ goals against Levante, Rayo Vallecano, and Osasuna.

 

[pseudo_canadian]

Lazio and Napoli are the same club.

I've always had this in my head as well.

 

[pseudo_canadian]

- Pirlo never tackles anyone
- Arsenal never crawl their way back into games
- West Ham is the most consistently average football team in the world
- Every single lower league side in England has a pacey black winger/striker
- Portuguese teams seemingly always find their way to at least the semi-finals of the Europa League

 

[Ferguson]

Jonny Evans is left footed

 

[Skizzo]

When we sell a player, we wont get anywhere near asking price for him. Even though worse players have gone for twice as much in the same window.

 

[fontaine]

Höwedes didn't exist before the World Cup, and ceased to exist after it

 

[Haddock]

Every spurs home game no matter how bad is watchable because of the really cool camera angle from above.

 

[zing]

What are some feelings you have about football, that aren't necesarily 100% true, but seem that way

For instance :

Czech Republic national team ceased to exist

It never rains in Camp Nou

Pirlo has been 34 years old since 2008

Villareal doesn't have an away kit

Every Ligue 1 match on television involves PSG playing either Lorient or Evian

Borussia always beats Bayern in the begining of the season, but it ends up being a cake walk for Munich

No matter what is the situation, Dzeko will score in the last 5 minutes of the game

Lyon didn't participate in the 2013/14 season

All Portuguese strikers look the same and are average

Every player from Ecuador is fast

Werder Bremen and Wolfsburg are the same team

Ahh.. enough.. Keep going!

`

 

[Big Ben Foster]

Ivory Coast are considered "dark horses" ahead of every tournament.

 

[Penna]

We always make a signing on the last day of any transfer window. All our rivals sign at least 6 world-class players the day after the window opens.

 

[Nanook]

He's still 29?

Officially yes, he's 30 in October but it wouldn't surprise me if he had a 33 year old twin brother back in Nigeria.

 

[Theafonis]

Every spurs home game no matter how bad is watchable because of the really cool camera angle from above.

Agreed. I always enjoyed Redknapp's Spurs, watching Lennon and Bale fly down the wing--the camera angle made it more intense.

Whenever forgotten footballers are mentioned, Freddy Adu is always somewhere in there.

 

[PickledRed]

All Italian matches end 0-0

Arsenal never win big games

Michael Owen's been retired for 5 years

Players with ordinary names can only play in the lower leagues - Barry Jones / Kevin Potter / etc

Wales will lose to anyone away from home

My team plays worse if I watch them hungover

Teenage starlets from the Championship never amount to anything

 

[rcoobc]

Michael Owen spent 2.5 years at Madrid and returned to England with time having caught up to him.

Gerrard and Henry played together... Somewhere.

 

[marukomu]

My team plays worse if I watch them hungover

There's a bottle of sake on it's way to you.

 

[marukomu]

Gerrard and Henry played together... Somewhere.

 

[Phurry]

Every season at least one goalkeeper considered, at best, average will have the game of his life against us.

 

[Nanook]

Every league 1 striker over the age of 30 has played for at least 8 different clubs.

Every player in Portugal is part of some 3rd party ownership scheme.

Each Italian team has a squad of at least 90 players, of which around 50 are loaned to Watford.

The African Cup of Nations happens every year.

Other than Juventus the last time a Serie A team built a new stadium was some time in the 1950s.

Every team in Saudi Arabia begins with 'Al'.

No goalkeeper smaller than 6ft or taller than 6ft 7 can ever be good.

For a winger to be world class he must play on the side opposite to what his best foot is.

There is only 3 teams in the Greek league and they're Panathinaikos, Olympiacos and AEK Athens.

 

[okLaptop1]

Jonny Evans is left footed

Wait, he's not? Holy crap why did I assume that?

 

[PickledRed]

There's a bottle of sake on it's way to you.

Haha

 

[okLaptop1]

Manchester United never have any players from any current international footballing powers: for example we don't have any Germans now, we didn't have any Spaniards when they were rulers of the world, didn't have any Italians in 2006, or Brazilians in 2002, etc. Wait, is that just a feeling I have or is it true?

 

[rcoobc]

Jonny Evans is left footed

He deffo is. When he first burst on the scene at left back, he looked like a mini Ronaldo. For some reason the United coaches forced him to play with his right foot though and he became crap. (he was never crap)

 

[Slevs]

Officially yes, he's 30 in October but it wouldn't surprise me if he had a 33 year old twin brother back in Nigeria.

He was 29 when I was 18 years old, I'm 23 now!

 

[Cantona'sCollar]

Playing 'goal music' in the Premier League is the beginning of the road the relegation.

Ffs. So true, though.

 

[Lay]

Manchester United never have any players from any current international footballing powers: for example we don't have any Germans now, we didn't have any Spaniards when they were rulers of the world, didn't have any Italians in 2006, or Brazilians in 2002, etc. Wait, is that just a feeling I have or is it true?

We had Kleberson in 2003!

 

[Duffy]

Nigeria are brilliant to watch just for their bright green kits and memories of Taribo West's hair!

 

[.Phil1968]

Opposition goalies or defenders never make mistakes against us.
Loads of throw ins in the Premier League are foul throws but only Evra ever got pulled for it.Ashley Young has now taken his place.
When listening to matches on the radio the other team always sound like they're playing better than us.
In a penalty shoot out one player will always have a moment and send his pen well over the bar.

 

[Raul Madrid]

Another excellent thread by fontaine.

Whenever Ramos puts in a big performance or scores a goal, Madrid win.

 

[matherto]

England always have a small, pacey player that has a few good games and then is touted as a world beater.

Wright-Phillips
Lennon
Walcott
Oxlade-Chamberlain
Townsend

 

[Raul Madrid]

England always have a small, pacey player that has a few good games and then is touted as a world beater.

Wright-Phillips
Lennon
Walcott
Oxlade-Chamberlain
Townsend

I wouldn't put chamberlain in with the others you mentioned there. He is a good footballer and more than just an athlete.

 

[pseudo_canadian]

Every spurs home game no matter how bad is watchable because of the really cool camera angle from above.

I like this one, and agree.

 

[matherto]

West Ham, Newcastle and Liverpool fans are best in the league despite generally just being loud, obnoxious arseholes who take their shirts off.

 

[fontaine]

Klose and Hugo Almeida hibernate in between world cups

 

[fontaine]

Every EPL game has 5 minutes added in 2nd half extra time..

late minute goals are way more likely to occur in EPL than other leagues (feeling or truth?)

 

[WR]

Fernando Torres wasn't once a laughing stock and the core for poor football-related jokes

Kaka once held the world record transfer fee for a player