Reddit ITKs v2 | Home of the muppets

[El-Manos]

My physio here in Ireland is good friends with one of the United physios since both attended the same Uni in Manchester back in the day. Chanced my arm a few years ago, I asked him what the story was with our latest transfers.... He didn’t have a clue

 

[jamesjimmybyrondean]

That's the thing with our transfers and itks. We are always fixated on one target and anyone can claim to be a reliable ItK by following the news on the player we've fixated on and just claiming we will get that target 'soon' and adding some logic behind it.

"Personal terms with Sancho agreed Dortmund have also agreed a price set to be around 80m + addons. He's coming boys!!"

"United have agreed a deal with Grealish, if Villa goes down he will be a United player"

"VdB is an alternative just in case Villa stays up. Everything agreed with Ajax and the player. Now we wait to see if Villa relegates"

This is what they did with the Haaland transfer but he took a u turn and they all got it wrong

 

[Fingeredmouse]

My mate's brother is a courier for a well known online retailer and he was dropping a parcel of "Dax Wax" off to a barbers near Coventry yesterday and he saw Grealish getting "Sancho 7" shaved into his whimsical Peaky Blinder's undercut. Both done deals I reckon.

 

[croadyman]

I think we can all agree on Sancho being done. We need to find a new transfer to muppet on.

Grealish/VDB and then muppeting over which CB could come in when we have sold at least three.

 

[fck]

Werent these be proved to be horesh*t last year, or am I thinking of the transfer thread. Remember reading bollox last year

Of course this is all horsesh*t. The suckers who believe this are the same ones that fall for stuff like the "Nigerian Prince" scam.
But back to topic.. the aunt of my neighbor just said that the Sancho deal is done.

 

[tenpoless]

You know these stuffs are real when KFC is involved as a source. They are taking this seriously.

 

[red4ever 79]

Actually, surprisingly, they've lately got rid of a lot of the chaff and nonsense and are becoming more and more accurate.

They called (and stuck with) the James, Maguire, AWB and Bruno transfers before anyone else even when the deals looked dead if you went by anyone elses word - even Brendan Rogers himself.

I've been extremely impressed with the accuracy of their info ever since their 'return'. There don't seem to ever be any total nonsense links from their itks the way our "journalists" do in the UK (Messi, Ronaldo, Mbappe etc)

Ye but to be fair my missus could have got the AWB and Maguire transfers right. James came out of nowhere as he was on the verge of going to Leeds. At least an entertaining thread to sit in, for the summer.

 

[red4ever 79]

You know these stuffs are real when KFC is involved as a source. They are taking this seriously.

They do home delivery here now. Awesome having a bucket delivered to your door

 

[IrishMcD]

I teach a kid who's father is in the very high up in the oil business (he delivers home heating oil) and he said he was delivering kerosene to Sanchos mothers house last week and Jandon was out in the back garden wearing the 1992-94 green and yellow United kit doing keepie ups with a pair of rolled up United slippers. Make of this what you will.

 

[poleglass red]

Exactly. What the feck would a supposed sports lawyer know about potential bids and alternative targets of different European teams.

all sports lawyers in the world by law are on the same whatsapp group, where they share daily exploits of their huge deals on the understanding of the info staying within the confines of said group. It seems we have a mole. This info is legit......

 

[tenpoless]

They do home delivery here now. Awesome having a bucket delivered to your door

Nice one. Should have added a bonus for every delivery to attract more costumers. Buy one bucket, get Sancho transfer news for free.

 

[NinjaFletch]

The subreddit mods reckon that the three main ones posted here (ITK1, ITK4 and G5) were the three that came through that looking legit while the others were all bullshitters. Take that with a very big pinch of salt though. I personally doubt any of them are legit, but if they prove otherwise I'm open to it.

They're all bullshitters.

fecking spoofex led the imbeciles on a merry dance for months because he read a bit of news on Callum Gribbin which was in the public domain.

 

[krautrøck]

Sweet Jesus.

 

[Adam-Utd]

I feel very sorry for whoever believes these guys

Especially that ITK 4, nobody would have that sort of knowledge on so many clubs.

 

[golden_blunder]

Right guys, same source as last summer. She wasn’t right then ultimately but she’s still adamant that we lost out at last moment.

She’s saying that the whispers from the office are of phone calls with Juventus the last few weeks. DeLigt & 1 year loan with promise to buy has been mentioned. He’s not settled and would be open to working with Ole now. He’s not the name United were enquiring about it his name came up in conversation. Supposedly Juventus are keen on a couple of our kids as part of the deal including Garner.

Dunno what to think, probably bs

 

[Paxi]

I was walking through Dortmund and I heard a familiar tune behind me “Beans, Beans, Beans, Beans”

I turn around and it’s Michael Zorc dragging Jesse Lingard along the footpath by the leg. I was shocked to see Jesse so excited at the prospect of playing in a second rate league for a second rate club.

 

[The Man Himself]

Right guys, same source as last summer. She wasn’t right then ultimately but she’s still adamant that we lost out at last moment.

She’s saying that the whispers from the office are of phone calls with Juventus the last few weeks. DeLigt & 1 year loan with promise to buy has been mentioned. He’s not settled and would be open to working with Ole now. He’s not the name United were enquiring about it his name came up in conversation. Supposedly Juventus are keen on a couple of our kids as part of the deal including Garner.

Dunno what to think, probably bs

Couple of our kids? *mandatory Lingard mention*

 

[Paxi]

You know these stuffs are real when KFC is involved as a source. They are taking this seriously.

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

 

[krautrøck]

You know these stuffs are real when KFC is involved as a source. They are taking this seriously.

I don't like their sauces.

 

[Rauður Djöfull]

I'm not saying anyone of them is ITK or that they have solid info. I also very much understand any skepticism and I take it all my self with a big grain of salt.

But there is no way no one out there can't be ITK. Would they go to reddit and post it, I don't know. And if someone is out there it's more likely I think that they would know something about one specific club or one specific deal, not all kinds of things but than again depends on their job and sources I guess.

I'm just saying to everyone who is writing that no way anyone outside of top club officials would know anything that that is unlikely, definitely the case in some things but not in all and everywhere.

I my self work within an entertainment industry that has announcements, competition, rumors and stuff, of course no where near as big and interesting as football (in terms of interest for rumors, like not something the media take part in, mostly only for official confirmation/announcements) and since I & other people I know sometimes tell close friends or coworkers some stuff in private about upcoming announcements or deals being worked on and technically have no idea if they tell it forwards, than surely someone else in this world in a similar job does the same. Now I am not up in the big big leagues of my industry so less risk for me to blabber a bit but sometimes I even mention something to someone that looks nailed on and than twists and turns and it does not happen. So if they told it onward and it did not happen does that mean they are not ITK? Again not saying every person on the internet who writes stuff knows stuff and it's easy to make up and it should always be taken with a grain of salt. But sometimes people know stuff and really think it is nailed on and it can still change unexpectedly. I see it often in my work, often it's smooth sailing and often there are ups and downs, twists and turns that no one saw coming, a lot of things can factor in and even after contracts it can change, we've seen that in football as well. And sometimes because I am in the business and know people and so on I also sometimes know things about other companies and upcoming things that regular joes would never know.

Anyway sorry about my rant. I think it's fun to read those ITK but I am very much aware it is highly likely to be bullshit or even perhaps once in awhile ITK but that still don't make it bulletproof cause things can always change.

 

[El-Manos]

Right guys, same source as last summer. She wasn’t right then ultimately but she’s still adamant that we lost out at last moment.

She’s saying that the whispers from the office are of phone calls with Juventus the last few weeks. DeLigt & 1 year loan with promise to buy has been mentioned. He’s not settled and would be open to working with Ole now. He’s not the name United were enquiring about it his name came up in conversation. Supposedly Juventus are keen on a couple of our kids as part of the deal including Garner.

Dunno what to think, probably bs

Hasn’t he been starting every game since the restart? I can’t see it happening.

 

[Sparky Rhiwabon]

Love how confident and definite these sound - think that’s the secret to it.

 

[tenpoless]

Tweet

— Twitter API (@user) date

 

[AltiUn]

Mupdates

I almost wish some of that could be true though. I really would like to see a top class CB come in to partner Maguire. This team definitely has the potential to win us some trophies with one or two additions, and I would hate to see that being derailed by a defense we can't rely on to be consistent.

Hirst and Peach have said we’re after a CB.

 

[Adam-Utd]

I'm not saying anyone of them is ITK or that they have solid info. I also very much understand any skepticism and I take it all my self with a big grain of salt.

But there is no way no one out there can't be ITK. Would they go to reddit and post it, I don't know. And if someone is out there it's more likely I think that they would know something about one specific club or one specific deal, not all kinds of things but than again depends on their job and sources I guess.

I'm just saying to everyone who is writing that no way anyone outside of top club officials would know anything that that is unlikely, definitely the case in some things but not in all and everywhere.

I my self work within an entertainment industry that has announcements, competition, rumors and stuff, of course no where near as big and interesting as football (in terms of interest for rumors, like not something the media take part in, mostly only for official confirmation/announcements) and since I & other people I know sometimes tell close friends or coworkers some stuff in private about upcoming announcements or deals being worked on and technically have no idea if they tell it forwards, than surely someone else in this world in a similar job does the same. Now I am not up in the big big leagues of my industry so less risk for me to blabber a bit but sometimes I even mention something to someone that looks nailed on and than twists and turns and it does not happen. So if they told it onward and it did not happen does that mean they are not ITK? Again not saying every person on the internet who writes stuff knows stuff and it's easy to make up and it should always be taken with a grain of salt. But sometimes people know stuff and really think it is nailed on and it can still change unexpectedly. I see it often in my work, often it's smooth sailing and often there are ups and downs, twists and turns that no one saw coming, a lot of things can factor in and even after contracts it can change, we've seen that in football as well. And sometimes because I am in the business and know people and so on I also sometimes know things about other companies and upcoming things that regular joes would never know.

Anyway sorry about my rant. I think it's fun to read those ITK but I am very much aware it is highly likely to be bullshit or even perhaps once in awhile ITK but that still don't make it bulletproof cause things can always change.

If they stuck to their guns and said "100% Sancho is signing, deal is done and should be announced by next weekend" and it comes true then fair enough, but these guys are so wishy washy. They give different information every day with a slight change just to string people along and act like it's a live negotiation. They live in a fantasy world.

I've also never seen anything predicted that hasn't already been in the papers. If they were truly ITK then they would know about players before the press get a wiff.

Anybody with half a brain can keep this act going along, but people are so desperate to believe it they'll ignore the obvious signs.

 

[Paxi]

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[Rauður Djöfull]

If they stuck to their guns and said "100% Sancho is signing, deal is done and should be announced by next weekend" and it comes true then fair enough, but these guys are so wishy washy. They give different information every day with a slight change just to string people along and act like it's a live negotiation. They live in a fantasy world.

I've also never seen anything predicted that hasn't already been in the papers. If they were truly ITK then they would know about players before the press get a wiff.

Anybody with half a brain can keep this act going along, but people are so desperate to believe it they'll ignore the obvious signs.

I also very much doubt that they are and I wrote about skepticisme and so on

Some of them have said now that the deal is done and will be announced before 28th of july. Guess we will see but all I am saying is that even if someone had that rock solid info, it could still be wrong, cause even announcements can be pushed unexpectedly.
Again I doubt these people know anything really and like you say it is easy to make it up, and it is even easier because even if you get things wrong that sometimes legitimately is still not necessarily wrong because they were right at that time (if you were a real ITK)

 

[Drainy]

Love how confident and definite these sound - think that’s the secret to it.

Yeah that is part of the fun. People want to believe.

 

[Adisa]

You people like SDM.

 

[LawCharltonBest]

I want United to make a really dirty signing from a rival this Summer

Dirty like when city signed Sterling. I want it to get ugly and our new player to be hated by the club we sign him from.

Dirty like when Heinze wanted to go to Liverpool, or when Tevez went to city.

I want to piss people off and show that we're ruthless. And still a bigger attraction than Liverpool or City.

Make a bid for Trent Alexander Arnold and play him more advanced. Didn't his Dad, Stepdad or Uncle work for United as Club Secretary until recently?

 

[croadyman]

I want United to make a really dirty signing from a rival this Summer

Dirty like when city signed Sterling. I want it to get ugly and our new player to be hated by the club we sign him from.

Dirty like when Heinze wanted to go to Liverpool, or when Tevez went to city.

I want to piss people off and show that we're ruthless. And still a bigger attraction than Liverpool or City.

Make a bid for Trent Alexander Arnold and play him more advanced. Didn't his Dad or something work for United until recently?

Yeah think his dad was the club secretary or something like that. Someone who knows more will put me right I am sure

 

[El Zoido]

If the muppetiers subreddit is pure BS, why do they keep getting things right? I’ve been keeping my eye on it every so often and they’re either the luckiest guessers in the world, or at least one of two of them are actually legit. They’re getting way more right than most of the twitter journos everyone creams themselves over.

 

[limerickcitykid]

Yeah think his dad was the club secretary or something like that. Someone who knows more will put me right I am sure

It was his uncle that was club secretary.

 

[arnie_ni]

Feed me.

@Feed Me

 

[izec]

If the muppetiers subreddit is pure BS, why do they keep getting things right? I’ve been keeping my eye on it every so often and they’re either the luckiest guessers in the world, or at least one of two of them are actually legit. They’re getting way more right than most of the twitter journos everyone creams themselves over.

What is difficult about getting one or two of Sancho, VdB or Grealish right at this point? You make it sound like we live in isolated times, when everyone can read the papers and take info from real journos.

I can make up stories about transfer targets i read about from reliable journos, of course i will get things right as well. They aren't lucky guessers, nor do they have sources. They just read the papers and follow journos and fabricate ITK stories based on that info.

 

[Paranoid Android]

If the muppetiers subreddit is pure BS, why do they keep getting things right? I’ve been keeping my eye on it every so often and they’re either the luckiest guessers in the world, or at least one of two of them are actually legit. They’re getting way more right than most of the twitter journos everyone creams themselves over.

Please, tell me: what are these things that they're getting right that that no one else could possibly guess? That we're after Sancho? Come on, use your brain.

 

[SirAF]

Get ready to chug that Kermit juice!

 

[Adam-Utd]

If the muppetiers subreddit is pure BS, why do they keep getting things right? I’ve been keeping my eye on it every so often and they’re either the luckiest guessers in the world, or at least one of two of them are actually legit. They’re getting way more right than most of the twitter journos everyone creams themselves over.

Could you make a short post on what things they've got right?

 

[Catt]

From the very reliable sources from my whatsapp group, Sancho to Manutd is done.

Previously they got AWB to Manutd, James to ManUtd spot on, also Bruno to ManUtd.

I'm in the wrong whatsapp group.

 

[Silverman]

My physio here in Ireland is good friends with one of the United physios since both attended the same Uni in Manchester back in the day. Chanced my arm a few years ago, I asked him what the story was with our latest transfers.... He didn’t have a clue

Brilliant