Hi, Dave. Nice to see you on the Caf.
Reddit ITKs v2 | Home of the muppets
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Guess I’m more galled that the twitter transfer thread has been going for years and never had a disclaimer stating that they’re absolutely full of sh*t. Which they almost all are.
You are free to believe whatever you want and follow whoever you want really. But you wanted to know why people believe the reddit ITKs are bullshitters from the go. Of course most of the stuff on Twitter isn't better, but i never said the opposite.
As much as I enjoy these, Ive found a good indicator of legit ITKs are the following
So as an example a good ITK seems to be:
Tyrone Blubbershit has agreed terms with X Utd , who will pay initial £45m to Y Athletic that could rise to £60m on performance clauses
And the typical chancer being:
Done deal! Tyrone Blubbershit will join X Utd on 28th October pending any delays. Y Athletic will be paid £45m initially with £5m for winning the CL, £5m for winning Ballon d’Or and an additional £5m once he scored 50 league goals. Bonus structures were stumbling block over past week. As before with me saying Gavindinho would join, my contact works for a financial analyst company and told me this. I will address our links with Schittheid once I learn more, but it is looking promising! And feck those people on r/XUtd and Mupcafe who say I’m a chancer!
- Information is straight to the point and has just enough detail
- Information and developments are few and far between
- The person doing it doesn’t revel in the fact they know the information, cites previous ones they got right or addresses criticism
So as an example a good ITK seems to be:
Tyrone Blubbershit has agreed terms with X Utd , who will pay initial £45m to Y Athletic that could rise to £60m on performance clauses
And the typical chancer being:
Done deal! Tyrone Blubbershit will join X Utd on 28th October pending any delays. Y Athletic will be paid £45m initially with £5m for winning the CL, £5m for winning Ballon d’Or and an additional £5m once he scored 50 league goals. Bonus structures were stumbling block over past week. As before with me saying Gavindinho would join, my contact works for a financial analyst company and told me this. I will address our links with Schittheid once I learn more, but it is looking promising! And feck those people on r/XUtd and Mupcafe who say I’m a chancer!
Oye Emmanuel. Great work on lip reading btw
We have only had the ability to have thread reply banners for the past one month and eight days, and the opening post of that thread has always stated not to post anything from clear bullshit accounts, tabloids or aggregators including a list of blacklisted accounts. The credibility of the ITKs posted in this and last year's thread (ah, spoofex) is a lot closer on the scale to indykaila than David Ornstein.
At least they say in their heading nothing is 100% accurate and makes it clear is mainly for fun. Like many journos , its nigh-on impossible to be dead on correct because deals shifts very often. But it is fun 
That IndyKaila guy has been around since 2011 and with the same profile picture. Sometimes I would like to go full muppet with these ITKs but then I remember IndyKaila and tell myself you're not that stupid.
Fair enough, I wasn’t aware of that. Transfer rumours are just exhausting all around I think. I was jaded years ago.
Well that's it then, he's gone mental waiting for too long. Deal is off. Ed Woodward's fault I'm telling you. It takes him so long to prepare a bid that by the time he's finished we'd have COVID-19 vaccines ready in every part of the world.
Can Blubbershit pass a ball out from CB? Is Gavindinho a RW? If so, I'm all for these signings.
I, for one, welcome our Muppet overlords.
People always say this - can you explain what is fun about it? Not being facetious, genuine Q.At least they say in their heading nothing is 100% accurate and makes it clear is mainly for fun. Like many journos , its nigh-on impossible to be dead on correct because deals shifts very often. But it is fun
ITK 4 and G5 have decent record.
I have a close relative that works for a top premier league club. They are around the management, execs and players and have been there for 15+yrs. I have heard absolutely zero transfer news about anything, including when a player moved to us who my relative was very friendly with.
I just think that unless you are VERY close to a deal, there’s a very good chance that any ITK stuff is bull and if you ARE that close, your job is probably too important or you earn too much to risk blabbing on a muppet forum!
I just think that unless you are VERY close to a deal, there’s a very good chance that any ITK stuff is bull and if you ARE that close, your job is probably too important or you earn too much to risk blabbing on a muppet forum!
The fun is believing they actually have ITKs that knows more than most journo’s and follow them to see if it pans out.
Naive I guess, but its not much different than trying to figure out which of the 100+ clickbait articles that are true.
Agents are criminal for leaking info for a variety of reasons
Everyone keeps saying this but no one has yet shown anything they have posted that has been accurate in terms of actual transfer activity.
Tweet
— Twitter API (@user) date
Uh-huh. Funny he’s on beach somewhere according to Instagram. Bunch of silly cnuts.
Well, exactly... Neither of those sounds particularly fun or worth wasting time over. Different strokes though, I suppose.
Imagine if any if these muppet cnuts were ever introduced to a bouncy castle?
Or a woman.
Yeah, they are probably all just 13 years old and still live with their mum lolololol!!!
...
Imagine you're at a top position in a top club and you're sacked because you were found leaking transfer stories in a forum. Stories for which news outlets would have probably paid top dollar for.
It's a shame that we never had an account that claim to be ITK to be actually legit. It's all been frauds since social media began, scumbags.
Someone obviously cannot read the text in the bottom here.
To the flight tracker!
I don't believe the ITK's, but I still enjoy reading about what they put and letting myself get a little bit carried away at the prospect of what they're saying.
Surely that is what this thread is? Why people would come in and say "load of bollocks, they know nothing"... I'll never know
Surely that is what this thread is? Why people would come in and say "load of bollocks, they know nothing"... I'll never know
Do you also get read bed time stories every night before you sleep?
You never watch or read any fiction do you?
The people who take it too seriously as in getting angry that people get a laugh out of it are as bad if not worse than the people who believe it. It was one thing when other threads were getting infected with it, but coming in here and getting annoyed is stupid, its like hanging around Santas grotto in a shopping centre, mouthing off at kids saying its just a man in a suit, why are you even in this thread if you don't care about it?
Pretty big difference.
That's a fantasy world that you know isn't real. This situation? It's people trying to trick you into believing it's real.
Bored Schoolkids trying to make a reputation for themselves.
Not every night, no.
There is a lot, A LOT, of fiction that is based upon real events , or is trying to predict future events.
You know its not 100% reality , but it is still the resemblence or the possibility that makes it enjoyable.
And why do you even care about what other people enjoy?
If we're just having a laugh at it then great, but people are genuinely believing them and it's just a bit strange I find.
Just look at above, they are trying to pretend they know where Sancho is flying
"he's off to London"... oh no wait he's actually going on holiday with his mates.Youexpect us to believe you know boardroom level secrets? sure. Next thing you know they'll be making a private discord where people have to pay to get "extra inside info".
Anyway i'll leave this thread alone in the future.
If everything about that is a scam, is for sure one of the most ingenious ones i've seen in a long timeIf we're just having a laugh at it then great, but people are genuinely believing them and it's just a bit strange I find.
Just look at above, they are trying to pretend they know where Sancho is flying
and you expect us to believe you know boardroom level secrets? sure.
Point is, i'm enjoying it because it is enticing to believe that they know.
They pretty much already have that with their patreon.
Things I didn’t know before opening this thread:
• Sancho has a personal photographer
Er, and that’s it!
• Sancho has a personal photographer
Er, and that’s it!
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