Chants For Our New Signings

Annihilate Now!

...or later, I'm not fussy
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
51,886
Location
W.Yorks
As a break from all the "what does this mean!?" threads, lets get some suggestions for new songs for our new players (or any of our players if you want - have at it)

Alex Telles

Telles. Why?
Since Evra had to go away
Telles. Why?
We keep on making mistakes
Telles why?
I never want to hear you say
Let's play Luke Shaw today


Amad Diallo

Playing on the wing (Wing)
Putting crosses in (in)
Suddenly had the whole world looking at him
Ole said Yo
Next thing you know
Amad Diallo
Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo

He's gonna be World Class
And he is worth all that Brass
Signed him really late cos Woody is a Ass (Hole)
Ole said Yo, next thing you know
Amad Diallo
Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo


... I'm pretty sure ya'll can do better.
 
Cavani,
Woah!
Cavani,
Woah!
He comes from Uruguay,
He made the Redcafe cry
 
To the tune of Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea

Cavani, Cavani, Cavani
Cavani, Cavani, Cavani
Cavani, Cavani, Cavani
Cavani, Cavani, Cavani
Cavani, Cavani, Cavani
 
Diallo, Diallo, Diallo

He's slippery as Orange jello

He's quick to take flight, got mean defenders in fright

Such a dastardly little fellow!
 
Erik Prydz - Cavaniiiii

Besides, it gives us a chance to check out the music video again, after all these years :drool:
 
We'll give the ball to Aaamadiallo
You'll be hiding behind your pillow
Dreaming dreams of Aaamadiallo
And tricky feet that wait for thee
 
Summer window had me a blast
Summer window happened so fast
Alex Telles, Donny van de Beek
Goodbye Smalling, Cavani on free
Summer days drifting away to oh oh the summer nights

Telles me more, Telles me more
Did you get very far
Telles me more, Telles me more
Like does he have a car

tenor.gif
 
Diallo, Diallo, Diallo

He's slippery as Orange jello

He's quick to take flight, got mean defenders in fright

Such a dastardly little fellow!

Whats the tune?

Summer window had me a blast
Summer window happened so fast
Alex Telles, Donny van de Beek
Goodbye Smalling, Cavani on free
Summer days drifting away to oh oh the summer nights

Telles me more, Telles me more
Did you get very far
Telles me more, Telles me more
Like does he have a car

:lol:
 
You’re not sanch-oooo
Where’s our sanch-oooo
We want our sanch-oooo
We want our sanch-oooo
 
To the tune of "Barney the dinosaur"

Cavani is a dinosaur
From the Uruguayan nation
Ed Woodward called
He's what he calls a transfer window sensation!
 
:lol:

Do people actually chant while watching at home on Sky?
I did sing we’ll never die to my kid after losing 6-1 on weekend, he was visibly gutted with that score line, More so than me, Infact I always sing along With some chants with him. We sung the wazza one when we seen he’d scored a late winner for derby :lol: it’s a bit of fun. I don’t sit in the living room doing it alone though :lol:
 
Feel free to score from the left
Feel free to score from the riiiiiiiight
Because Harry Maguire
Is fecking shite
 
Ja-a-don Sancho
English wonderkid
Ja-a-don Sancho
Makes us forget COVID
Watch this space
We’re gonna place a bid
There’s been a breakthrough
Agent fees and terms agreed

I’m shit at rhyming :(
 
To the tune of Wyclef Jean- Diallo

Diallo, Diallo - similar to George Best
Diallo, Diallo - his shot is sharper than an arrow
Diallo, Diallo - Defenders will be judged
Diallo, Diallo - according to his skills...

Yeah I’ll grab my coat
 
Ca Va Ni Ni Ni
Said feck off to PSG
Ca Va Ni Ni Ni
Came to United on a Free
On his left
On his right
He'll be scoring goals all night
He is class, that's a fact.
And he thinks Neymar's a Twat
 
Last edited:
As a break from all the "what does this mean!?" threads, lets get some suggestions for new songs for our new players (or any of our players if you want - have at it)

Alex Telles

Telles. Why?
Since Evra had to go away
Telles. Why?
We keep on making mistakes
Telles why?
I never want to hear you say
Let's play Luke Shaw today


Amad Diallo

Playing on the wing (Wing)
Putting crosses in (in)
Suddenly had the whole world looking at him
Ole said Yo
Next thing you know
Amad Diallo
Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo

He's gonna be World Class
And he is worth all that Brass
Signed him really late cos Woody is a Ass (Hole)
Ole said Yo, next thing you know
Amad Diallo
Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo


... I'm pretty sure ya'll can do better.
Luke Shaw is severely under appreciated on this forum. Naming him in a proposed chant for another player is just over the top cringeworthy.
 
Luke Shaw is severely under appreciated on this forum. Naming him in a proposed chant for another player is just over the top cringeworthy.

Mate, it's a chant to a Backstreet Boys song.... it's not meant to be taken seriously.
 
To the tune of the Modern Major General's Song from the Pirates of Penzance


We are the very model of a modern major football team,
We've sponsors for our tyres, watches, pasta, rice and coffee beans,
We've many trinkets for the leagues and cups we won historically,
But since Sir Fergie left we have been struggling rather terribly!

We're very well acquainted with the wilderness of Liverpool,
But lately they've been dominant and we're the ones who look the fools,
But this year will be different - we came third and now we're on the up!
We'll reign in Europe, win the league and bag ourselves the FA cup!

The transfer window's open and we're told that Sancho's on his way,
So many players coming in they won't all get much time to play,
We'll rid ourselves of deadwood and their over-inflated salaries,
Make room for Dayot, Kalidou, Thiago, Bale and Messi please!

If Dortmund set a deadline, they're just teasing, they'll take what we give!
If Leipzig sign new contracts, it's a pretence, they'll accept our bid!
"They've lost their pulling power" that's what in-the-knows and journos say,
They're all liars, they're all jealous, just you wait till we sign Dembele!

We've lost to Crystal Palace, scraped past Brighton, next game's Tottenham,
We'll send Jose back to shoot more cringy try-hard scenes with Amazon,
Even though we've only bought one player and he's barely made it off the bench,
Come on Ed pull yer finger out - we lost 6-1, that's evidence!

Surely now he'll stump the money up and put young Jadon on a plane?
His wallet's fit to bursting - he can't wait to pull it out again!
He's on the phone - at last those agents have returned his calls!
(They could never outwit Woodward I'm surprised they even had the balls!)

Today I bought all three kits, I'm printing Koulibaly on the red,
The away kit is for Grealish and the third kit is for Jimenez,
You can feel the European giants shaking now in fear of us,
Ole's driving at the wheel so all aboard the transfer bus!

Sunday came and went without announcements on the instagram,
But we've all got faith in Woody, this is all part of his masterplan,
There's rumours of some unknown kids from Italy and Uruguay,
And a half-retired striker who's been out of contract since July...

The sun arises, Monday fifth, I wish you Happy Sancho Day!
I load the transfer threads that have been dominating RedCafe,
We've bought a backup left-back, and one kid won't come till January,
What is Woody up to, is he trying to play a trick on me?!

Memories of Obertan and Bebe flashing through my mind,
We needed world-class players - for the first team, not the second side!
Get Fergie on the line to convince Scholes out of retirement,
Fergie isn't picking up, he's hiding from embarrassment!

Another season down the pan for lack of any strategy,
Can't wait for Woody to announce a sponsor for our Christmas tree,
He couldn't organise a piss up in a busy Salford pub,
But we are the very model of a modern major football club!
 
Last edited:
To the tune of the Modern Major General's Song from the Pirates of Penzance


We are the very model of a modern major football team,
We've sponsors for our tyres, watches, pasta, rice and coffee beans,
We've many trinkets for the leagues and cups we won historically,
But since Sir Fergie left we have been struggling rather terribly!

We're very well acquainted with the wilderness of Liverpool,
But lately they've been dominant and we're the ones who look the fools,
But this year will be different - we came third and now we're on the up,
We'll reign in Europe, win the league and bag ourselves the FA cup!

The transfer window's open and we're told that Sancho's on his way,
So many players coming in they won't all get much time to play,
We'll rid ourselves of deadwood and their over-inflated salaries,
Make room for Dayot, Kalidou, Thiago, Bale and even Messi please!

If Dortmund set a deadline they're only teasing they'll take what we give,
If Leipzig give out contracts it's a pretence - they'll accept our bid,
"They've lost their pulling power" that's what in-the-knows and journos say,
They're all liars, they're all jealous, just you wait till we sign Dembele!

We've lost to Crystal Palace, scraped past Brighton, next game's Tottenham,
We'll send Jose back to shoot more cringy try-hard scenes with Amazon,
Even though we've only bought one player and he's barely made it off the bench,
Come on Ed pull yer finger out - we lost 6-1, that's evidence!

Surely now he'll stump the money up and put young Jadon on a plane?
His wallet's fit to bursting he can't wait to pull it out again,
He's on the phone - at last those agents have returned his calls!
(They could never outwit Woodward I'm surprised they even had the balls!)

Today I bought all three kits, I'm printing Koulibaly on the red,
The away kit is for Grealish and the third kit is for Jimenez,
You can feel the European giants shaking now in fear of us,
Ole's driving at the wheel so all aboard the transfer bus!

Sunday came and went without announcements on the instagram,
But we've all got faith in Woody, this is all part of his masterplan,
There's rumours of some unknown kids from Italy and Uruguay,
And a half-retired striker who's been out of contract since July...

The sun arises, Monday fifth, I wish you Happy Sancho Day!
I load the transfer threads that have been dominating RedCafe,
We've bought a backup left-back, and one kid won't come till January,
What is Woody up to, is he trying to play a trick on me?!

Memories of Obertan and Bebe flashing through my mind,
We needed world-class players, for the first team, not the second side!
Get Fergie on the line to convince Scholes out of retirement,
Fergie isn't picking up, he's hiding from embarrassment!

Another season down the pan for lack of any strategy,
Can't wait for Woody to announce a new sponsor for our Christmas tree,
He couldn't organise a piss up in a busy Salford pub,
But we are the very model of a modern major football club!

Will you be handing out the lyric sheets
 
To the tune of the Modern Major General's Song from the Pirates of Penzance


We are the very model of a modern major football team,
We've sponsors for our tyres, watches, pasta, rice and coffee beans,
We've many trinkets for the leagues and cups we won historically,
But since Sir Fergie left we have been struggling rather terribly!

We're very well acquainted with the wilderness of Liverpool,
But lately they've been dominant and we're the ones who look the fools,
But this year will be different - we came third and now we're on the up!
We'll reign in Europe, win the league and bag ourselves the FA cup!

The transfer window's open and we're told that Sancho's on his way,
So many players coming in they won't all get much time to play,
We'll rid ourselves of deadwood and their over-inflated salaries,
Make room for Dayot, Kalidou, Thiago, Bale and Messi please!

If Dortmund set a deadline, they're just teasing, they'll take what we give!
If Leipzig sign new contracts, it's a pretence, they'll accept our bid!
"They've lost their pulling power" that's what in-the-knows and journos say,
They're all liars, they're all jealous, just you wait till we sign Dembele!

We've lost to Crystal Palace, scraped past Brighton, next game's Tottenham,
We'll send Jose back to shoot more cringy try-hard scenes with Amazon,
Even though we've only bought one player and he's barely made it off the bench,
Come on Ed pull yer finger out - we lost 6-1, that's evidence!

Surely now he'll stump the money up and put young Jadon on a plane?
His wallet's fit to bursting - he can't wait to pull it out again!
He's on the phone - at last those agents have returned his calls!
(They could never outwit Woodward I'm surprised they even had the balls!)

Today I bought all three kits, I'm printing Koulibaly on the red,
The away kit is for Grealish and the third kit is for Jimenez,
You can feel the European giants shaking now in fear of us,
Ole's driving at the wheel so all aboard the transfer bus!

Sunday came and went without announcements on the instagram,
But we've all got faith in Woody, this is all part of his masterplan,
There's rumours of some unknown kids from Italy and Uruguay,
And a half-retired striker who's been out of contract since July...

The sun arises, Monday fifth, I wish you Happy Sancho Day!
I load the transfer threads that have been dominating RedCafe,
We've bought a backup left-back, and one kid won't come till January,
What is Woody up to, is he trying to play a trick on me?!

Memories of Obertan and Bebe flashing through my mind,
We needed world-class players - for the first team, not the second side!
Get Fergie on the line to convince Scholes out of retirement,
Fergie isn't picking up, he's hiding from embarrassment!

Another season down the pan for lack of any strategy,
Can't wait for Woody to announce a sponsor for our Christmas tree,
He couldn't organise a piss up in a busy Salford pub,
But we are the very model of a modern major football club!
You know what, I rarely post but hats off to that fantastic effort!
(Even if I did read it in Mordin Solus’ mass Effect 2 voice)
 
To the tune of the Modern Major General's Song from the Pirates of Penzance


We are the very model of a modern major football team,
...

Brilliant. Well done.

Any chance you could work on "When I was a Lad" the story of a bean counter without any football knowledge who ends up running the biggest football club in the country?
 
Mate, it's a chant to a Backstreet Boys song.... it's not meant to be taken seriously.
Serious question though, is Telles better than Luke Shaw? I don't know much about him.

However, I do think Luke Shaw had a good last season especially in the crunch period towards the end.
 
Serious question though, is Telles better than Luke Shaw? I don't know much about him.

However, I do think Luke Shaw had a good last season especially in the crunch period towards the end.

Not a clue, he certainly has a better attacking output but we'll have to see whether he can replicate it for us.

As an aside I'm a fan of Shaw, and long thought he is one of our more underrated player, and he's actually the last player in our starting back 4 that I'd replace... having said that, his injury record is poor and he's started the season awfully (as has everyone else) so couldn't really complain about being dropped for Telles.
 
"Ed woodward he told a lie"

"We got this fraud from Uruguay"

"We wanted sancho all this time"

"Cavani as 7 is a crime"


You aint sancho
You aint sancho
You aint sancho
You aint sancho



Thank me later.
 
hey look whos here loI
its our friend pelli pelli

come here man enter the circle
demonstrate your flair and quick football man
pellistri you are good at kicking loI

lets appreciate the physicallity of this monster
he will score and urinate on mane face hehe
facundo u play well man
 
Last edited:
Traore, woah, Traore, woah.
He wants you all to know
He's actually called Diallo.
 
As a break from all the "what does this mean!?" threads, lets get some suggestions for new songs for our new players (or any of our players if you want - have at it)

Alex Telles

Telles. Why?
Since Evra had to go away
Telles. Why?
We keep on making mistakes
Telles why?
I never want to hear you say
Let's play Luke Shaw today

:lol: :lol:
Slightly harsh on Luke.

Cavani:
From the PSG to Rosso Bianchi
Edinson Cavani, came to us for free
Score for United, so we can all sing
CAVANI CAVANI CAVANI CAVANI