Hey mate keep this to yourself and don't let
@Berbaclass see these PMs ok?
Anyway
@simonhch overheard Ronaldo talking to his agent when he had snuck into his cupboard to smell his pants, like he does with every United player at the weekends. Ronnie and his agent were just standing there in the living, barely moving, reciting greetings and goodbyes to one another. Then suddenly they started peeling their skin off to reveal the scales below, and they put their head masks on the table before opening a secret sacrificial counter to suck worms up with their straw like noses.
It was at this point that Simon discovered the document called "Operation Double Agent for Mister Pep". The scummy fecker is being paid by City this entire time!