Dante's Chelsea Striker Graveyard

[TheReligion]

Roll up, roll up and welcome to @Dante's Chelsea Striker Graveyard Extravaganza featuring the utterly fantastic...

Higuain, Morata, Pedro, Falcao, Remy, Salah, Eto'o, Ba, Lukaku, Torres, Sturridge, Di Santo, Shevchenko, Kezman, Crespo, Mutu, Pato, Pizzaro, Batshuayi

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why does Timo Werner look set to join the plot?

*removed Anelka having forgot to do so initially.

 

[padr81]

Roll up, roll up and welcome to @Dante's Chelsea Striker Graveyard Extravaganza featuring the utterly fantastic...

Higuain, Morata, Pedro, Falcao, Remy, Salah, Eto'o, Ba, Lukaku, Torres, Sturridge, Anelka, Di Santo, Shevchenko, Kezman, Crespo, Mutu, Pato, Pizzaro

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why does Timo Werner look set to join the plot?

Drogba, Anelka, Diego Costa were all great there.

 

[hasanejaz88]

Roll up, roll up and welcome to @Dante's Chelsea Striker Graveyard Extravaganza featuring the utterly fantastic...

Higuain, Morata, Pedro, Falcao, Remy, Salah, Eto'o, Ba, Lukaku, Torres, Sturridge, Anelka, Di Santo, Shevchenko, Kezman, Crespo, Mutu, Pato, Pizzaro

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why does Timo Werner look set to join the plot?

Why is Ba included there? He was always a backup striker and scored 14 goals in around 50 matches over 2 seasons, including THAT goal. Did his job while there.

Anelka won the golden boot one season, wasn't always playing as a striker as well. Other than those two the rest were not successful and therefore should be in the list

 

[Dante]

Drogba, Anelka, Diego Costa were all great there.

I don't disagree. Drogba, Anelka and Diego Costa (and Hasselbaink) were my exceptions to the rule.

https://www.redcafe.net/threads/timo-werner-chelsea-player.455154/post-26554790

 

[duffer]

We have been consistently winning throughout the time all of those players were at Chelsea so who cares.

Also, I don't know what's sillier, lumping Pedro in as a striker or lumping him in as a terrible signing.

 

[Dante]

Why is Ba included there? He was always a backup striker and scored 14 goals in around 50 matches over 2 seasons, including THAT goal.

Anelka won the golden boot one season, wasn't always playing as a striker as well. Other than those two the rest were not successful and therefore should be in the list

It's supposed to be a full list of strikers bought by the club, not just failures.

Average players being average is one thing. But hyped up players being average is something else. It's an observation that only 1 striker in 6 seems to be allowed to be better than 'okay'.

You can pick out and cetegorise yourself if you want. I'd personally only rank 3 of them as performing to a high level. The only reasonable conclusion is that there's a curse on Stamford Bridge that forces their strikers to be shit and their fans to be twats.

 

[Shane88]

Do Chelsea fans forget half those strikers the same way I forget Schweinsteiger and Victor Valdes played for us?

 

[padr81]

I don't disagree. Drogba, Anelka and Diego Costa (and Hasselbaink) were my exceptions to the rule.

https://www.redcafe.net/threads/timo-werner-chelsea-player.455154/post-26554790

Ah right just saw the post out of context here. Its fair to say its a hard place to make ones own a lot like Ajax post Zlatan (Suarez being the only one). A lot of the guys who didn't make it were benched by Drogba and or Costa though. Drogba in particular saw off a lot of contenders and probably ended Shevchenko's career.

 

[NYAS]

We have been consistently winning throughout the time all of those players were at Chelsea so who cares.

Also, I don't know what's sillier, lumping Pedro in as a striker or lumping him in as a terrible signing.

Maybe you could have won more though. Something to consider.

 

[TheReligion]

Drogba, Anelka, Diego Costa were all great there.

Yeah they aren't on the list.

 

[padr81]

Yeah they aren't on the list.

What I was trying to say but for some reason never typed out my thoughts, is new guys came in but were not buried by Chelsea but by them. Drogba relegated half them to bench warmers alone.

 

[duffer]

Maybe you could have won more though. Something to consider.

If any club was more successful at signing players then they could've won more. Of course.

 

[charlenefan]

Don't forget Batshuayi as well

 

[duffer]

Since friday a certain person has posted 60+ times. 38 of those posts were about Chelsea. 0 were in any threads to do with Manchester United, no posts at all before or after your game today.

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why is @TheReligion so concerned?

Do we have a closet Chelsea fan on our hands? Just come out mate, it's fine.

 

[TheReligion]

Since friday a certain person has posted 60+ times. 38 of those posts were about Chelsea. 0 were in any threads to do with Manchester United, no posts at all before or after your game today.

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why is @TheReligion so concerned?

Do we have a closet Chelsea fan on our hands? Just come out mate, it's fine.

Do you watch me whilst I shower too?

I'm actually quite aroused.

 

[duffer]

Do you watch me whilst I shower too?

I'm actually quite aroused.

Trick question, I know Chelsea fans take baths.

 

[Zlatan 7]

Since friday a certain person has posted 60+ times. 38 of those posts were about Chelsea. 0 were in any threads to do with Manchester United, no posts at all before or after your game today.

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why is @TheReligion so concerned?

Do we have a closet Chelsea fan on our hands? Just come out mate, it's fine.

Have you just gone back and counted through 60 posts Dedication

 

[TheReligion]

Trick question, I know Chelsea fans take baths.

Chelsea fans don't bath. They bathe. You've been rumbled and I reckon never set foot in the Shed End.

 

[TheReligion]

Have you just gone back and counted through 60 posts Dedication

Im his Caf crush. I feel flattered but it'll make @esmufc07 jealous.

 

[duffer]

Have you just gone back and counted through 60 posts Dedication

Takes a few seconds. Click the poster and then postings.

Each page only lists 20 and I gave up after 3 pages, finding nothing about Man United.

A handy tool for finding the trolls.

 

[TheReligion]

Takes a few seconds. Click the poster and then postings.

Each page only lists 20 and I gave up after 3 pages, finding nothing about Man United.

A handy tool for finding the trolls.

You take all this far too seriously my friend.

 

[duffer]

You take all this far too seriously my friend.

There's nothing remotely serious about this! Seeing your post history genuinely made me chuckle.

"one of us, one of us".

 

[TheReligion]

There's nothing remotely serious about this! Seeing your post history genuinely made me chuckle.

"one of us, one of us".

Very passive aggressive all the time following me about then pretending you aren't bothered. I'll stop pushing your buttons now I promise! PS there's another 28,000+ posts to look through if you've got the time.

Jeez I am mellowing @SilentWitness. I feel bad!

 

[Moby]

Since friday a certain person has posted 60+ times. 38 of those posts were about Chelsea. 0 were in any threads to do with Manchester United, no posts at all before or after your game today.

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why is @TheReligion so concerned?

Do we have a closet Chelsea fan on our hands? Just come out mate, it's fine.

That's incredible coming from a Chelsea fan who's spent 16 years of his life posting close to 40000 posts on a Manchester United forum.

 

[duffer]

That's incredible coming from a Chelsea fan who's spent 16 years of his life posting close to 40000 posts on a Manchester United forum.

You should see how many I have on the Chelsea forum I frequent!

And 90% of my posts are about Chelsea (the other 10% seem to be me moaning about self service tills).

 

[renandstimpyfan83]

Roll up, roll up and welcome to @Dante's Chelsea Striker Graveyard Extravaganza featuring the utterly fantastic...

Higuain, Morata, Pedro, Falcao, Remy, Salah, Eto'o, Ba, Lukaku, Torres, Sturridge, Di Santo, Shevchenko, Kezman, Crespo, Mutu, Pato, Pizzaro, Batshuayi

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why does Timo Werner look set to join the plot?

*removed Anelka having forgot to do so initially.

Higuaín, Eto’o and Sheva were old/past it, Torres and Falcao had been destroyed by injury.

Pato was a speculative loan signing who very few people expected much of.

Kežman was intended as back up for Drogba who wasn’t so much ruined by Chelsea as never being good enough to succeed in a top league.

Pizarro was essentially used as a pawn by Mourinho to protest against a lack of funds for expensive alternatives. He never had any intentions of actually using him.

Batshuayi, Ba and Rémy were signed to be squad players and did a job.

Lukaku and Sturridge were young players who wanted first team football that Chelsea made a big profit on.

Di Santo was a kid signed on the cheap as a punt but was never good enough.

Mutu had personal problems and Mourinho didn’t fancy him.

Crespo was actually good for Chelsea but didn’t fancy England and was desperate to return to Italy.

Morata is a decent striker but very fragile mentally. Once he hit bad form at Chelsea he never recovered.

Salah was another case of Mourinho not wanting to develop a player and only being interested in finished products. He seemed to have been signed merely as a knee jerk reaction to him knocking them out of the Champions League.

Pedro was a winger and played an important role in two title wins. A weird addition to the list.

You can question Chelsea’s due diligence with signings as there were clear reasons why a lot of these strikers were not going to be successful. The odd thing about Werner is that none of these seem to apply to him. He’s actually been similar to Morata in that he started really well but then had a massive drop of towards the end of the Autumn and now looks like he’ll miss every chance he gets. Perhaps he has similar mentality issues but those have never come to the fore in Germany (although he was pretty anonymous at the World Cup to be fair). I don’t buy the being played out of position thing either. I’ve always thought he’s looked best as an inside left. Never really fancied him as a centre forward in a one striker system.

 

[bond19821982]

The same can be said about our defense as well. Since 2010 we have had about 20 of them none good enough to be considered as a top class and we are still looking for upgrades.

Point is, every club goes through this and Chelsea being typical Chelsea may have bit spent more on strikers.

 

[RedBanker]

What about our own defenders graveyard? The Da Silvas, McNair, Blind, Rojo, Jones, smalling, Blackett, that Dutch left back, Darmian, Bailly, Lindelof, Maguire....

 

[TheReligion]

What about our own defenders graveyard? The Da Silvas, McNair, Blind, Rojo, Jones, smalling, Blackett, that Dutch left back, Darmian, Bailly, Lindelof, Maguire....

Yeah doesn't really work the same when you include youth products who didn't cost anything and players like Smalling who was at the club several years.

Some clutching at it additions I must say but feel free to create a new thread if you like!

 

[Lay]

Eto’o did alright I thought

 

[duffer]

Eto’o did alright I thought

Yep.

We have signed a ton of dreadful flop strikers but the likes of Eto'o, Crespo, Pedro, Ba, Anelka and Sturridge don't fit.

 

[Feed Me]

Since friday a certain person has posted 60+ times. 38 of those posts were about Chelsea. 0 were in any threads to do with Manchester United, no posts at all before or after your game today.

There's a serious theme behind this. What's going wrong and why is @TheReligion so concerned?

Do we have a closet Chelsea fan on our hands? Just come out mate, it's fine.

That’s mad.

 

[giorno]

The big name signings in there are Crespo, Mutu, Drogba, Sheva, Pedro, Eto'o, Diego Costa, Lukaku, Morata, Higuain. The others were pretty much either cheap punts or squad players, with low expectations

Crespo - whatever the feck they do to strikers at chelsea. Milan needed half a season to rebuild his confidence
Mutu - this one was on the player. Or rather the man
Drogba - success!
Sheva - top 5 in the world at the time of the signing. Broken shell after like 5 months. Again, what the feck do they do to strikers at chelsea?!?! Is it something in the water???
Pedro - issue here was of expectations not matching reality. He was a very good player, and was indeed very good for chelsea. If chelsea or people expected more from him, that's on them
Eto'o - cheap punt for a clearly past it striker, not lot of expectations here i'd say, mostly a panic buy following rooney's extension with united. Performed to expectations i would say
Lukaku - blame Mourinho
Diego Costa - success! ....also wanted to get the hell out 6 months after signing for them...
Morata - too mentally fragile
Higuain - past it, unmotivated. As soon as he experienced english refs he decided he couldn't be bothered. Still, another relatively cheap punt on a 6 months loan

 

[duffer]

The big name signings in there are Crespo, Mutu, Drogba, Sheva, Pedro, Eto'o, Diego Costa, Lukaku, Morata, Higuain. The others were pretty much either cheap punts or squad players, with low expectations

Crespo - whatever the feck they do to strikers at chelsea. Milan needed half a season to rebuild his confidence
Mutu - this one was on the player. Or rather the man
Drogba - success!
Sheva - top 5 in the world at the time of the signing. Broken shell after like 5 months. Again, what the feck do they do to strikers at chelsea?!?! Is it something in the water???
Pedro - issue here was of expectations not matching reality. He was a very good player, and was indeed very good for chelsea. If chelsea or people expected more from him, that's on them
Eto'o - cheap punt for a clearly past it striker, not lot of expectations here i'd say, mostly a panic buy following rooney's extension with united. Performed to expectations i would say
Lukaku - blame Mourinho
Diego Costa - success! ....also wanted to get the hell out 6 months after signing for them...
Morata - too mentally fragile
Higuain - past it, unmotivated. As soon as he experienced english refs he decided he couldn't be bothered. Still, another relatively cheap punt on a 6 months loan

Crespo was fine for us. He had family issues and the chance to go to Milan, which he didn't think he could turn down.

Jose wanted him to stay but he wanted to go home and win the Italian league (he'd just won the English one).

Also, Pedro wasn't a striker so replace him with Torres!

 

[Inigo Montoya]

More of a manager graveyard I’d say

 

[tenpoless]

I didn't know Dante owns Chelsea. Very nice.

 

[duffer]

More of a manager graveyard I’d say

It's the best job in football. A few months work and then you get £20 million.

 

[FootballHQ]

Higuain's probably the worst one in recent times although his 5 prem goals were about 2 more than I expected. Largely against the bottom 6 teams. At least for Chelsea that was only half season loan and he didn't cost 40m +.

Now scoring grand total of one goal in MLS.

 

[FrankDrebin]

Forgot Falcao played for them.

 

[Schmeichel's Cartwheel]

Drogba was alright tbf...

Mutu was my favourite. They spent about 20m (in 2003, so probably like 60m now) on him & then sacked him a year later