Film Fast X

SalfordRed18

Netflix and avocado, no chill
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So who's seen it? Got released last week

Yes, they're objectively terrible films. But you don't go and watch fast and furious for captivating narrative and rich character development. You watch them for genuinely good action sequences that say feck you to the laws of physics and to see what whacky thing they're gonna do next.

Anywho, just got out of Fast X and it's :drool:

Full of plot holes, half of it doesn't make sense but very entertaining. Jason mamoa is excellent. They're trying to have heath ledger's jokers energy mixed with captain jack sparrows eccentricity, and it works.

Looks like it's the first of a final trilogy too, so haters will be getting their wish soon too!
 
Any bits in this one like the space car? I remember thinking that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in a movie, whilst loving it at the same time.
 
This was pure utter nonsense from the start. But the star was Jason Momoa. Probably the best villian in the whole series. He looked like he was having some great fun with the role. It was entertaining at least. Better then the last 2.
 
Mr Pigeon said:
Any bits in this one like the space car? I remember thinking that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in a movie, whilst loving it at the same time.
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The space car is my personal highlight of the franchise. Absolutely ridiculous whilst simultaneously entertaining as feck. They said we're gonna wrap this car in literal foil and take it space, feck logic.

They don't go into space this time, but there's a completely ridiculous scene on the streets of Rome near the beginning of the film, which is fun.
 
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SalfordRed18 said:
The space car is my personality highlight of the franchise. Absolutely ridiculous whilst simultaneously entertaining as feck. They said we're gonna wrap this car in literal foil and take it space, feck logic.

They don't go into space this time, but there's a completely ridiculous scene on the streets of Rome near the beginning of the film, which is fun.
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:lol: everything is possible because....family!
 
SalfordRed18 said:
The space car is my personality highlight of the franchise. Absolutely ridiculous whilst simultaneously entertaining as feck. They said we're gonna wrap this car in literal foil and take it space, feck logic.

They don't go into space this time, but there's a completely ridiculous scene on the streets of Rome near the beginning of the film, which is fun.
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Nice one. I'll need to get tickets for this absolutely insane spectacle of fun bullshit!
 
How's it gone from being the "last one".... nah it's gonna be "two parts".... to a "trilogy" in the space of like 15 months?

It'll be Fast X-X before long.
 
Zen said:
How's it gone from being the "last one".... nah it's gonna be "two parts".... to a "trilogy" in the space of like 15 months?

It'll be Fast X-X before long.
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Because family fasts forever.


Edit: I'd bet the mortgage to the house I don't have 'Fast Forever' will be the final films name.
 
Also who on earth will pick Barbie ahead of Vin Diesel?
 
Watched it and…:lol:

Also seems that literally no character (part of the “family” anyway) can actually die. They just randomly get brought back to life and it’s explained away. Fantastic.
 
Right, so, I didn't really watch it, watch it..... but any scene I did actually watch felt like it was done, either written by or generated by AI, especially the ending, which basically felt like this whole thing was just a farce.

It's fecking horrendous. It's gone a long way from Fast Five, which was modestly decent.
 
Probably one of the worst, most pointless films I’ve ever seen. And I usually like a bit of mindless, credibility stretching, action.

Is there really anything worse than Dominic Toretto teleporting around the world, talking about fatherhood and family, in his suped up Charger and elevator shoes, destroying historical landmarks, clenching his fists 24/7, cutting the sleeves off every shirt he owns, flexing as hard as possible regardless of what he’s doing, snarling every line, developing super powers, and presumably killing millions of bystanders?

Two and a half hours of Vin Diesel sucking his own dick and trying too hard to prove he’s as big and tough and macho as a series of bigger and tougher and more macho rivals. The supporting cast, including his absurdly fearless 8 year old son, have also now acquired the immortality previously reserved for the lead hero. L’il B can already fly.

Can’t really be bothered going into the puzzling flamboyancy of Momoa’s villain. Not sure what they were going for there. Nor the absence of a Brazilian Portuguese accent; because hey, he’s camp as feck so that’s Brazilian enough, am I right?

Every character cameo possible is pulled off, without any real purpose or direction. Han eats a lot of sunflower seeds. Wonder Woman’s back. In a nuclear submarine this time. There’s a real cliff hanger at the end when the short one, shouty one, and hot one are killed in a seemingly inescapable trap. I know the entire fan base will be on tenterhooks to find out if they’ve survived. Nail biting stuff.

The stunts are laughable, characters are now superheroes, the plot is nonsensical, the cast charmless, and the dialogue was seemingly written by an eight year old on a cycle of nandrolone.

There are mindless entertainment films. There are fun but silly action films. There are “so bad it’s good” films. This is none of these. While most of the cast seem vaguely aware of the preposterous, and hysterical nature, of their endeavour, Vin Diesel seems convinced he’s pushing a work of art with a deep message about the unbreakable bonds of family, rather than being a 55 year old man child, acting out his every insecurity, and making up for what can presumably only be a micro penis. If Vin was a footballer, he’d be Cristiano Ronaldo.
 
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simonhch said:
Probably one of the worst, most pointless films I’ve ever seen. And I usually like a bit of mindless, credibility stretching, action.

Is there really anything worse than Dominic Toretto teleporting around the world, talking about fatherhood and family, in his suped up Charger and elevator shoes, destroying historical landmarks, clenching his fists 24/7, cutting the sleeves off every shirt he owns, flexing as hard as possible regardless of what he’s doing, snarling every line, developing super powers, and presumably killing millions of bystanders?

Two and a half hours of Vin Diesel sucking his own dick and trying too hard to prove he’s as big and tough and macho as a series of bigger and tougher and more macho rivals. The supporting cast, including his absurdly fearless 8 year old son, have also now acquired the immortality previously reserved for the lead hero. L’il B can already fly.

Can’t really be bothered going into the puzzling flamboyancy of Momoa’s villain. Not sure what they were going for there. Nor the absence of a Brazilian Portuguese accent; because hey, he’s camp as feck so that’s Brazilian enough, am I right?

Every character cameo possible is pulled off, without any real purpose or direction. Han eats a lot of sunflower seeds. Wonder Woman’s back. In a nuclear submarine this time. There’s a real cliff hanger at the end when the short one, shouty one, and hot one are killed in a seemingly inescapable trap. I know the entire fan base will be on tenterhooks to find out if they’ve survived. Nail biting stuff.

The stunts are laughable, characters are now superheroes, the plot is nonsensical, the cast charmless, and the dialogue was seemingly written by an eight year old on a cycle of nandrolone.

There are mindless entertainment films. There are fun but silly action films. There are “so bad it’s good” films. This is none of these. While most of the cast seem vaguely aware of the preposterous, and hysterical nature, of their endeavour, Vin Diesel seems convinced he’s pushing a work of art with a deep message about the unbreakable bonds of family, rather than being a 55 year old man child, acting out his every insecurity, and making up for what can presumably only be a micro penis. If Vin was a footballer, he’d be Cristiano Ronaldo.
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Yeah so I don't think the fast series is for you :lol:
 
simonhch said:
Probably one of the worst, most pointless films I’ve ever seen. And I usually like a bit of mindless, credibility stretching, action.

Is there really anything worse than Dominic Toretto teleporting around the world, talking about fatherhood and family, in his suped up Charger and elevator shoes, destroying historical landmarks, clenching his fists 24/7, cutting the sleeves off every shirt he owns, flexing as hard as possible regardless of what he’s doing, snarling every line, developing super powers, and presumably killing millions of bystanders?

Two and a half hours of Vin Diesel sucking his own dick and trying too hard to prove he’s as big and tough and macho as a series of bigger and tougher and more macho rivals. The supporting cast, including his absurdly fearless 8 year old son, have also now acquired the immortality previously reserved for the lead hero. L’il B can already fly.

Can’t really be bothered going into the puzzling flamboyancy of Momoa’s villain. Not sure what they were going for there. Nor the absence of a Brazilian Portuguese accent; because hey, he’s camp as feck so that’s Brazilian enough, am I right?

Every character cameo possible is pulled off, without any real purpose or direction. Han eats a lot of sunflower seeds. Wonder Woman’s back. In a nuclear submarine this time. There’s a real cliff hanger at the end when the short one, shouty one, and hot one are killed in a seemingly inescapable trap. I know the entire fan base will be on tenterhooks to find out if they’ve survived. Nail biting stuff.

The stunts are laughable, characters are now superheroes, the plot is nonsensical, the cast charmless, and the dialogue was seemingly written by an eight year old on a cycle of nandrolone.

There are mindless entertainment films. There are fun but silly action films. There are “so bad it’s good” films. This is none of these. While most of the cast seem vaguely aware of the preposterous, and hysterical nature, of their endeavour, Vin Diesel seems convinced he’s pushing a work of art with a deep message about the unbreakable bonds of family, rather than being a 55 year old man child, acting out his every insecurity, and making up for what can presumably only be a micro penis. If Vin was a footballer, he’d be Cristiano Ronaldo.
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:lol:
 
I just watched Fast 9, it's one of - if not the dumbest movie I've ever seen in my life.

Looking forward to this one!
 
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simonhch said:
Probably one of the worst, most pointless films I’ve ever seen. And I usually like a bit of mindless, credibility stretching, action.

Is there really anything worse than Dominic Toretto teleporting around the world, talking about fatherhood and family, in his suped up Charger and elevator shoes, destroying historical landmarks, clenching his fists 24/7, cutting the sleeves off every shirt he owns, flexing as hard as possible regardless of what he’s doing, snarling every line, developing super powers, and presumably killing millions of bystanders?

Two and a half hours of Vin Diesel sucking his own dick and trying too hard to prove he’s as big and tough and macho as a series of bigger and tougher and more macho rivals. The supporting cast, including his absurdly fearless 8 year old son, have also now acquired the immortality previously reserved for the lead hero. L’il B can already fly.

Can’t really be bothered going into the puzzling flamboyancy of Momoa’s villain. Not sure what they were going for there. Nor the absence of a Brazilian Portuguese accent; because hey, he’s camp as feck so that’s Brazilian enough, am I right?

Every character cameo possible is pulled off, without any real purpose or direction. Han eats a lot of sunflower seeds. Wonder Woman’s back. In a nuclear submarine this time. There’s a real cliff hanger at the end when the short one, shouty one, and hot one are killed in a seemingly inescapable trap. I know the entire fan base will be on tenterhooks to find out if they’ve survived. Nail biting stuff.

The stunts are laughable, characters are now superheroes, the plot is nonsensical, the cast charmless, and the dialogue was seemingly written by an eight year old on a cycle of nandrolone.

There are mindless entertainment films. There are fun but silly action films. There are “so bad it’s good” films. This is none of these. While most of the cast seem vaguely aware of the preposterous, and hysterical nature, of their endeavour, Vin Diesel seems convinced he’s pushing a work of art with a deep message about the unbreakable bonds of family, rather than being a 55 year old man child, acting out his every insecurity, and making up for what can presumably only be a micro penis. If Vin was a footballer, he’d be Cristiano Ronaldo.
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I now want to watch the movie just for this review.
 
I fecking loved it.

Like I know it's objectively a mess of a film but I'm all in :lol:

Best one since Furious 7.
 
Finally seen this. It's pure nonsense and I loved it.

I like that the series has embraced the ridiculousness of things and just throw logic out and try to do as many insane and bonkers things as possible.

Bringing people back from the dead is great and fits the franchise.

Mamoa clearly had a blast and a lot of fun making this

This thing of doing a two part final movie is annoying especially if you have to wait two years or more between movie one and two
 
simonhch said:
Probably one of the worst, most pointless films I’ve ever seen. And I usually like a bit of mindless, credibility stretching, action.

Is there really anything worse than Dominic Toretto teleporting around the world, talking about fatherhood and family, in his suped up Charger and elevator shoes, destroying historical landmarks, clenching his fists 24/7, cutting the sleeves off every shirt he owns, flexing as hard as possible regardless of what he’s doing, snarling every line, developing super powers, and presumably killing millions of bystanders?

Two and a half hours of Vin Diesel sucking his own dick and trying too hard to prove he’s as big and tough and macho as a series of bigger and tougher and more macho rivals. The supporting cast, including his absurdly fearless 8 year old son, have also now acquired the immortality previously reserved for the lead hero. L’il B can already fly.

Can’t really be bothered going into the puzzling flamboyancy of Momoa’s villain. Not sure what they were going for there. Nor the absence of a Brazilian Portuguese accent; because hey, he’s camp as feck so that’s Brazilian enough, am I right?

Every character cameo possible is pulled off, without any real purpose or direction. Han eats a lot of sunflower seeds. Wonder Woman’s back. In a nuclear submarine this time. There’s a real cliff hanger at the end when the short one, shouty one, and hot one are killed in a seemingly inescapable trap. I know the entire fan base will be on tenterhooks to find out if they’ve survived. Nail biting stuff.

The stunts are laughable, characters are now superheroes, the plot is nonsensical, the cast charmless, and the dialogue was seemingly written by an eight year old on a cycle of nandrolone.

There are mindless entertainment films. There are fun but silly action films. There are “so bad it’s good” films. This is none of these. While most of the cast seem vaguely aware of the preposterous, and hysterical nature, of their endeavour, Vin Diesel seems convinced he’s pushing a work of art with a deep message about the unbreakable bonds of family, rather than being a 55 year old man child, acting out his every insecurity, and making up for what can presumably only be a micro penis. If Vin was a footballer, he’d be Cristiano Ronaldo.
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You're taking this waaaaaay too seriously and the reveal at the end :drool:

P.s. the absolutely cheesiness was hard to get through but the mindless, supercharged action was well worth it at the end because, you know ... family!!!
 
I just remembered that I have seen probably all 10 parts and Mamoa is the worst thing about it by a quarter mile.
 
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